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Im holding all these feelings inside of me and have been for many years and i think its finally hit me and i cant do it alone anymore. i want to scream out to the cold world and tell everyone who has ever came into my life and walked out to kiss my #$^.. this isnt fair anymore. i do and do and do for everyone and now im at the time in my life where i truly need someone and there isnt any hand to hold.
i cant even begin to express the level of depression running through my life right now and the disturbing thoughts flowing through my mind. My daughter is the only person and reason i havent found a bridge and jumped off and call me stupid for posting this at the moment but i cant talk to anyone for the simple fact that my entire family and friends have completly slid out of my life. i have no one to confide in or comfort me. i feel so alone and i cant deal with these things alone.
Its been so long since ive had the strength or inspirtation to write agian and ive realized that ever since i can remember anything ive written was based on a bad moment in my life which is what bring me to writing again. It always seems like when things begin to go good the devil comes and sits right next to me and turns my world upside down. Things have been far from okay lately and i feel completly out of my mind right now.
My life has always been a rollercoaster. Ever since I was a little girl. It just goes around and around. Sometimes feel like heartache is just waiting around the corner waiting to come attack me. I thank god for giving me the strength and patience to over come the obsiticles i do but sometimes i wonder how strong i can truly be. Will I come to a stop one day and finally break down because of everything I have held inside throughout the years?? hmmmm

mood: confuesed and hurt
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/notebook/jaemarie