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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
| *Polite Way to Pee* During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the toilet Michael said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.' The teacher replied: 'That would be rude and impolite' What about you Sherman, how would you say it?' Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' 'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners? Johnny said: 'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' The teacher fainted.. |
| At a job interview Employer : I went through your resume and see that you have extensive experience of working in one company for over ten years. Can you tell me more about this company where you recently were promoted as a President even though the company made losses for so many years ? Candidate : This is our family owned business started by my great grandfather, then continued by my grandmother and then took over by my father when I was in school. After he passed away my mother took over and ran the business. I grew up and then joined as vice president directly without any prior experience as my mother told me it is not required and after so many years she felt I deserve a promotion and gave me the presidentship but then things are not going as planned so I.... Employer : Hold it right there...What? I am sorry but for this critical leadership role in our company we cannot consider your family business experience as relevant. We need someone who has served extensively employed in a firm and has delivered results throughout his career. Candidate :. Sir please understand I am in desperate need of this leadership position at your company as my mother now feels that my sister will make for a better president of her company as she resembles her grandmother and has also got a similar hairstyle done up recently. Hence I am being pushed out and will be jobless soon. Employer : Get out!! This interview is over. This story has nothing to do with the political breaking news you have been watching recently ๐ |
| While examining a female patient, Doctor tells her, โYour heart, lungs, pulse, BP are fine. Now let me see that cute little thing which gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady hesitates a moment and says *You mean I should take off my clothes here*? The doctor, shocked, says *โNo! No! Lady, just show me your tongueโฆโ* ๐๐๐๐๐ |
| Lady was travelling in a train with a 6 year kid... they both were reading books.... It seemed unbelievable to most of the fellow passengers. Then one of them got up and asked..."maam in today's world the kids who are born play with smartphone and this kid is reading. How come he is not playing with phone or a tablet? How come he listens to you and how did you make him do that?" To this the woman calmly replied "Sir, kids do not listen to us but they surely do copy us." A small sentence... a deep meaning. |
| ๐ฎ๐ณ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐ฎ๐ณ *Ten best Indian Army quotes: Must read. Really felt proud just by reading them* ๐๐ผ 1. "Either I will come back after hoisting the tricolor, or I will come back wrapped in it, but I will be back for sure.โ โ Capt. Vikram Batra, Param Veer Chakra 2. โWhat is a lifetime adventure for you is a daily routine for us.โ โ Ladakh Leh highway sign board Indian Army 3. โIf death strikes, before I prove my blood, I swear Iโll kill death.โ โ Capt. Manoj Kumar Pandey, Param Veer Chakra 1/11 Gorkha Rifles 4. โOur flag does not fly because the wind moves it, it flies with the last breath of each soldier who died protecting it.โ 5. โTo find us, you must be good, to catch us you must be fast, but to beat usโฆโฆโฆโฆyou must be kidding.โ 6. โMay God have mercy on our enemies, because we wonโt.โ 7. โWe live by chance, we love by choice, we kill by profession.โ โ Officers Training Academy, Chennai 8. โIf a man says heโs not afraid of dying, heโs either lying, or heโs a Gorkha.โ โ Field Marshal Sam Manekshaw 9. โIt is Godโs duty to forgive the enemies, but itโs our duty to convene a meeting between the two.โ 10. โI regret I have but one life to give for my country.โ โ Officer Prem Ramchandani ๐ฎ๐ณ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐๐ฝโโ๐ฎ๐ณ |
| Why people from different communities run the Mumbai Marathon : - Sindhis run because the cost includes return Sealink toll charges - Gujjus run because the cost includes return Sealink toll charges + Free empty Goody bag + Free Water + Free Enerzal + Free Oranges + Free Salt + Free Ice Pack+ Free whiffs of Volini Spray on the route - Marwaris run for all of the above reasons + they think they can take an interest free loan from Std. Chartered Bank for their business just because they ran ! - Punjus run simply because of peer pressure from other communities + that they can upload their pics posing on the Sealink. Otherwise they rather be sleeping. - Maharashtrians run because that day most roads are closed and BEST buses are not plying - so how else will they commute ? - Biharis & Bhaiyas run because they feel the Maharashtrians are running behind them and they run for their lives - Catholics run because that's what they have been trained for since childhood - athletics or hockey or football - Parsis run so hopefully they can find some other Parsi on the race track and get married immediately after the race - South Indians run because of the completion certificate which they will get so that they can add this to their collection of certificates which they are collecting since childhood. - Muslims run because they want to experience how it feels to cross the Sealink without riding triple seat on their bikes without helmets.... ๐๐๐๐ฑ |
A Chinese stopped at a local restaurant after a day roaming around in Spain. While sipping his wine, he noticed a sizzling food being served next table. Not only did it look good, smell too was nice. He asked waiter: What you just served? Look like Spanish Oysters!' Waiter: Senor, you got excellent taste! Those not Oysters...they are Cojones de Toro, bull's balls from bull fight this morning. A rare delicacy!' The man: Waah, can order one, can aa.. ? Waiter: So sorry Senor. Only one serving one day because only one bull fight every morning. Tomorrow u come early and place order, we sure serve u this delicacy.' I Next morning, the man returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the special dish. After a few bites n inspecting his plate, he called to the waiter and said: These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller. Yesterday it was bigger. The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied: Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull dies and sometimes the man dies !' ๐ |
| She stands precisely 5ft tall in her everyday shoes and her smile is disarmingly sweet. Kate Nesbitt doesn't immediately fit the image of a fearless military hero, not off the battlefield at least. But there are probably few people a critically injured soldier would rather meet in the chaos of a desert gunfight than this 21-yearold blonde in full flight. Bravery: Kate Nesbitt receives the Military Cross from the Prince of Wales during investitures at Buckingham Palace in London. And the sight of her sprinting through an Afghan war zone under heavy machine gun fire is almost certainly one that Lance Corporal John List will remember for the rest of a life he now owes to her astonishing display of courage Kate, a medical assistant serving as an Able Seaman with the Royal Navy, raced 70 yards to the stricken soldier's side as he nearly choked to death from a gunshot wound to the mouth. She cut open a temporary airway and treated him for 45 minutes as rockets whizzed overhead and bullets thudded into the ground nearby. Yesterday her 'inspirational' bravery was rewarded at Buckingham Palace when she became the Navy's first woman to be invested with the Military Cross. Then, with a few modest words, she underlined the remarkable spirit of loyalty that bonds Britain's servicemen and women on the front line. 'I promised my friends and comrades I'd be their medic,' she said. 'I promised I'd be there if they ever needed me. They needed me that day - so when the call came, that's just what I did.' Kate, from Whitleigh, Plymouth, stepped into the history books as only the second woman to be awarded the MC, one of Britain's highest gallantry awards, as well as becoming the only MC Wren. Presenting her award, the Prince of Wales bowed to what he called her 'extraordinary' heroism. Her citation read: 'Under fire and under pressure her commitment and courage were inspirational and made the difference between life and death.' |
| I can look at a flower, a cloud or a bird on the wing without a center, without a word, the word which creates thought. Can I look without the word at every problemโthe problem of fear, the problem of pleasure? Because the word creates, breeds thought; and thought is memory, experience, pleasure, and therefore a distorting factor. This is really quite astonishingly simple. Because it is simple, we mistrust it. We want everything to be very complicated, very cunning; and all cunning is covered with a perfume of words. If I can look at a flower non-verballyโand I can; anyone can do it, if one gives sufficient attentionโcan't I look with that same objective, non-verbal attention at the problems which I have? Can't I look out of silence, which is non-verbal, without the thinking machinery of pleasure and time being in operation? Can't I just look? I think that's the crux of the whole matter, not to approach from the periphery, which only complicates life tremendously, but to look at life, with all its complex problems of livelihood, sex, death, misery, sorrow, the agony of being tremendously aloneโto look at all that without association, out of silence, which means without a center, without the word which creates the reaction of thought, which is memory and hence time. I think that is the real problem, the real issue: whether the mind can look at life where there is immediate action, not an idea and then action, and eliminate conflict altogether." |
| *Legend's Letter to all the Indian Youth* *To all my sons and daughters* I am 93 now, a retired Army Lieutenant General, perhaps, still wearing the old world on my sleeves, on the last legs of life. I never married, I have no family. With me, the last trace of my bloodline will forever be washed away from the face of India and this earth. I have no son or daughter. But when I think of it, I see my son and daughter in every young face of this country. You are all my sons & daughters. And hence this letter, I write to you. While I am proud to be a Jew, I am an Indian through and through. And I ask you all, to make India our prime Identity. Army life has taught me the importance of duty. *Stand tall, resolve to serve the nation and never waver*. Our duty is to serve. *You need to do what you feel is right, and strive and seek and find and conquer*. This is the only way to be true to your own self. What worries me most is the swarming poor of our nation. *The privileged youth of India should take ownership of the situation*. I talk to the young of this nation. You are far better trained and far more professional than my generation. Sound economic and strategic planning will bring about the required change. Usher in your nation. Sons, *respect women*. I donโt understand how crime against women can happen. I have no answers to them. I can only appeal to those willing to lend an ear. I'm almost finished now. But your life is only beginning. *Begin with a difference*. If I had married, I would have wanted my son or daughter to be an Armyman/Armywoman! *Army life is clean, disciplined and has a purpose*. Think about this career option, too, but also bear in mind, Army life is not just song, dance and a glass of scotch. Let me tell you, my favourite drink is water! |
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Thanks for sharing.