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 |   As the first blog entry got exhausted. My second book |
| Evolution of Love Part 2 |
| Mother was sitting on the eastern veranda of the Ashram. We also were squatting there. Prof. Shyama Charan Babu of Agra College was amongst us. He asked Mother why She had been laughing so excessively the day before. Mother: "Smiles and tears are indeed such with this body. You saw me laughing only at the time of reading. In the evening also I laughed heartily on hearing the sounds coming out of the water tap in the Ashram yard. You must have noticed that when a water tap is turned, air often comes out of it with a hissing sound. Yesterday evening the tap of the Ashram yard was emitting a similar sound. When I heard it I was convulsed with laughter. This is because there are some screws loose somewhere in this head. Again, when Swami was reading at night, a slight touch of his hand turned the bookstand upside down. This gave me more convulsions of laughter. But the incident itself was nothing to laugh about. That shows that laughter comes to this body without any apparent reason. Anything may give occasion to a fit of laughter. Any attempt to check it at the time has the effect of only pouring oil on fire." "…Once at the Dacca Ashram there was a Kirtan party. The Kirtaniya was singing in an inspired mood. His face was suffused with tears. The listeners were visibly moved. Though the singer had plenty of emotion, his literary attainments were no better than those of this body. While thus singing he mispronounced a word. Though the slip was slight and did not affect the emotional flow either of the singer or of the listeners - it made me laugh. Khukuni tried hard to compose me. She whispered to me that it would hurt the feelings of others. But it was all in vain. They then felt compelled to remove me to some other place. Even there I was rolling with laughter. This may give you some idea as to the character of my laughter. It is not that this body laughs only when there is something comical. It is shaken with laughter even when there is little or no occasion for it. At the sight of people's grief this body has often burst into laughter. Those who are unacquainted with the vagaries of this body may very well be offended. They may think that I simply laugh at them, which would be far from the truth." Sometimes it so happens that the incident which seems to move this body to laughter is not the real cause at all. Some incidents of the past or future swim into my ken and give occasion to the laughter. There was a Gujerati lady amongst us named Miss Mani Ben. She asked: "Mother, you have just referred to your visions of the past and future. How do you have them? Do you see them with your two physical eyes, or (pointing at the space between the two eyebrows) do you see them with the third eye that is here?" Mother: "How do I see them? Why, the eyes are all over the body. Don't you know that everything has in it (the essence of) all other things? Hands, legs, hair, in fact every part of the body can be made the instrument of sight. Of course, it is quite possible to see through the two eyes, which all possess; and the existence of a third eye of which you speak is also true. People do possess such eyes. This may sound strange to you, but nonetheless it is true. Once this body lived on three grains of rice daily for four or five months. Nobody can live for so long on such a meagre diet. It looks like a miracle. But it has been so with this body. It has been so, because it can be so. The reason for this is that what we eat is not all necessary for us. The body takes in only the quintessence of the food, the rest is thrown out. As a result of sadhana the body becomes so constituted that though no food is taken physically, it can imbibe from the surroundings whatever is necessary for its maintenance. In three ways the body can be maintained without food: One way has just been referred to viz. the body can take from the environment the nourishment necessary for its maintenance. Secondly, one can live on air alone. For I have just said that in everything there are all other things; so that the properties of other things are in the air in some measure. Therefore by taking in air alone we get the essence of other things. Again, it may so happen that the body is not taking anything at all, yet it is being maintained unimpaired as in a state of samadhi. Thus you find that as a consequence of sadhana it is quite possible to live without what we call food. In a similar way sadhana can effect such transformation of the body that by virtue of it any part of it can discharge the function of the eye. Shyama Charan Babu: We hear that sages can take over the sufferings of other people. Mother: "This is true. Sages can mitigate the sufferings other people in three ways: they can take the suffering upon themselves and thus relieve the sufferer; or without taking those sufferings upon themselves, they may distribute and apportion them amongst some other persons. This lightens to some extent the intensity and acuteness of the suffering. Also, it may so happen that sages out of supreme Grace can relieve an individual from all the consequences of his actions and restore him to Life Divine, which is his true Self. But such incidents are rare.. Hence it is said that purification comes through suffering." Myself: Mother, how is it possible to distribute sufferings amongst others? This looks like sheer injustice. Mother: "No, there is nothing wrong in it. Sages would divide the sufferings only amongst those who are only too willing and anxious to share them." Shyama Charan Babu: Why should I allow a sage to bear my cross? Mother: "That is well said. A bhakta would speak in this way. A devotee would not have the object of his devotion share his sufferings. He would rather bear his own cross. But sometimes such sufferings are too much for him, and his only concern then becomes how to get rid of them. In such cases only the question of mitigation or extenuation arises. With me, however, everything has happened spontaneously. I have seen that this body has taken upon itself the sufferings of others, not purposely, but without an effort of the will. Once I went to see a patient who was attacked by a severe type of dysentery. On my return I found myself attacked by that very disease. I had frequent motions and passed blood and mucus. This went on for twelve hours. Then I was all right again. For some time something like a blizzard passed over this body, then everything was quiet. The man who had the original attack came round as soon as this body had the disease. At another time this body took upon itself the fever from which another person had been suffering. Every third or fourth day I used to have a violent paroxysm of fever which lasted for three hours. The temperature shot up to 1030 or 1040. We were then at Cox's Bazar. The nature of the fever convinced Dina Bandhu Babu that it was nothing but malaria. Bholanath was of the same opinion, and was anxious to administer quinine. But I flatly refused to take the drug. Dina Bandhu Babu had an almost paternal affection for this body, which used to address him as father. He often would humour me by complying with my requests. Though a Brahmin himself, he had given up the Brahminical practice of uttering Gayatri Mantra. But I induced him to resume. However, when he found me suffering from repeated paroxysms of fever he lost all patience and wrathfully declared: "These devotees have conspired to kill my daughter. I won't listen to anybody. I intend to administer by force, if necessary, quinine this very night." I heard all this, but said nothing. In the afternoon this body fell into a trance-like condition. True to his words Dina Bandhu Babu came with quinine at night. Seeing me in a state of unconsciousness he shook me hard. Though his shaking and hustling made me open my eyes, they remained unmoved in a fixed stare. This pricked his curiosity. He examined me by focussing the light of an electric torch on my eyes and even thrusting his finger into them to see whether they would wink. When all his endeavours failed to restore me to a state of consciousness, he gave up the attempt to administer quinine that night. But he could not abandon the idea of trying the drug on me. Of course I knew how long the fever was to last. So I told him that if the fever persisted beyond a certain period I would take the medicine. But I did not take it, because within the specified period I was all right. I have just now referred to the incident of my living on three grains of rice per day for four or five months. That is an illustration of how creature comforts can be overcome by renunciation. I have not had that sort of renunciation, which you understand by the term in its ordinary sense. For this body has lived with father, mother, husband, and all. This body has served the husband, so you may call it a wife. It has prepared dishes for all, so you may call it a cook. It has done all sorts of scrubbing and menial work, so you may call it a servant. But if you look at the thing from another standpoint you will realise that this body has served none but God. For when I served my father, mother, husband and others, I simply considered them as different manifestations of the Almighty and served them as such. When I sat down to prepare food I did so as if it were a ritual, for the food cooked was after all meant for God. Whatever I did, I did in a spirit of Divine service. Hence I was not quite worldly, though always engaged in household affairs. I had but one ideal, - to serve all as God, to do everything for the sake of God. At that time I lived as one who had taken a vow of silence. I found enough time at my disposal even after the completion of all my household work. Usha lived near our house. She used to read out the Mahabharat at noon. One day I went to hear it. She handed over the book to me for reading. I took it in my hand but could not read; because at that time God's Name always bubbled out of me as from a spring. Somehow it got itself tacked to my natural respiration. Hence I found that any attempt to read the book only resulted in my suffocation. Moreover, you have some idea as to the range of my literary attainments. In order to read I had to spell through every word. When I attempted to read I found that I could not take in two syllables at a time. Suppose I was to pronounce 'aim. I could pronounce 'a' all right, but when it was time to pronounce "ml" I found that I had cleanly forgotten the 'a' and the effacement was so complete that I could not trace its existence in me. In this condition no intelligent reading was possible. But when I sat down to spin, I found that it was no hindrance to repeating God's Name. Both could go on simultaneously. I have spun a good deal of yarn. When I was at Bajitpur I myself prepared a towel and, with the help of a weaver, a pair of dhotis with my hand-spun yarn. At this stage a lady remarked: "Mother, once I have seen you singing and weeping." Mother: "There is nothing uniform with this body. Svabhava (Nature) takes Her unhampered course. The singing and weeping you mention are possible at a certain stage of sadhana. Suppose I sat down to sing. At that time my idea was that it was through God's Grace I was uttering His Name. As I went on repeating the Name, another idea took possession of me, and I thought: "Alas! I am praying so fervently and for such a long time, yet God is not revealing Himself to me!" This sense of frustration created a pang m my heart, and at once tears would trickle down my cheeks. These are, of course, stages of ignorance, for with the dawn of Knowledge prayers and sadhana cease. When the different stages of sadhana were being manifested through this body, what a variety of experiences I then had! Sometimes I used to hear distinctly: "Repeat this mantra". When I got the mantra a query rose in me: "Whose mantra is this?" At once the reply came: "It is the mantra of Ganesh or Vishnu" or something like that. Again the query came from myself: "How does he look?" A form was revealed in no time. Every question was met by a prompt reply and there was immediate dissolution of all doubts and misgivings. One day I distinctly got the command: "From to day you are not to bow down to anybody." I asked my invisible monitor: "Who are you?" The reply came: "Your Shakti" (Power). I thought that there was a distinct Shakti residing in me and guiding me by issuing commands from time to time. Since all this happened at the stage of sadhana, Jnana (Knowledge) was being revealed in a piecemeal fashion. The integral knowledge which this body was possessed of from the very beginning was broken, as it were, into parts and there was something like a superimposition of ignorance. At that time I was mouni (observing silence). This was also due to particular commands. The father of this body came to see me at that time. I could not make obeisance to him. Not that I refrained from doing it intentionally, but this body refused to do anything contrary to the commands it received from time to time. When the father of this body saw that I was not doing my duty by him, he took it to heart. But as I was mouni at that time I could not explain the situation to him. He came to regard me with suspicion. He argued that if my various moods and experiences had a spiritual origin, there was no reason why I should be disrespectful to those to whom respect was due. This led him to consult different persons regarding my condition. In the meantime Siva Ratri (auspicious night for the worship of God Siva) came. On such occasions it was customary with the father of this body to sit up the whole night and worship the God Siva. Corresponding to the four quarters of the night he used to perform puja four times. Each puja was meant for the wellbeing of a particular individual. This time also he proceeded as usual with the puja; and I sat up with him to make arrangements for it. When after finishing puja three times during the first three quarters of the night, he proceeded to perform the puja for the fourth quarter for the benefit of this body, a curious thing happened. He found that as he was proceeding with the worship, this body was uttering aloud all the relevant mantras and prayers quite automatically. This surprised him very much. Though he said nothing, he could not help looking at me from time to time. However, to proceed with the account of my sadhana. After some time I again heard the voice within myself which told me: "Whom do you want to make obeisance to? You are everything." At once I realized that the Universe was all my own manifestation. Partial knowledge then gave place to the integral, and I found myself face to face with the ONE that appears as many. It was then that I understood why I h been forbidden for so long to bow down to anybody." Myself: How long was the period intervening between these two stages? Mother: "Quite long. But in the meantime various Vibhutis were being manifested through this body. These manifestations have again occurred in various ways Sometimes they have been manifested in ignorance, e.g., I found that as soon as I had touched a particular patient he recovered in no time; but I did not know beforehand that he would be cured in that way. Sometimes the manifestation occurred with knowledge mixed up with ignorance, e.g., on seeing a patient I used to argue in this way: "I know from my past experience that my touch has a healing effect. If I touch this patient he may also get well." To verify this I touched him and found that he was cured immediately. Then again manifestations of Vibhuti have taken place with full knowledge and consciousness on my part. Thus I knew for certain that I could cure a disease by a mere touch, and I touched in full confidence of success." Jiten Babu: In what other ways have your Vibhuti been manifested? And how do they manifest themselves now? Mother: Vibhutis have now become a part and parcel of Svabhava. Jiten Babu; I do not quite follow you. Moiher: Vibhutis becoming a part of Svabhava means that everything is now regulated by Svabhava or the Supreme Self. Here there is no scope for the play of a limited self. This was so with this body from its very infancy. Such disclosures are not always made by this body. Since they are coming spontaneously now, I give them out. Let me tell you that what I am, I have been from my infancy. But when the different stages of sadhana were being manifested through this body there was something like a superimposition of aja (ignorance). But what sort of ajnana was that? It was really Jnana masquerading as ajnana. Let me tell you a story relating to my childhood. In childhood, when this body was at Vidyakut, a woman became pregnant, and her child was born when I was still there. I knew from the beginning that the child was not to live long. He came only to complete his cycle of births and deaths. However, the child became one year old. He was not very nice to look at. His complexion was jet black, but his body was very soft. That is why he was always seen in the arms of others, who all wanted to have the luxury of the touch. And the child was all smiles. When he was over a year and a few months old, his span of life came to an end; and he became seriously ill. I went to see him on the day he was to die. On my way I took with me a hibiscus flower, but rubbed it so that the people might not know what I had in my hand. I left the flower under the child's pillow. Those who were present there thought that I had left some 'nirmalya', seeing that the child was near his end. I did all this under the urge of Svabhava. At the stage of sadhana, Vibhuti first manifests itself as joy which comes from the recitation of God's Name. When people experience this, they think that they have got everything that sadhana can yield; and their upward progress is thereby arrested. But he who keeps himself always on the move without being overwhelmed by such manifestations of joy, finds himself in possession of various miraculous powers. But those powers are not meant for display. They should be carefully kept under control. He alone can know his true Self, who keeps alive within him an insatiable thirst for the Divine without being contented with the possession of supernormal powers, powers which enable him to cure any disease by a mere touch of the hand or which lead to the instantaneous fulfilment of all his desires. |
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Thanks for sharing.