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These are my rambles, my thinking as I grow younger and younger. |
This book is about life on earth. Or actually about MY life on earth. Not what I DID, or where I have lived, or which emotion I have wrestled to master. (Well, maybe some of that I suppose.) I mean I have to scribble about something, don't I? Mainly I want to think, and think, and write a book about my thinking. Thoughts can offer opinions, commentary, artwork, humor, debate. I just want to talk, silently. About why I live, where I came from and why I was given days and years and people and dreams and sadness and how none of this was or is a coincidence. THAT'S what this is all about. 
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| That soldier is a kid. He was a 23 year old kid. raised in some isolated forest in Utah from Calvinists parents. Home=schooled. Lived in tents or primitive shelter, no real access to the real word. Likely brought up that everyone in the world must be helped and treated peaceably. Taught in a delusional way from parents. many kids go out looking for that place where they can help people. Of course bored, a 23 year old believing HE can make a difference and the war will end soon. E-mails to parents describe that. He helps the civilian townspeople. And, naively, figures he can leave,meet the Taliban and offer humanitarion assisstance to the poor. Dumb- yet not so dumb. The ability to WANT to help others is a noble quality. Missionaries go into hostile areas all the time. And of late, many Cristians have been stones,hung, massacred. Bad Decisions? Yes, perhaps ALL these idealistic, committed, fools should have known better. Or should they have? Maybe one person was saved, maybe religious tolerance resulted. Who can say. yet,by knowing the background of Sgt. Bowe, how he was raised, the culture in which he lived. This may offer a more, personal insight into Sgt. Bowe as a HUMAN BEING! I hope it does. |
| Was Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl not "worthy" enough to be rescued? Is that the litmus test we now use for human beings? Does society say: "you were incompetent", "you made the choice", "you screwed up", or (in his case) - "you deserted!". Therefore, you get what you deserve? I hope society will be kinder to me the next time I screw-up! Forgiveness has always been a trait in America. The ability to forgive - Americans have always had that. Can we forgive this kid for his horrible decision (and the resulting damage it produced)? Or is he "unworthy"? You decide. |
| Yeah, it's late, cold in California, last poem was trash, have another new poem...draft I and then draft II. Nonsense. Frost wrote 5-10-20 drafts. Mary Oliver revises 100 times! Yikes. Brooding over changing one small word in one line, or chopping dismal words. How did they agonize over snippets of one word, one image. i never intended to achieve greatest in a public way. I always was a writer and wanted to write books. yet, in my 70's eclectic view...women could and would do all that interested them. Writing, college, traveling, Languages, Art History, Finance, and..for me...entering a Service Profession. Practicing as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker for 30 years in California...I absolutely adored my job. I had that passion to change a life, a community, maybe only one suicidal being, who needed a laugh, someone to talk with... But writing, piano, reading, running, Higher schooling, traveling, plays, concerts, family love, laughing ALOT....all have been passions. The entry line is simply: "What do you say? (each morning, to fill silent gaps, to turn ackward meetings, shyness into a skilled social set one learns in school.) Yet too much of this "saying", this "noise" filling silence is really our meek attempt at stuttering.."I exist". "I guess I am someone". "maybe I do matter". "In The Silence Of The Heart God Speaks" - Mother Teresa |
| Yes, as I've traveled this earth these long remarkable years...I knew before that all was in God's order. The years have only reinforced that inner calmness. You see, it is easy to be drawn to the secular. Yet, all that has transpired has been shifting from cultural fads, trendiness, and who and what is the celebrety or the "wow" event of individual days. I don't read newspapers. I watch t.v. if there is comedy. I have never seen "Dark" movies. As a long time Social Worker, I was close and personal with situations and folks that you "normal" ones would never have had the stomach for. After 30 some years......there isn't a story I haven't heard, a tragedy I haven't witnessed, lives I haven't tried to keep from the cliff. Yet, amidst all the evilness, the sociopaths, rapists, arsonists, pediphiles, junkies and suicidal traumas I've witnessed......all seemed calm in God's hands. I notice that the skies at dusk reaveal that same magical aray of color and awe-inspiring ten minutes of leading day into night. Every sunrise in every state or country I have witnessed (after 50 years) still remains spectacular.) Folks, STILL, say hello to one another. They still allow folks to cut in line when the stranger has only one item. Folks still stop if they see an accident. Folks still volunteer in their kid's public schools. They still go to every boring soccer game. Thanksgiving is still a mad rush of love, food and photos. Birthdays are still a big deal. Christmas, and other religious holidays are still treated with sentiment, love and generosity. Yes, as it was in the beginning..........it is now......and it ever shall be. Because God STILL hangs around and HE still loves us! |
I am stealing this from Dolly Parton, sorry Dolly. .."I believe in Santa Claus, I believe in Santaa Clausus, I believe there's always hope when all seems lost and I believe in Santa Claus..." Another favorite (by Johnny, of course)... 'Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane, snow is glistening, a beautiful sight, we're happy tonight Walking in The Winte Wonderland. Gone away are the blue birds here to stay are the new birds. He sings a love song as we roll along Walking in a Winter Wonderland. In the meadow we can build a snowman, and pretend that he is Parsons Brown. He'll say.. "Are you married? We'll say "No, man, but you can do the job when you're in town.." Later on we'll conspire, as we dream by the fire To face unafraid, the plans that we've made Walking in a Winter Wonderland.........." KISS someone you LOVE tonight or upon awakening. Mom, Dad, creepy sister, annoying brother. And blow yourself a kiss because GOD really does Love you!! |
| You see, I already wrote this entry, many hours ago. It was pretty good too. And lo and behold, I forgot to click something, move something, save where it says SAVE at the bottom. My post vanished, poop, pickled, flew upstream with those errant Wally World balloons that are bought and then kids with ice cream seem to let lose of the precious cheap string holding the helium holders together. I went off on a tangent, didn't I? But, hey I just want the new folks around here to realize that not everything on this site is easy to find. I have been a member here since 2005. I never heard of the Quill Awards, had no clue, never glimpsed "Quill" in any news or article. But, guess what? For the year 2010 I was nominated for a Quill Award! I was nominated under the category: Best Forum (no contest) for my long running "Nancy's Poetry Review Forum". Now, THAT was exciting. The Quill troops even sent me a beautiful banner with a feathered quill dipped in a inkwell, with the logo.."2010 Quill Award Nominee". Because I had never heard of these Wdc site awards, it didn't matter one bit whether I lost or won or broke even. It was just a thrill that someone took the time to go to the nomination page and place my Forum into consideration. Now I am considered an alumni of the group. I don't believe I ever was part of a "group". I was shy and mouthy at the same time. but, I look back at getting that e-mail, and it brings me the same thrill I experienced then. Yes, these are not the Tony Awards, nor the Oscars. And Forget The Pulitzer Prize. But it is OUR little effort (or those who began this tradition) to neither judge nor offer gushng praise to the work. It states these awards are a way to recognize the fine writers and artists who toil each day. The awards also bring this community together, for we all have come across many of the winners of the past few years. Awards are fine, I suppose Frost and Oliver and Morrison could have pumped up their egos for quite awhile after winning a Pulitzer. But, I sincerely doubt it. For those named are authors, poets, writers, following their "calling" however known or shown to them by God or by their 4th grade teacher. And to make it very clear, the Writing Site we belong with, have signed up for, have paid yearly membership "donations" to keep the webmaster, the domain site, and the abundance of parties happening here - - well (in my opinion) have some of the most talented writers I have had the pleasure to meet, greet, and laugh with. I also have had so much pleasure reading not only good poetry, but GREAT poetry. If any of my readers care to Google other writing sites, they will find..1) You must pay first - before the big-wigs tell you how great you are. 2) read a few of the "poems" under such inventive themes as: "I lost my true love"; "Death"; "Romance'. Read a few of these poems, and even you newbies will gasp at writers who lack the basic skills; or who vent merely to shock with much of their language. Yes, I am being snippy. But I did my research, and instead of competitiveness, Writing.Com members are a community that encourages, are critical when need be, yet open their doors to classes, advice, consultation, and inclusiveness. Quill Nominations for 2011 are now in process. I'm not sure of who can nominate or who does the judging. But check out the Quill Pages. At the top, search for Quill Awards or Quill Nominations, and find out who and what hve already received nominations. Next year, there will be a live presentation (a live award ceremony) at a specified place on this site, where you can be part of the action, applaud the fine writers, and, read some of these trememdous works. Remember: You ARE a writer. If a stranger asks you what you do, tell them..."I am a writer"! |
| "..Oh, what then can I give Him Empty as I am If I were a sheperd I would bring a lamb. If I were a wise man I would know my part. What then can I give HIM I must give my heart.."{c/} |
Yes, perhaps it is a uncommon person to think about. But I decided not to read my blog enteries from when I first began this diary/blog opinion floating in the universe. My moods and thinking tend to be over the top with joy; and then spiral into "hide-my-head" under the covers refuge. Being Roman Catholic, it is a constant weighing of who I am, where I need to be, what is my calling...and will I ever be as good as anybody else. I read Mother Teresa's book In The Heart Of The World (which is really thoughts and stories). I also read Mother Teresa's book...No Greater Love (which is thoughts and stories). They were both written in 1997. The smaller one "In The Heart of The World" is a more brief except from the larger book, and is meant to be carried in a pocket or handbook. The reason I have been concentrating on these books...is 1) I was hurting and in despair, and I happened to move a pile of papers...and BOOM, one the the books was there. 2) the other book, I discovered cleaning out my bookcase, and BOOM it was there. It must have been a flea sale item because the price on it was .60. I suppose I am humble this day. Yesterday I was very anxious because of trying to get medicine I needed. I had called for 3 days, the pharmacist had called. And finally, yesterday, I just said.."O.k. Lord, you told me to have faith, and so I am not going to worry, because You said have FAITH," So, I stopped to worry. AND 10 minutes later, the phone rang, and the physician's nurse phoned and said everything was fine, my medicine was approved; and yep, 0ne hour later, I picked up the medicine. Now THAT is what they call a "God-shot". No fluke, or accident. A pray, faith....and outcome. Mother Teresa illustrates those many "miracles" in her writings. And she also puts into human terms what each of us can do to GIVE - not with big things - but merely small kind acts. "We will never know how much just a simple smile will do" --- Mother Teresa "Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, there by a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love. -------Saint Therese of Lisieux P.S. The thoughts and writings of Mother Teresa never mention religion - in fact all interfaith bodies contribute to her mission to help the poorest of the poor. These are Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, Parsee, Protestants, Catholics, and any benefactors. Many newlyweds, instead of going to spend their treasures and money, take them to and donate to Mother Tereas's Missionaries of Charity. In this "corny" world of ridicule, It is nice to say "God Loves Me". Say it to yourselves every morning - believe me you will feel joy! |
| O.K. 1) THANK you to northernwrites who so kindly e-mailed me the instructions for using the above long, long row of symbols inside their teeny boxes.......so I might one day be techie educated. She is such a terrific teacher. I bow to her for all editing, grammer, English rules of our language. Personally, I'm a pretty good writer, but don't ask me where the adverb in any sentence is located or why the heck God invented the COMMA......,...,.......,. I find punctuation to be a nuisance..except when I end a sentence. 2) I turned off my computer incorrectly...later turned it on, and a huge danger symbol told me I had messed up! Machines yelling at humans is sooooooo not right. Anyhow, it said it turned OFF my "Active Desktop". Well, glory be....I never knew my desktop was "Active". What does that MEAN??? Did I break the desktop? Will it snooze for three days? I never noticed it was ever active. It surely never loaded spider solitaire very quickly. And it has yet to fully "de-frag" whatever it was meant to de-frag. 3) Please explain why a pair of (most likely) dorky college dweebs invented ....or rather created an entire language devoted to this exercise in "techie" proficiency. Do we need terms such as: tag, desktop, active desktop, floppy disk, html, protocol, modem, browser, cache, zip files, booting, dragging or... LOL, LMAO, or those dots and lines someone can only read by looking sideways! :( Oh...............life is a mystery. Have a great evening folks. And don't forget to feed the cats. |
| O.K. I forgot I had this blog. Today is December 5, 2011. I will be 59 in 2 weeks. I'm not sad, nor depressed nor angry! (But those "happy pills") seem to do the trick. Before the science people invented them...I was a basketcase nobody wanted to open for fear i would run screaming down the street. Thank goodness for medicine which doesn't give you tics, or drooling or puts you in a hypnotic state. O.k...all for me.................. oh, one thing...tried to write on here but font size never increased, no color appeared, and no bold in my letters. 5 years I've been here, and have yet to figure out how the above line of symbols works. I KNOW there's a trick...gotta be. Any friendly soul wish to educate me , much appreciated. Usually I have some comment or opinion --------- my only PLEAD...PLEASE stop discussing the election , which is 8 months away. Newscasters, STOP telling us the same thing every 5 minutes....especially about Poll numbers........,WE DON'T CARE! Am so sick of these suedo political pundiats with absolutely no grasp of how goverments work. I don't care if Romney forgot the legal voting age in the USA. I don't care if he got the date of the Primary election wrong. I can barely find matching socks in the morning. PLEASE Newt Gringinch.......make it esy on yourself....fade away gently. After hearing the news of his leaving his first wife while she had cancer...AND then..leaving his second wife, ALSO while she was fighting for her life. I just found that out a few days ago. Oh Lordy........... Can a man stoop any lower than to abandon another human being while they are in late stages of uturine cncer, and breast cancer (second wife.) I will NOT BELIEVE THAT any MAN who is a member of this Wdc community would EVER, ever.....behave that way. That's a compliment guys! Please have a "fake it, til you make it" week...meaning....act "as if" you have confidence, joyfullness, and a purpose each day. And , bet ya...you'll be smiling, and your friends will ask you..why are you so cheery and happy.. Tell 'em...you read Nancy's blog.........and it is Christmas season. And each of us is meant to be happy! |
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I like your 'own' self.
I'm okay and you're okay. I'm good. I'm okay. I don't want to read one more piece that needs work. I'm going to stick to those perfect pieces that everyone else finds - somewhere. I'm tired of the stress. I'm tired of trying, I'm just tired.