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I want to dig deeper in my writing and expand my horizon with words.Please enjoy thank you |
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Hello everyone, I am attempting to write a blog. I want to dig deeper inot my life for my writing. I want to expand through life challenges either from work, school, kids, husbands,etc. |
| Hey my fellow readers. I know it's been awhile. Been busy with life, kids, work, etc. Lately I've been stressed. Everyone is, right? With me there would be periods of, "I'm okay. I'm feeling alright." Then next thing I know I am down. Just plain ol' down with depression or something related to that. Everyone I'm sure gets that in their life, but why does my experience feel different? I labeled this title, "The Burden of a Lazy Mother," because well, that's me, in general. I'm naturally lazy. I do get the job done and still be there for my kids. But most mornings, if I can't physically get my kids up, they don't go to school. It doesn't happen often but lately it has. My daughter does have a form of sleep apnea which we are working with what the doctor tells us and my son who is a teenager falls asleep late. But enough of that, I feel I am a burden to my kids because I seem to be letting them down. It's not just school, it's their life in general. I'm mostly saying I'm sorry and I will do better. But I don;t. Or maybe I do and I don't realize it. I am trying my best being a married single mom. (Husband is living overseas for military orders). Even though I am used to this, since my kids are getting older, it's like, "wait, what? why?" What happened? It's more difficult to raise kids as they get older. No wonder I am getting more gray hair! So yea, I am lazy and I do feel bad showing my kids that. But everyday I am trying. Even when I feel those internal war all day, I push through for my kids. |
| I've been wanting to get back into photography. It's always hard to remember the settings for whatever lighting. So I tend to give up and use my phone. I don't like to do that because that's the easy and lazy way. Though I will admit my phone can take some nice photos. But that isn't the point. A lot of my friends and family says I take good photos, but honestly I don't think so. Is it my passion? I want to know. But I am scared. Scared to move foward and actaully give it a try. Have you been scared but have tried something new? |
| As I look further into my life and gather other insights on how life is throughout the generations. I often think, what am I passing down to my kids? Soon my kids will be adults and I don't want them to look back and not talk about how their childhood was, what they did, and what they learned from their parents. Would I be passing down on how to be patient, smart, kind, curious, loving, helping, religion, etc? Or am I passing down the negatives on being lazy, talk behind someone's back or be quick to act without thinking? There are many things we pass down without even knowing. As an adult and a mother, I see what my mother sees. And knowing that I still do or say things from what my mother did and said. In a way it scares me how much I act like my mother. Not all was good. There are times I show the bad. I'm human. I will make mistakes, but when it comes to your kids-well that's one thing I don't want to mess up. No matter the feeling if you are even cut out for this parenthood life. |
| In this crazy world we are destined to become something right? Always trying to reach our goal wheather its weight,school, or just life in general. But what about those who are late bloomers? I will admit, I am a late bloomer. I am still searching. Maybe that is because I threw myself into the miltary, got married and had two kids. So it seems to socitey I did that backwards because I recently grdauted college for my assoicates degree. Now I'm onto bachloers. But I am still blooming. |
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