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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| How crazy can it get? As soon as I make one step forward, it seems like I get knocked two back. I set some goals, and according to my schedule I should have time to work things out. I'm looking forward to writing and making better use of my time, and even altered the work schedule so that i could have more time. Then, just when I think it will all finally fall into place, it gets messed up again. I don't know how bad, but it doesn't matter, it's just the fact that it always does. For months now I have been fighting with one person who just insists on taking time off from work. No matter how many days a week I schedule her off, she needs at least one each two-week schedule that she is scheduled to work. I've talked to her, I've changed things this way, then that way. Nothing works. Then I tried something more, giving her five days one week and two the other. Off that is. She works seven days out of fourteen, and I set the schedule up to make sure she would have a big block of time off so that she would not need to mess up the schedule again. We just started that schedule today. I talked to her about it, showed her how it worked, and specifically asked if this was workable, if she needed any changes, or if I should post it. It was all good. Saturday she was suppose to work and today, Sunday. Friday night she ended up in the hospital. I know, things happen, but she supposedly had a stroke. Well, maybe. But she was released and home on Saturday, and is resting for a few days and then can come back to work. I have some doubts. It may be true, but since this person is very dishonest and has pulled one thing after another to get time off, I have some doubts. If it is true, then so be it, but there are already signs pointing towards hoax. We will see. |
| Yesterday I had mentioned that things are looking up. How fast that can change is just amazing. I didn't have a lot of time to write yesterday, but was going to do some today since I had the day off. After finishing my journal, I began to get ready for work. Rhonda had already started getting stuff ready for me, and in putting my phone away she seen a voice message. It had come in the night before, while I was at work. Since we cannot have our phones at work, I stuff mine in my pack, turned off or at least the ringer is turned off. I try to remember to check it after work, but not feeling the best, tired, and since Rhonda was there to pick me up, my phone just did not get taken out. Not until Rhonda checked it yesterday and found the message. The message was from one of the guards, and they had left a voice message. I listened to it, and found that one of her daughters had called to let me know that her mom was in the hospital. So, I had to finish getting ready for work and now Rhonda had to get ready, too. I called back, but didn't learn much. The shift started at eleven, so we had to hustle to get Rhonda in, two hours late for the shift. Had I gotten the message sooner, it would have been fine, but I didn't. I don't understand why no one uses the home phone, and I have talked to everyone about this. Today I get another call, just minutes ago. Again, the daughter, talks to me, not the mom. She is home now, resting for a few day but ready and able to work again by her next scheduled day, Wednesday. I asked what was wrong, and if I heard right it was a stroke. It also sounded like they were checking her heart, so it may have been a heart attack, but she said stroke. I explained I would need a copy of the discharge papers or something indicating she had seen a doctor for her missed work. I also said I needed something to show she is released back to work, so I can keep her on the schedule. She wanted the fax number to send the stuff right to Sioux City. I explained I needed to see them and can fax them, but I need to see them to put her mom on the schedule. I keep getting this feeling that there was nothing more than a hoax to get out of working this weekend. I know, that sounds terrible, but it just keeps taunting me that it is all just to pull the wool over my eyes and get more time off. I hope my gut feeling is wrong, but I will need to see something from her doctor before I will fully accept this. Now, it's time for work, even though I'm off today. If the weather is bad, I'll be back soon, if not, at five. |
| I read a bit more on groups, but I'm not sure yet how to add items and do more in the group. I'm not sure what all I want to do yet, but I do have a couple of ideas to try out. 1) Writing prompts. Make a numbered list of writing ideas. Use the virtual dice to select an idea at random, and use it for an assignment in writing. 2) Transfer my blog Another may be something to log my goal progress. I'm not sure on any of these, but I will look into it more when I have more time. Today, time is the enemy, so not much will get done. Not that it is a bad day, it's actually looking to be a pretty good one. The sun is shining, it's sunny, and I won't have to wait around after work. My mind is still geared towards the past system of Weekend madness. When Rhonda worked at Target, they always messed up the weekends I worked by having her go in later and get done later. It would start most often on Friday. Actually it would begin on Wednesday, but that would tend to be pretty close. We would go in about the same time and get done about the same time. Then, Thursday she would go in about an hour earlier than me and get done about a half hour after me. I would end up waiting for work, then waiting for her. Friday would just be more of the same, but even earlier, so an hour and a half to two hours before my shift would be spent waiting around. After, I would wait about an hour for her to get done. Then Saturday it would hit, full madness. She would not have to be there till about four-thirty or five, but now I need to be there at one. She drips me off, I work till nine and then wait for her to get done, sometime between eleven and midnight. Sunday I have to be back at two, she at three or four, and again, I get done at eight, she at about nine thirty. It seemed like I spent as much time waiting around as I did working. But, not today. Today she is off work, and for that matter, does not work at Target at all anymore. My mind still anticipates this, and it creates mild stress. But I focus and look at the facts, I work from one till nine and will be done around nine-thirty, then drive home. Also, this weekend I do not have to work on Sunday. I'm also going to be making a few changes in the schedule so that I do not have to work till closing every other weekend. All is looking up, if things progress the way they should. Of course, I have no control over that, and things may change before then. We will wait and see. But for now, I will take it one day at a time and try and have some contingency plans available for unseen events. It's time to eat, then get ready for work. I won't be home till about ten, so probably won't get in here again. I do have progress in my story goals. I have a week to develop the story, and have it about half done already. Since I do not have the group set up to record this yet, I'll post it here. "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." |
| I put in a suggestion for a calendar/scheduler in our portfolios or wherever. I did look, but did not see any place to set one up in here, so the next logical thing to do was to suggest they create one. I figured if they (WDC) didn't think this feasible, I could try and make something on my own in my port, kind of like my journal. If not here, then at least download a simple program for on my computer. I made the suggestion yesterday, then left for work. Today I seen a comment to my suggestion and was informed there is such a thing already here, in groups. I was also given a link and directed to the area that instructed on setting up groups, calendar function. It sounded like what I wanted, but in a group instead of a private calendar. Not sure, I thanked the person, and having little time to research this further, inquired in an e-mail if this was alright to use or if it would misuse site resources. I also asked if it was possible to have a group with no members except the founder. I went and ate dinner, came back to find a reply waiting for me, and yes to both questions. Yes it does use some resources, but they are provided as part of my paid membership, so go ahead and use them. Also, yes it is possible to set up a group and not have any members. In fact, I was informed i could even set it for private, so no one can see anything about it. I thanked the person again, then set about creating a group. It was pretty easy to do, and with the tutorial from WDC, I was soon done and setting my first calendar event. I set a goal, of course, for writing. I have been wanting to write, or more truthfully, needing to write. With little time, great demands on my time, and a lot of stress, it just was not happening. I tried just starting something in hopes it would break the block, and I did get an idea to go with. I jotted it down quick, and that was the end of that day. I would have loved to go further on it, but I needed to get to bed and be rested for the next day. The next day came and went, but I did not get in to do any work on my story. As work loomed bigger and bigger in front of me, I realized what I needed to do. I needed to assign myself a writing exercise. Yes, and to schedule it in for working, too. So, the idea progressed into a plan. I would do the same thing I did when i had to write for my English Comp. Class. Only, instead of Mr. Byrn giving the assignment to us, I would give my own. This part I am still not fully decided on, but I'm thinking I will pick out some subjects to write on. I can number them or something and then use the virtual dice to roll for my next assignment. I may even put it as part of my group; an activity. Anyway, I will give myself a writing assignment and log that date. I will also set a goal date for developing the item, a goal date for the first draft, and a goal date for the first edited draft. It will not be fully done, but it will have been edited enough to open it up for reviews and further corrections. That is the idea, but how to set the goals into something I can look at. A daily, weekly or any kind of planner is what I needed. Instead, I have a group with many possibilities yet undiscovered. For now, I have a calendar, I have the ability to edit and post my goals there, and I have many undiscovered possibilities. I hope to advance the system I'm using with time, as I find more ways to incorporate group items into tools to use to help me write. One is the activities I mentioned above. I may be able to use this function to select writing assignments. I may be able to set rewards for achieving my goals. Sure, I would be picking them myself, but they would be automated or something to indicate I have met a goal. I may even be able to use the comments for notes to help me advance this idea. I do not know, yet, but I do know there are possibilities waiting there. And,who knows, perhaps one day, with help from others who also desire to use this system, the group will begin to take on members and help others the same as it is for me. For now, though, one step at a time. The first step; I have my calendar and can set up goals. I did, my first assignment is listed, the date for developing it is set, the date for the first draft is set, and a date for a first edited copy is set. I gave myself a week for each, even though it is a pretty easy story to write. I thought it best to start out with giving myself extra time so that I can achieve and succeed instead of setting myself up to fail. Three weeks from now, or sooner, I shall have a story written, and the first results of my new found group will be out. |
| Back to work today, well tonight. I will leave in a couple hours and hope the roads aren't too bad. We are in another Spring snow storm and getting hit pretty heavy. This has become a weekly event, or very close to weekly. This time around I have not had to drive in early, and that is a good thing. I don't mind the extra hours, I don't mind the shift, but getting woke up at three in the morning by someone who lives thirty miles from work because they can't make it in with a four-wheel drive truck not very pleasant. Especially since that means I have to drive through the same conditions twenty-five miles in a two-wheel drive van. The only real difference is he lives on a main state highway, and I live on a secondary state highway. I have enjoyed the last few days off, even though I have been interrupted with phone calls and had to do some work during my time off. This comes with the title of supervisor and is part of the job. I don't get compensation for anything other than my work shift, but I do get a bit more pay. I'm still adjusting to the difference in time off now, since Rhonda no longer works at Target and that headache has ended. In fact, I still feel some apprehension about this coming weekend, even though it will be much different. It will take some time to adjust. Even so, it has already begun. I actually wrote something during my time off. I have been trying, but not having any luck. I started a new item a few days back. Well I think it was over the weekend, but time is difficult to keep track of sometimes. I didn't get a chance to do much with it on Monday, since I worked early. It was kind of a messed up day anyway. I didn't get in here much at all on Tuesday, but yesterday I decided to write something. I had no ideas, so I just started with the first thoughts that came to mind and went from there. I did get some stuff down, but it was not a story or poem, it was more of an entry for here. So, after I finished it, I copied and pasted it in my journal, so I could keep it, use it, and start again to write something. Even as I did my copy and paste, I had a vague idea enter my mind. I returned to my item, to delete it now that it was saved safely in my journal, and as I did, the idea finished surfacing. It was not very developed yet, but enough to jot down and save for further work. I started typing and even as I did, more ideas fell into place and the story began to take some shape and a subject formed. An adventure in fiction, with a moral in it. A good story for children. I don't tend to write children's stories, but then I don't tend to follow any specific genre. I write what comes to mind, be it poetry, fiction, horror, erotic, and even romance. I enjoy the erotic and the romantic, and had thought about doing more specific writing in these areas, but perhaps that became part of the block. I was trying to direct my thoughts to one single direction, when my brain does not work that way. My thinking is multi-directional, with thoughts in many directions all the time. Therefore, my ideas and creativity are also multi-faceted and when I try and direct them, I instead limit and obstruct them. I should know this by now. I do this with work, things are going on and it takes my full attention. Between doing the actual job, performing supervisory tasks, and dealing with problems, I have to narrow my mental energy in one direction. It drains me, strains me, and if it goes on for too long, it could even disables me. I need a break after a while, some kind of escape. I know this is going to be a part of my life, but I do what I can to avoid problems, and when I can't, I try to quickly solve them. There are those times I cannot, and I have to find ways to take a break, to escape, for even a night or a day. That's part of my job, and I will adjust. But, why do it to myself in areas non-work related? Especially in writing, since that is my main escape? I do it, I think, to try and nurture my creative side. I pick something I really enjoy writing and try to motivate my mind with it. Instead, I need to learn to let my mind go where it wants, to motivate the creative side without restricting where it can go. Then, and only then, can I really be creative in my own natural state. What comes out sometimes even boggles my own mind, but it is who I am. This was the case yesterday, I set my mind on a task to write. I had nothing, no direction, no ideas. Then, as i thought about stopping and moving on to something else, I had a thought. Not an idea but a thought. I thought about an old saying, no time like the present. I wrote it down, and then I thought about who said it. They. Who are they? I began to go in this direction, but I changed it to a direction I wanted to develop. Writing, and why I need to, and why can't I. As my mind opened into developing this line of thought, I opened it up and someplace in the darkness of my unconscious mind, ideas began to form. I believe they often do. It's just bringing them forward into consciousness that gets blocked. As I finished, I seen I needed something different, but it would have to wait for another day. What I could do, however, is use what I just wrote to complete my journal entry and have that done. Then, I would eat supper and relax with my wife for a while before bed. I wanted to watch some Voyager with her, I needed to check weather updates, and I may have to be up at three in the morning, but for now, all this was pushed aside while I wrote out my thoughts and directed my thinking to saving them in my journal. This also pushed them out of the way long enough for an idea to surface into thought from below thought. I tend to think of consciousness as the surface of a lake or see. It is the land, the sky, all things from the surface up. Below the surface lies a world of mystery, the subconscious. So, it surfaced, bobbing like a cork. I could not see all of it, but it was enough to find it and pluck it from the water. As the cork emerged, more if it came into view and the idea took shape. Now, I have that idea jotted down, I have a brief description of all that I seen. Next I need to take this and add color and form, direction and meaning. I need to take it apart and put it back together into a story. I can make it long, I can make it short, but it is now in my hands to shape and develop. I want to write, or more accurately, I need to. It has been a long time and I have a need, so I decided to make it a short story. How short I do not know, it must be told, and it could be micro short or it could be pages short. I do want to develop it in a certain direction, as a children's story, so it will have to be short enough to be read by children. I will also have to carefully choose my wording to fit the vocabulary of children, and I want to add in a moral for children. I have that already, it is being content with what you have. Now I just need to use my imagination and bring it all to life. The next obstacle is just that, bringing it to life. It's like creating a picture, first I sketch it out, crudely. Then I add some details for the background, and then I have to paint it all. Only, I use words instead of paint. the obstacle I foresee is time. I have to go to work now, so I cannot write whenever the urge hits, I have to try and control it to time I have available. This is possible, but it will take effort and time. In the past, I wrote the same way I thought, when ever it hit. It worked, but I had open time. It wasn't always this way, however. There was college, and I had deadlines and time limits, as well as other aspects of life to contend with. I did it then, I can do it again now. In fact, it may even be more productive for me. It's just going through the change that is difficult. I tend to get frustrated and throw in the towel too easy. I must persevere and practice persistence. I have little patients, so I must develop perseverance to take it's place. This is something I have needed to tackle for most of my life. It is why I have so many stories and poems started and unfinished and why I have works that are finished, yet I want to go back and do more. Instead of finishing something undone, I want to take the easy and less frustrating path of finishing those that are already done. Not this time, we will continue the story to it's end. And, perhaps we should even put a time frame in place. A goal to work towards. We should have the first draft done by a date, just like writing for my Comp Class. Lets start with two weeks, or May 1st. We have a week then to get the first draft done, and a week to edit it. Now, where to put my goals down so I can see them daily? I'll find a spot. |
This is a copy and paste job, and the actual writing starts below, at the pencil. I was trying to write something, but I couldn't think of anything to write about. That's been typical lately. So, I started with the first thoughts that came to mind, and went from there. It's more like free writing, but different in that it does at least follow a theme of sorts. I did not know what to give for a title, and I did not think it fitting to call, "writing" in the sence of what I set out to do. Even so, I did write and did not want to delete it, so it goes here. Copy and paste -- there it is. "There's no time like the present", or so they say. Therefore, I shall write something, even though I have no idea yet what. That's the problem, I just don't know what. I've started a blog here, just to keep a journal and to write a little every day. I'm hoping I may come up with some ideas to write about, and of course, it's just nice to journal all the ingredients that go into my days, weeks, months, and years. There are a lot of them now, and that is part of the problem. I could write about that, but it is something I have been going on, and on, and then on some more in my journal; let's not go there. I will point out the biggest factors, time and stress. One is in short supply and the other over abundant right now. It makes getting in here and writing at all, rather difficult at times -- time that is, or should I say, my lack of it. The other, stress, just keeps my mind from going into that place I go when I write. I will also toss in the fact that things are looking up a bit right now, but since there is so much out of my control, I cannot count on that lasting. In fact, a week ago, it was looking much better, but within a few days it took a complete opposite turn. I know, that's life. So, then why is it messing me up so much now? I want to write, but I find I often just do not have the time to do it. Then, I find some time, and have no idea what to write. I can sit and come up with writing ideas all day long, when things are working right. But now? Noda! It's not like my mind shut down, it just wont go to that fantastical place within where real and imaginary combine into a medium I can shape and sculpt with pen and words. I am an introvert. No question about it. I did various tests and exercises in college, and they confirm the same. But, I did not need any test or worksheet to figure it out. No, given the opportunity I would prefer time with self over time with another. In our modern world, however, there is not much time for someone to spend alone. As a child, in Minnesota's north woods, nestled among numerous vacant mines, I found peace and solitude. I could spend an entire day exploring and never see another person. On some occasions, I would see, or here an intruder in my solitude, but it was easy to slip into cover until they passed. I spent long hours alone with my imagination. As a young adult, I found myself still trying to find a quiet reprieve to lose myself into. As time passed, this became more and more difficult. Sometimes it required me to slip away into the darkness of night as well. Of course, that isn't always practical, so I created my own solitude, within. All it takes is some quiet, some time, and some way to write. I turn my thoughts inward and soon I am inside my thoughts, imagination, and emotions. I wander a bit but soon I find something catching my interest and I lose myself to it. This is were it begins, and soon it is flowing strong in my mind, flowing out on paper or screen. After, I find myself refreshed and rested; recharged and ready to face reality again. It is why I am who I am. I can honestly say I am a writer, I need to write, it is as essential as breathing; I cannot function without. Perhaps I would not even survive. Sure, I can imagine a great story, but it does not truly manifest itself without writing it. I can tell a good yarn, too, but it does not nourish my needs unless I write it. I need to write -- I simply must. Is it a need, or is it an addiction? I don't know, I really don't. I don't remember a time I didn't have this need. I can remember writing as far back as memory takes me. There was a fictitious character my brother and I created. It soon turned to a family, and we would share wonderful stories about this person and his family. Of course, being a child, humor was the theme, but even then, it was not enough to tell the stories, I wanted to write them. Since we lived apart, this was often done with letters, the story presented in a comic strip style. There were so many times I would write some silly little story out, just because I had to. I still do. So then why can't I? I know, it's called writer's block. I have been here before. This time, it seems more difficult than in the past. I use to find ways to write anyway. I had found a site called Experience Project and wrote there for the same reason. I could wander the site and find an experience I shared, read some items and soon I would be writing my own. That was pre-WDC, and the site changed, a lot. I have not even been by there for months and have since removed most of my writing, since there is no copyrights at all. I have very limited time, and any time I spend in other sites takes away from spending time here. Besides, I can do the same here, find a prop, read something, and of course, write what ever I desire. I have tried; I read items if I have time. I look at contests, props, and even some of the interactive stories, hoping something will click and it will start again. But it's not working. So instead of writing a short story, a poem, or just a bit of silliness, I'm writing this. I'm not sure what to even call it, but still I'm writing. It's thoughts flowing, and it's something. I will probably not even leave it here, since it is not really anything I feel anyone else would care to read. It's thoughts flowing and should be in my journal more than in here. It's something, but it's not enough, I need the prescription strength writing and this is just some over the counter stuff. Even so, it's better than nothing! |
| Well, this time I did it to myself. It's almost midnight here, and it's tomorrow in WDC so my dates are wrong. I was off work today, and had a good day. I got involved in some stuff I have been putting off and just did not get in here. Now it's time to head off to bed and I remember I need to write in here. Oh well. At least it's not because I'm swamped at work, working from home, and covering other shifts like it has been. |
| It's been a long day, and I'm ready to call it a night. Not a bad day, just long. I was up at 03:00 and started work at 05:00. We had snow and ice all day yesterday, so there was plenty of shoveling to be done. I got it all cleaned up and then the snow removal crew showed up; go figure. It was busy, too. Lots of trucks coming in, and even a few guests. After I got off work I stuck around for an hour to meet with one of the managers and go over some coverage hours, then headed for home. I sat and had coffee and a sandwich with Rhonda. After we took a nap, and I slept nice and sound. She came in to wake me but I was already awake. We played around a bit and then made love. After we sat and enjoyed a cup of coffee and then she started dinner and I relaxed. Now dinner is done, and it's time to enjoy a bit of Netflix before retiring for the night. "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." |
| What a day. Not bad, just a mess out there as far as weather. In fact, it is a mix of all sorts, snow, ice, sleet, wind, rain. And more to come yet, or so they say. I think a lot of it missed us, we are just on the south side of the line. Even so, it is nasty out there. Right now it is warm enough the roads are wet, and it looks like the snow all melted off. If we get what the forecast is calling for, though, it will get worse. They are saying that it will slowly turn to freezing rain and ice, then more snow along highway 212 and north. We are about nine miles south of that, so we could get it the whole thing, or part of it. I also have to drive to work in the morning, and that is right on highway 212. I'll hope for the best and keep an eye on the driving conditions. It was a quiet day, I slept in, and got some much needed rest. I remember I was having a great dream, but it was weird at the same time. I was with a hot girl, and asking her if she enjoyed me feeling her up and making out with her. She said she did, and wanted even more. I proceeded to go down on her for a while, but before right before she had an orgasm, we had to take off. I helped her out a window then crawled out myself. It was quite a ways down, but not so far as we couldn't push out and drop. The grass was soft enough, and wet. she slipped and lost her footing, landing naked in the wet grass. I waited for her to roll out of the way and then dropped beside her, also slipping and landing on my butt. We chuckled, but had no time. I do not remember why, but we had to get up and run up the gentle hill towards some trees. We were both totally nude, but we had some cloths with in a pillow case and we also had our shoes. She ran first and I followed. It was a nice sight to watch as she ran, and soon we were safe inside the line of trees. Further up was a house, and we continued on towards that. She was telling me her friend would let us stay there, and it would be safe. I told her we should stop and dress first. She laughed and said it would be a waste of time, since we would just strip down when we got there so we could finish what we had been doing. "What about your friend, what will she think if we show up nude?" She smiled and said her friend would be wanting some of the same. Then we were in the yard and I woke up. Well, actually, Rhonda woke me, with some kisses, some snuggles and that hot mouth of hers. She just teased me good though and said I'll have to wait till later for more. I'm still waiting, and getting hotter with each passing hour. We had coffee and a light snack for breakfast, then did a Bible study. I was having trouble staying focused today, so we took a break and did a bit of straightening up in the kitchen, then finished our study in there. After, we had a sandwich and i did some work for work and she tinkered around on the computer. I found I have a new boss. I don't know what the deal is, or what happened to the old boss, there was no explanation given in the e-mail. I don't know if they will fill us in or not, but it does not matter. I got along fine with the him, and it was kind of sad to see he was gone. I hope it was on good terms, and for a good reason. Sometimes, maybe it's best to not know. That's been about it for the day, just taking it easy and relaxing. I do have the schedules done, but need to ask Jason about a few days. I think I have it right but just want to double check. If I do have to make any changes, they will be easy enough. Although there is one day that will be a bit difficult, I have already talked to Rhonda about it and have an alternative plan just in case. After I finish in here, I will eat some dinner and watch a bit of Netflix. I do have to figure out bills and finances, but will do that tomorrow after work. I am filling in for the morning guard so will have to be there by five, but will get done at eleven. That's it, and I'm done for the day and have the next day off. So, I better get ready to eat, and then finish a relaxing day relaxing... "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." |
| The weekend has arrived. I am off work this weekend, but still have a few things to do from home. Not much, I managed to keep up on everything through the week, and now it's just wait for hours requested for the second week and then I can finish the next schedule. Even if they change what they want covered, it will only need some minor corrections now. I also have to talk to a couple of guards about direct deposit. One I know is interested, one is not, and the other I doubt, but I'll still update her, just in case. So, today I take Rhonda to work in about an hour, then go talk to the one who is interested so he can get signed up, then it's back home for the afternoon. I will pick her up later tonight after work and we can stop and get a few items we need. It's looking like a pretty nice day, the winter storm is ended finally. It was done officially on Thursday at 19:00 hours, but it continued to snow until sometime last night. Not heavy and not much wind, but enough to add to the mess we have. I would say we ended up with close to thirty inches of snow on the ground, and that is with much of it melting as it hit. I would not be surprised to hear we got over forty inches total. Now, I see another storm system forming, and it may end up here by next week. It is too early yet for them to know for sure, but as of today it's sounding like it could repeat the one we just got done with. All we can do is wait and see. I hope not, I am tired of the snow and ready for Spring. If we don't get Spring pretty soon, we may just spring right into summer. That was the case a couple of years ago, it was a long and cold winter that just would not end. It pushed right up into the latter part of May, then June came and the temperature shot up and it was summer. Not much of a summer as I recall, either. I hope this isn't a repeat of that, it would be nice to have a grand season for work, for fun, and for the gardens. Last year was dry enough, but it was too hot. I worked and May wasn't bad, but by June it was nearing a hundred most days, and lots of sunshine; hot and dry. I didn't mind the dryness but it wasn't good for the farmers. The biggest problem we had was bugs. It was hot, dry and the pests were thick. Flies mostly, but gnats and stuff, too. It was warm enough and wet enough early on to get plenty of earwigs going, too. They are some nasty looking things, but relatively harmless. They just get into everything. They come out thick at night and when it begins to lighten they seek shelter in or under whatever they can find. Every time something would get lifted up, earwigs everywhere, scampering for cover. If they could, they would crawl in it, and again when opened, scampering bugs everywhere. They even invaded the grill! We would open the grill to use it and it would be crawling with them things. It was just a mess but it did not stop there. Once you got past the earwigs and had the grill going, you had to put up with the flies. They were as thick as the earwigs, but instead of crawling everywhere, they landed everywhere. Unlike the earwigs, though, flies bite. It was terrible to try and sit out on the patio, they would drive you nuts landing and crawling all over everything. It seemed you could not escape them at all, not even with repellent. It would work for a little while, then they would be back, pestering and biting, even through cloths. So, the last few years haven't been the best for outdoor activities, but hopefully this year will be better. It was dry enough last year to help out, so maybe this year we can have a nice Spring, and decent summer, and a long and nice Fall. That just leaves a few months of winter, and we can hope for mildness there, too. Now, it's time to get ready to take Rhonda in~ "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." |
| Finally a day off that I don't have to work. So far this week it has been more like work scheduled hours, unscheduled hours, and work from home. I did do some work today, but it was just some odds and ends, nothing official. I typed out a short note to direct where old documents need to be put, and I worked on an updated attendance form. I also did some cooking, with Rhonda. We created a wonderful Oriental style meal, with stir-fry vegetables and a side dish of beef in a garlic and ginger sauce. We served both on a bed of hot egg noodles. It turned out very good. Rhonda also made up a fresh batch of dinner rolls from scratch to have with. I also slept in this morning. We had the alarm set late so we would get at least eight hours of sleep, and Rhonda got up after hitting the snooze once, but I slept later and got up about ten. We lounged for a while, then did a Bible Study. It was nice to have a day of leisure after the last week. After our Bible study I checked my e-mail, double checked the information I had gotten about a situation at work. The information was correct, so no need to reply or do anything. Then I typed up the notice I mentioned and updated the attendance. It was while I was updating attendance that I came up with the idea to create a single spreadsheet with all the guards attendance on it. I'm not sure yet how it will work, but it seems to be fine. I left an area for notes to log individual accounts of days and reasons. After that I assisted Rhonda or she assisted me. Either way, we helped each other create a wonderful meal. We ate in the living room and watched some Netflix while we dined. Now, our show is over, and I came in to log my entry for the day. Next it will be another episode of Voyager and some ice cream. That should take us up to bed time. Tomorrow I want to be up earlier. Rhonda has to work at eleven, and I want to go in and take care of some business. We now have direct deposit, and there are two guards who are interested. One called about checks and I filled him in with what he needs to do. The other works tomorrow, so I will drop Rhonda off and then fill him in. Then it's back home and later I will go pick Rhonda up. We may do a bit of shopping, but that is uncertain right now. Sunday I want to spend as another quiet day at home, since we both are off again. I work on Monday and Rhonda works on Tuesday, then we may have Wednesday off together but I am not positive without looking at the schedule. That's it for now, have a nice night. |
| This is just nuts. All week long, with yesterday being the most restful day so far this week, and that was still a full and busy day. Today I was up by three and off to work to fill in, came home, and am now ready to turn around and go back in. At least the storm let up, and the roads are better. That's right, on top of everything else, we have been in the center of a huge winter storm that hit on Tuesday and is just now ending. I will have to try and write more, but for now, I got no time -- gotta go~ And just as the week began, so it ends. Tonight is my last night of work for the week, since I switched with another guard. At least is is suppose to be my last night this week; it's not over yet. I was scheduled to work until ten-thirty, but usually get out before this. Not tonight. I clocked out at eleven. Why, because I was up since three this morning and wanted to get home. So long as nothing comes up, I am at least not on site for the rest of the week. I will have to do some work from home, but even that is minimal, as of now. So, I'm tired, and ready for bed. I need sleep like the Donger need food~ |
| This is my entry for 04/10/2013 but I did not get in here until now. It was a more relaxed day compared to the last few, but it was still pretty busy and full. I did sleep in this morning, but not real late. Even so, I enjoyed a much needed rest and a quiet morning with no calls, no problems and no stress. I did have some work to do, and Rhonda went back to bed for a while so I used that time to work on a few things. Again, compared to the last few days, it was pretty mellow. I did work tonight, and even that was quiet and slow, do to the storm. Even so, there is a shadow hanging over me with the possibility of having to go in to open if the morning guard cannot get in. One more day of winter storms and then it should be done. It's been hanging in for the last two, but not much for any real bad weather so far. Tonight, however, it is snowing pretty hard. I would like to write more, but it's late, I'm tired, and I need to get to bed. |
| This will be quick, and I do not know if I will get back in here or not. I'm at Target, and my battery is about done for. The computer will shut down anytime. I hope to get plugged in, and write a bit more from the van, but not sure if that will work or not. I have to fill in for a sick guard tonight, we are in the midst of a big winter storm, and I may have to drive Rhonda home then turn around and come right back to open for another guard if he cannot make it in. I have a lot to write about, but no time and no power. Hopefully the later can work out, but if not at least I made it in. Mark up one for the home team, I'm back in for a bit. I have the converter in the van to thank, it's powering me up and charging the battery. I'm parked outside Target, but the wifi still works pretty good, and I have a bit of time before Rhonda is done with her training. So, what to write? Well there is much on my mind. Fist of all, I had visions of things getting better. I would be on the first shift, Monday through Friday, in at five out by eleven and have more time. Someone was quitting and I would take his place. Secondly, Rhonda would take mine, so more time for us at home to do our things, the same amount off together, and an increased income. Now, he is staying, wants to hold his shift, and it's all chaotic again. Another problem I hoped this would help with is the one I have today and had yesterday; duty calls. Yesterday, my day off, I worked over ten hours without pay. I also put about a hundred miles on without compensation. Then to top it off, a couple more hours and another fifty miles because of my own forgetfulness. Of course, working all day, up early and little sleep didn't help me focus and remember, but still, it was my blunder. Today it started at 9:00 this morning. Again, up to the phone, but at least I had a bit more sleep. More good news, the person quitting is not quitting, but that is not really good news, since everything is already in motion for him to leave. A lot of hours and energy burned up for nothing now. Also, a lot of rescheduling and energy in keeping him on, so more work. Then, even before I get that done, I have another call, a sick guard. Sure she is sick, I'm pretty sure it's sick of the weather. Last night she was fine, today the big winter storm hits and she is out sick. No matter, except that I will have to work her shift tonight, drive fifty more miles in nasty weather, and still maybe have to come in tomorrow morning at 5:00 if the rads are bad. So, Monday, ten plus hours and Tuesday, another ten at least. Out of these, five paid but none scheduled. Is it any wonder I'm burning out? So, what will come of it all? That will have to wait until I have time to think it out, and have time to write about it. |
| April 8th, not the ninth, it is Monday the eighth today. Well it was when I wrote this, our time. It is now 16 after and I wanted to correct the date. OK, I was wrong. I thought it was over and I would have a bit more time. I knew there would be some days worse than others, but all in all, better. Then next month, it would improve even more. Not so. It should have, and it should, but then again, things can go wrong. It was different, but still I have no time. Next month, who knows, maybe yes, maybe no. See today I have a day off. Only I also have anew hire training today and tomorrow; my wife. I do not train her the first four to six hours, that is done by the store management. So, I really would not have to even go in today, just stay home and enjoy some down time. I was up late last night, but not real late. I suppose around one or two I made it to bed. At eight this morning, I woke to the phone. It was the home office, they needed some guards times for work, it's payroll. This has been going on for weeks, months even. I have tried to get everyone to do this right and update me if they cannot clock in our out, right away so I can update the home office. I thought I had made progress, now I don't know. It could be the personnel, or it could be the clock in system, I don't know. I do know I had to jump up and get that done, first thing. Then, I see an email from my boss. Seems some of the paperwork I sent for the new hire did not arrive or was misplaced. This was the stuff I had faxed last week, and perhaps some of the pages stuck together. Also, there was a new item needing filled out, direct deposit. I also seen that the federal forms were needed. I had sent them last week as well, but by U.S. Mail. I gathered the needed paperwork, I scanned and saved PDF's, I wrote a short email, and I attached the paperwork, then clicked send. Next, I called my boss and explained that I had sent the other forms by mail. He still needed them to get the now hire n the system since she started training today. I filled it all out again and had her sign and date them all. Good thing this new hire lives here. By now, it's time for her to go in for training. So, I grab my paperwork and drive her in. My plan is to fax these documents then return home for a while. On the way in, my boss calls, the email arrived but he could not open the documents. Of course I did not have them with me. I told him I would send the federal stuff and then send the others later. He said that was ok, but as soon as I could. I decided to run back and get the rest after dropping Rhonda off. So, she went in and I sent the first fax. She had needed to use the bathroom, and when she came out, the person who would train her was there. He had a meeting today, so he had me start her training while he attended the meeting. After, he took over and I had just enough time to run home and go back in to fax it all. But I had it done, I went over a few other things and then it was time for Rhonda to get done and we could drive home. However, I needed to talk to the guard just coming on, so I went around back and took care of that. After we stopped, grabbed a few items for dinner and came home. I took care of some files and paperwork while Rhonda fixed dinner. It was just about time to eat when I realized I had left stuff at work that I needed. Not wanting to do this all over again tomorrow, I ran in a third time, got my documents, folder, and anything else I needed and came home. Now it was time to eat, or more accurately, past time. So we ate and then it was time to watch a spot of Netflix, then it was time for bed, but I needed to get in here yet. Well, I did and now I have to run. |
| I got no time; gotta go, gotta go! I just have time to start this, so the date will be on for today. I am running late, didn't get up till ten this morning, but then it was a late night again. Yesterdays blog covers it all quite well I think. Today Rhonda is between jobs and gets to stay home, that saves a little. Tonight, I won't have to wait around an hour or more for her to get done with work, that saves even more. I should be home much earlier than typical, and that will be the end of this chaos for me. Tomorrow starts a new chapter for her, and a new paragraph for me. The story is getting better. For now, I have to run~ Home again, and it was a fair day. Even so, I'm glad it's over. I'm also glad I got out early tonight. Actually, I stayed a bit late for a Sunday night, it was just past eight-thirty when I left, but I did not have to wait an hour or more for Rhonda. Now I'm home, ready to eat a bit and watch some Netflix. Work was fine, but some people really need to make up their minds and then stick to the plan. Perhaps I will write a bit about this tomorrow. Have a swell night. |
| The last day of madness. It comes every other Saturday, followed of course by chaos on Sunday. Its beginning is Friday night, but it does not manifest until Saturday. With the morning comes the onset of madness. Every other weekend, but even the sane weekend is filled with chaos. Not anymore, not like it was. Today is the last day of the madness, tomorrow the chaos will follow, but it will be greatly decreased. It will also mark a new beginning, both of the week, and in our lives. Rhonda is at the heart of all of it. She has done well, but it is taking a deep toll upon her. Deeper than on me, since she is in the midst of it all. I am caught up in it through her, and so I also am greatly affected by this, but not as much. Similarly, she will more deeply and quickly affected by the change, but I, in relationship, will also feel these affects shortly after. She works at Target, and in the beginning, she was open to any and all hours they desired. I was out of work, staying home and holding things down. I was able to work, but unable to do many of the things a job would require, do to some health issues. Medical treatment and therapy helped, but it was a long road back for me. Rhonda had been forced into a change of careers, and took a job at Target after she was unable to work as a CNA. She only made half the wages, and only part-time. So, she was willing and able to work anytime she could, and often came close to full-time hours. Last summer I went back to work. I had been looking for a position I could fill since the summer before. Last spring, almost one year ago, I found a spot that I could do, and found I enjoyed my new career. It was part-time, and it worked out pretty well. About the same time, Target began having Rhonda go in early mornings here and there. It became regular for her to work late one night, then have to go in early the next morning, a pain for her since she lives twenty five miles away. It also began to conflict with my schedule. See, up to then, she most often worked between the hours of one in the afternoon and ten at night. I worked six in the evenings until ten at night. the morning shift was difficult, but it only was one day a week. Then they started letting her out at nine or sooner, but had her going in around one. Time was wasted in waiting, her for me, me for her on these days, but we could do nothing about it, since we have one vehicle and had to ride together. The vehicle broke down, and we had to purchase another, so now we have a payment each month. We knew it would be tight, but doable with our combined hours. They cut hers. Soon into winter, I was also cut back, we now closed an hour earlier. With Christmas approaching, Target began to keep Rhonda till closing, around ten. Now it was me who was done a little after nine and she worked to ten. Then it was eleven, then twelve and this held till after Christmas. We thought it would go back to nine for her, but they would do one night at nine, one at ten, one at ten-thirty, and then Saturday would be eleven. At the same time, they had her come in later and later, so even though she was staying later, she was getting less and less hours. We watched our savings, meager as it was, vanish. She barely made enough to cover the gas and a few groceries. But, we held out, waiting for spring. Then, a couple of seeks ago, I returned to working to ten. They cut her back to nine and eight. However, on every other weekend, I have to work from one to nine and then Sunday is two to eight. This is the point of madness. Friday nights she would work till ten-thirty. We would be late getting to bed, then late getting up and rushing to get to work on time. She would not start until three or four, so a long wait for her. Then I get done at nine and she not till eleven. We come home and again get to bed late, get up late, and in the process are lucky to log six hours of sleep a night during the weekend. Sunday comes and we are tired, rushed and push ourselves to work. I get done at eight, but she is not done till nine-thirty. In the process, she finds she is working about twenty hours or less a week. The next weekend comes, the one I do not work, and she is home by nine or ten on Friday, gets done by nine or ten on Saturday, and has Sunday off. We discussed it and seen that if they even just rotated her weekends, we would do fine. She talked to them, can't do it. She changed her hours so that she would start later and get done sooner. Two until ten, that was it. They could not do it. In fact, they told her if she tried, it would not work out, but she would end up with less than twenty hours a week. She told them, leave it be as is then. They told her thank you, and then cut her hours later in the afternoon, but put her on even more late nights. But only on the weeks it would disrupt my schedule. The opposite weeks, she would have four days off. Also, even though she left the schedule as is, they still cut her to less than twenty hours a week. So, she gave them two weeks notice and today is the last day she works for Target. Last night she got home about eleven, we got up about nine and had our normal six hours of sleep. Tonight she will work to eleven, and we will again get little sleep. I will bring my laptop in and entertain myself for an hour and a half, to two hours waiting for her, we then come home, get another six hours of sleep and do it all over again. Only, this time, I will go to work at two, as normal, she will be unemployed and stay home. At eight I will close up and be out of there by a eight-thirty at the latest and come home. I will be able to get to bed at an earlier time, and then have Monday and Tuesday off. I will have to go in on Tuesday to see if the new hire has completed all required training, passed the exam and can start working as a security guard. I know Rhonda will do fine. Our schedules will still take up a lot of our time together, but at least there will be few if any conflicts. I know, I will be her boss and I do the scheduling. next month, I take the opening shift, she takes mine. I start at five in the morning, she gets done around ten-thirty at night. We will have a few hours in between to enjoy, as well as every other weekend. It will be more time for us, less stress and end to the madness and the chaos we live with now. For her, it ends today, for me, it ends tomorrow. Monday she starts training and we begin a new chapter in our lives. |
| Another one of those days with not much time to get in here and write. It's officially Saturday in WDC, but still Friday here in South Dakota; well for twenty minutes anyway. I had today off, but worked on some items I needed to get done. I finished up about eleven, when Rhonda got home. We went over a few things and then she went to get into something comfy and I came in here to write a little. One more day, then she is done at Target. Next week she starts a new job, but the schedule will be so much better. I hope she enjoys her job and gets along well with everyone. I know she will, but I'm not sure if the other workers will get along with her. After all, she is the bosses wife. It was a crazy week, Monday and Tuesday I worked on site, and also had a lot to do at home. Wednesday through today I was off, but had some at-home work to do each day. Not a lot on Wednesday, I put quite a bit off till later so I could send one day off with Rhonda. Yesterday I put a lot off again, so I could get out ice fishing one last time with Len, and so today it was time to get the rest of it done. I waited with it till after Rhonda left for work, got just about everything done, and only have to laminate a few things tomorrow before work. It was looking like her last day would be as messed up as any, but I called the guy who works tomorrow morning and asked if he could work an extra hour and a half for me. He agreed, so at least I get to go in a bit later. Still, Rhonda will have an hour wait before she starts work, and I will have at least an hour and a half wait for her after I get done. Sunday will be better, she doesn't work. Monday and Tuesday she trains in the afternoon, and Wednesday she trains with me for closing. So, we will not have a day off together till next Sunday. So, I better get done in here and go spend a little time with her before bed. Have a nice night~ |
| Another day down. They seem to fly by so fast some times. For that matter it's been that kind of week. Busy all day Monday and Tuesday. I would have gotten things done today, but Len wanted to go ice fishing, so I took a break and sat out in the fish house. I didn't catch anything but it was kind of a nice break. Who am I kidding, I sat out on a padded bucket and got further behind in work and didn't accomplish a damn thing. I would have preferred to go back over to the spot we had been fishing most of the winter, and done quite well at. But, Frank goes out on the east side every night and gets his limit of Walleyes, so we left the good spot to go sit and not catch squat. It's funny how many people I hear say the same thing, someone is always going out, morning, noon, or night, and getting their limit. It is never the person your talking to, but someone they know or someone they heard about. And, of course you never see any of these fish, and in this case, we never even see Frank. I don't know Frank, but Len does. funny how frank goes out every night and gets his limit and we are in the same area and never see Frank. It's probably true, just a bit exaggerated. Frank is not out at the lake, he is in South Fork, drinking beer and tipping the strippers. He has his two beers, his "limit" and then goes home. Not for sure, but my guess. Well, it's late, I'm tired, and I'm going to bed. "Reading soothes the soul, writing sets it free." |
| Well, it's another day with no time. Yesterday I worked from home, then went to work, today is a repeat and running even later. I will have to write this out later, after work. I get done at ten-thirty, and should be home around eleven. By the time I get to today's entry, it may well be after midnight. So, in order to have the date right for today, I wanted to start this. |
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