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Life is a journey - come along for the ride! |
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Life is a journey full of twists and turns. Some are good, some are bad - and some leave you guessing. This is my journey through life. I hope you can relate. Some of the entries here will be positive, some will be negative. However, I am going to be completely honest in this blog - this is the real me. This is who I am. The experiences here helped shape and mold me into the person I have become.
So come on in, sit a spell. Get to know me - the real me. Laugh with me. Share my tears. Get mad with me. Join me on my journey through life, and maybe...just maybe, you won't have to make the same mistakes I did or you can be encouraged by something you read here. Bonnie Ray |
Hey Loyal Readers!! Let me first apologize for my extended absence in September. Life has taken another crazy turn, and now I am a Chapter President for our local Chapter of the National Federation for Families. Our organization works to provide peer support services, advocacy and collaboration to help families who have mental health challenges or addiction challenges. I am super excited for the work that we will be doing, but who knew that running a new nonprofit startup would entail so much work? Geesh!! No wonder I'm going to bed exhausted! But I am also loving every minute of what I am doing, and I am learning so much!!!!! I am learning about everything from grant proposals, setting up a board of directors, local community resources, to creating a nonprofit business plan and collaborating with local, state and national groups. Even learning about putting together the proper HIPAA forms and policies to creating training and staff handbooks has been challenging, but well-worth the time! And that's just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to starting this chapter up!!! Hopefully, we will have a website soon as well as a Facebook page - and when we do, I'll be sure to share the links here! Anyway, just wanted to check in and let y'all know what's up - Once my schedule gets a bit more flexible, I am hoping to spend a bit more time here on WDC!! Love y'all, Rhoswen |
So, in addition to all of the latest happening, I have returned to Bible College and finished one class. I have two others I am working on, so I have been busy with that. As well, between working, trainings, and dealing with all the other issues I have dealt with, I decided that now would be a good time to re-evaluate my goals - where I want to go in life, and how I want to get there. It's obvious that my goals have changed, and so have my priorities. However, over the next few weeks, I will be taking a long, hard look at the goals I've set for myself. Some will be removed, some will be adjusted, and some will become more of a priority. I say all of this because one of the classes I am currently taking is on Life Coaching, and it talks about this exact thing - only in terms of helping others do what they want to do. I thought about it and decided that I could practice what is being taught by using those same techniques on my goals. Once my goals have been set up, I will more than likely share them here. I can't wait to see where life is taking me, and how I can accomplish everything I'm setting out to do. One thing I am working on is a YouTube channel where I discuss what it's like as a parent raising a child who is on the autism spectrum and also has multiple mental health diagnoses that affect daily life - the struggles, the triumphs, the emotions, and everything in between. Once that is set up, I will post the link here so y'all can subscribe or watch the videos. Until next time, Rhoswen |
Okay, I know - it's been over a year since I've written in my blog here on WDC. My bad. You know how they say life sometimes gets in the way? Yep, that pretty much sums up what I've been dealing with. However, I am back now, albeit maybe not so often as I used to be. But enough on that, let me share with you the latest juicy details. I currently, as of August 21st, 2021, have joined the ranks of the unemployed. No, I didn't get fired. I quit. Let me explain myself before you think I'm just out for the unemployment....I quit as a matter of conscience and because I took a stand. You see, my son Robert has been diagnosed with multiple mental health disorders and is on the Autism spectrum. Because of this, he does have times when he melts down mentally, emotionally and behaviorally, even with medication, counseling and the like. He also has a neurological condition that contributes to these problems. The 21st of August was no different in that aspect. He was having multiple panic attacks, his neurological condition was causing issues with behavior, and he couldn't handle the idea of me going outside, let alone going to work for 6 hours. I called out of work, and was told by my boss: "Your personal issues with your son's mental health are completely and totally uncalled for. I am taking you off the schedule permanently until your son is cured of his behavior problems. When that happens, you can call me and I will put you back on the schedule." At this point, I tried to contact my area manager, who is also HR, on his cell phone requesting to speak with him. However, he made no attempt to contact me or to respond to my request. After praying about it, I realized I could not, in good conscience, go back to work for a company that treated their employees like that. In the meantime, I had already begun training as a Certified Peer Support Parent (CPS-P) through the Georgia Parent Support Network. This training and certification would allow me to provide peer support to other parents who are going through similar challenges with their children. Training was completed yesterday, August 27th, 2021. I also contacted the Georgia chapter president for the National Federation for Families about starting a Federation Chapter in my county of residence, since we currently do not have one. I am pleased to say that I will be receiving a call sometime in the next week to get more information, and hopefully get started on this project. In the meantime, once my CPS-P certification arrives in the mail, I will be able to start putting applications in at agencies that offer peer support services. I also started my own business called Tiger Princess Jewels. For more information on this adventure, please visit my Facebook page or my website www.tigerprincessjewels.com . Or you can always shoot me an email. I love what I do with this business - and who wouldn't? It's so much fun! So now you know what's been going on with me and why my writing has taken a back seat. Just remember, as God so mind-blowingly reminded me, when He closes one door, He will always open another door, albeit sometimes slowly. But His timing is always perfect, and I am so thankful to be on this journey called life. I have learned so much, but I sill have so much to learn. The way I figure it, the day I stop learning is the day they'll lay me in the ground. So until next time, remember I love y'all and I will be thinking of you as I embark on this new adventure!!!!  |
So, I am back to my normal self – finally. It only took me three months after my surgery to get to this point. Who knew it would take me that long to fully recover? Physically, I recovered within three weeks. But to get my usual energy back seemed to take forever. Now that my energy level is back to what it used to be, I am finding that this quarantine with the whole COVID-19 pandemic is allowing me to get things done that I fell behind on during recovery and things that I had put off for years. At this point, I really feel accomplished because of how much I have gotten done. Now that I have managed to get so much accomplished with my home, it’s time to start working on my writing once more. I have set my writing goals for this year, and I am going to do everything I can to accomplish them. I just wanted to take a minute to let y’all know that if you change your perspective, this quarantine is not all bad. There can be good that comes out of it – but you have to make the decision to see the good. Of course it has its downside, but if you concentrate on the good things, you may find that at the end of it all, there was more good than bad. Just a thought. Until next time, Rhoswen |
It's been a long beginning to the 2020 year. So many setbacks, so many disappointments, so many changes. However, I am finally physically back to my usual self with exception to still fighting to keep my energy level up. Other than that, I am back to normal again. However, I still haven't worked on my goals since I got better. It just seems to be overwhelming - so I've decided to cut back on a few of my goals for the year. Instead of having 10 goals, I am only going to concentrate on 5 goals. I'm still working out the details of what those goals are and what they will entail, but currently, I am just trying to catch up on stuff that I fell behind on. Through all of this, I want to thank all of my loyal supporters for having my back and taking over my activities while I was on the mend. Y'all have been superheros to me. Y'all take care and I will try to update again soon. |
Let me start out by saying 2020 started out to be great! I was on track with my writing, on track with my Bible studies and Bible college, on track to reach all of the goals I had set forth. Then it all fell apart. Not because I gave up, but because some pretty big medical issues decided that this was the perfect time to hit. Ugh!  On January 10th, I ended up having to have emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder due to inflammation and stones that the doc said were about the size of a US quarter. Big, bad, ugly. I figured, as the doc told me, that by the 13th, I'd be back to a somewhat-normal schedule. I couldn't have been more wrong. On the 13th, I ended up back in the ER with pneumonia. Okay, so a few days of antibiotics and I'll be back on my feet. Wrong again. On the 16th, I was back in the ER. The pneumonia was gone, but they said I had stomach ulcers. More medications, more money spent that I didn't have. Let me stop here and give a shout out to my son, Robert, who during this whole ordeal, has been a real trooper - moved a mattress to the living room (since I was sleeping on the couch cause I couldn't lay flat,) so he could be nearby if I needed him. And I did - more times than I care to count. At 13 years old (he turned 14 on January 19th,) he showed more maturity, more initiative and more empathy than I have ever seen out of a 13/14 year old boy. He definitely is becoming quite the young man, with a true heart for other people, and I couldn't be more proud of him. Okay - now back to what I was dealing with. I missed a grand total of a week at work, and then was only able to go back part time, 4 hours a day, 3 days a week. Finances are really gonna suck for the time being. I figured that by now, I'd be able to keep up on things here at WDC such as "Destination: Goal Zone"  and "Children of God" and "Invalid Item" . Wrong - again.So far, it has been a true battle just to keep my energy long enough to let a select few people know what's going on, and to ask them to keep everyone else updated on me. Even now, 17 days after my emergency surgery, I still sleep more often than not, get tired very easily, and pretty much just lay around. Throughout all of this, though, I've learned something. I wasn't willing to slow down or take a break. So God did the one thing He knew would force me to stop, breathe and rest. Don't get me wrong - I am not saying that God caused this - more like He allowed it to happen to force me to slow down. And to be honest, I am thankful for the break. So, to all of my followers, thank you so much for your patience and prayers! Remember to work on your goals, but take the necessary breaks to take care of yourself, too. Cause if you don't, God just might make you take a break like He did me! |
Okay, so I am sure you are wondering about the title I gave this blog entry. Let me start out by saying that 2019 has been an absolute EPIC year. My son finally came back home. And yes, the adjustment has been a major struggle, but so well-worth-it! However, 2019 also left me with unmet goals, a depression I haven't been able to shake, and more stress than I'd care to admit. To be honest, I allowed all the crap in 2019 to defeat me and knock me to the ground. I allowed all the b.s. to kick my butt. My faith has taken a major hit this year, and I'm not really sure why. Yes, I still believe. However, the close relationship I once took joy in every day has become less close. Yes, I admit it - I'm the one who made that happen, but it also didn't happen all at once. I didn't realize it was happening until it had already happened, which left me feeling like a failure. My writing has been almost non-existent compared to previous years. Again, I take full responsibility for this because I lacked the self-discipline to actually sit down and write every day, whether I felt like it or not. And as far as those goals I set so many months ago? Yeah, well...I haven't even reached the first one yet. However, that is also my fault - lack of self-discipline, poor time management and straight up depression have all managed to kick my butt this year. However, all of that is about to change. I am no longer going to sit on the sidelines as the devil beats me down into depression and fear of what might happen. I am not going to allow myself to lack the self-discipline to reach my goals. I am going to do what God has called me to do, regardless of the cost. 2020 will be my year - my all out year - my year to take my life back! I have 10 goals set for 2020, and I know that if I apply myself to them, there will be no stopping me. I must reach these goals - and I will. They are the same goals I set for myself for 2019 a few posts back in my blog. However, the determination I have to reach those goals has increased. My faith has returned. My self-confidence has made a comeback, and now, so will I. So, if you are struggling like I have been, let this be an encouragement to you - YOU CAN DO IT! Just get your head back in the game, your heart right, and take it one step at a time. And don't be afraid to fall sometimes. Sometimes it's in the fall that we learn something that allows us to get back up - stronger than we were before, more determined than before and ready to face the challenges that will no doubt come our way. |
Okay, I must admit, I've been going through a bit of depression lately. I let myself become lazy and gave up on myself for awhile. But now, it's time to turn over a new leaf. It's time to pick myself up off the ground and go after what I want. I'm tired of letting life stand in the way of me reaching my goals. So, I have gone through and reassessed my goals. I've deleted one goal and replaced it with a different goal. I've reset the other goals so I have a better chance of reaching them. One of the ways I am turning over a new leaf is to try to become healthier - and so far today, I had one cigarette at 10 am EST. It is now 8:45 PM and I have not had another cigarette. I am bound and determined not to buy any more or to smoke anymore. So here is to a new me, new goals, new attitude and a new determination to make the best of my life. Thank you all for sticking by me! Rhoswen  |
Okay, so just to update everyone, I have had to re-set my goals....again. Have you ever noticed how sometimes you just need to re-set your goals or the timelines you have set for your goals? I thought I would be able to accomplish everything by the end of 2019, but I am now realizing just how unrealistic that is - so I am hitting the re-set button and changing my end dates to the end of 2020. That will give me more time to reach my goals, which will take a bit of the stress off of me. And by taking some of the stress off of me, it will take some stress off my son, which will make for a better relationship between the two of us. I ask one thing of my loyal supporters - please pray for myself and my son - that I can accomplish these goals, and that I don't run my son off in the process...but that we can have a better relationship and we can begin to build a better life together where both of us make progress. Thank you all for your patience and prayers - they mean so much! Write on, my friends. |
| Okay, so I was supposed to update my blog two days ago, but so far, I haven't been able to keep up on one single goal I've set for myself. I hate it when life gets in the way and I can't do what I've set my mind to do because it makes me feel like I've failed. Maybe by setting too many goals, I've set myself up to fail from the start - who knows? And then I feel like giving up completely because I lose sight of what I can do. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, it sends me into depression, but I'll always bounce back - I always do. |
| Okay, so I am a goal-setter, determined to reach certain goals by the end of 2019. So, I have compiled this list of goals and the steps to reach these goals....am I being too specific? Probably. Am I being unrealistic? Maybe. Am I being completely too hard on myself? Yup - but that's how I roll. I know it's kinda hard to read, but I couldn't figure out how to edit the outline form without having to completely retype it...I apologize for that. So, with that being said, here are my goals for the rest of 2019: 1. I want to build my faith stronger in God. Begin Date: June 30, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Build a stronger prayer life. i. Set aside time each day to pray and listen to God. ii. Write down my prayers/praises and post them on my prayer wall weekly. iii. Pray over prayer wall daily. b. Study my Bible every day. i. Set aside time each day to read and study God’s Word using my Life Journal. 1. Keep my Life Journal updated each day. a. For every 25 entries to my Life Journal, reward myself. c. Spend time in praise and worship every day. i. Set aside time each day for praise and worship in the morning before work. ii. Set aside praise and worship time each night before I go to bed. 2. I want to tithe/offer obediently to God and begin to save money. Begin Date: June 30, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Begin to tithe and offer to God obediently. i. Put together a financial plan of action that automatically includes tithes and offerings as part of the budget. ii. Stick to the budget and cut unnecessary expenses any way I can to make sure I have the money for tithes and offerings. b. Begin to put small amounts of money aside for fun stuff, emergency fund and savings. i. Set a goal of how much I want to save. ii. Start out small, and build up until you reach a certain percentage of income going into savings. iii. Put the savings part into the budget and treat it like a bill that has to be paid. iv. Consider opening a savings account to put the saved money into that is separate from other money. v. Reward myself with something small for every $100 saved. 3. I want to get into the habit of writing every day. Begin Date: June 30, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Write a poem a day for 100 days and repeat the process each time you finish the previous 100 poems. i. Reward myself somehow for every 50 new poems written. b. Continue to work on my blog, Life Is a Journey. i. Write and post an entry on the 10th and 25th of each month. 1. For every 6 entries written and posted, reward myself somehow. c. I want to finish my first compilation book of poetry. i. Determine which poems you would like to include in book. ii. Determine the order the poems should appear in the book. iii. Make sure the poems are edited for flow, rhythm, clarity and word usage. iv. Name the manuscript. v. Type up and format the manuscript. vi. Print the manuscript. vii. Begin searching for places to submit the manuscript. viii. Begin the submission process. d. I want to finish the final draft of my Mystical Realms novel. i. Find the first draft of story along with all notes. ii. Make sure all character profiles are completed. iii. Edit each chapter and either shorten or lengthen chapters as necessary for them to be of similar length. iv. Complete first re-write. v. Edit the 2nd draft. vi. Complete the 2nd re-write. vii. Edit the 3rd draft (i.e. the final draft.) 4. I want to completely clean and organize my home. Begin Date: June 30, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Pick one room a week and completely clean and organize it. i. List each room that needs cleaning and organizing. ii. Prioritize and list everything that needs to be done to the room that week and start with the most important tasks. iii. Enlist Robert’s help. iv. For each room completely cleaned and organized, reward myself and Robert. 5. I want to build a stronger, happier relationship with my son. Begin Date: June 30, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Begin to have a family fun night every week. i. List activities that we both enjoy that we can do on our family fun night. ii. Pick a night of the week and choose an activity we can do together that we both enjoy. b. Do something outside the home every week with my son. i. Make a list of places we can go and things we can do outdoors that we both enjoy. ii. Pick a day of the week we can get out together each week. iii. Pick a place or outdoor activity each week (preferably free) that we can go together and enjoy ourselves. c. Encourage open and honest communication with my son. i. Choose which things I am not willing to budge on and set the expectations and consequences up ahead of time. ii. Post the expectations and consequences up on the wall. iii. Use encouraging words. iv. Listen more than I speak. v. Keep a positive mindset and attitude. 6. I want to get the ministry that God laid on my heart up and going. Begin Date: July 1, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Get the bylaws finalized. i. Write a rough draft of the bylaws. ii. Find an attorney who can go over the bylaws and make sure they are legal. iii. Write and approve the finalized bylaws. b. Get the mission statement finalized. i. Write out the rough draft of the mission statement. ii. Edit and write the final mission statement. c. Begin to search for a board of directors. i. Check into the resources given to me with regards to searching for board members. ii. Interview and select the first group of board members. iii. Set up a first meeting with the board and go over everything. d. Work on getting the 501(c)3 designation. i. Find out what the requirements are to get this designation. ii. Begin to meet the requirements. iii. Apply for the designation. 7. I want to get my associate’s degree in Bible College. Begin Date: June 30, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Finish the classes I am currently enrolled in. i. Get back to Bible College and review the work already done. ii. Take each class and finish the ones I’m enrolled in currently. b. Track and take the classes I need to take. i. Find out and write a list of the classes still needed for my associate’s degree. ii. Prioritize those classes and take them. iii. If money is required or other requirements are needed, make sure to set up a plan to save the money and get the requirements met in order to finish getting my associate’s degree. 8. I want to become a healthier person so it’s easier for me to take care of my son and my responsibilities. Begin Date: July 1, 2019 End Date: Ongoing a. Quit smoking. i. Set a specific date to quit smoking and quit on that date. ii. Speak encouragement to myself and tell myself I can do it. iii. Find other things to do to relieve stress instead of smoking. iv. Begin now to cut down how much I smoke until my quit date so it won’t be so difficult to quit. v. When cutting down how much I smoke, pick a certain activity or area each week where I won’t smoke anymore and get rid of all smoking paraphernalia in that area. vi. For every week of successful cut-down, reward myself. vii. Once quit, for every 10 days without smoking, reward myself. b. Find a way to pamper myself each week. i. Find things I enjoy doing that will help me to relax. ii. Do at least one thing for myself each week – whether it be some alone time, watching a movie, playing a game, taking a long hot bath, etc. c. I want to begin exercising or doing something active every week, and work myself up to exercising three times per week. i. Set an amount of time to exercise or be active each time. ii. Increase amount of time until I can reach at least 45 minutes to an hour. iii. Increase number of times each week until I am exercising three times a week. iv. Make a list of things I can do that are active and that involve exercise and choose a different activity each time. v. Play music or exercise with Robert to keep me motivated. vi. Once I am at my goal of exercising three times a week, reward myself. 9. I want to move up in my position at work. a. Begin each day with a good attitude. i. Begin each day with praising God for the good things in life. ii. Think about all the things that can go right. iii. Use encouraging words to speak life into my day rather than negativity. b. Continue to encourage other members of the team. i. Use encouraging words to help others step up to the plate. ii. When I see someone struggling, help them out and speak life into them. iii. Look for the good in others and concentrate on their strengths. c. Do whatever it takes to help others succeed. i. Encourage others with words and actions. ii. Help others to “reset” if they begin to get upset. iii. When I see others struggling, help them out. iv. If I see someone who doesn’t know something that I know, show them what I know in an encouraging manner. d. Work with managers and coaches on doing what it takes to earn promotions. i. Ask managers and shift leads what I can do to improve my chances of being promoted. ii. Work with current GM to complete necessary training and certifications required to get promotions. iii. Maintain communication with managers and GM to track progress towards promotions. |
ANNOUNCEMENT: Here at "The Four Seasons Auction and Raffle" , we would like to thank all of our loyal supporters! This time around was a SMASHING SUCCESS!!!!We were able to raise a grand total of ... wait for it.... wait for it... wait for it... 2,727,000 GIFT POINTS!!!! Thank you all so much for your wonderful support of "The Four Seasons Auction and Raffle" ! You have helped make this auction the best Four Seasons yet, and completely RAN PAST our goal of 2.5 million gift points!! We can't wait until next time!Sincerely, Rhoswen - Relentless Victory  and Legendary❤️Mask  |
I'm sure you have read that life is a journey so many times here in my blog that you wonder if I know how to say anything else, LOL.  However, the truth of the matter is that life is a journey. There are times it is painful. There are times when it's full of joy. And there are times of confusion or clarity. I know it's been over a year (almost a year and a half) since I've posted a blog entry, but life has been totally crazy. I have learned a lot, gained a lot, lost a lot and worked a lot. During the process, though, I lost myself (albeit temporarily) to the ebb and flow of life that was more like a hurricane over the ocean. I lost myself in the pain of losing my best friend at work to suicide. I lost myself in the every day blah blah blah of being human - having to work part time, take care of others, and put myself last. The truth of the matter is that the last year and a half have almost killed me. But the good news is that I am making a comeback in more than one way. I am making a comeback here on WDC. I am coming back to my faith in God. I am returning to church and volunteering. I am learning how to be a mom to a teenage boy who is on the autism spectrum. And now, I am trying to come back to my writing. It's hard to make a comeback. Many of you know how tough it can be and how many times you feel like quitting and throwing in the towel. I have decided the best way for me to work on my comeback is to set certain goals for myself. I have never been one to reach all of the goals I set for myself, but right now, I'm in the frame of mind that it's now or never. One of the ways I know I'll be able to keep my goals is to set up an accountability system. So, in the spirit of holding myself accountable, I am going to post my goals here in my blog. So here they are: 1. I want to start writing poetry again, so I am going to attempt to write 1 poem a day for 100 days. They don't have to be the best poems ever written - they just need to be written. 2. I want to start keeping up with my blog - an entry every year and a half just doesn't cut it. So, rather than try to force myself to write an entry a day or an entry a week, my goal is to write 2 blog entries per month. 3. I am already reaching my goal on WDC to become more active. My auction is up and going full-force. I have done 38 reviews in the month of April 2019. I have updated my signature shop and my personal signature for reviews. So now my goal for becoming more active on WDC is to post my poetry and keep up with my blog. Some of my goals that I want to reach are real-life, non-WDC, non-writing goals. They are: 1. Take one room at a time at home and completely clean and organize it. I should be able to do one room per week. 2. Clean out my spare bedroom by hauling stuff to the dump and make it an office for myself and my son. 3. Concentrate on taking better care of myself by eating better (or in my case, eating more,) getting outside more often, and finding ways to pamper myself just a bit each week. I think my goals are realistic, and I know that I can achieve them if I really set my mind to it. So, as I get back to getting to know me, and reaching my goals, I ask that you be patient with me and keep checking in to make sure I'm working on my goals. Until next time, Bonnie Ray |
I know, I know. I'm three weeks behind in my blog, and for that, I apologize to my loyal followers. However, as the title of this blog says, life is definitely a journey. But sometimes, the journey is painful. Life has thrown me a few really painful curve balls over the past three weeks, and I have really had a difficult time in processing through them without getting stuck in my own head. However, that is easier said than done. It seems as though I have spent more time in tears, broken-hearted and sleeping than I have anything else. I am still confused by what I am dealing with, unsure of where to go or what direction to take. That being said, most of the goals that I had set for myself for 2018 have now been put aside to deal with the "real-life" issues that are tearing my life apart and plunging me into the depths of deep depression. Yes, sometimes life is good. But it seems to me more and more, that my life literally sucks. There are days where it's all I can do just to force myself up out of bed to drink a cup of coffee, smoke a cigarette and eat. Most days, it's a struggle for me to even get out of bed - mostly from lack of sleep due to the symptoms of PTSD returning with a vengeance since this last round of crap has started. I am not posting this to get sympathy - but rather, to remind people that not everyone is okay - even when it seems that they are, and not everyone's life is good. But I am also asking for my friends to pray for God's intervention into what I am dealing with to make things right again. |
I say life is a journey, and it’s true. There are twists and turns, good times and bad, and there are lessons learned. The last few weeks for me have been absolutely amazing, but at the same time, full of epic fails. I have been blessed in so many ways over the last few weeks, but I have epically failed on some of the goals that I had set for myself. Too bad life doesn’t come with a reset button, right? For a couple of years now, I’ve wanted to hear a certain pastor preach live. However, his church is in North Carolina, and I live in Georgia. When you are on limited income, travel isn’t always an option. The few times that I had been able to go, something would always come up and I would have to cancel at the last minute. Fast forward to 2018, and this same pastor came to my church to preach a message to my pastor at Night of Worship. However, he might as well have been sitting in a room one-on-one with me. His descriptions of the struggles that we had been going through, the feelings of wanting to quit, wanting to die cause we were tired of the fight, and then the triumphant joy when things are starting to work out – he might as well have been describing my life for the past two years. But then he talked about the blessings that were coming, and was talking about not running from them. Very powerful message, very powerful in so many ways. Let me tell y’all – my pastor is cray-cray-crazy! The week after our Night of Worship, our pastor had a tree brought into the sanctuary and wired onto the stage. He then proceeded to preach about being in position – and actually climbed the tree to preach! Again, another message that might have been just for me on so many levels. I have also been reading and studying two new books – and both of them are teaching me so much. They are raising my expectations in my prayer life and showing me that no matter how I fail, God is still there. Then, when all seemed lost financially, I found out that God had provided for some of my bills to be paid, provided food and other necessities that I needed, provided a new microwave since mine was about to kick the bucket, and provided some new clothes for me. Okay, now to the epic fails – I set myself a ton of goals for the month of February…and so far, I’ve reached NONE of them. Part of it is due to laziness (yes, I said it.) Part of it is due to lack of motivation. Part of it is due to fatigue. Part of it is due to the “I just don’t wanna do it” bug. But another reason is because I’ve really been trying to ponder and consider what God is showing me, and how I can apply what He is showing me to my daily life. However, I have reached one of my goals, but it wasn’t a goal for February – I re-enrolled in Bible College, and in the class I am taking on Chaplaincy/Chatplaincy (chatplaincy is a fancy word for online chaplain,) I am getting an A average. I should have this course completed by the end of the month. Things aren’t always easy. Life gets tough. Blessings come. Failures come. But how you react and what you do with it is ALWAYS a choice! I could choose to berate myself and concentrate on my failures – and that will affect my outlook on life and how I view myself. Or I could choose to learn from this and move on – and take it as a lesson learned. I choose to take this road. I’m not perfect. I never will be. But I am always willing to learn. I am willing to grow. I am willing to make mistakes and grow through the process. And that is what makes me happy – what keeps me from hating myself when I have failed as epically as I have failed so far this year. Today is a new day, and I can choose to start over. Like I said, life is a journey – enjoy it and learn from it! |
Okay, I have a confession to make. I am the world's worst person when it comes to procrastinating! I always seem to put off stuff that needs to be done. Right now, my son's room is nothing but a sea of books that need to be sorted, and either donated or put back on the shelf. However, I can't seem to bring myself to do it. Why? Because I don't want to right now...I'd rather be sitting watching a movie or hanging out here on WDC. And the books aren't the only thing I'm procrastinating with. I need to clean off my dining room table, my coffee table, my end table, and sort through all of my papers. I need to clean my bedroom, vacuum floors, sweep and mop, wash dishes, etc. The list could go on and on forever. But, for some reason, I seem to always be putting stuff off until the last minute, then am too tired to do what needs to be done. Maybe that can be one of my goals for February - quit procrastinating and just start getting stuff done little by little. Maybe that's part of the reason I put stuff off - because there's so much to do that I get overwhelmed and then I figure I'll never get caught up anyway - so what's the point? I think that my goal for February will be to get the books on the bookshelves and get my son's room organized and cleaned up. And get his bunk bed put together. Oh, for those of you who are wondering where my son is and why he doesn't help, for reasons I will NOT go into, my son doesn't live with me at the current time, but will be coming home soon. So I really gotta get it done! Until next time, Bonnie |
Okay, I have a confession. I am in my 40's, yet I still enjoy kids' stuff. Is there something wrong with me?  Let me explain. Today is my son's birthday. Tomorrow is the day we are celebrating by going to Chuck E. Cheese. For those unfamiliar with this awesome chain, it's a combination of a pizza restaurant with a kids' video arcade where kids can win tickets playing video games and turn the tickets in for prizes. It was his choice to go to Chuck E. Cheese (keep in mind, he is only 12 years old.) However, I must say I am ecstatic because when I am let loose in a place like this, I am just as much of a kid as he is. I have just as much fun playing the video games and arcade games as he does. I become a wide-eyed kid at heart when I am in a place like Chuck E. Cheese or a fair or carnival. Don't ask me why...I have no clue. So the question remains - am I a kid trapped in an adult body? Ha ha. If that's the case, I don't ever wanna grow up! Until next time, folks! |
| Okay, so this week I have spent on the couch, not doing much of anything. However, I have managed to be a pillow for my two dogs – Bella and Sassy. These four-legged fuzzies seem to think that no matter what I’m doing, it’s perfectly fine for them to lay down on my legs and nudge my hands until I give in and pet them. However, that can produce a problem. When my hands are busy petting the fuzzies, I can’t work on my writing, can’t type…it does tend to make things a bit difficult. And what makes it worse is that when I attempt to move them, they come right back to where they were. Don’t get me wrong, I love the girls. But sometimes, I would like to accomplish something – anything. So, I have had to learn to type one-handed…and I’m actually getting good at it. Oh, wait – I’m not so sure that’s a good thing! Nevertheless, having fur-babies is awesome. They are loyal to a fault, they will protect to the death, and they love without hesitation or conditions.  Now, if we humans could learn to have those same personality traits… Bonnie |
I used to think that I didn’t need anyone to help me do anything. I didn’t need people to “support” me and hold me accountable. I could do that on my own. I have learned through the last two years, that not only do I need others, but by allowing others to help me, I am learning to be self-sufficient in a way that’s not self-destructive, and it’s helping me to stay accountable to my goals, both writing goals and non-writing goals. Having friends who hold you accountable – not just for your goals, but for your thought patterns and stinkin’ thinkin’, will really help a person out. Don’t get me wrong – being alone can also benefit one, and being independent can be a good thing. But I have learned over the last couple of years that too much of anything might lead to disastrous results. Let me give you a prime example of how not having a support system has hurt my writing: I set myself a goal of writing a blog entry every week in 2017. However, that did NOT happen. Why? I could come up with a million excuses: I didn’t have time; I couldn’t think of anything to write; No one cares about what’s going on in my life; I don’t feel like writing it today; I’ll write it tomorrow. And the list goes on and on. But the truth of the matter is that I didn’t have the self-discipline to manage my time well enough to hold myself accountable to the goal. Now here’s an example of how it affected my personal life outside of writing: I set a goal of making sure to do my daily Bible study every day. However, again, I came up with excuse after excuse for not getting it done – see the excuses listed above. This one, however, had more of an effect on me than just not writing a blog entry. I began to become distant from God. I became more easily frustrated, frightened, ticked off, and offended. Even things that shouldn’t have bothered me began to really piss me off. I began to feel as if my life didn’t matter – and that I was a total failure, that there was no way God could love me. Then I got to a point where I began to blame Him for the things that were going on – even when it was something that was caused by my own poor choices. However, I noticed that on the days when I did my daily study first thing when I got up – oh, okay….be technical….after my first three cups of coffee, I seemed to have better days. I didn’t get frustrated very easily. I wasn’t as scared of what I couldn’t see coming in the future. I wasn’t feeling like so much of a failure. And I started to believe again that God loved me and that my life meant something. So you see, having an accountability partner or a friend who can help encourage you to reach your goals and keep up with your daily goals can be a very good thing, especially if you are someone like me who tends NOT to have self-discipline in these areas. So do yourself and everyone around you a favor. Quit being a loner, get an accountability buddy or ask some of your friends to help you, and start reaching your goals and feeling better about yourself. You will find in the long run, you will be much happier.  |
There are some people who come into your life that no matter what the journey entails, become what I call your "Ride or Die" friends - the ones that no matter what happens in your life, good or bad, they are there for you. They share your tears, they get angry with you, they celebrate with you. But, they are also not afraid to kick your butt when you are in the wrong or have a wrong mindset. They are honest to a fault, but that's because they know that honesty is the only way to go. I have a few of these friends, and I must say, I thank God for them each and every day. They have been lights in a world of darkness, love amid the wreckage of hate, peace in the middle of a battle. They aren't perfect by any means, but they are true - true to you, true to themselves, and true to the world, even if they stand alone. I hope and pray for each of my "Ride or Die" friends daily. But I also pray for God to teach me to be one of those "Ride or Die" friends to them as well. Being this type of friend doesn't mean you won't have disagreements - but it means that you will be able to work through them and move on. Lord, help me to be a "Ride or Die friend." Bonnie  |
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of getting a bicycle maybe that will help get my energy back as well as getting me healthier. I'm glad that your back and praying you don't leave me again. 
Love ya, Sis 
