Jim's (jim-d) Reviews

Review Requests: ON

3,472 Public Reviews Given

3,520 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.

I'm good at...

I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).

Favorite Genres

Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense

Least Favorite Genres

Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.

Favorite Item Types

Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.

Least Favorite Item Types

I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.

I will not review...

I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.

101

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4828155

Review of Removal

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey C. Don

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 21^st WDC Anniversary!

This is an interesting piece of Flash Fiction you've written. The biggest problem I see though is that it is 100% telling, 0% showing. Why? It had to be in order to stick to the idea of being Flash Fiction. So it leaves one in a Quandary really. To me, it's an article, not a story. But it's also a story, not an article. Confused yet? I would leave it as is, but put a blank line between each paragraph. It just makes it a little easier to read. Another thing you might do, is enlarge the font. In case you don't know how to do that, here's what you do. When/if you edit this, you'll see 3 S's of slowly enlarging sizes. Sort of like sSS. Click that to open a tool bar. Highlight all your text by pressing Ctrl-A, then select the size you want ( I use font size 4 for about everything on WDC, including this review). Save it.

Another thing I saw is the use of technical terms that require a knowledge of Radios. Terms like VHF, UHF, Yagi, & RG58. Define them for a reader.

VHF - Very High Frequency, typically 30 - 300 Mhz

UHF - Ultra High Frequency 0 typically 300 Mhz to 3 Ghz

Yagi - A type of directional antenna with horizontal elements (when mounted correctly, elements are typically antenna tubing) that slowly decrease in length

RG58 - A type of cable used in RF Communications. You mighty also explain that a TV uses these frequencies, and which ones are used. FCC stuff that you don't need to go into deeply at all.

Overall I really enjoyed this story. I understood things because of my RF Background. Most people would not understand them though, hence my comments above. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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102

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14 days may be credited.

#4827684

Review of Mabel

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HeyApril Desiree

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 16^th WDC Anniversary!

I love this limerick of yours! I love Limericks in general, but rarely write them. This one though, about St. Patrick's Day is great. The flow is good, the rhyme & rhythm meet the Limerick form.

One of the things that make this so good, is that it is 'clean'. You don't use one of those 4-letter words, nor did you include sex in it. A traditional limerick is usually 'dirty' or bawdy. (I won't provide one I've had in memory for ages.)

As much as I love it, I do have a couple of very minor suggestions for you.

Please allow me to copy your Limerick here, and show my suggestions in red.

There once was a lassie named Mabel
Who loved to dance 'round the great Maypole
But She found herself dismayed
At St. Patty's parade
Her clover, she'd left on the table

Just a thought about it, nothing more.

Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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103

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14 days may be credited.

#4827642

Review of The Stranger's Gift

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Lani

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18^th WDC Anniversary!

What a wonderful story and compliment given to you by a stranger! This is a nice read, one that can lift your spirit if needed. After all, the sun always shines, the sky is always blue. I know it can be difficult growing up with comments like you were receiving. I was there too, as a young boy. I didn't fit in anywhere it seemed, so I can commiserate with you about your feelings.

This has no real dialog to it, I don't think it needs any other than what you have here. I would like to see this longer, that's just wishful thinking on my part. Not a lot longer, but enough so a reader can learn more about you as you were growing up. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

104

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14 days may be credited.

#4827365

Review of Happy Holiday c-Notes

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ 2026

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18th WDC Anniversary!

This is a nice collection of C-Notes, but you seemed to concentrate on Christmas & Halloween (Why am I not surprised by the number of Halloween C-Notes?) While the C-Notes for other holidays may be in a different folder, I'm surprised you have none for Memorial Day or Independence Day. You do have 1 Easter C-Note, and 1 Thanksgiving C-Note here though. Thinking of other Holidays you could add. Valentines Day? That's more of a Hallmark Holiday than anything. Presidents Day/Martin Luther King Jr. Day? Naah, not in my opinion. Nor Labor Day. We celebrate it, but it's not really a 'Holiday' in many ways. Nothing wrong with not having those other C-Notes here, but your folder is labeled as Happy Holiday C-Notes. Just an observation, nothing more.

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

105

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14 days may be credited.

#4827247

Review of The Public Library

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Butturbug

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 1^st WDC Anniversary!

You've written a pretty interesting Monologue here. I too loved Libraries as a teen. But we didn't have computers then (late 60's), I just checked out books. I do think Libraries are nice, and needed.

Your point about being Batman or Wolverine is excellent. Though I've never figured out why having a Superhero in town makes that Superhero responsible for the lives of an entire city. It's as if you're saying, "We don't have to worry about any violence now, <Superhero name> lives here. That's quite a Crock. if you ask me. That's the same as saying "We have the Police, so we don't have to worry about ourselves with them around." We are always responsible for ourselves. Besides, with some cities recently 'defunding' their Police Force, I have to wonder about Superheroes. Surely they wouldn't work to save the city for free...

Suppose the citizens voted to defund their Superhero? It's not part of your Monologue, nor does it need to be, it's just my mind wandering is all.

Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

106

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#4827072

Review of Google Supports Criminals

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hey Joey Says...Where's Winter?

,

I credited q review of this and knew I had to read it. It's an excellent editorial/rant of life on the Internet in the modern world.

I think you're very lucky to have a talent like this. Think about the knowledge you have that so many others lack! You know so much more than most others. I think I have decent computer skills, but my skills pale in comparison to many. I love learning a new skill, but frankly being retired now, I'm slowing down, and I hate to say it, losing interest. As much as I enjoyed reading this, I do have some comments about this for you.

Specific Comments:

1. SEO. When this first appeared in you article, like many others I thought to myself, 'SEO?'. I qualified SEO on my submarines, but it's not the same thing of course. When you first type an Acronym such as SEO, you should first type out the full name of it. In this case, you would type Search Engine Optimzer (SEO). This way a reader immediately knows what you mean by SEO, and when they see it again, they will should understand what it means. I know you explained it later, but only have using the Acronym three or four times. What I saw a lot in technical manuals in the past, is that Engineers assume we know something, and don't provide enough information up front.

2. You made good use of italics to identify important thoughts, but this one needs a little editing help. (Google says this is not possible, even when you provide them with hundreds of examples SEO manipulation.) I think you need the word 'of' before SEO manipulation. BTW, based on personal experience, I doubt your information about SEO manipulation was received by an Engineer. I would bet that a notification like this is first screened by someone who is not qualified to answer your complaint.

3. I think your use of the term 'moron', and typing the following is a bit very blunt, and hurtful. I would like to think that any moron could tell that Commission Cash Code is a scam, But I sorry, if you are not savvy enough to spot this scam up front you are not ready to do anything on the internet. The internet is open to the general public, and most of the users are there looking to complete a desired task. They are not as informed as you are about the hazards of the Internet. Calling the general public Moron's though is a wrong (in my eyes). After all, how versed are you in the Science of Rocketry. Do you know most of what is needed to launch a vehicle into space? Do you know what it takes for a Spacecraft such as Voyager I (or II) to communicate with Earth? How about my past life in the Navy. Do you know how to start a Reactor to get underway? Do you understand why it's so important to shim rods slowly? Do you know how to start the Steam Plant once the Reactor is at operating temperature? If you don't, one could call you a Moron. Be aware that a general user on the internet is not that educated in this, but does have the right to access it, even though they are not as knowledgeable as you.

4. You are right that as a Company Google does not care. (Don't get me going about Motorola Solutions, we'll be here forever). I would be willing to bet that if your complaint about fraud managed to be forwarded to the right person, it would still take a bit of time for Google to address it. Testing would need to be done for verification purposes. But I do agree, overall, no corporation cares about things in general at the highest level. They care about company value. Stock Market prices, not to mention politics. Oh that's a deep well to get into, I'm not qualified to discuss things like that, and won't. What I'm saying is that there are people at Google who do care, they're just not very high in the 'food chain'.a

5. You typed A quick click at 'Whois.com' shows that the site does not even belong to Blake Matthews. I think you need to describe how this was done. Once you're at the Whois site, what other clicks are required to see this? Yeah, we're back to the Moron thing again, huh. But think of your readers, their average Computer/Internet skill level, and speak to that level. In essence, 'Dumb it down' for them.

Overall impressions:

This is an excellent article. Unfortunately I think your audiences will not really understand what you mean. That may turn them away, and that's not what we want a writers! Thank you for sharing!

Jim

WDC POWER Reviewer

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107

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#4826986

Review of The Little Girl and the Puppy

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey cvwriter - school be crazy

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 14^th WDC Anniversary!

This is a nice story. I think it's a good fit for pre-teen children. Don't get me wrong, I think it's a good story. I would however, add the genre's of Young Adult, and Family to it and remove the 'Other' category. There are a couple of things you might do should you decide to edit this.

Make the font a little larger. In case you don't know how to do that, highlight the story contents (including the title), click the 3 S's in the edit bar and choose your font size. I use a font size 4 in about everything I post on WDC. It makes the story easier to read.

Center the title of the story on the page. That's a personal preference.

You might consider using the {indent} command in the first line of each paragraph. It just improves the appearance of your story. You can type it as shown here, or again use the edit bar to add the {indent}.

Specific comments about the story are:

1. Patches of grass and moss poked through crevices and along spances between slabs of cement. I think you meant spaces.

2. Shivering near the rear tire a small-starved puppy curled up protectively, its eyes searching the two females that watched it. I think you need a comma after tire.

3. Maybe they would feed her, and bathe her, and cuddle with her during those loud thunder storms that frightened her so much. I think you should delete the word 'and' before bathe.

Again, a nice story for a young adult. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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108

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14 days may be credited.

#4826824

Review of Santa makes me cry

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Daizy May

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19^th WDC Anniversary!

I love writing about Santa! For me, he is someone special. Not in a religious sense, just someone we can all admire and look up to.

I understand why Santa makes you cry. It's hard to lose someone, especially a sibling. Cancer is a horrible disease, it's as horrible as Dementia or Alzheimer's. I used to think that if you got one of those diseases, it was to punish you for something you've done in this life. Now, I see as a part of life. Nothing you did caused that to happen. Your body allows the disease to flourish instead of fighting it. I use the term 'your body' all the time. I'm of the opinion that we all are individuals, living inside a shell that is our body. Our soul, or essence, our being, is not the body, it's us. So, the body I inhabit is aging, I can't control it, no one can. I'm sorry, I got off on a tangent for a minute there.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother. I hope you have managed to move on now, and are happy. But.... Happy WDC Anniversary! Have a great Anniversary Day!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

109

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#4826689

Review of Harris The Doorstop

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hey L.A.Saxe

,

I recently read a review of this and thought I'd give it a go too. It's a good story, I'm glad you told us that this is an introductory scene for a WIP Story. Otherwise I'd be puzzled about it.

You have me wondering about Harris. I'm more of an Extrovert than Introvert. Much more. However, I do not look for the Limelight in a crowd. Everyone else is welcome to be in it, not me. So I do have Introvert tendencies at times. Still, the story flows well. There is a bit of telling here, adding dialog in some places would help.

I did see a couple of very minor things you may choose to look at should you decide to edit this.

1. Harris was just shy of six feet tall, with sandy-brown hair that seemed to have a mind of its own — a very disorganised mind of its own. Saying he has a mind of his own, then repeating the word mind again in such a short time is redundant. This might be something for you. Harris was just shy of six feet tall, with sandy-brown hair and seemed to have a mind of his own — a very disorganised one at that. The way it's currently written it seems that you're telling us his hair has a mind. I know it's not what you intended, but that's how I read it.

2. Harris excelled as a Doorstop magnificently. Using Excelled and Magnificently here is redundant. I would delete one or the other, and perhaps reword it a little. Maybe something like this. Harris served as a magnificent Doorstop; his was the first name that came up when a particularly remote and boring opportunity came in for the Doorstoppers.

A good story, I find myself wondering where you're going with this character. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

110

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14 days may be credited.

#4826419

Review of Failed Magic

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey DyrHearte writes

I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 24^th WDC Anniversary!

Your story left me a little puzzled until re-read it. When I first read it, I thought Alex, Larry, and Theola all shared a residence in the Assisted Living Facility. Where did I get that crazy idea from?

It's a nice enough story, but it's begging to be lengthened. Your ending leaves the reader hanging. I don't understand the part about Larry & Theola leaving. Where are they going? For that matter, what's going on in your story? Your beginning needs a little work to introduce the reader to what's going on. Combine that with a stronger ending, you'll be fine.

I did see one very minor thing you might want to look at should you decide to edit this.

1. "Al, maybe if you stood over here." Larry, stepped toward Theola. This line is awkwardly worded. Perhaps something like this would work for you. "Al, maybe if you stood over here." Larry said as he stepped toward Theola.

A nice story, thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

111

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14 days may be credited.

#4826065

Review of How To Get Viewed

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Theday

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 24^th WDC Anniversary!

This is a good list of how someone can get viewed here on WDC. I like it, but you really need to edit this. You last edited this about 8 days before I joined the site, things have really changed in the last 15 years. One example would be the number next to your name. You write: As you can see the little number next to my name is the number of people who have joined Writing.com when looking through my port, also, they're all my Merit Badges added up and 100 reviews = 1 point. This is now equal to Referred Members (18), Qualified Merit Badges (59), Qualified Awardicons (4), Trinket Points (0), Review Recognitions (17, meaning you've sent 1700 Reviews), and Bonus Recognitions (130)(24 Years of Memberships x 5, or 120, +10 for being a Preferred Author). So yeah, a lot has changed since you last edited this.

This is an excellent list, it does need a thorough review and updating as necessary. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

112

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#4825918

Review of Screaming Kettles

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey RadioShea

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 19^th WDC Anniversary!

It's amazing what teens will do to fit into a group. When I was this age, the 3-4 friends I hung out with did not do things like this. I know I wouldn't have if challenged to, call me Chicken. I'm just sensible. My friends were into drugs a bit, not me though. I refused, and have still, at age 71, not touched a joint. I do take drugs (medications), but they are all prescribed.

This is well written, I expected nothing less from someone who's had a feature screenplay win Best Director at the Boston Int'l Film Fest. Well done. For this to be a true story just tells one how far teens will go to be accepted by others. Crazy. In some ways, this reminds me of "Stand By Me", except there one of the boys was killed.

A good story that should get a lot more exposure. You're allowed to feature 3 items in your port, you haven't featured any, so do that for at least this story! Also, add a biography on the biography page for us! Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

113

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14 days may be credited.

#4825200

Review of Moving On

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey werden

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 20^th WDC Anniversary!

I think we've all been there. We've all been dumped at one time or another. You wrote this well, nice descriptions that kept the reader involved, with very little, if any, telling. Nice job of showing here, I could see the cliff, I could feel the whoosh as Harry jumped!

I have a few comments, and one question. Early on you describe the jump as a 30' jump. Later, when Harry is in the water, George is 50' above him. Which is it? A 30' jump, or a 50' jump? I have other comments listed below.

1. "I know," Harry said, frustrated. It's just Missing closing quotation marks, and perhaps ellipses?

2. Hordes of people milled on the cliff that overlooked the jump point. Missing the word that. I've added it in red to show you.

3. They got in line, shaking of the coming leap, George with excitement, Harry with fear. This is worded awkwardly. As written it does not make sense. Perhaps this might work. They got in line, both of them shaking while thinking of the coming leap. George with excitement, Harry with fear.

This is a good story you've written, one I enjoyed reading. With just a little editing TLC, it will earn ever higher scores. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

114

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#4825003

Review of The John Deere Tractor Blade Fiasco

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey jackson

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 5^th WDC Anniversary!

This is a pretty humorous story, more about the phone call you received than anything. I liked it, but it seems that you wrote this in spurts. What I mean is, that's how it reads. There are small breaks in the read, almost as if this was written in spurts. That, or your mind is like mine, about one thousand miles ahead of your typing.

You seem to assume the reader knows things too, as if we can read your mind. An example would be your second line. After that, I drove over to get new brake shoes installed on my car. The sentence is fine as written, in some ways. But where did you drive to? I would assume you drove to a brake shop of some type. But could you have driven to a donut shop? We all know you wouldn't go to a donut shop (Dunkin maybe?) to have brake shoes installed on your car, but still.....

Then you jump to eating dinner and the phone rings. A John Deere tractor blade? That really sounds like someone compromised your credit card. But.... his office receiving it that quickly meant it had been compromised a few days ago. This is what I mean by jumping around, you start a subject and never quite finish it. It's as if you had this idea about writing this story and couldn't wait to get to it. Pure excitement maybe?

In addition to my comment about your second line, I have other minor things to mention.

1. You've done a good job indenting the first line of every paragraph. Except the first line of your opening paragraph, and the ninth paragraph.

2. It didn't seem that you were concerned about someone using your name to order a John Deere Tractor Blade. It seems that one of those would cost a 'pretty penny'. I would think you'd be concerned about how it got ordered in the first place.

3. I have to wonder how your address was lost. Unless this happened back when I was a child (60's and 70's), everything ordered today is entered in a database of some kind. That address would not be lost. Again, it seems like someone else used your card to order it, and you weren't one bit concerned about it.

4. This line has nothing to do with the story, at least nothing to do with it as written. I had, without thinking, left a lot of important papers on the console of the car. I suspect it has everything to do with how that John Deere tractor blade was ordered. The one you weren't concerned about at all.

It's things like comments 3 & 4 that caused me to comment about you 'writing in spurts'. It's a good story, relatively funny, it just needs to be 'tightened up' a little to help the flow of it. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

115

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#4824725

Review of Dawn

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Amethyst Snow Angel

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 2^nd WDC Anniversary!

This story is wonderful. I can see a man fighting, perhaps to his death, to defend his daughter. I know I would have, but fortunately I've never had to face that choice.

I was a little surprised at the ending, a small twist I wasn't expecting. Then again, I'm not sure what I was expecting. It wasn't until I was writing this review that I think I understood exactly what it was the father broke. His promise to not fight.

I loved the flow of this., Despite being so short, you managed to tell a complete story with an excellent flow of dialog. Try as I might, I could zero errors I thought you might want to edit. The only comment, emphasis on comment, this is not meant to be anything derogatory about your story. My preference is to use the {indent} command to indent the first line of each paragraph. Just a preference, nothing more. I also use a size 4 font for just about everything I write. Again, a personal preference. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

116

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#4824678

Review of Romantic Notions

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 23^rd WDC Anniversary!

I love the the twist at the end! It reminds me of the short story by O'Henry, The Gift Of The Magi. Your ending is similar, she wants to love him, he ends up not loving her. Wow!

The flow of your story, and the dialog between Bryan and Diedre was excellent. You hooked me early on, there no thought of not finishing the story.

As much as I loved it, I did see one small thing you might want to correct, should you decide to edit it.

1. The first few trips I’d gone too, but I quickly saw I was out of my league. Too should be to. Or reword to something like this. The first few trips I’d gone on with him, but I quickly saw I was out of my league.

For me, the story is about an old saying. Be careful what you wish for. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

117

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#4824380

Review of 640 West 48th Street

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Charles Lampert

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 2^nd WDC Anniversary!

I have to say that I'm really glad you included the genre Fiction for this. Of course another clue was that you wrote this for the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge. Else Id have to wonder about you.

This poor fellow leads a pretty dismal life if you ask me. It's not one I could live, I'd have to find a way to move. Out of NYC, I'm not a big city person. Plus he's too organized for me. I'm decently organized too, but not to this extreme. Yes, I do fold my underwear, lol. My T-shirts are also folded, T-shirts, socks and Undies are in a drawer arranged in a specific order. But, nothing is perfectly folded, if they get messed up, it's fine.

All in all it was an enjoyable read, no errors, minor or major were found. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

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118

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#4824278

Review of I hate to wash my hair!

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey AliceLvs2Write

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 23^rd WDC Anniversary!

I really enjoyed this story, and while it didn't make LOL, it was easy to see the humor in it. I have to say, I love your sense of humor!

Look as close as I could, I couldn't find anything that needed an edit, well done there! You even drink Scotch! While I'm more of a Bourbon Fan (along with Tequila), I've enjoyed a bit of Scotch now and then. Oh wait, this is fiction, maybe you don't enjoy Scotch after all!

You have a nice enjoyable story here, thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

119

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14 days may be credited.

#4823937

Review of A Lady’s Love

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Whitney

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 6^th WDC Anniversary!

Your story is a beautiful story of love through the years. You never name the lady or her man, and that's fine. You did generalize a lot here, with phrases that provided no details. Doing that tends to lead to telling and not showing.

Please allow me to show you an example of your telling, with a small suggestion on how to change this to showing.

The next days went on pretty much the same. The lady got through with the help of the villagers, who respected her right to privacy, yet found ways to show their kindness through the delivery of food, firewood, warm blankets, or services she might need. The men of the village came forth to do various tasks, like checking the roof for leaks, tending the animals, harvesting the wheat she and her husband had planted, and cutting the grass around the small house with a long sickle to keep the area neat. Eventually the lady ventured out and helped where and when she could.

Instead, maybe something like this. The next days went on pretty much the same. On many days, Mary would stop by to help the Lady with chores. One day Mary asked, "M'Lady, will you ever remarry?"

"Mary, I have no intention of marrying again. My heart belongs to Tristan, and Tristan only." Mary looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded her head and went back to what she had been doing. When Mary left that day, she left behind a small basket of fresh bread, sandwiches, and cheeses.

I did not include any help from men, I didn't feel it was needed. But see how a little dialog can open the story up some? How it can pull a reader in? This is just a short, somewhat average example of showing, not telling.

I enjoyed reading your story, it's just that I'd liked to have seen some amount of showing and less telling. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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120

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14 days may be credited.

#4823759

Review of Innerlight's January Blog

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Reviewing this Blog, but especially "July 5 2025"

Hey innerlight

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 11^th WDC Anniversary!

While I noted I'm reviewing this entry, I did read 4-5 entries as a way of getting to know you better. I find your blog to be pretty interesting, it allows a reader to see who you are. Knowing someone on line is far different from knowing them IRL.

In reviewing someone's Blog, I don't look for spelling/English errors unless they're really obvious and repetitive. I didn't see them here, but I will say your entries are not perfect. That's fine though, because a Blog is really like a Diary, except it's not private. I learned to appreciate Blogs when I was grading them in the 30 Day Blogging Challenge. I'd love to see that resurrected by the owner of it, but apparently he's not interested in it anymore. I won;'t seek a transfer because I'm not sure I'd want to carry it on as is.

It sounds like you and Calypso are slowly adjusting to life in your apartment. I am thankful that I'm in a decent home, even if it is a bit small. Our yard is great though, but it does need to be improved.d We have plans for it, but we also have very tentative plans to get a Motorhome. We're just unsure if we want a true Motorhome, or a Pleasureway/Roadtrek to get around in. My van is fine, but it's not a Recreational Vehicle. Being older, we can get one to travel around in. It's just a matter of how much travel we'll do.

Keep up the good work on your blog! It's nice to meet you, even if only virtually. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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121

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14 days may be credited.

#4823577

Review of The Not So Calm Before the Storm

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Webby!
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 18^th WDC Anniversary!

Your story has a bit of comedy to it, as well as being adventurous. What it could use though, is a bit more showing and less telling. I see this was written about the time you joined WDC. I bet if you were to write it today, you would write it quite differently, with far more showing than is in it now.

You did a good job describing your group, I especially liked the description of the one you nicknamed Mr. Twitch. That was cute, and a nice touch.

I'm sure you know all about showing and not telling, if I may, I will give you one example where you could have done a better job of showing. I noticed a lovely window facing the lake. Mr. Twitch grabbed a spot next to it and just stood there casting weird shadows with his jerking head movements. He then spoke of his academic accomplishments and recent promotion to professorship at his Ivy League college. Who would have thought he possessed the intelligence to even get dressed in the morning? Maybe something like this here, instead of what you currently have.

I noticed a lovely window facing the lake. Mr. Twitch grabbed a spot next to it and stood there casting weird shadows with his jerking head movements. He turned to face me and said, "Y'know, you probably don't realize it, but I've accomplished quite a bit at Columbia. I don't mean to brag, but I do have a PhD in Physics, and have been promoted to be the President of the Physics & Chemistry Department."

My first thought was, 'Who would have thought he possessed the intelligence to even get dressed in the morning'? As you know, it's small things like this that help draw a reader in even more, and shows, doesn't tell, what's going on.

Overall though, it was an enjoyable story. I find myself wondering what happened later that night, and what the older woman ended up doing. Thank you for sharing!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

122

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#4823143

Review of Will I Wake Tomorrow From This Nightmare

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

HeyRothschild

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 13^th WDC Anniversary!

First, I've never reviewed a play, nor have I seen a script for one before. You do a nice job in describing the scene and situation in your play. I could almost picture the restaurant scene in my mind as I read. This reminds me of the movie '12 Angry Men'. Why? Because the group argues about inane things that should be left for much later. It just seems that they would work together more and not argue so much. This could just be me though.

I mentioned their arguing just now, and while this next comment is about arguing, it seemed out of place considering what was happening. Marie Ann and Danny discuss some pretty personal things going on in Marie Ann's life. Especially considering their circumstances. It might be better to bring that to light in later acts.

The gunmen tell the police they have hostages, and these people are the hostages? From what I know about a hostage situation (which is really little), the gunmen usually have the hostages in sight at all times. This whole concept really makes me shake my head.

Enough about my thoughts on what's going on. I do have comments about your writing.

1. Marie Ann: Geek, not Arabic. They’re not AL Qaeda. Geek should be Greek.

2. Tony: It was a reflex, an honest to god reflex. I’m so sorry. God should be capitalized. God is always capitalized.

3, In Act II - (Sit down, notices that Frank’s fast asleep) Sit should be sits

4. Tony: Wife and daughter. Sounds like a sweat gig. Sweat should be sweet.

5. Tony intern screams out in pain. Intern should be in turn.

You have a nice play going on here, keep it up! Thank you for sharing.

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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123

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14 days may be credited.

#4822895

Review of ONLY IF

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey Joy- Happy 2026!

,
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 24^th WDC Anniversary!

Y'know, your story makes me very happy that I never chose to be a car salesman! I think that Howard was polite to a very difficult customer. My impression is that Mr. Dimmit knew exactly what Howard was saying every time. I also feel that Mr. Dimmit knew he had a 'Newbie' on hand, and decided to make their encounter as difficult as he could. Shame on him!

You wrote this as a comical exchange, that was good. I think I would have had a very tough time being polite to Mr. Dimmit. Yes, I realize he is a Psychologist, and has the title of Doctor. Being the Psychologist he is, he took advantage of the situation. I just felt he came across as rude to poor Howard. Let's just say your portrayal of him caused me to dislike him intensely. Excellent writing on your part to cause that! I know that I would have a difficult time relating to a person like this.

A very enjoyable story, even if I personally didn't like one of the characters. To me, that's a sign of a good story. Nothing says I have to like the characters or the story. What matters is, the writing brought those feelings to the surface! Thank you for sharing.

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

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124

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#4822826

Review of The Great God Cernunnos

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.0)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Hey batbird117

bird},
I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 1^st WDC Anniversary!

You hit the nail on the head with this one,giving it the genre of Comedy. I found Pete to be a bit Schizo and Paranoid. He really should have placed more trust in his wife! I mean the places his mind went on hearing things they discussed in the group. The Great God Cernnunos? Very well hung according to several women in the group? SMH over all that. There comes a point where one has to say to themselves, 'This is complete idiocy. I have to trust her and the love we share.

Anyone who really knows me, knows that I was unfaithful in my first marriage. I won't go into why here, but I was. Now married a second time, there's no way I'd be unfaithful. UNLESS.... No, not even then.

This is very good, but it needs a little WDC formatting if you choose to edit this. Here are my comments:

1. Use the {indent} (exactly as you see it here) in the first line of each paragraph. No spaces! Just type that and begin typing. The first line will be indented automatically, the same amount, every time. I'm doing this during this review.

2. This comment is a personal preference. Highlight the title, and click the 'center' icon above the title. IF you like, also click the B to bold that text.

3. Your keyboard must be set to a non-USA layout because your opening quotation marks are centered on the letter. Here's an example: "He's making the rounds," This is a little odd. In your story, the opening quotation mark is about halfway down the letter, but in my review, it's correctly placed. You can change this if you like. If you want, let me know and I'll help you set it.

A very humorous story of infidelity, except it wasn't infidelity. Loved it!

Sum1

WDC POWER RAIDER

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

125

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#4822512

Review of Hey, life? Are you kidding me?

Review by Jim

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"

Review of "Walks are like Days"

Review of "walkout"

Hey audra_branson

I saw your suitcase on the Anniversary Review page and thought I'd drop in to honor this occasion, your 17^th WDC Anniversary!

I can really relate to your entry. I think I've spent most of my life on my feet. In my Nay Career I frequently stood a watch, on my feet of course. You get used to it of course, but still. I also walked quite a bit on watch, touring the Engineering Spaces. Add to it a tour of duty teaching classes, and that number (of steps, though they were never counted back then) in my life has exponentially increased. I say exponentially because after retiring in 1992, I worked in general labor for two years, then six years as a maintenance person at a Tire Plant, and 24 years teaching technicians all about the radios, and radio systems we manufactured. I retired for good last month, my feet are still feeling it!

But your post about taking walks is excellent. You point out that although you enjoy walking, it's not always easy to complete. Bravo to you for doing this! I read other posts, especially the one about having 30 students in a classroom, and your argument against cutbacks. I can't begin to imagine. The max allowed in my classes was only 12! Plus, I could teach without the necessity of having a degree. For crying out loud, all I have is a high school diploma! I can't imagine what you go through on a daily basis trying to teach. 30 Students! Shaking my head over that. My hat is off to you, I mean that. Teaching Adults is so much easier.

The only comment I have is that your last entry is September 2, 2024. If you ever have enough energy, please write more entries, perhaps on a more daily basis. Thank you for sharing, and writing.

Sum1

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .