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Review Requests: ON
1,251 Public Reviews Given
1,492 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Disclaimer: I am not good at remembering to do requested reviews. Often I have busy things going on with work and my own novels, so sorry if I decline or don't remember to do a review in the short time given. Just a warning. When I review: Long. Depending on the type of story and reason for review I tend to get anywhere from 4,000 characters to on the rare occasion over 10,000. I will make overall comments, technical points and even offer sources when necessary but a lot is dependent on what I'm reviewing. I can even do a full edit but that's take a lot of niceness and time.
I'm good at...
Ummm let me ask someone and get back to you on this.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy. I read a lot of romance/erotica because of the contest I run. I'm fairly open and will read stories, poems, nonfiction, chapters, almost anything.
Least Favorite Genres
I know less about mystery, horror, some nonfiction topics, and westerns. I also don't care for vampires, sorry but just don't interest me.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories.
Least Favorite Item Types
Probably campfires and interactives. Maybe surveys and polls too though I can always managed to find enough to say.
I will not review...
Shrink or Growth items. I've seen references and yeah, not my type. Erotica is one thing, I can handle most with only few times leaving a story feeling scarred for life, but those two I have no interest in helping. So, unless you want me to say please stop, don't request I review that and if you do, better have it rated appropriately.
Public Reviews
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Review of Food  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Genipher Author Icon.

I am reviewing your story today as part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]. It's nice to get the chance to review someone that I've never had the chance before. Often, I post after some people I know so this is a fun week to read something new.

Initial Reaction: That is one concise gold fish. While it is unusual to have one that talks, it is interesting that you went with one that goes straight to the point instead of spouting off a lot of stuff. You manage to get character with both just in how they spoke and the word choices used. An amusing little piece of flash fiction about a guy who has a talking goldfish.


Contest/Prompt: Ah the good ol' dialogue only contest. Nice choice. It is a challenge when you can't add any descriptive details in order to distinguish between the characters. While we can get the sense of a back and forth conversation, this contests still provides a definite challenge for both the writer and the reader. I didn't know the prompt as I haven't looked at the contest in a while. It's a funny thought, the goldfish that can speak This entry does fit the prompt well.


General Thoughts and Final Notes: Overall, you did a nice job trying to get the story done in just dialogue. I like the voices you created here. The guy was a little flustered, a touch annoyed and yet at ease talking with his fish. I like that you didn't go with the surprise moment when someone finds out the fish speaks. Instead, it was old hat for the two. And the fish might not say much but it clearly knows what is important and has devotion as the pet. It was also entertaining.

I don't know if the round has finished or not yet. I don't see anything that could be changed. It's a fun story and I hope it does well in the contest. Keep writing! *PenO*


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings, 💙 Carly: poems & novel Author Icon.

I am reviewing your story today as part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+]


Initial Reaction: Based on the contest, I knew to expect something short. Since the daily flash fiction challenge has a low word count limit due to flash fiction part. I didn't know what to expect from the story other than something related to the phrase, which was also the prompt. This is definitely something different and able to paint a picture of a scene within the minimal time (word count) allowed. It's a fun little bit, yet could also go for more.

Contest/Prompt: This is a fun contest since it's very quick due to the short deadlines, kind of like Writer's Cramp. Have a single day to write a very short story. The prompts are often open to interpretation and can create a variety of stories. Your choice does make sense and makes a good use of the prompt, which was necessary and fit within the contest of the characters along with their situation.

Characters: I like the dynamic between the characters. Even though we don't get any information on appearances or details on either of them, it still feels like enough. We do get the sense that they are someone. I didn't mind the first person approach and having limited information on the POV character. It works in this case.

Final Thoughts: I like the approach but am stuck with one question. What were they doing? Like, I sort of get the ideas in the story. They are breaking into the room and using the computer, hacker style. But I don't have the reason. I am not sure on the why for the characters action. So, that leave me feeling a little unresolved. You may be doing that on purpose. Some will appreciate it and other readers may not like missing the information. That is up to you whether it gets added or not. Good luck!



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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Beck Firing back up! Author Icon.

I am reviewing your story today as part of "I Write in 2024" Open in new Window. [13+] since I posted in the forum after you. Happy to give a review and share my thoughts since we also entered the same contest.


Initial Reaction: It is definitely a fun story, taking the meteorologist route with the contest prompt. You took an amusing take with the characters and the use of names to showcase the animal elements that were required. I was a little torn with how to feel on the approach as part of me liked the more show focus but a little part of me also wanted to be told a few details.

Contest/Prompt: The contest is a fun one with different prompts every single day, which makes it a good choice for the I Write challenge. Granted, not all of the prompts are as appealing but this one caught our attention along with others. This does follow the prompt in that the characters are animals but judging by the names, none of them are the groundhog and are not meant to be humans even if they are human-like with the existence of the news company and weather predictor role. And it works in particular because with some I read, I couldn't even tell the animal referenced. While I wasn't 100 percent sure, since going off cues, we still had enough information to go by with your approach. And it looks like we both went with some type of penguin (maybe, if Pen is a penguin).

Other Notes and Thoughts: Nice work!

I don't have much that I can say against it. I do like that you used hints with the characters, but also a little part of me wanted a confirmation. And I kinda hope Daisy is not a cow and probably should avoid duck cause copyright (Disney might notice, lol), just to not be too on the nose for every critter/person.

One minor suggestion would be to maybe change the title. It sort of gives things away that the move is going to happen so we sort of know the position is given. That takes away a little of the potential conflict and makes the story feel more than just a conversation. Not bad but has potential to give a little more for the reader. Nice work with this story based off the Groundhog Day prompt.

Keep Writing!


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79
Review of The Cleansing  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: While I'm not a fan of vampires, the particular approach did make things interesting. I have some medical background and the approach with the return of something, just not the taking of energies/blood is a good idea. You have a creative character and managed quite a bit within the very short amount of words.

Prompt: This type of character is a little obvious from the prompt and the most popular. Even so, you did take the character a different route in how you showed the conflict with the misunderstood requirement.


Other Thoughts: Thank you for the different notes at the end and I like that you did it footnote style with the numbers. That does help and gives a good approach with the kind of information that may be unknown to some readers. Plus the name factor is just amusing to add that as the first note. Well done overall.




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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Greetings Kotori Tachibana Author IconMail Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: This is a good start to a story. For me, this is more of an idea and free write to feel things out but not quite the finished product. There is information about the character and some of the struggles. for the life of an atypical vampire but it's very much told to the reader. It has potential but will need some work.

Prompt: This does have the elements requested for the prompt since it required a classic horror character who isn't really the villain, just misunderstood. So, the vampire was an expected choice but one that does make it easy to qualify for the contest. With some work, this could be an interesting vampire for readers to enjoy.

Other Notes and Final Thoughts: While I have a number of thoughts, I am going to limit things here as to not go overboard in one review. If you ever want to chat writing, just send me an email and I'll respond as soon as I can. There are some technical elements you could consider but first I would suggest starting on some work on the tell versus show aspect for writing. I may not care for vampires, but I would have enjoyed the story more if I'd gotten to see things from Raluca's point of view instead of being told about her. And it doesn't have to be first person as third person can have more show.

It feels like the story is missing dialogue and action because of the current method to the approach in story telling. Will take some progress, but I think you can take the character and idea, work on the writing skill and come up with something many readers will appreciate. Sure there are many stories about vampires that aren't the horrible creatures of horror stories, but the character can give a reader a different spin they will appreciate.

Only technical point I would mention is maybe try not to have a really big block of text with the very big paragraphs or the lack of space between paragraphs. A little space will help for the online reader. Just a technical suggestion but will help with an easy fix of an extra return between paragraphs so something that is easier to execute.

Thank you for taking the time to attempt the prompt. I do hope you enjoyed the challenge and keep writing.


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Review of Doomsday  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings Beholden Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: I didn't know what to expect with this one. It did have something interesting going on, if I wasn't always able to follow the story with ease. The characters are something to catch a readers attention and the end brings things to a particular point.


Prompt: To be honest, I'm not the most knowledge on classic horror characters so that may have been a downfall for me as a judge for this particular prompt. I can assume it fits well enough to qualify for the contest but I wouldn't be able to tell someone how there was a known villain in the story that was misunderstood. Maybe a note at the bottom along with the prompt would help for those of us less knowledgeable on the topic would help.


Final Thoughts: While I might not have been the best reader for this particular one, I can appreciate the approach taken with the story telling. I also did like that you came up with something different. Even without recognizing the particular character used, it avoided the risk of overdone choices and that I can enjoy. Nice work.

Keep writing *Penw*


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings. PureSciFi Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: Nice to see some speculative fiction, in any contest, as that's my preferred approach. While I lean to fantasy over sci-fi, with your username and track record, I know what to expect and enjoy the unique approaches you take. This story is no exception to that and was an interesting read.


Prompt: While I am not aware of the deathbringer when it comes to "known" villains, it's easy enough to tell there is a reason for the choice based on the prompt. And it was a nice change compared to some of the other, over expected choices. In any prompt where there is something overly expected, having something different can be appreciated.


Final Thoughts: Overall, this was a good approach in using a character that is shown as one that others view as a villain or bad but that view is misguided. It's different, which I did like. I might not have always understood what was going on, but I could tell enough to appreciate where the story went. The downside, is that with the limited word count and type of story, you had to put in enough information to keep the reader in the loop without going overboard and risk the word count issue. Could use a couple minor tweaks, check out for weak word choices that could be made stronger. Still, it's well done. Good job.

Keep Writing *PenR*


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Review of Con-text  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: This one was amusing. And it's no surprise when I checked out the author name by the suitcase *Wink* but I tend to look at that last most of the time. The choice in character wasn't the most surprising but the approach made it work with the fun amount and use of context for the story.


Prompt: This took a very expected character and finding a different approach with the use of the prompt. This was a very amusing approach to both the prompt and the character. Made it easy to see the qualification for the contest but also gives room for other readers.


Final Thoughts: My attention was gained from the start. While the vampire approach was overly expected and not my preferred character, it was a great approach considering the prompt and not expected approach taken with the story. You found a way to make the character different and the story one that would stand out among the other attempts. Well done.

Keep Writing *Penw*


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings Amethyst Angel 🌼 Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: While the vampire character is not one I prefer, this story did have some aspects of character and moments where it caught my attention. Even with the first person point of view there is a development of character that some readers will really enjoy.


Prompt: While a vampire character is no surprise with the prompt, that aspect does mean it's easy enough to see the qualification for the contest. While there are a number of tales that show a not evil vampire, it was still a good approach and you managed to find a way to add elements to make it more interesting, which helps move beyond some of the "expected" territory.


Final Comments: The dog part is a nice little touch. Never would have thought to add the pet but it also makes sense. I would want my cat to come with me to into the different life if that was possible. The Dracula book comment is also amusing though may throw off some readers since it's breaks the barrier between the story and the reader. Sometimes having a character day "you" when they mean the reader, some are not fans of that but others won't mind at all. Nice work with the story you created finding a different way to use the vampire character and how you put them to be misunderstood.




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85
85
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Author Ed Anderson Author Icon

I am reviewing your story today for the official contest, "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the contest and making the attempt at the character presented by the prompt.


First Impression: This is quite the different take. While I was a little uncertain about the mummy aspect, since I would have thought the mummies are dead but can move, sort of, but that's okay. I appreciated the approach with the character choices and the personality brought into the mix. Plus, you got in some funny little jokes like the sunrise comment.


Prompt: You managed to get a number of characters within the short story that would qualify and okay, sure one is the villain but not all were. Time travel person, vampire, demon, wizard, oh my... *Wink* I liked the approach because you were able to put personality into the point of view character while also giving a different approach than one would expect from a typical, not as surprising choice: vampire. Nice work with the interpretation of the prompt.


Final Thoughts: Overall, this was a nice approach to the challenge with the character contests. You managed to get an interesting cast within a short story. It does have a lot going on and might have benefited from a few extra words but in the end, you did well.

Keep Writing *PenV*


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings. H❀pe Author IconMail Icon

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the character focused prompt.


Initial Reaction: It is a nice start though minimal in story and word count. Though it does take a challenge to put something together in the micro-fiction range. However, with the potential of getting to see a non-villain side of known characters, it would have helped to get more.

Prompt: Considering the prompt, doing something related to the characters in Frankenstein does make sense. The story has the options of the monster, the master and the servant. There is even a video game that centers around the characters, Igor, though I don't think I played enough to see what the plot was set up for that one. While this isn't a particular character that comes to mind as a big bad guy, I do see the reason for the pick so no worries in qualification.

General Thoughts: This has potential but felt limited and a little lacking for me when it comes to story. I just wanted more. But I do really like how you started the story and hope that you had fun with the challenge of the contest.


Keep Writing. *PenB*


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello WriterRick Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as a judge for "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window. [E]. Thank you for entering the official contest with the character focused prompt.

First Impression: Vampire is something I did expect considering the prompt and the month of the challenge. Represented a challenge in a way, to pick that character out of the options. Viktor makes sense in the options and can see the prompt in how you approached the story, so that is helpful.

Prompt: The character prompt was a fun one for October with the "villain" becoming the focus with the indication that they aren't actually a bad person. With the requirement, this story fits well. Having the vampire from Transylvania be a misconstrued figure, one side characters fear but someone who is tortured due to the "curse" creates his own suffering. In the regards of the prompt and the contest, this entry works well and has some good potential.

Story Thoughts: Prompt part of story conflict was expected but also did make sense and does have more potential. The word count limit may have been a struggle with this story because we are limited on what we got to see of either character: Eliza and Viktor. Would help to get to see more of the story to build the case of why she was able to see past the fear and how they were able to fight the mistrust put into the villain stereotype. It comes off as a little more tell than show in the approach of the story.


Final Comments: Overall, it's a good start with room to develop. Hope that you enjoyed the challenge and the prompt.


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hi there, Jeff Author Icon

I am reviewing your item for "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+]. Nice work in the challenge that we've done over the year. It has been quite the challenge and we're making it to the very end at long last. Well done.

Initial Impression: It is a fun item considering the prompt and that the flash fiction was done in a single day due to the deadline of the contest. Gave me the sort of telling the story, stream of conscience to a degree. Not sure if that was the actual approach or how it seemed to go in my head. Could just be the first person pov that I don't often prefer but I do try to write that too.

Contest/Prompt: I do like the Writer's Cramp for the I Write challenge since there is a chance every single day each month for something to enter. Sometimes the prompts are a miss but that's okay because after 24 hours, they change. Some rounds get several entries and others just a couple, or none. The round you entered on the 18th had some competition. Occult day was a good prompt.

General Thoughts and Final Notes: There were some sentences that didn't quite mesh did come to mind as I read over the item but not that anything was particularly wrong. It did have some good sentences that stood out in the other way too. They helped to give the character a voice and personality. Good luck with a teenage is always a valid offering. It might not have won for the round but I'm sure the judge found it entertaining.


Nice work with the entries and the challenge.


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Review of Where is God?  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Greetings Weirdone-Back in the games Author Icon. I am reviewing your story today as part of "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+] since I posted my entry after yours in the forum. Hope that you are enjoying the challenge with entering contests this year for the site.


Initial Reaction: A good question with the title and could draw in a number of readers based off that point alone because they may wonder what approach this could take. Or may have concern but that can bring attention too. I wasn't sure what to expect from the title and the contest, but it made for an interesting approach then I got into the story with the characters. It wasn't expected in a good way.

Contest/Prompt: It is nice the religious contest has the option of following a prompt or going with whatever the writer has in mind. The universe prompt with the options to explain how faith works in the contest on a personal level is an interesting one too. I don't often look at the religious contests but I'm glad I got to check it out thanks to your entry. Your story will very much fit into the contest and I hope it does well.

Technical thoughts: The characters in particular are what stand out for this story, which make the most sense. Even though the topic is important too, with the discussion over the existence of God being a high point, it's what we see in the characters that bring the story to life. It's not as autobiographical as some people might go with this type of contest and it may be what helps the story stand out. The only technical thing I noticed as a reader is that some sections of the story felt a little rushed to me. Then again, there is always a word count limit so I can understand if some things don't make it in the story. It happens, often for me. Not that it doesn't seem complete, as it did work well as a story.

There may be a few readers who aren't too fond with some of the terms used in regards to the younger character. I know, working in my current field, that it can be a difficult subject. But it's also something that is authentic. While not "pc" it's also something that has been used at times, so it's understandable in the choice made for the particular story.

Final Comments: Overall, with the types of characters and how things developed to the ending point, you did a great job. The ending worked well and I'm glad you went that route. I wish you luck and hope that you enjoyed coming up with the story.

Keep Writing!

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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Greetings, {suserweirdone28:}. I am reviewing your poem today as part of "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+]. Hope you've enjoyed the challenge so far and keep putting up entries in contests here on the site.


Initial Reaction: You got quite the question created within the first lines and that will be bound to create some attention. I'm sure the start of the poem will be a good attention grabber for whoever comes across the poem. The short lines also make the poem move quick and to the point to bring the reader down the page to see what happens, which brings up the great point at the end. It is also fun to see the word choices for those that know the prompt.


Contest/Prompt: Well, this is an easy one considering we entered the same contest with the same day, thus the same prompt. It was quite the challenge with having to start every line with a letter from the alphabet. Despite that challenge for the poem in Writer's Cramp, it was also a popular day.


Form: The form is followed based on the requirements to start each line with the certain letter of the alphabet. A couple places are a little bit of a stretch, like the pause to put the x for the Gen X comment. However, the one thing that may cause a minor issue for you with the contest and prompt would be that I don't see the line that starts with the letter "K". Might want to add a line. You only have 25 lines at the moment.


Final Thoughts: I have a couple of other thoughts you could maybe consider. Just from my point of view as the reader but not anything that will change the results. While it's not needed, it may help for other readers (if you keep the poem in your port) to have a description of the form at the bottom or a link to the entry that explains the form. While not required, it does help if you get a random read to explain the form or influence behind the poem.

Overall, nice work and good luck with the contest.

*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi there, again. I am reviewing your flash fiction story entered in "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+]. I'm lucky in that I get to post after you often, probably because we both procrastinate a little each month with the challenge. lol


Title: It is a fun title. I like the play from the song, which many people will know. It was a good word choice too, adding Midtown for the end instead of trying to put in a different state.


General Thoughts: The title helped to give some expectations since there is a very real limit with the word count for story and character building. And you do a good job in that time frame to do the build up before delivering the punch. Well done. I had to chuckle at the end.


Contest: It is a fun contest even if I struggle with anything under 5,000 words. This one requires very short though not the shortest we have tried. The prompts are nice because they do stuff like the add a line. The one for this round fits in many different situations and in various spots of a story.


Final Thoughts: Nice work in the very short story. It's a fun little bit. Congrats on winning the round with this entry. *MedalGold*



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Review of Better Together  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Greetings. I am reviewing your story as part of "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+]. Ruwth was kind enough to email me about the forum posting for the challenge. So, I get to review this entry for the month.


Title: I like the approach with the title combined with the details in the description section. It works well together. The title in particular, it is something that really works overall.

Contest Comments: Having the contest posted at the bottom is also helpful but from you that's almost expected. It helps with having to run contests and such to know some things to make things easier for the random readers who check out. Knowing the prompt or reason behind the inspiration is always helpful. The contest has a good approach with the options for people to post and can see why it was a good option to appeal.


General Thoughts: From the starting paragraph, you have a good hook that will draw in readers who can relate to the way the essay goes. You do give good points in the topic. Community is very important in many arenas. It can be difficult for some to connect with groups or see the need. However, it can also be very helpful to many. Nice work and good luck. I can imagine that contest is a challenge to judge with the personal stories.



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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Jeff Author Icon!

Thank you for taking the time to enter the Weekly Quickie Contest back in June. Sorry for the delay in the review.


First Impression: Oh M G... You managed to make quite a quirky, nerdy story using the prompt of enemies to lovers with the view into the business world. From the title to the way the economic side in this story, it was a fun read while leaving the end to where people will want more.

Prompt: The prompt, as posted in the item description, was based on having enemies who become lovers within the story. You did well with the characters, showcasing in little words that the two had been rivals for years. Many Many years of going in circles to each other Having them come to terms with the feelings behind some of those moves in the story was perfect for the round.

Final Thoughts/Comments: I liked the story overall. Granted, there were some limits due to the word count with the contest but you did well in giving the story in that frame. I hope things get even better for the characters off screen now that they are past the rivals part. Sure they can still battle in the work world, that doesn't have to change, but they can have some fun together in private. Nice work!



Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Angelica Weatherby- July 4th Author Icon


First Impression: It is a good start. I know this contest isn't easy with the genres and the limited word count. While you keep it very short, on the other side, it becomes more of an idea than a full story. That is what I get here with this one. A peek to characters and an idea.


Prompt: The prompt of enemies to loves is fun and gave the potential for almost anything. You definitely got the characters quite right with the different of a KKK member and someone who they would have wanted to hurt instead of get close to them. It does read enemies without having to put a lot of detail to show that element.


Overall thoughts: You did a good attempt here with the story. While enemies becoming lovers is a common trope in romance, there are many different ways to show the enemies and choices to make for characters. You took a risk with the KKK character and it comes with something that will catch attention

Minor notes... Check out sentences like this one: "You and your people are disgusting me." It looks like a word is missing in the sentence.

With some development, this could build into something. I appreciated you making the effort to write something for the prompt.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


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Review of A Double Dog Dare  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Beholden Author Icon

Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie Contest.


First Impression: Wasn't expecting a sky diving story with the round but that was a fun element. This is cute and with more word counts, could become something more. We get a hint from the story but not a strong step into romance. Word count is limited due to the contest, so that probably influenced things a little


Prompt: Enemies to lovers was the prompt for this one. It was a different approach and choice for point of view to get the guy as he competes with what becomes the love interest. The competitive nature between them helps to match the story with the prompt, though I didn't get a strong enemies feel from flash fiction story as the reader. Still worked enough for the contest.


General Thoughts: I like the idea with the story but wanted a little more. I wanted to get a strong impression of their rivalry. With the limited space to show both that side and the romance, I know it's a challenge. Does have a cute moment with the challenge and what happens when they follow through. Then there is a desire for even more. I can't quite tell if there is a potential for romance between them yet, from this bit of story. Need more to get to that point.


Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie. Good Luck!


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Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello ruwth Author Icon.

My name is Dawn and I'm reviewing your item as part of "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+] since I posted my entry on the forum after you. Here are a few thoughts on the item you posted for the challenge and the contest entered.

First Impression: It helped to look at the contest first in order to see the source of inspiration. Nice that they’re is a contest where people can write about and express their faith. The prompt you picked was also a good choice even with the option to write anything for the open prompt. It will be nice for others to read about your faith and the hope that comes with it.

Contest/Prompt: The contest has some requirements with the topic and prompt chosen. It is nice with this type of writing to have the item/entry titled after the prompt. Everything looks good in relation to the contest and prompt chosen.

Comments: Nice work. I like how you were able to tie in the specific points from the Bible with your personal experiences and thoughts. It was a nice, personal expression that combined faith and hope.


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Review of This is Me  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Sumojo Author Icon

My name is Dawn and I'll be reviewing your item in connection with "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+]. These are just my thoughts since I posted my entry after you on the forum.


Initial Reaction: Nice work. I took one look at the contest and went, nope. Poetry is fun but have found it's hard for judges at times to see the music inspiration and add it being so personal, the topic didn't interest me. However, I did appreciate your approach the topic and the poem. It's personal but also relatable.


Contest/Prompt: Good on you for entering the site contest for the month. I like the contests and sometimes judge though there is always a challenge that comes along. This time the prompt was the song by Taylor Swift. It was one I'd never heard so I gave it a quick listen before checking out the poem. From what I can tell, you show the inspiration of the song. Antihero is interesting as the choice for the song (not your pick obviously, also found it interesting for the artist and word choice) but in the end, everything made sense.


Favorite Part:
Daily I dress, not just in clothes.
Put on a suit of stronger robes
My own true self I don’t disclose.
My true feelings I can’t expose.



Final Notes: Nice work. Overall, you've done well. The only thing I would suggest is maybe do a comb through type of edit and check the flow. I would look over the commas and other forms of punctuation. Nothing is flaring as wrong but a couple sections could be tweaked. The end, for example, with the first sentence of the last paragraph could use something other than the comma. It does fee appropriate to pause after the sentence but maybe : might work better. Just a suggestion.


Good luck with the contest and the writing challenge.



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Review of Brave New Work  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello PiriPica Author Icon. Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie contest for the June prompts. I appreciate every entry. Here is a review with just some of my thoughts as the judge/reader.

First Impression: I am always happy to see a story that includes a non-straight couple. While m/f is fine, as a writer of m/m stories, it does make me happy to see someone else entering the contest with the type of character I would write. So, that catches my attention right away, then we get to the story.

For the story, we get the rivalry within a very limited word count. Even in the quickie, we do get a little insight into the character, some backstory and the chance for more fun to come.


Prompt: The prompt for this round had to do with showcasing enemies that become lovers. It helps to have the prompt at the end of the story but even without that part, since I created the prompt it was something I could see. There is a little tell aspect to his annoyance about the other character. What you have works well for the contest and qualified with the prompt.


Other Notes: Overall, this is a nice approach to the story. It could have used a few hundred more words but even without that it is one that people could enjoy. It does seem a little strange with the cafeteria scene in a work setting but that's only because my only cafeteria experience was in school. I have seen in movies and anime that companies have cafeteria but maybe a little more information on the type of job might help it make sense to how the company had a cafeteria. Then again, can't base that much off my personal experience as even my high school didn't have a cafeteria.

The downside to the word count limit is that we only get to see the potential. When I say it could use a little more words, it has more to do with getting to see the shift. We get some paragraphs with the fooling around but there isn't enough space to show the backstory of his annoyance at the other guy and to see why things changed. Plus, we just get hints and not as much of the fun that will come later, hopefully. Not that it's wrong but just what comes to mind.

Good job with the story based on the tropes prompt.

Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


an image made for the contests I host and take part in that are adult orientated


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Review of The Dance  Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Team Weekly Quickie & Contest ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello PB Curtis Author Icon. Here are some thoughts on the store you posted in the Weekly Quickie contest forum.

First Impression: It is a nice story with potential that had a cute ending. I like the element of romance put into it though have some thoughts on ways to make the story a little easier to read.

Characters/Story: Since you had room, I would suggest maybe putting more detail into the story. Where you talk about her hair and the scents, that was a great moment. It gave more than just some dialogue or short actions in the short paragraphs of the story. It was a nice touch and brought to the ending, where the story held attention better.

Other Notes: Just a few thoughts on aspect of the story that you can maybe consider. A big one that would make it easier without changing any story element would be in how you space the paragraphs. Each time there is a paragraph, I recommend putting a space between them. It doesn't need to be big, just one extra enter before starting the next. That will help avoid it looking like a block of text and give the chance to develop the paragraphs further. With more detail on some to make them longer you can have varying paragraph lengths as variety also helps the readers.

For contests, it can help to add information at the end of the static item. Word count is one. I do appreciate you had the word count listed in the item. Another you could add is the prompt used and the contest entered. That's not so much for the judge but for people who might come upon your story and that way they know the inspiration.

I'm not a big fan of the colorful font in a story unless there is a prompt that required specific words used. The different font, in that case, helps the person find it in the story. If there isn't a noticeable reason, it comes off random and out of place. At least for me. I'm sure there are other people who like having the different things used and quirks in the story on WDC.



Thank you for entering the Weekly Quickie.


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for entry "Talisman" Open in new Window.
Review by Dawn Embers Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with I Write  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, Tinker Author Icon. I am reviewing your poem today as part of "Twenty-three in Eleven " Open in new Window. [13+]. These are just a few of my thoughts in regard to the poem and the contest entered. Hope that it helps and you are enjoying the writing challenge.


Initial Reaction: A nice poem with a good source of imagery and interesting use of words all within a short amount of lines. I even got to learn a new word as I looked one of them up to make sure I knew what it meant. Always fun to find a different detail in a poem to expand my horizons. I will admit that I think more of a necklace when I think of the word Talisman (the title) but the ring that it seems to talk about is a nice topic for the poem.


Contest: I like a good poetry contest. It isn't easy when given an open prompt. The ability to use free verse is nice because it allows you to do almost anything you want. I struggle with this one myself because I need some type of direction. A subject or a type of form to use, anything to help narrow things down.


Imagery: This poem does a good job in painting the picture of the item for the reader. We don't need every little detail. Within the short set of lines, the reader gets enough that they can see what is being discussed in their mind, both the physical elements and the other words added to give a more rounded approach.


Final Thoughts and Suggestions: Nice work with the free verse poem. The only suggestion would be to maybe consider the last set of lines. I appreciated the f trail in the last line of the first stanza. However, something about the r approach in the second comes off more as a stumbling block. It might just be my mind. Once I get through remains and start in on reminder, my brain wants to stop before the end of the sentence. Hard to say why but it was a minor struggle for me. Others probably will have no issues there.

Good luck with the contest. We're half way through the year of writing challenge. Keep on writing!


*Peng*Keep Writing*Peng*



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