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677 Public Reviews Given
678 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and methodical.
I'm good at...
Short stories; grammar.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy and Action
Least Favorite Genres
Horror and Melodrama
Favorite Item Types
Under 5k words.
Least Favorite Item Types
n/a
I will not review...
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Public Reviews
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126
126
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: super cute short story

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: matter of fact, whimsical, magical

*Telephone* Dialogue: funny but predictable after a while and dead pan, I expected Daryl to facilitate more quizzical banter with the wizard, comment on his clothes or something

*Suitheart* What I liked: the idea that magical creatures are commonplace among us

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Vogel State Park in Georgia
never been to Blairsville but yay for GA settings!!!

*BulletB* my first thought was that this was some kind of practical joke. Like being photographed on Candid Camera.
why would he think that? you only described her as young, having on a green dress and a funny hat, nothing too odd there...is she really short? have pointy ears?

*BulletR*That’s when I noticed the girl's ears. They were pointed.
could have mentioned that earlier...

*BulletV* “I won’t be forgetting you saved my life…
for there not to be any broken bones this seems a tad dramatic...

*Bullet* It asked me to be put it out of it's misery.”
It asked me to be put it out of it's misery.”

*BulletG*It sent my wand skittering out of my hand.”....“Yes, this thing here,” he continued drawing out a piece of polished ebony with a silver cap on either side
when did he recover the wand after being rescued? likely Willow found it for him?

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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127
127
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very detailed and thorough outline of a novel, basically the cliff notes

*Pencil* Storyline: tale of espionage and politics, with some magic thrown in

*Tiedye4* Characters:tons and I'm not completely sure of the relation of any of them to each other except the King is married to Isabelle and he had a tryst with Louisa; Consuelo and Bernardo are supposedly the brains behind what is going on but sounds like everyone is to blame and culpable in some way...;Maria, Carlos, and Benvolio: the conspirators?; Torqumada, the law

*Home* Setting: old Spanish country

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: deceit, conspiracy, plot to overthrow/insult/embarrass the monarchy

*Suitheart* What I liked: HOW you outlined your Crises;

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Carlos and Angelina get together to cement her interests. Louisa shows the earring to Brother Bernardo.
through Chapter 4 there still doesn't seem to be any physical action, just a lot of people talking and plotting; is that because there is no physical action or does the description just make it seem that way?

*BulletB*
The three are arrested.
who's the three? I get Teresa and her mom; Angelina the informant is arrested too?!

*BulletR*The king realizes suddenly that he and brother Bernardo are so depicted on one of the panels and the woman he shown raping is Louisa. He sees the earring he lost earlier. He panics,
does he panic because it really happened? sounds like he has a guilty conscious...but why?
.... The King visits Cardinal Mendoza, sees Bernardo and has a torrid tryst with Louisa....ok I see why (still think, couldn't he just have all witnesses killed and wasn't it common for Kings to have mistresses and women to be docile about it?), but now what's the earring have to do with anything, did King lose it in Louisa's bed during the tryst?

A few parting comments...
interesting story, gave it a 4.5 because even though it's more detailed than your other outline I don't see much/any of your personal thoughts regarding writing this story

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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128
128
Review of The Eagle  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: nice 'save the Eagles' stance poem

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: hopeful, imploring, sad

*Suitheart* What I liked:"I feel sad when I see one pass bye
Feeling in my heart it will probably die" painful, but true

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Look at the beauty of the sky
The eagle is priviledged to fly
Look/gaze upon beauty of the sky
The eagle is privileged to fly; 2nd line reads a little funny, may consider rewording

*BulletB*Once clean air is now badly polluted
This most certainly can't be disputed
Once clean air, is now badly polluted
This most certainly can not be disputed; or "the majestic gene pool has been diluted." or something, I just like the word 'diluted' ;-P

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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129
129
Review of Invisible  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very nice reflection on those we tend to ignore, whether it be the homeless or the abused or any number of individuals we may ignore on a regular basis

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: thoughtful, pensive, reflective

*Suitheart* What I liked: how this can be talking about any and everyone; how you switch it up at the end to show you're speaking of someone you know and not just describing peoples situations that you've never met

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*We spent years arguing and fighting
No answers while you were serving
Now you set there as people walk by
Most refusing to look you in the eye
these are the most telling lines of the poem, I like how at first I'm just thinking about random homeless people but now you tell me you have some sort of connection to the person? *mind blown*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
130
130
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in last weeks Fantasy newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: AWESOME poem, really digging it, totally deserves the ribbon placed upon it

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: majestic, heralding, euphoric almost, praising

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Then aurora phoenix brings,
Beating incandescent wings,"
"Legendary near and far,
This eternal avatar"
"Immolated on the pyre."
"Once the flames have come and gone,
Then appears the phoenix spawn,"

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Vanquishing the dark of night.
Vanquishing darkness of the night. or Vanquishing the darkness from all night.

*BulletB* It must gather wood and spice:
It One must gather wood and spice:

*BulletR*'Tis its place of final rest,
Where it sets itself afire,
this is awesome, reminds me of Dumbledore's bird

A few parting comments...
nice, fresh way to speak on the Phoenix, it's hard to do but your poem seems to gain momentum through til the end with no emotional drop off, very nice and difficult for me to do

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
131
131
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very nice...not quite 'prophetic' but legendary/story telling prose

*Suitheart* What I liked:how you set the tone, setting, and visual location of the piece and items you describe

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*The swallows return there even today
The swallows return, there even today

*BulletB*The insects always are their food supply /Gathering them from two rivers near by
The insects, a constant always are their food supply/swiftly, they gather them from two rivers near by

*BulletR*They will always return these marvels of love/
They descend from the beautiful clouds above
They will always return, these marvels of love/
They descending from the heavens beautiful clouds above

A few parting comments...
would be nice to know if this is fiction or based off of something, I assume it is considering the March 19th addition...

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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132
132
Review of Just Keep Going  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very short and sweet motivating piece

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Sharing your heart without hesitation
Giving your time without reservation"
Think of the souls you might have graced
With just a simple smile upon your face"
It really is amazing to consider the impact you may have on someone's life just from being happy/nice and yourself; I know these type of people touch me all the time and most probably don't know it.

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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133
133
Review of The Wishing Well  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: cute lover's tale

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: commiserate, reflective, love sonnet-ish, sad...but a little happy too, sorrowfully aware/happy

*Suitheart* What I liked:"I am making this trip holding the penny in my hand";
"I know the angels are lighting your path brightly/
Bending down in prayer my miracle held tightly"

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*I asked you if you were frightened because I surely was
You said you could go through anything because of love
I asked you if you were frightened, I know because I surely was;
You said you'd make it through anything, all because of love;

*BulletB*
We sat there on the old bench, and held each other tight;
Making the moments last, on that saddest of all nights

*BulletR*You said make a wish one more time just me and you
You said make a wish one more time, just for me and you

*BulletV*We both kissed this penny with so very much sorrow
We both kissed this penny, alive with such sweet sorrow

*Bullet*We both threw it in with love and dreaded the moment
no need to use 'both' again, it's redundant in two ways (you just said it in the previous line and we=both anyway; We both threw it in with love, and equally dreading the moment

*BulletG*Thank you for being there when my heart felt numb
Thank you for being there keeping me warm, even when my heart felt is cold and numb

A few parting comments...
adding appropriate punctuation would go a LONG way to making this piece easier to read, the premise is there but the excess words and like of visual separations continuously interrupts the flow

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
134
134
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: beautiful and eloquent prose on what sounds like true love then turns to true loss and sorrow

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: reflective, young, naive, whimsical (in a small way), expressionary, sarcastic, ironic

*Suitheart* What I liked: the mental images this poem conjured

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*He was wearing English Leather and blue flannel shirt
He was wearing English Leather and a blue flannel shirt; crazy you can remember his wardrobe....

*BulletB*Heavy make up on my eyes and rosy lipstick on my cheeks/

I was a city girl brought to the country by the man I love
thought it funny and superficial for you to mention the make up until the country bit, nice

*BulletR*He taught me how to shoot that day to help me to survive/
He taught me how to fish that day and throw them back alive
cuuuute, a country friend of mine taught me how to shoot! need to fish though....

*BulletV*He taught me how to sharpen a knife on the edge of a rock/
He taught me to understand the meaning of a sqawking hawk
was he Native American?! wow, that's REAL country, Walker Texas Ranger style, awesome

*Bullet*He taught me that the land is the closest thing to church/
He taught me God will listen even when you pray in dirt
very interesting, that 1st line can mean many things...

*BulletG*He taught me how to be strong as I watched him start to pack/
He forgot to teach me how to live when he didn’t come back
He forgot to teach me how to live when never he did come back; LOVE this ending, but it reads a little funny/choppy, maybe consider rewording yet keep the meaning.

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
135
135
Review of Irish Limericks  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks Poetry newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: i LOVE limericks, and you did great on these!

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: light and airy

*Suitheart* What I liked: the subject matter and how you were able to find the entertainment value of each subject

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*She cut off her tresses
To buy some new dresses
To wear to the Kildare Spring fair!
sounds a bit forced, is it common to sell ones hair? I've heard of donating it, do the irish sell their hair to shops like Asians for weaves?

*BulletB*But Pappy rose out of bed,
and said "I'M NOT DEAD!
I'm just feeling rather crappy!"
hahaha! had me literally chuckle

*BulletR*She was taken by surprise
and could not believe her eyes
When her toes turned green as her clothes!
cute funny twist on a seemingly harmless affair

A few parting comments...
limericks are usually automatically funny for some reason, 'comedic poetry' I call it

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
136
136
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks Romance/Love newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love the idea and theme, like how you use "fall"
if looking to expand this I would make sure to be more obvious with the use of the seasons, mention all four and describe love as you would the season

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Footsteps of gentle comfort belong to thee.
this line sounds out of place because of the 'thee', sounds too old school in an otherwise contemporary poem; if you want to write in old English then ensure the entire poem follows that style

A few parting comments...
i really think this is a creative idea with potential, look forward to finished product

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
137
137
Review of Gum In My Hair  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very interesting style and subject matter, not sure you really defined or touched fully on your bad habit, perhaps the point was to point out a similar bad habit from someone else?

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: it threw me off because it's not like any 'poem' I've ever seen, but you clarified things at the end by describing this 'stream of consciousness', which is exactly what it sounds like, glad I read it the correct way first time through; is this a common style or one you coined?

*Suitheart* What I liked: the unfiltered diatribe of thought that retells a story from a viewers perspective

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Sidda's mother, Vivi, tells Sidda
that she, Vivi,
figure a way not to repeat their names in such a short span

A few parting comments...
gave it a 3.5 because while it is good there is room for improvement that would require more than a few quick fixes

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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138
138
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: You drew me in with this piece, 3 very interesting characters already

*Tiedye4* Characters: Overlord/Benefactors, president, and AM (who I 'think' I like)

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: on the brink of war...or worse

*Telephone* Dialogue: spot on, very well written, how I hope to model my writing

*Suitheart* What I liked:" the temperature at which both Celsius and Fahrenheit put aside their differences and agreed it was just perilously cold.";
" as if Cauda himself were the pivot, not the Earth’s tilted axis.";

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*AM was not the kind to be phased by authority,
it took me a while to figure out you meant 'Anti Mage' consider revising this referance

*BulletB*cigarette he begun typing,
cigarette he began typing,

*BulletR* though a refusal would have been unwise on his part - and irrelevant for that matter.
well, Mr. Pres just went from sallow and pathetic to just plain mean and cruel

*BulletV* “The process of elimination provides us with no small degree of entertainment.”
ugh, why do 'Gods' have to be so....whatever they are

*Bullet*He had been chosen for.... his cowardice.
coward! that's the word I was looking to describe him earlier...well said.

A few parting comments...
I must say, this story of 'Benefactors' vs humanity is very intriguing

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
139
139
Review of Treat or Trick?  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks Horror newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

"“I asked you if you rested well.” His voice, still rich and velvety, now carries an edge of anger."
why is he all of a sudden angry?

Interesting read, the flashbacks and forth kind of threw me but overall I enjoyed the ride


Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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140
140
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks Short Stories newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: the fact you made this on my birthday was a good sign, and consequently, a good read *Bigsmile*

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: sad and somber, then violent and unexpected

*Telephone* Dialogue: I love the tough woman, meek guy characters, she was kind of a bully but he more or less deserved it

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Three times I ever so nicely asked you not to eat garlic before the show."

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* the joys Gillian and Karen, our dear children.
the joys, Gillian and Karen, our dear children.; I prefer a less obvious revelation of who Gil and Karen are; something to the effect of "Sadie felt her heart pang at the mention of their children" or just leave the reader with an open possibility of who they are/could be

*BulletB*Well that's the news from the Cream Bun Cafe, where,
I suggest a delineation/separation of sorts, this starting line threw me off

A few parting comments...
this was a great twisted tale, hard to make completely unexpected plot twists like that

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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141
141
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks Poetry newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: a very dramatic but matter of fact prose that will comfort any that wait for death...

edye4} Characters: death and the ill

*Home* Setting:anywhere

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: ready, content happy to meet a friend you know only at a distance till now

*Suitheart* What I liked: He unlike most Will not judge me He unlike most Will acceptme asI am; isn't that what we all want? I like how you personify death

A few parting comments...
I thoroughly enjoy this writing style as it so closely reflects my own, or rather what I aspire to be, amazing picture, I didn't even think to look for death in the background until after reading the poem

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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142
142
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!
Congrats on being featured in this weeks Poetry newsletter!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love how the title of the poem makes so much sense at the end

*Pencil* Storyline: odd case of selective amnesia

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: confused, worrisome, forgetfully random

*Suitheart* What I liked:"my own name has a room but I’m out in the hall.", uber cute and creative;
"to read them with my fingers like Braille users do.", smart, THERE'S the ingenuity!

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*but I can’t recognize my name to save my life.
but recognize my name? Not on my life!; spice it up a bit with more punctuation

*BulletB*It’s like name recognition is some great offense;
As if name recognition were some great offense;

*BulletR*I’ll approach it with calm and let panic abide;
those enigmas can run but they rarely can hide.
good way to approach life...

*BulletV*to read them with my fingers like Braille users do./And by doing so I catch a memory thief--/I remember my name now much to my relief.
and read them with my fingers like Braille users do./In so doing I catch a memory thief--/I remember my name now! Such a relief.

A few parting comments...
I can see a myriad of poems like this, ooo the possibilities!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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143
143
for entry "Cassi and Elias" Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: interesting little vampire love tale, you make Elias very mysterious

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone:random, mysterious, a little ditzy

*Telephone* Dialogue: there isn't a lot of substance in the characters' speech patterns to account for them falling in 'like' with each other so quickly

*Suitheart* What I liked: Even as she stared death in the face, there was something about his voice that seemed to calm her.;
the floor of her house rushed up to meet her.

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* the quiet streets of the Crestfaelyn, Illinois,
the quiet streets of the Crestfaelyn, Illinois,

*BulletB*Her shoulder-length black hair seemed to glow in the moonlight.
Her shoulder-length black hair glowed in the moonlight.

*BulletR*After the fight had been finished by the first figure fleeing for his life the second figure approached her.
no need to say the fight was finished when he's running away, bit redundant, maybe: It did not take long for the man who attacked her to flee for his life.

*BulletV*that he had a tattoo of a Celtic cross over one eye.
that he had a Celtic cross tattooed over one eye.

*Bullet*With that he ran through the alley with great speed that she had never seen before. Within seconds he was gone from her sight.
With that he ran through the alley with uncanny quickness. Within moments he was gone from her sight.; the first sentence reads a little odd for me, anyone can disappear in seconds, moments or 'almost instantly' are much faster

*BulletG*"Admiring the darkness."
ummm, wasn't she out late both times because she was working?

*BulletB*"Thanks." she said, it was beginning to get lighter out so, they decided to meet again the next night at the same place.
she never thanked him for the roses....

*BulletR*She had given Jenny the ringtone for Fergie’s song “Big Girls Don't Cry” She always let the ringtone play for a while before answering.
don't see how this information enhances the story

A few parting comments...
not bad, I would probably work on building a bit more character substance to make the reader feel for Cassi and Elias more; I liked the action at the end but it was hard to really care for Cassi's ultimate well-being, interesting attempt at a cliffhanger but why do people keep randomly attacking this chick?

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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144
144
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Suitheart* What I liked:“A ripple of nervous almost hysterical laughter chortled along the line of tribesmen leaning forward on their spears…”

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*but with all the men dead, what chance they had…
but with all the men dead, what chance did they really have…

*BulletB*“I see,” said the Prince….stroking his jaw…

“Tell me,” Koltar continued, changing the subject…
why the paragraph switch if Prince and Koltar are the same? it threw me off

*BulletR*
“A prudent measure…”

“May I ask what your interest is… in this woman?”

“SHE’S MINE!” Koltar all but screamed. “That’s what my interest is…, and her children are my heirs….”

“How could we have known?” stammered the chief in dismay…
talk about a dramatically random shift, I think it would have been more...ominous and less shocking had Koltar said 'she's mine' in a more subdued manner, it would have shown him to be more in control, and scarier

*BulletV*stammered the chief in dismay… surprised by the violence of the outburst…
indeed, i was most surprised by the outburst myself

*Bullet*Let the matter rest, spoke a voice from within. “Until tomorrow then,” he replied with self assurance, “and discovery of what the new day brings.”
that's it!? I would imagine the final conflict would be Volusia not wanting to return, I don't like this Prince, he's spoiled....then again maybe I just need to read the rest of the vignettes

A few parting comments...
nice non violent resolution....but I'm curious, does Volusia even want to return? if not that's a conflict in and of itself

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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145
145
Review of Dear Me (2013)  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: YO! super duper hate that I missed your big Decade blast but this here was in my review drafts and better late than nevermore (fun fact:did u know there are no other one word synonyms for 'never'? so says thesaurus.com)

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: irate, motivational, competitive

*Suitheart* What I liked:"The following is a customer complaint submitted to the Myself & I Consulting Firm in response to their direct mail solicitation on January 1, 2012.", awesome way/format to start this out, I wanted to do this but ended up not doing it partially because I didn't come up with any creative ideas, also good idea to link to previous years letter, makes me want to read that one as well

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*987 Broadway
New York, NY 10000
Google doesn't list this as a real address, would have been creative to use the address of a place you would like to go or that is important to you

*BulletB*if the Talent and Persistence modules (sold separately) were not purchased and used in conjunction with your Hard Work module.
ha! good one... you can't buy talent though! well...you can by classes to enhance your talents...so I guess yea you can buy talent...

*BulletR*neglected to mention that those deadlines would whizz by if those other modules weren't in place.
ha ha! such poor marketing...., course even if they were in place I bet time wouldn't slow

*BulletV*Nicholl Screenwriting Fellowship deadline came and went with nary a page written because I didn't have the Talent module to provide me with inspiration!
uh oh, and BOOooo I bet you had that talent module, sounds like you need the "Believe In Yourself" and "Anti-Procrastination" modules

*Bullet* I only finished half of my NaNoWriMo novel last year because I hadn't also purchased the Persistence module!
o dang...

*BulletG* The T.I.P.S. program has just one very simple rule: read & write consistently.
I LIKE IT! catchy acronym: check, simple rules/ideals: check, I smell a winner!

*BulletB*arbitrary deadlines for contests and challenges that they really don't care about?
what about the deadlines you do actually care about...?

*BulletR*they can set their own deadlines
o....ok

*BulletV*I wrote one screenplay and several short stories last year and why should I feel like a failure when I can celebrate the things I did accomplish?
whoooHOOO! go you! no such thing as failure in that sense....

*Bullet*subjecting myself to the T.I.P.S. program
HA! may wanna reconsider word usage there, subjecting....sounds an awful lot like 'serving time'

*Bullet*This is the Coke vs. Pepsi Challenge of writing programs
choose Coke! they are by far superior!!!

A few parting comments...
O. O. O! what IF you actually gave yourself a TIP or reward every time you do something

now I must brainstorm a more creative approach to my future Dear Me letters, maybe an ongoing relationship with a telemarketing/Ad/As Seen on TV/QVC rep and the real me

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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146
146
Review of In Praise  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: this is sooo totally adorably sweet!

*Pencil* Storyline:parent doting on their child, but in a non-annoying fashion

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone:excited, happy, blissful

*Suitheart* What I liked: "Each day is Christmas for my girl.";
"makes her cry and makes her cringe,
sears her heart with a hurtful singe.";
"I wonder what my life would be
had Stefany not been born to me.", what a blessing, great thing you don't have to wonder!

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue/red to make it clear)

*BulletG*My daughter lives the Christmas day
wish you had either mentioned Christmas in each stanza or left this phrase out; without it the every other Christmas stanza method sounds better; with it I think you should have labeled/titled the poem something to do with Christmas; as it is it's just disjointed in that it appears to be a random theme thrown in; I notice you wrote it couple days before Christmas but just reading it on it's own makes it seem random

*BulletB*I'm proud to say she's my offspring; that with each day her offering
I'm proud to call her my offspring;each day spent with her an offering

*BulletR*brings happiness to her surround.
bit of a forced rhyme, maybe: happiness brought to all she surrounds.

*BulletV*The selfish ways of this old world
The selfish ways of this cruel world; just seems to flow a little better

*Bullet*To give for her is a solemn art
adding a comma helps to set the tone/rhythm here; To give, for her is a solemn art

A few parting comments...
beautiful poem, wish my parents wrote something like this for/about me *Bigsmile*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


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147
147
Review of The Climax  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: ready to end this puppy before it's even really began!

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Ya-hoo!" or an "Oh my Goodness Gracious!"; I sincerely hope you utter one of these phrases while reading any of my work *Pthb*

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*
while reading this I decided, or rather my muse let me in on, to have Donieal 'kidnapped' by Ishabael, no one knows but him and his 'girl' friend (who gets knocked out); the mage throws some sort of crazy powder in his face that causes intense mental pain/anguish/confusion and he has to work his way out of it, whoo, for a second there I had no clue what I was gonna write about *Pthb*

A few parting comments...

I think it's interesting how we write out our conflict vignettes before we do the outline, I like it; helps provide some major bookmarks to work around;

this would have gotten a 5 had you provided some examples of exceptional final conflicts

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
148
148
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: gonna jump on the wagon that I'm sure has run you over several times by now and say 'change the font' but other than that, looks great! *Bigsmile*

*Pencil* Theme: nature

*Tiedye4* Speaker(s)/Flow: very good flow

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone/Mood: mesmerized, taken in/aback by nature

*Suitheart* What I liked:"my heart sings as they fly...bring tears to my eyes./In the presence of their absence,/my heart flutters with dismay...to kiss my tears away. "

A few parting comments...
very beautiful, love how you don't tell us you're referring to butterflies til the end

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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149
149
Review of Shadow  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey and WELCOME TO WDC! Hope you enjoy the site as much as I do.

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: VERY powerful poem, I can see why you were featured in this weeks mystery newsletter after being on the site for only a few days

*Pencil* Theme: coming to terms with our past

*Tiedye4* Speaker(s)/Flow: flows well, may flow better with less article use, I.E. "It is something only I can see,/Even in mid-day." sounds better as "something only I can see,/Even in mid-day.", use your words sparingly

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone/Mood: reflective

*Suitheart* What I liked:I am not afraid,
Nor am I delighted,
But instead I am, just what I am–
A girl who tries to fight it. ; hope you realize how powerful a statement that is, no one's perfect, but hopefully we try our best

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletB*The dark materialization,
That is always by my side.
A dark materialization,
always by my side.

*BulletG*To unravel all my secrets,
And a past I left behind.
unraveling my secrets,
the past I left behind.

*BulletR*For if I let this thing come in,
It will bind its chains to me.
For if I let this thing come in,
It's chains will bind to me.

*BulletV*But instead I am, just what I am–
A girl who tries to fight it.
But instead I am, just what I am–
A girl who tries to fight it.

*Bullet*It is not a substance of which I speak,
Not man nor beast alike.
love how you clear up any and all confusion as to what this 'thing' is; reminds me of my writing style

A few parting comments...
super intro poem! can't wait to read more of your stuff!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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150
150
Review of What I Did  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey! Congrats on being featured in this weeks Comedy NL!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: ahhhh, the tell of gas that effects us all at some point in time

*Pencil* Theme: gassing it out in a crowd

*Tiedye4* Speaker(s)/Flow: easy flow

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone/Mood: embarrassed, paranoid,....stinky

*Suitheart* What I liked:"I followed along, but tongues were wagging
I acted nonchalant as if it wasn’t me
But I’d farted so badly I couldn’t see" HA! not to mention the smell probably followed you

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*it just popped in my head when I saw the prompt.
what prompt was that?

*BulletB*Another one hit me, this one burned,.....
This was rapidly getting out of hand
o my....o dear, worse part is being able to relate *smh*

*BulletR*My pants were stuck; yep, to my crack
I’d be better off where I belonged, in the back
what a perfect rainstorm of disgusting events! I mean really....couldn't be more perfect if it were orchestrated

A few parting comments...
this would have been an amazing addition to the 'Awful poetry' contest

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..


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