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677 Public Reviews Given
678 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Honest and methodical.
I'm good at...
Short stories; grammar.
Favorite Genres
Fantasy and Action
Least Favorite Genres
Horror and Melodrama
Favorite Item Types
Under 5k words.
Least Favorite Item Types
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I will not review...
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Public Reviews
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: super....adorable (tired of 'cute')

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: dreadful, then hopeful

*Telephone* Dialogue: “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!” cliche but perfect for this moment!

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Sandy and Marsha were crying in the corner. The drama queens at their best.";
"Larry was dancing like an electrocuted chicken"

A few parting comments...
I get the same anxiety during 'optional' office pizza lunches at my small business, I'll be thinking hopeful thoughts like this entry next time ;-P

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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202
202
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: cute...though odd

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: annoyed then thoughtfully reflective

*Suitheart* What I liked: the incorporation of a carol into a 'normal/everyday' setting

A few parting comments...
it's odd that you only chose one day out of the carol to mention, would have been nice to have cameos from days 1-10 also

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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203
203
Review of The lost child  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: still with the recurring theme of "CUTE"!

*Suitheart* What I liked: creative use of multiple songs and movies

A few parting comments...
the "Walking in a winter wonderland" sounded a little forced and awkward, would make more sense to mention maybe after the family was reunited, I get where you were going with that though

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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204
204
Review of S. Claus  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey! Congrats on being mentioned in the Daily Flash!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: awww, heartfelt message from the man himself

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: sad, despondent, resigned

*Suitheart* What I liked: hopefully makes the reader think about how they celebrate with their own family, maybe people will try a little harder to make sure they and theirs appreciate what they have

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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205
205
Review of The Fun House  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: I usually hate scary stories but this has a very "are you afraid of the dark?" feel and I loved that series

*Pencil* Storyline: 3 unsuspecting kids make the mistake of their short lives

*Tiedye4* Characters: Kevin, Johnny, and Becky

*Home* Setting: a creepy old amusement park, aptly named the 'un house', no fun to be had here/there

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: childlike mischievousness at first, then pure terror, then sorror over children's disappearance

*Telephone* Dialogue: did good job of getting us invested in the 3 main characters, made it extra sad when they disappeared...

*Suitheart* What I liked: "The un House. I wanted to go home." almost wish you had named the story 'The un House', good stuff;

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* I started having doubts while a strange sensation crept through my body.
I started having doubts as a strange sensation crept through my body.

*BulletB* "Gimme some light," I said after sitting down...After watching Johnny and Becky slide into the landing area,
bit of a time lapse, he sat down but there's no mention he slid down like Johnny and Becky

*BulletR* My feet pumped as if my life depended on my speed.
maybe some reference to the other bikes here, such as "I was in such a frenzy I didn't even check for Johnny and Becky's bikes", but you mention the police/searchers finding the bikes later so perhaps that's sufficient, just seemed like a time lapse/lack in story

A few parting comments...
the picture really adds to the story, I'm glad you didn't have the kids found all bloodied and mangled, better to let us stew/wonder about what happened to them...very creepy

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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206
206
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very honest and thorough depletion of emotion through writing

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone/Mood: honest and in a way complete, I feel like if I don't know everything you thought and felt at the time I have about 90% of it

*Suitheart* What I liked: that I could relate to the anger at the end

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*we had got back to soon.
we had got back too soon.

*BulletB* I told my dad mom doesn’t seem well
I told my dad "mom doesn’t seem well,"

*BulletR* The worst day of my life, still the memories remain intense.
The worst day of my life, still the memories remain intense.

*BulletV* *stylistically*
as a free style poem I get it because that's all I do with poetry but if you're really interested in making it flow better I suggest making the stanza lines more even, give it a pattern like 4-3-2-3-4 or 4-4-3-2-4-4; I think after you step away from it and come back in a week or few days you'll automatically see some style changes to make, least that's what happens to me

A few parting comments...
lost my dad Super Bowl of 2012 this year and I still avoid thinking about it too much, I appreciate you taking the time to share this with the world, and with me *Smile*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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207
207
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very cute tale, since it's been so long since I actually watched the series it was nice to see what I remembered and which parts were your creation; last line sounds well thought out, nothing complex but a nice relax from the build up

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: dreamy, familial; like that it's set in a bedtime story setting

*Telephone* Dialogue: cute and loving, great to see Samwise in a fatherly position

*Suitheart* What I liked:"Samwise gathered his daughter close, as if she were still the only one." beautiful imagery that evokes emotion

A few parting comments...
good job putting your own writing style to a very...stylistically rich series

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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208
208
Review of Kings Kingdom  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

wooooow, very powerful, leaves me full of wonderings: just what were those things, surely there's magic involved, who killed the king?! but the ending also leaves me feeling satisfied, I still don't feel like I can be 100% sure that Fran is the 'better' sibling but it sounds like Nolan created whatever came to kill him sooo, he probably deserved it

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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209
209
Review of Stay  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love the prose, very well done, the description throws me off though..."watching her walk away" so then is the consistent "God please" line a spiritual pleading for a woman not to leave? because I read it as a prose/song/prayer to God, I like it both ways, prefer it the way I read it but it's interesting how different the meaning is if you don't read the title and description

*Suitheart* What I liked: the easy flow even though repeated lines tend to get old; "Forever is a day/Longing for tomorrow" best line ever!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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210
210
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: cute story about how we never truly grow up, old men are just stubborn boys at heart

*Suitheart* What I liked: "for channels, so remote.";
"Joe ran a combat plan;/he soon hijacked TV's remote,/tackling another man." hilarious! can easily picture that

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*but some days, in disjointed ways,/Joe rued his machismo.
this seems a little forced to me, why would he rue his machismo? it works though

A few parting comments...
great idea to write in response to an actual news prompt, very funny; also love that you added a small Ballad definition at the end, for poetry cripples like myself it's great to have such quality information readily available *Smile*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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211
211
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
this looks like a really cute idea, did you just do it once? I have to ask though, you said this was to earn gps to keep your upgraded membership, how do you earn gp by creating a contest? if anything you're giving a tone of gp away, what did I miss? ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
212
212
Review of The Witness  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Suitheart* What I liked: great build of suspense in such a short time

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* ...diverted Mikhaila’s attention just for a nano-second.
"...diverted Mikhaila’s attention just for a nano-second. "

*BulletB*took the opportunity to run to a boat shed just a few paces from where he crouched.
took the opportunity and ran to a boat shed just a few paces from where he crouched. or "near" where he crouched

A few parting comments...
not sure why Andino felt the need to run, surely Mikhaila would have been in the boat and off at some point *shrug* gripping tale, sad for Theresa and baby Andino :(

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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213
213
Review of Advent  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: Love how it's in the form of a tree! I learned a new word, great use of "mendicant".

*Suitheart* What I liked: love how it provokes thought and visual imagery of the nativity centered on Mary

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

Only thing that would have made it more creative/impressive is if there was a set pattern to the first and last words of each verse. I.E. first and last words of 1st and 2nd stanzas = 'advent' and last and first words for 4th and last stanza = 'fullness', that in and off itself is neat because they are like bookends, but would have been neat to see that pattern throughout, 'willing' almost does and can be counted in a way

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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214
214
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

very emotional (environmentally speaking) and straight forward; love the desent from the buildup the high that you start on to the lull and relaxed state, love the personification of the earth 'slumbering' after the 'restless'/'sleepless' nights

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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215
215
Review of Expected  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: i must say, this is one fascinating work of transcendentalism that I feel ill equipped to review, but I shall try my best

*Pencil* Storyline: a sky couple look at the world and like the reliable sequence of daily events until...the bomb doesn't drop

*Tiedye4* Characters: mr. and mrs. blue, the scarlet soldiers, the sleeping tiger

*Home* Setting: in the sky? above all of these things happening it sounds like

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: transcendent, above, removed from the action, looking down or on in a safe place

*Telephone* Dialogue: Mr Blue said, "the world is a recurring dream.", most interesting line, still not entirely sure what it means or how long their 'days' last; it's almost nauseating how...giddy they are about the predictability, as if the soldiers deaths and the bombings don't bother them in the least

*Suitheart* What I liked: "The last thing that Mr and Mrs Blue expected to see" ahhhh, very nice how the opening sentence ends up being literal and not facetious

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* an hysterical rush of traffic, and, to meet their expectations, an hysterical rush of traffic
only use "an" before an unsounded "h." like 'honorable' or 'honest' : a hysterical rush of traffic, and, to meet their expectations, a hysterical rush of traffic

*BulletB*"Now the bombs rain over far-removed cities," ....the fourth thing that they expected to see would arrive,...The last thing that Mr and Mrs Blue expected to see was a sleeping white tiger with a bell in its teeth.
I assume the tiger should have been bombed? also as the 'last' thing, is the tiger the fourth thing coupled with the bombs or a fifth thing on it's own? doesn't really matter I suppose, just how I read it was kind of trippy

A few parting comments...
love the piece, first piece of abstract art I've read in a while and feel like I understood more of the cues than I would have say a year or two ago, nice!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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216
216
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!


*Reading* Initial hook: bizarre 'coming of age' story with a ...not quite a 'twist'...more a 'roll'

*Pencil* Storyline: young girl is woefully unprepared for this next step in her young life

*Tiedye4* Characters: Kim, the headless girl; Trevor, love interest, though he can't be really nice if she thinks he'll just laugh at her; Carl, red headed lil bro that needs to sweep his hair off the bathroom floor; Mrs. Blaze, understanding English teacher; Ms. Sparks, understanding nurse; Mom, easily excitable, not very dependable in a crisis; classmates, cruel little kids...

*Telephone* Dialogue: oddly normal, at first I thought maybe this story was set in a weird/magical/bizarro world where zombies and other strange things happened all the time

*Suitheart* What I liked: "it rolled into the corner of the bathroom behind the toilet, and you know how the mung builds up back there." easy description that almost made me gag, I do know the nastiness of which you speak;
"There was just a nice, neat cross section of muscle, bone, tendons and little veins" that's nice, I often wonder that when dealing with headless characters;
"I’ll go get the duct tape.” hahaha! fixes EVERYthing;

*Tools* A few comments/suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* ...we were going to have to pour her into a tub of Tylenol #3.
...we were going to have to drown her in a tub of Tylenol #3. or we would have to give her an IV of Tylenol #3.

*BulletB* and shook my head between my hands.
i wonder if she physically shook her head or manually did it with her hands....just a thought

*BulletR* my scrabbling fingers managed to grab only a tuft of hair before it toppled off my shoulders
so the head was so heavy and/or moving so fast that the tuft she grabbed either got yanked out or fell through her fingers? it's a small detail but caught me up short, probably better to just have her scrabble for it and just miss it instead of grabbing anything

A few parting comments...
tell me, this idea had to come from the old adage "you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached" HAD to!; love the dedications at the end

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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217
217
Review of My Psalm  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very nice! a great method of reflection and communing with God

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone/Mood: reverent and honest

*Suitheart* What I liked: how you made it your own while maintaining the flow of a Psalm

A few parting comments...
can't really suggest changes because it's such a personal expression of self, for clarity sake maybe revise the use of so many ellipses and use other punctuation instead

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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218
218
Review of Cafe Kringle  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey! Congrats on winning the Daily Flash!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: Santa look alike has some fun at a spoiled child's expense

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: funny, light-hearted, fake story was espionage in nature

*Telephone* Dialogue: Chris sounds like he tells stories, or lies, for a living

*Suitheart* What I liked: the easy flow

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Sean called to the proprietor
not sure of the final word count but could you have put in "called to the cafe's proprietor", the stew reference at the end caught me off guard, but then I got it from the title

A few parting comments...
great seasonal story in such a short span, thanks for sharing!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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219
219
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
is there an updated version of this around? wondering what are the most popular keywords searched on wdc today....
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220
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: Great ghost story, not too happy but not very sad either

*Pencil* Storyline: There are no accidents in the spirit world either, a ghost crosses paths with the right person during the "wrong" time and gets a promotion out of it

*Tiedye4* Characters: Delores, a special lady from a spirtual family; Amelia, the ghost; Mr. Marley, the surley ghost of Scrooge's friend; drunk college student, that has a slight affinity for the supernatural

*Home* Setting: London today mostly and a bit of an 1843 cameo

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: festive, spirtual in the sense that the veil between this world and the spirit world is thin for some

*Telephone* Dialogue: very well done, get an easy sense of each character

*Suitheart* What I liked: "She sighed and waited for the inevitable swirling...The time was in direct relation to the mass of whatever object passed through the ghost's ectoplasm" NEAT! love the ghost logistic details, like vamps and werewolves, no two stories/types have to be alike or slave to the same rules; "Ghosts cannot read minds, but the occasional accident occurs and the two beings register something about the other." great explanation of why some people feel unknown presences and/or just extra sensitive to the spirit world; the non coincedence of Delores and Amelia meeting; the Christmas Story tie-in was superb!

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* She glanced at her continuum positioning device...Even CPDs had to follow a given time stream.
capitolizing "continuum positioning device" would have made it easier to understand the acronym later in the story

*BulletB* ...the huge tree, filled with lights.
I just want to caution you, for the writers cramp some judges will disqualify you for the comma after "tree", best to just type it EXACTLY how it is in the original prompt message

*BulletR* By the time Amelia had been born the cutting of trees for mere decoration had been criminalized.
sooo, she was born after 2012? that would have been an interesting tidbit to know for sure, specially since she got a job as a ghost of christmas past

*BulletV* My name is Delores Melbourne. I hope to see you again.”
only thing 'off' about this exchange is that Delores called it a family tradition that two of her uncles started, it would have been even better if Delores and Amelia were related

*Bullet*“Well, Delores, I hope you had a wonderful week.”
this ending is a bit unclear, is Delores now a Valkyrie also or is it Amelia's job to train her as a new ghost or both?

A few parting comments...
awesome story line, would love to see it unfettered and flushed out without the word limit, or even better, with the limit if possible

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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221
221
Review of Egg  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very cute, love stories/poems about inanimate objects!

*Suitheart* What I liked:"It is broken and beaten/Before it is eaten" just flows so well

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG*Before it is eaten/Yes! The poor fellow
nothing in the poem made it sound as if an egg was telling its' story, it could have easily been told by a chef or eggotistical fan (i know, I know)


*BulletB*That a simple thing like egg/Can also be put up for a show.
you had me, right up until the end; it's really just the very last line, I have a hard time finishing poetry but maybe something to the effect of "can put on a very good show" also there are a ton of things that rhyme with "know" so you have your pick of great final lines


A few parting comments...
overall great and cute piece!

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
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Review of My Wife's Escape  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review!

Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: love it! totally relatable, I too have am having an ongoing love affair with Rico, my 2010 Corolla *Bigsmile*

*Pencil* Storyline:man scopes out the competition, see's he doesn't measure up and decides to go get himself a mistress

*Tiedye4* Characters:hubby, wifey, Burt, and Sally

*Home* Setting:mainly house garage

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone:jealous, envious, curious, acquiescent

*Suitheart* What I liked: "was almost as tall as me, long, sleek, and seemed to be all fine lines and contours" that actually made me LOL *Pthb*;
Burt has "intelligent" four-wheel drive. I can't compete with this. Not only does he look good, but he has brains too!

A few parting comments...
be honest, did you REALY get a Sally?! *sigh*
this is how all car ads should be written, somebody give this man another job! *Bigsmile*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
223
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Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
wow, really short cute and sweet. was this for a contest? if not, kind of random and short but nice, a million and one questions: what are Zircons, how many alien species are on Earth?, where would one find a zeclodium field? how did Mythos and Mason know what horses were like? did they have to touch them first? ok all random questions, but still really enjoyed the story!
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Review of The Silent Dancer  Open in new Window.
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: interesting ghost house concept, reminds me of the scene in Anastasia where she's singing and the viewers are transported back in time with her to the magnificent ballroom scene

*Pencil* Storyline: a random wanderer stumbles upon a house with a wispy occupant

*Tiedye4* Characters: ghost dancer and the wanderer

*Home* Setting: really old really huge Victorian house with a ballroom

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: majestic, wandering, wondering, nostalgic

*Suitheart* What I liked: "You realize that she is the spirit of the house, of it’s secrets and stories."; "Her bottomless eyes, full of secrets, seem to bury themselves into your very being."

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:

(Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear)

*BulletG* It is a tall and once- beautiful house, a Victorian era house made of wood and stone.
It is tall and was once- beautiful, from the Victorian era, made of wood and stone.

*BulletB* But now, the stone is crumbling, the wood is all but decayed, the roof nearly nonexistent.
Now, the stone is crumbling, the wood is all but decayed, the roof nearly nonexistent. You already said it was 'once beautiful' so no need to begin with "But"

*BulletR*Almost all of the windows are broken....with huge windows, nearly all of them cracked, broken, or gone now
you mention the windows twice, careful of needless descriptions and repetition

*BulletV* You can almost hear it now, can almost see the people in beautiful gowns
You can almost hear it now, almost see the people in beautiful gowns avoid repetition

*Bullet* Her bottomless eyes, full of secrets, seem to bury themselves into your very being.
Her bottomless eyes, full of secrets, seem to burrow themselves into your very being.

A few parting comments...
awwww, feel bad for the ghost lady at the end, but would she even be able to leave? maybe she just needed company, *sigh*

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
225
225
Review by A*Monaing*Faith Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Please remember that these are just my thoughts, at the end of the day whatever you decide is the right answer!

*Reading* Initial hook: very cute and interesting ghost story

*Pencil* Storyline: ghost girl finds solace in the woods

*Tiedye4* Characters: ghost girl; flautist, ghost boy; the tree killers

*Home* Setting: a beautiful yet cursed neck of the woods

*Butterflyb* Atmosphere/Tone: dark and sad and mournful and destructive until part VI, then it's beautiful, musical, and happy

*Suitheart* What I liked: the imagery, the mystery of the flautist, the 'save the planet' overtones

*Tools* A few suggestions I had:
would have been nice to know how the girl died, especially if it was pollution related...or a felled tree fell on her or something

A few parting comments...
interesting choice to seperate it into parts, but be careful not to make the parts so small that the seperation seems pointless

Hope this helped! Great job on a great piece of readable art!!!

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" Open in new Window..
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