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My thoughts released; a mind set free |
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These pages contain my thoughts, from meandering ideas and persuasions to deep cerebrations and serious mentations. Why, for what purpose? To release my mind and set creativity free. Somewhere inside the constraints of my mind dwells a writer, a poet, an artist who paints with words. In here I release those constraints and set the artist free. Perhaps, lost somewhere in the depths of thought, is a story or a poem, waiting to be written. 
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| Saturday is about shot, time for me to head off to bed. This extra running sure does bite into my time for doing things, as well as into my bank account to pay for the extra gas. We went through this most of the summer, and finally had it working good for us. But it didn't last long. First of all, we are down to one vehicle, so we are putting a lot of extra miles on. Rhonda drives me in to work in the morning then comes home until it's time to pick me up. Her shift is right after mine, so she goes to work and I come home for the afternoon, then have to run back in to pick her up after her shift is done. This takes just over an hour, round trip. That alone bites a chunk of my time off, but I have to watch the clock so I can be there on time, and that prevents me from starting a lot of things. Then, besides the time it takes to drive in, there is the wait for her to get done and out of work. This can take up to a half an hour, and often does. Hopefully we can get the van back on the road again pretty soon, but money is tight right now, and it's going to be kind of expensive to fix it right. I may just have to rig up some temporary running lights and Jerry rig things so we can get it back on the road. Then, I can pick up the parts here and there as we can afford them, and when I have them all I can instal them so it looks a little better. I still haven't even looked at it to see just how sever the damage is. I know the grill and both headlight assemblies are gone. I think the radiator is intact, but the A/C is wiped out, and there could be some other damage to fans and items mounted on the front of the engine. I was going to look it over and get things started, but it turned so cold and hasn't really warmed back up. Also, we had an old Golden Retriever who was nearing her end, so I didn't want to take any time away that I could spend with her. Then, after she passed away, we adopted another dog to help our other Golden Retriever deal with his loneliness. He had never been alone before; ever since he came to live with us at six weeks old, he has been around Klarissa. The few times he stayed home when she came with me, he went bonkers. Even then, he was not alone, he had human companionship. But, even with someone with him, he would pace and look for his friend. Now, she is gone and we have to work, so he would be all alone for the first time in his life; we couldn't put him through that, so we adopted a young female to keep him company. They get along alright, but he doesn't have much to do with her. He interacts a little with her, but very little. He is grieving, and still trying to get over his loss, we all are. I do think as time passes, he will become better friends with this newest member of the family. |
| Friday evening; I got in here a little earlier tonight. We are just about to eat supper, then it's a little television and off to bed. I have to work early again tomorrow and I'm already feeling kind of under the weather. I'm not sure if it's lack of sleep, or just coming down with something. Friday night -- in times past, I would be out on the town having a blast. Of course Saturday mornings usually reflected the damage of the blast I had the night before. It's been a long time since I went out on a Friday night, or any night for that matter. I can't say that, though, we do go out for dinner from time to time. Maybe it's time to start thinking about doing a movie or something once in a while. Part of the problem is the cost to go out. It's just cheaper to rent movies or watch something on Netflix. Another problem is I just don't care to go out drinking, and most of the places that have a band are more geared to the younger generation and don't play anything I really care to listen to. The biggest problem has been work; getting up at three in the morning really puts a damper on doing much of anything the evening before. This past spring, summer, and fall it was work every day, too. Now, we are short one person so Rhonda and I do not get days off together, again. We at least get a couple of days off each week, but not the same days. Hopefully we will have another hired soon, so we can get back to having a couple of days off to enjoy together. The final problem we had was Klarissa. She had gotten old fast this last year and a half, and after the wonderful years she gave so much of herself to us, it tore my heart out to leave her at home for any reason. She would sit and look, waiting to come with, but too old to wait in the vehicle when the weather would permit, and of course, when it was hot out, or cold out, she just couldn't come with if it meant waiting for us. We did get a nice trip to Itasca State Park, and enjoyed a nice fall outing. We also made it to Oak Wood Park about mid November, and Klarissa really enjoyed the afternoon there. That was the last good week we had, and I'm glad I had a full crew so I could take most of that week off. Now, we have Hanna, a new dog, and we are working on obedience training and getting her settled in. I'm not sure how she will do staying home with Hyko, our Golden Retriever, but hope they will do alright. Hyko is still grieving Klarissa, they had been best friends ever since we brought him home. Supper is ready, time to eat and then a movie or something before bed. |
| Thursday is all shot to hell now. It's actually past my bedtime, but I was watching a movie with a good looking brunette and just did not have it in me to stop. That's the problem, you see. I enjoy my time and just hate to see it run out, so I end up staying up later than I should so I can try and enjoy a couple more minutes before bed. I have been like this for a long time; ever since I can remember, I hated to have my time run out. Now, if I didn't have to work in the morning, it would be different. As a kid it was school, I hated to go to bed when I had school the next day, preferring to stay up and enjoy every last minute I had left. Oh well, I suppose I will stay this way, at least until something major happens. If I had a job I looked forward to and enjoyed fully, I would probably be able to break this part of me. Say for instance if I was writing from home. Then, things would be so different, and I would not have to stay up to enjoy every last minute. In fact, I may even find myself wanting to go to bed so I could get a fresh start the next morning. Well, maybe someday, but for this day, I have to get up in a few hours, so I reckon I better make myself go to bed. |
| It's almost time for me to retire to my warm and snuggly bed, again. I't only eight-thirty my time, but when you get up at three in the morning, eight is getting -- late. It's been cold, not just here, but all around us, too. It's January and February cold, not November and December weather at all. How cold is cold, well for us here, it's been single digits above zero during the day, if were lucky. Often it's been closer to zero. At night, it's been dropping to ten below zero on the good nights, and closer to twenty below on the colder ones. Being South Dakota, there's always the wind to contend with, and that's been blowing hard, often around twenty miles per hour, dropping wind chill temperatures around twenty to thirty below zero. It takes a lot out of a person, working in the cold. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally, too. And of course, the wind also dries the skin out even more than the normal dry winter air. It's left me feeling wore out most days and ready for spring. But, spring is a long way off yet, so I need to find my motivation and get things going. we are fastly approaching Christmas, and I need to get my holiday cheer going, too. For now, however, it's time for me to settle in for a long winter's nap. Alright, about six hours of sleep tonight, so a short winter's nap. Maybe that's the problem, too; just not enough sleep during the week. |
| Looks like I missed it tonight, I didn't get in here soon enough. It's only a little after eleven here but after midnight at WdC. This also ends my two days off this week, but I will have two more next week, too. And the way it's looking right now, three days off the week of Christmas. I do have to try and get someone hired, so Rhonda and I can get the same days off again, but it's going to be kind of difficult until after Christmas. Well, it's time for bed; past time actually, since I have to be up at three in the morning. |
| It's getting late so I better get this written. In about eight minutes it will be midnight WdC time, but only eleven here. I had a busy day and got a lot done. I had hoped to get more time to spend in here, but it just did not work out that way. Even so, I had a good day, and I got a lot accomplished. I did some rearranging and got most of my word done so tomorrow I don't have to do any work. I may work on a few things, but I don't have to. I may just spend some time getting some other things done instead. I'll wait for the morning and see how I feel. Who knows, I may just take the entire day for myself. For now, thought, it's time to retire for the night. |
| Another day about done. It was a little warmer, but hard to believe temperatures of about five above zero seem warmer. But after the below zero temps and wind, it did seem a lot nicer. Tomorrow it's back into the deep freeze again. It's just too cold for this time of year, and it's lasting way too long. This is more like January and February weather. I had a better day today, feeling better, not so tired, and just not so sad. I think getting some better rest has a lot to do with it, but I also feel I'm adjusting to the loss of my dear friend and companion of the last twelve years. I hope to right something in her honor once I'm over the grief a little better. It's hard to believe a pet could leave such a void, but then, she was anything but a typical pet. It's about time to go get Rhonda from work, and then relax for a little while before bed. We don't have to get up so dang early tomorrow, or Tuesday, and I'm off for both of them. I'm ready for a couple of days off, too. I was suppose to have Saturday off, and in a way, I did. I didn't go in to work, but did have to do some running and work from home as a result of someone not showing up for their shift and not calling. But, she's gone now, and probably for the best. At least I think so, she just didn't want to work, and I feel it would have only gotten to be a bigger problem with more time. Better she quit than to have to put up with someone who isn't reliable. Now it's just a matter of time until we find someone to fill the position. For now, I'm going to go spend a little time with my new friend, a young dog rescued from the animal shelter. She's sleeping by my feet waiting for me to get done here and spend some time with her. |
| Saturday morning, been up since a little after three. I'm waiting for the phone to ring, and hoping it doesn't. That probably doesn't make much sense to anyone other than me. I have a person quitting, she put in her notice two weeks ago today, and today is her last day. She already called in once and missed a day she was scheduled to work, right before Thanksgiving. She has also indicated she doesn't really want to work, and I'm sure that has a lot to do with her resignation. Today is very cold, -17 degrees and a 5 mph west wind, so not the nicest day to be working, especially outside. Therefore, with all things considered, I'm apprehensive about her calling in today. That and the fact that it would mess things up for me, since my day is already planned out. Rhonda worked for me this morning, so I could take the day off. I've been having a difficult time grieving the loss of a wonderful friend, our Golden Retriever Klarissa. I'm also not feeling the best, may have put my shoulder out of place, and am suffering with my asthma some. I suppose stress is part of it, the rest is the bitter cold. This morning I got up with Rhonda, around three, as I said. I took her to work, since we are down to one vehicle again, then came back home and plugged it in, just in case I get that call. Later this morning, I will drive back in and pick Rhonda up, then do a little shopping with her before returning back home. We enjoy shopping together, but don't get many opportunities, and will have even less now that we are short a person, again. So, I'm hoping I don't get called at all, but anticipating it; better to prepare for the worst and not need to, than to not prepare at all, and get the worst. Did that make sense? Anyway, it's time for me to get busy, maybe I'll write a bit more later. I made it back in for a little while before I start working on dinner. I did not get a call from her saying she would not be able to work, so I drove in to pick up Rhonda and do some shopping. I waited for twenty minutes, then went back to the guardhouse to see what was up; sometimes if it's busy, the exiting guard stays on until traffic slows. But this was not the case, Rhonda was still working, the other guard did not show up to relieve her. It's warmed to a negative seven degrees and the wind is blowing, and she decided to not show up for work, and to not call in, just leave another person cover for her. Ungrateful, that's all I can say. It's not just the no show, it's the fact that both Rhonda and I have gone out of our way to help this person, given her rides to and from work, supplied her with snacks and water, and this is how she repays our generosity. Of course, she would have thought I was working, but even if I had been there, Rhonda would have been called in to take over. I was already there, but not in uniform, so I could not relieve Rhonda. I did go buy her a hot lunch and offered to run home, change and come back in so she could leave. But, she said it would be dumb to run all the way home, change, then run all the way back to work for about an hour, hour and a half. She's right, of course, it wouldn't make sense. Well, since I'm back home and Rhonda told me not to come back until it's time to pick her up this afternoon, I'm planning on making her a nice dinner. I won't be able to finish it until we get back, but I can start the beef tips and gravy now, so they can slow cook and be ready when we get back. |
| Just about time for bed -- well, actually, past time for bed. When a person gets up at 3:00 a.m. bedtime comes pretty early. Or, at least it should come pretty early. Unfortunately, I tend to be more a night person, so this is the time I get to waking up and rearing to go. Not tonight, though. Tonight I'm beat. I haven't been sleeping the best which has left me pretty tired. Add to that the bitter cold we are in, with stiff winds and windchill temperatures down around thirty below and it's easy to see why I'm so tired. But it's more than physical, I'm zapped emotionally, too. My wonderful Golden Retriever, Klarissa, passed away after twelve faithful years of taking care of me. She was born in December, to my daughter's dog, and she was the greatest gift I had ever been given. She didn't quite end up with me by Christmas, but shortly after. I had my eye on a couple of other pups, but wasn't quite sure I wanted another dog. I had divorced a few years before, after twenty years of being married. I was raising three teenage children, two boys and one girl, and was trying to find myself someplace in the spare time between being a father, mother, and working in a sawmill about fifty hours a week. I had a couple of girlfriends, but that had not worked out worth a damn, so I had decided to give up on romance and focus on raising children and finding myself, lost some twenty years before. This is the time when a very determined puppy decided she did not want to be with the other puppies or her mom, but instead with me. She climbed out of the closure and tried to make it up the steps, but was just too small to scale them; she cried and cried until I woke up and got out of bed to investigate. I put her back in her pen and went back to bed, but I no more than got into bed than it started all over. I went back downstairs and put her back, again. This time I stopped on the step and watched. She waited till a few minutes, then with great effort climbed the fence panel and with a mighty leap, launched from the top onto the hardwood floor three feet below. She was so tiny, I could hold her entire body in one hand, and to free fall that far was suicide for her. Well, there was no way I could put her back and let her risk broken bones or worse. So, I took this four week old puppy to my room and tried to get her settled into a kitty kennel for the night. She would have none of it. So, in desperation for sleep, I put her on the bed and told her if she had to pee, to wake me. "If you pee on my bed, you will never get out of your pen again. Wake me up and I'll take care of you, but don't pee on the bed!" About three hours later she was chewing on my nose. I woke up, put her on a puppy pad, she peed and then tried to climb back onto the bed. I lifted her up, and she snuggled up to my hair, on my pillow, and was sound asleep. She didn't wake me again, and we had been almost inseparable ever since that night. a year ago she began to show signs of aging. Not normal aging, but of getting old. She began to be unable to do many of the things that had been a part of our life. I took that last year to try and give back to her some of what she had given me for twelve years. I now have another young dog, a Black Lab mix, who shows me many of the same things I shared with Klarissa. She is learning fast she does her best to help me overcome the grief and loneliness. She has a big void to fill in my heart, but she has done a great job of filling it already, and she hasn't been here for even a week. Now, along with grieving, I find myself giving thanks for this wonderful opportunity. Klarissa was one of a kind, and I never thought another could compare, but Hannah could be her sister, only she's black instead of yellow. |
| Still find it hard to believe I missed a day of journaling in here. Yet the calendar tells me I did not log anything on the the third, and I didn't get it in late on the fourth, either. That happens to me sometimes, it's still one day here but the next in WdC land. So, I log on the right day, but the date is for the next day. This time, that's not the case, I just completely spaced it out. That's what happens when you're preoccupied, I reckon. I have been preoccupied quite a bit over the last year or about that, anyway. Most of it was work, problems with employees, and things of that nature. Another preoccupation was an aging Golden Retriever who was very near and dear to me. She passed away on the first, after a very long year for all of us. Not suffering, as in pain, but in ability. She was young at heart, but old in body. She had to give up so many things that we always shared, and I know it was just as hard for her as it was for me to not have these wonderful moments to share. After she passed, our other Golden Retriever began to show signs of depression and we thought about getting another dog, to give him a companion. Of course, it also worked this way for the rest of us, too. We rescued a dog from the Humane Society and gave her a home. It did the trick, Hyko isn't acting depressed, but he is still grieving the loss of his best friend, which is healthy. We are all still grieving her loss, but even as we do, this young dog we picked up has started doing things that Klarissa used to do. At first it was just one little thing, then two, and eventually three and four. She has her own unique personality, but with it, she does a lot of the little things that I have missed so much over the last year. It's almost as if part of Klarissa has embedded into the Hannah. I don't mind. In fact, I find it very comforting that this new member of our family is responding so wonderfully. And even though she does a lot of the little things that Klarissa used to do, she does them in her own way, and in tune to her own personality. |
| Okay, how did I miss the third? I think someone slipped a day in here without telling me. No, I remember the third, it was my last day off. I sure thought I had written a little in here, but I guess not. I can see that happening, though; missing it, I mean. Not in a bad way, it was a good day. I was up pretty early, I had a relaxing day, and a full day. I just ran out of time before I was ready to. I spent a great deal of the day enjoying out new family member, Hannah. She is part black lab and part springer spaniel. I also enjoyed playing some games with Rhonda, as well as going for a nice walk. It was a nice day, warm and calm out, until later in the evening, when the snow started. Even then, it was light snow, and still not cold out. By the time we went to bed, it was getting a bit cold, the wind had picked up a little, and the snow was coming down faster. This morning was about the same, but by mid morning, the wind had picked up and the temperature was dropping. We must have gotten about six inches of snow before it let up, and now the wind is blowing very hard, causing a lot of drifting. Also, with the temperature down at five degrees, the wind chill factor must be about thirty below. Cold, bitter cold. It's suppose to stay like this through the weekend, the last I heard. Bitter cold with temperatures barely getting above zero. I took the dogs out and let Hyko play catch with the Frisbee, since we will not get another chance to play outside for the rest of this week, at least. Well, that's it for me, I'm tired, and I have to be up early. Have a safe night, and stay warm. |
| I had today off, as well as tomorrow. It was lonely here, without Klarissa around, even though it has been a long time since she really was her old self. Even though she was pretty inactive anymore, she would still have to come see me, and make sure everyone was alright. It's going to take a while to get used to life without her. We had to have a small fire today to get the ground to thaw out enough to dig her a grave. It was a nice day, sunny and warm, and she would have enjoyed being out in the sun, lying in the leaves and rolling. Even as we got the fire going I could see her bringing me sticks from around the yard and trying to do her part to help out. She would have enjoyed the fire, too. She loved to lie in the warmth, sometimes so close I was afraid she would get burned. She is in her final resting spot now, and it's helped to bring a bit of closure for Rhonda and I, but Hyko, our other Golden Retriever, seemed to be miles away. He has taken her passing very hard, and seemed to have lost touch with any interest in any of his favorite things. Even in play, his heart was not in it, and he soon just went and lied down. It was difficult to see him so depressed and lonesome, as it was to see Rhonda the same way. I know I have been like that, too. We had talked of getting another puppy to help Hyko deal with the loss, but we knew that it would not be good for Klarissa. She insisted on keeping me all to herself, and there would not have been anyway to get her to share me with another dog. But now, it seemed like it may be what was needed. I didn't want to pay a lot for a dog, when there are so many that need a home. So instead of calling breeders or looking in the paper, we looked at the humane society, and found a cute little gal named Lilly. She had been there for about five months and really needed a home. She is black lab and spaniel mix, very pretty, and a bit smaller than a Golden Retriever. She seems smart, attentive, and I don't understand why no one had taken her home yet. We did, and she is doing well. It will take a while for her to adjust to things, since she is used to living in a small cage, and she is not used to interacting with people much, at all. The lady who runs the shelter seemed to have taken a liking to her, and I'm sure she spent a little time with this young dog, but the guy there seemed a little rough and hard on her. She does not show any signs of abuse or neglect, but she does favor Rhonda and seems to be a bit afraid of me. I think she was mostly handled by the guy, and pampered a little by the lady. She seems to think I'm going to take her away from things here and maybe put her back in her little kennel. I do believe she will come around fast enough. She did not answer to her name, so we renamed her Hannah and she has learned it pretty well already. This indicates she may be a fast learner and pretty smart, too. She is pretty mellow, and doing well so far, we will see how the night goes, and then work with her a bit more tomorrow. |
| It's been a difficult day for us. Yesterday Klarissa was close to her end, but fought it with all she had left in her. She wasn't in any pain that we could tell, but towards the end of the day she began to cry out at times. I contacted a vet to see about having her put under, but they were all closed and wanted almost double to come in and put her down. If at all possible, we would wait for Monday, and if she still couldn't pull out, we would have her put down. We made her comfortable, but she would not stay on her bed. Everytime she would just about fall into a sleepful state, she would jump and begin crying out, then stumble to her feet and begin pacing. She was dying, and everytime death tried to take her, she would give her all and get her feet under her, then pace to keep herself alive. It was a very difficult evening, but we did what we could for her. We administered pain medication to keep her from suffering, and we also gave her a sedative to calm her outbursts of crying and calling out. We stayed with her, held her and l lie down by her. We caressed and hugged her, talked to her, and comforted her to the best of our ability. Finally, we put her on the bed with us, made her nice and comfortable, and tried to get her to sleep. around midnight she did fall into a deep and peaceful sleep. At one this morning she began crying out, convulsing, and then died, all within less than a minute. Her agony was over, and she was able to pass from this life in our company and with our compassion and comfort. It's very difficult for us, Hyko, our other Golden Retriever, Rhonda, and I. Klarissa has been a part of our lives many years. Klarissa was just three months old when Rhonda and I met, and Hyko has not known our home without her. She was a one in a million dog, and never knew she was not just another member of the family. She was smart, had a wonderful personality, and an imagination unlike anything I've seen in any animal. She was more of a child than a canine, and her loss is just as difficult for me. I am thankful I had the opportunity to share our lives for twelve years, I doubt I'll ever know another as special as she was. I'm planning on writing something in her memory and will add it to my port. |
| This is a very long and difficult day. My wonderful friend, Klarissa is dying. She is a Golden Retriever, just a dog to many, but she is much more to me. I got home just shortly after she was born, along with a whole mess of sisters and brothers. My daughter's dog Mandy had pups while I was at a Christmas party for work. At first I had no intention of keeping one. But, puppies are difficult to resist, so I began considering the possibility of keeping a puppy for myself. I had two picked out that I was kind of fond of, but one was a bit unruly and the other soon had another home. Being winter in northern Minnesota, we had the mother, who was a house dog, and her pups in the house. They were penned up in one room, so they could not make too big of a mess. One evening, one of the puppies managed to get out of the closer, and cried until I picked her up. Klarissa and I have been together ever since. She just refused to stay penned up, and would come straight to me. Once I had picked her up, she would climb up my body and rest on my shoulders until she would fall asleep. That was in December of 2001, shortly after my divorce and trying to put my life back together again. Now, almost twelve years later, she is just a shadow of who she used to be. Nothing but skin and bone, bad hips, and numerous other problems. But she has not been suffering and we continued to nurse her along. the last few days she refused food and water. I get a little moisture in her but it's difficult and she fights it all the way. She has breathing trouble when she lies down, so she began pacing and can only lie for about five minutes, before starting to bark and cry out. Then she gets up and paces aimlessly. I called the vet to see if they could do anything for her, but unfortunately there is nothing to do, she is old and her body is dying. But she is a fighter and refuses to give in. She has always been there to take care of me, and now when she needs to let go and sleep eternally, she fights it with every ounce of will she has left, because she won't leave me. It tears my heart out to watch her, to know she is fighting for her life and it is a losing battle. The vet will be open on Monday, if she lasts that long. For now, it's difficult but we are keeping her medicated for pain and hoping she can be kept comfortable until Monday. I want so much for her to stay with me, but she is nothing but skin over bone, she is starving and dehydrating. The most difficult thing is to let go, for both of us. |
| Let's try this again. I had a good start, but accidently closed the browser. I'm trying out my new notebook, and sitting in the vehicle to boot. It's cold here, so I have a ton of cloths on, too. In other words, I'm cramped, bundled to the point of being restricted, and trying to get used to this little keypad. It's proving a bit difficult, but do-able. It's Black Friday, the day after Thanksgiving; what a way t destroy a holiday. Not that I anything against sales. No, that's great everyone enjoys saving money. It's how they do the sales, that I don't like. It would be bad enough with the rush of shoppers trying t get to the items before they sell out, but the stores make it even worse. They only put out a few items, so shoppers will rush to buy, then when the item is gone, they bring out more. They purposely only purchase a limited quantity of a high end item, put it on sale for a terrific low price, just to get shoppers into the store. They advertise this, and then announce in the store as well, when they will put a few2 more out. All in all, it makes people rude, pushy, and in a bad mood. Since many places open the night before, they are also tired and upset by how much they are spending. But will they go home and get some sleep and save their money? Not while th3e sale is going on. And the sad part is, except for a few items, everything will be back on sale for Christmas, without the store created shortage, for the same low price, or within a few dollars of it. In fact, I have watched item prices climb all summer, so that these super deals are not all that great 9f a deal anyway. Only a few items are really marked down as low as it sounds. For example, this spring I purchased an electronic picture frame that was pretty nice for abut thirty dollars. By mid summer, this item was about thirty five dollars. By early fall, it was forty dollars. A month ago, it jumped to fifty dollars, and last wee, they were on sale for fifty-nine, ninety-nine. Today they are on sale for -- thirty nine dollars and ninety nine cents. And the wine glasses are down to eight bucks from twelve. Yeah, the ones I was going to by last spring for four dollars. So, as you can see, most of it's a big rip off. Not all, but a lot of it is. Back home now for a while. Rhonda and I had come in together, and she waited assisted during my shift, then I waited and assisted during hers. The next guard was pretty busy when her shift started, so Rhonda assisted for a while, before clocking out. I stayed and helped after Rhonda left to clock out, and by the time she returned, things had slowed down a lot. I don't think it was very busy this afternoon, once the sale was done. I was surprised how many people showed up for regular construction items today. It's been very slow for any of the construction type items for a while now. Not today, for some reason these people showed up to get big orders filled. Of course they have to know the stores are swamped and everyone is busy, so I assume they do it intentionally just because. Oh well, no different for me, or the yard workers, we can only do so much and then someone has to wait. Today, the sales guests received first priority over deliveries, freight, and non sale purchases. It's just got to be that way, to keep traffic moving smooth. So, some of these large orders took three or more hours to get loaded. I'm just glad the day is over, it was a trying day. Not bad for working, just busy. That in itself makes the time go by quickly, but it's tiring, especially when it's cold and windy like today. Most of the guests were in high spirits and very pleasant, which also makes the day pass nicely. So, not a bad day at all, but trying only because I'm feeling very run down and wore out. So, time for me to retire to some reading and then -- sleep. |
| In just under the wire. It's past time for bed, but I wanted to get something written in here first. It's been a wonderful day, but too short. It didn't start out the way it was suppose to, but it worked out. Yesterday I was suppose to be off work, and so was Rhonda. But a call in ensured one of us would be working, and I opted to go in. I had hoped I could have the morning person work late and go make some purchases, but he had to get to a second job. Rhonda called the night person, to have him come in early, and he did get there a half hour early, so it helped. I had to do some running and last minute shopping, and by the time I got done with everything and home, it was getting quite late. One of the purchases I had picked up was a notebook for my writing. I had picked out a Acer at Walmart, and put it on lay-a-way. I got home, opened it, and set it up according to the instructions. I turned it on, and the display was a mess. It looked like panels of plaid. I looked through the meager paperwork that came with it, and found nothing. I powered it down, let it sit for a little while and tried again, same thing. I called Walmart but didn't get much for information. I could return it, but they did not have anymore. I called Acer and went through a few hoops trying to get things working, and in the end tried to reset it. Same thing. I was told it was a hardware malfunction, and it would need to be sent in. I explained I just bought the thing and did not want to go through all this. I would return it. Rhonda called Target and they had one the same, at about the same price, within a few dollars. So, with time running out, we ran back into town, returned the defective one at Walmart and headed to Target. Once there, I seen a Gateway for half the price. It was a little smaller, which makes it more portable. It doesn't have quite ability or storage, but ample for me. We ended up getting the Gateway, coming home and setting it up. Only this one stated it needed to fully charge before turning on. Now I wonder if the Acer did, too. The instructions did not state this, and the help desk did not tell me this, either. No matter, I have a notebook that will fulfill my needs; I wanted something that was easy to take along with me, would last long on battery power, and would access my Office 360. This does all of that, and plenty more. It's set up with Windows 8, however, and it's going to take a while to learn my way around. Well, time for bed, have to be up at 3:00 tomorrow morning and work the morning shift. Hopefully it's not too crazy for us back in the yard. Happy Thanksgiving to all. |
| Yesterday I had three days off, but with it, a lot of work to do from home. So, the plan was simple, do the work, get it all done, then have today and tomorrow off without interruption. That's just what I did, too. I updated some time corrections, I processed and faxed a resignation form, filled out personnel action requests, made the needed corrections to the next schedule, and sent my e-report. After, I figured up bank accounts and sent off some bills, planned out the next few payments, and made plans for today. Mostly, going in sometime this morning to post the next schedule, and go over changes in it, do to someone quitting on December 7. Today she calls in and wakes me from a sound sleep. She's not feeling well and can't make her shift. So much for a day off for me, and glad I'm not in Minnesota, as we had originally planned. She didn't sound sick, and when I asked about it, she said she was up all night puking. About this time, I hear a long string of vulgarness over the phone. A male voice, but not in the background, it's right there at the phone. My guess would be he's on the same phone, or listening in on a second phone. F*@# this, f*@# that; you get the idea. I ask the caller, "What the hell is that?" "It's my fiance." "Why do I have to listen to this?" "Sorry." Meanwhile, I'm having a difficult time hearing her, because she is speaking softly, and he is continuing the string of profanity and cussing. I feel my blood pressure rising and voice my opinion. "If I had to listen to that, I'd prefer to be at work." She speak louder now. "That's uncalled for." "No, that's uncalled for." I begin to explain that she called me, woke me up and then I get to listen to some dick go off on me? I don't get a chance to finish explaining to her that if she cannot call and control her moron there, she can fill her shift as scheduled, or she can shut him up so we can have a discussion about trying to fill her shift. No, I don't get a chance to talk to her at all, because this moron is now on the phone telling me about my job. I say moron, because it's true. The female employee informed me that he lost his job and a convenience store do to sexual comments and accusations. She also informed me that she was taking this job because he wouldn't get one. She also had to call in a couple of times because she couldn't leave her infant son with this person. She is the same person who just put in her two week notice, telling me she took a better paying job that gives her more hours. Only, I have tried to give her more hours, but she can't work mornings, she can't work nights, and she can't work and leave her kid with her fiance. I also found out through her job counselor that she does not have a new job. See, she is working through a state program that helps people with vocational rehabilitation to find work. She has a job counselor that works very closely with me. If she can't get to work because of transportation, or if she needs training, anything that could put her employment at risk is discussed with her job counselor. So, he called to see what the issues were with her not being able to work more hours. I explained how she turns down every attempt I have made to give her more hours, how she foolishly inquires about how it works if she gets sick and needs to call in, or needs a babysitter and has to call in, etc... and then the next day she is scheduled to work she does just that. I also informed him that she is leaving to take a higher paying job. He informed me she does not have another job, but is anticipating assistance through another program, since she does not make enough to justify her working. Only, now that he knows she has turned me down on working more hours and days, she will not qualify. And why? She does a decent job, she's just not very dependable. Even so, it's by her own confession that her fiance is the cause of her needed to stay with a sick kid, or crabby, or anything else, because he won't help out at home. He can't hold a job, and she is now quitting her's because she don't want to leave her son with him. So, when she finds out she will not be able to qualify for any other help through this program for refusing to work enough hours, she will likely come to me and want to hold on to her job. Only her calling in, this incident with her fiance on the phone, and her dishonesty tell me I should find someone I can rely on to fill the position. In other words, she just called in and with her fiance's assistance, cut her last lifeline. When she gave me her notice, I was relieved because I knew, in time, I would have to terminate her. She's unable to work anything except her scheduled shifts, and then it's almost every week she is trying to get out of one of one of them days. I think she's only actually worked one or two weeks without requesting time off. Also, we have been finding things missing at work. Little things, items we bring in outside of required supplies. Things like hand-wipes, since we do not have access to a sink for washing our hands. Tissues for our noses, and even some hard candy. We were also bringing in bottled water, just in case someone forgot something to drink, or when it was real hot, needed more. We had to stop bringing in water, she drank it all. She would go through a couple of bottles a day, and when the supply ran out, left a note for me saying we needed more brought in. I had explained that I pay for this, and it's there if you need it, but you should provide your own food and drink. Next it was a package of wipes, that vanished. Then we began to go through tissues almost weekly, and the wipes also vanished very fast. Yard traffic is slower, so things should be lasting longer, with the exception of tissues. But, even if they had colds, we would not be going through so many. It's apparent that someone is taking items home. Since she informed me that she could not get any gloves for work, she had to spend every penny on stuff for her son, I of course began to suspect she is taking these items home for that purpose, her son. It's reached a point that I was going to have to begin reviewing the security cameras to see who was taking items, and have them removed. I didn't want to, but it's my job. Now, I have a gut instinct telling me the problem resolved itself. I could be wrong, but I doubt it, and if things stop vanishing now that she is gone, I'll have the answer. Well, have to get ready for work, hopefully the night person can come in a little early and I can salvage some of this day. I have things I really want to do today, and I've been trying to get over a bad cold all week. |
| It's been a crazy weekend, starting on Friday. But, I'm now looking at three days off, although today wasn't an official day off since I had a lot of work to do from home. Even so, it felt not to get up before daylight for the first time in over a week. Friday was planned to be a day to get rested up after going full throttle for a couple of days to wrap up my novel for NaNoWriMo, but then Rhonda impacted a deer with the van after work. Friday's plan was shot to hell. the weekend was typical, but now with only one vehicle, it's double running and more time consumed. Monday was just kind of crazy at work, and not even a full moon. I wasn't overly busy, but just crazy stuff. It's been cold, too. Below freezing and windy, which really runs a person down fast. To top it off, I came down with a cold, probably from lack of sleep last week, combined with scores of people coming through at work, sneezing and coughing at me. I finally got my novel uploaded to NaNoWriMo and have now officially won. It's a great feeling, but it's unfortunate bad luck had to hit at the same time and depreciate the wonderful feeling of accomplishment. But, it could have been worse, it could have hit sooner and made things very difficult to complete the challenge. I haven't been doing very well at my journal, either. I knew I may run short on time while writing, but it's more now that I'm done that I'm having difficulty getting in to write. I actually did pretty good during my novel writing days this month. As things are kind of settling down a bit, I've had some time to think about a new writing project I want to get started on soon. It's a series of short stories all with a similar theme to them, that I want to write and then make a collection of in one book. Right now, I'm going to go check on dinner, then it's time to soak in a hot tub and relax a little before we eat. |
| Up for work and just about time to head out. It's nice to sleep in a bit on Sundays, but it tends to be a long day, since I work until mid afternoon and it's been one of the busiest days. Hopefully it returns to normal soon. It's nice to have a decent nights rest, too. I may have only gotten about seven hours, but it feels like a lot more. That should help the day go by better, too. Now, if that insurance adjuster would just get his butt out here so we could find out some news for the van, things would be looking up a bit. I have about an hour before I have to go get Rhonda. it does suck to be down to one vehicle again, but there's not much we can do about right now. Even though it puts a big damper on my time, and I have to watch the clock to ensure I make it in to get her, I managed to set my troubles aside and accomplish some writing. I had my novel for NaNo done, but wanted to add an introduction, dedication, and an epilogue. I was thinking of doing this when I started editing but today I decided to get it done. I still have time before the month end deadline, so why not? It was kind of difficult to get going; so much demanding my thoughts with the accident and problems from that. I also received a notice of resignation from one of my new hires, and will be short on help again in a couple weeks if I cannot get another hired and trained by then. So much for a couple of days off each week, at least for a while. Oh well, it's more money, and that's needed now, too. Let's see, where was I? Ah yes. I was at work, and decided to work on the intro, dedication, and epilogue after work. Rhonda came in, and I talked to her for a couple minutes, then left to get things going. But, I didn't make it far before getting stopped by a couple of the yard guys who needed to blow off some steam. We talked for a while, I don't like to be rude to these guys, they work hard and seldom get anyone who understands things from their perspective. But, eventually I had to excuse myself so i could get clocked out. I was now running a half hour late getting out of there. I also had to talk with store management about the Friday after Thanksgiving and what times they requested coverage. So, forty five minutes late, I get in the Jimmy and begin my drive home. But I need gas, so I stop and fill up. Then, finally, I'm homeward bound. Halfway Klarissa begins her pacing, climbing all over, and barking. She's old, nothing but skin and bone, and has very little voice left. She suffers hip problems, and does not get around well at all. This means she could easily be injured if she falls, and her trying to move around in a moving vehicle is just looking for trouble. Also, in trying to keep an eye on her, as well as her trying to get petted, on my lap, and just bumping into me, I could easily loose control. It's a long ride home, but we make it, just like every other day. Once home, I start my dinner heating, and try to get set up for some writing. But Klarissa will have none of it. She wants me to be right there by her. Finally I have dinner ready and enjoy a little peace and quiet while I eat. Then I feed both Golden Retrieves, and set down to write. Only all night long, Klarissa keeps up her barking. Like a little kid who is demanding attention, she insists on "yelling" for me to cover her up, pet her, sit by her, and who knows what else. In spite of all this, I did manage to get my task done. And between running and caring for my elderly friend, I managed to get this done, too. I hope this is not an indicator of the night to come, but after being kept awake by her perpetual barking the last few nights, I suppose it is. She does not bark loud, it comes as a whisper. But, it's dry and raspy, and she barely gets it out sometimes. I feel for her, but just wish I had some way of knowing what she's asking of me. All I can do is try and figure out what she needs, a blanket, a pillow for her head, water, or to go outside. Sometimes it's just to have me touch her and reassure her I'm right there. |
| What a day! It actually started two days back, when I sat myself down to finish the novel I'm writing for NaNo. I had my fifty thousand, but the story wasn't done. I had a story outline and an ending already worked out, I just needed to fill in the details leading up to the ending. This took a couple of chapters, and two nights back, Thursday, I wrote out almost seven thousand words for the final chapter. It was getting late when I typed that last sentence, but it was complete. What a rush it was to have my novel done. Excited, I wanted to celebrate a little. I would have liked to celebrate a lot, but I had to be up at three the next morning for work, so we celebrated a little. But, I had been sipping on wine while I worked on the final chapter, two glasses worth. After finishing, Rhonda assisted me in the word count tally, and updating my count here, and on the NaNo site. We sipped on Brandy while we worked, and then had another after. It helped calm my excitement, and by eleven-thirty I was ready for bed. Sometime after, I woke up, and upon returning from the bathroom snuggled up and spooned my lovely wife. this got her snuggling back tighter against me, and that got me snuggling tighter to her, then she rolled and we exchanged some kisses and .... Well, I think you get the picture. After, we snuggled into each other's arms and drifted back to sleep. At three, the alarm went off, and I drug my tired butt out of the warmth of the bed, drank a cup of coffee, and got ready for work. My head was about to explode, I was extremely tired, and I felt like I'd been trampled in my sleep. Now, I know what your thinking. Wine? Brandy? Headache and feeling trampled? I know -- I know, hangover. Nope. I'm sure it assisted, but I had not drunk enough to give myself a hangover, although the brandy and wine very likely was the reason my stomach was unhappy. Very little sleep compounded the situation, and hours of sitting at the keyboard wrapped it up. My arms hurt, my shoulders ached, and my neck was tighter than a bow string. After all, in three nights I had completed the novel, and in those three nights I had typed out just over twenty thousand words. Yes, seven thousand on Tuesday, six thousand on Wednesday, and seven thousand on Thursday. Also, I wrote with my laptop sitting at the writing table. It's a nice position for typing, but with the laptop it puts the monitor a little low, and that's why the neck and shoulders ached, looking down for so long. The other culprit was what I was drinking while I typed. I normally drink coffee through the afternoon and into the evenings, and I seldom have any issues. But, coffee just was not working for me on Thursday, so I dumped out my cup around three or four in the afternoon and sipped on water with a lemon wedge in it. Only, after drinking a full glass of water, I just wasn't thirsty for another. I looked around and the only thing that looked appealing, was the bottle of Pinot Noir in the fridge. Besides, it had been open for a few days and needed to be used up before it lost it's flavor. I was struggling some trying to get the story to flow anyway, so I thought maybe a little wine will loosen up the imagination for me. It did and I wrote and sipped. Eventually I run dry, and about the time Rhonda arrived home I poured the remainder into my glass and resumed typing. So, two glasses of wine, around twelve ounces. The problem wasn't in the wine, it was in the lack of caffeine from not drinking my quota of coffee. Intense headache. Add the stiff neck and shoulders, and you have very intense headache, mix in only a couple of hours of sleep, and you have a major headache. And I did. I would have squelched it right out with coffee Friday morning, but I do not have easy access to a bathroom at work, and wouldn't get a break until around nine or ten. I could call for a break, but it's kind of a hassle. So, I don't drink very much before or at work. I know, results in dehydration. And, even mild dehydration give you a.... Say it! Headache. Anyway, I felt like crap. My plan was to come home, send my reports for work, then lie down and take a short nap. I did just that, too. I slept about an hour, got up and worked on uploading my novel to the clouds. Because the internet isn't the fastest here in my rural little town, it wasn't going very quickly. Because our service provider doesn't provide dependable service, the network disconnects off and on as soon as it begins to overload, which is later afternoon and early evening. So, I was having a lot of difficulty and was getting frustrated with my task when the phone rang. I do not like phones. I have received too many of those, I hate to tell you this over the phone, phone calls. Also, being a supervisor, I have received way too many, I can't make it in, calls as well. Finally, I just don't like to be interrupted, and many of the people who call me won't take a hint when I tell them I'm busy, and rattle on and on anyway. So, back to the task at hand, the phone rings and it's Rhonda. Now, this is one fo the few calls I enjoy. But, not this night. No, she called to inform me she was running off with some good looking doctor or lawyer or something. Just kidding, but it was just as bad, she had been driving home and impacted with a deer. In fact, she had pretty well removed the front end of the van, deployed the air bags, and was unsure if she was seriously injured or not. Luckily, she was not injured beyond some mild bruising, and once the initial pain dissipated, she didn't feel too bad at all. The van never recovered. The grill, both headlights, the hood, radiator, etc... All demolished and being dark, there was no way to try and get it home. She had managed, after the accident, to limp it onto an approach to a field, so it was well off the highway. My plans of relaxing last night were shot, and instead of getting to bed early in the evening, it was early in the morning instead. Not that it mattered, I didn't sleep anyway. I tend to worry very easily, and this was a good source of worry. See, we have just begun to recover a little from financial ruin from some bad luck a few years back. We managed to get the van, and it was in very good shape, but it's old, 1998 model. Therefore, it's unlikely the insurance is going to pay for repairs. Even if they do, we needed to keep insurance cost down, so we will have to dish out the first 750 dollars, which, for us, is going to be a major set back. It will take cutting back on everything, even food, and then a couple of months to raise. So, no sleep again, and now one vehicle. This is an older SUV, and not as easy on gas as the van was. It's also not as good of shape, it's cold to ride in this time of year, and it's going to have to make double trips for us to use it to get to work. Rhonda and I will have to go in when I open, then she drives home. At eleven she drives it back in for her shift, and I get done and can drive it back home. But then I have to go back later in the afternoon to get her, and then we drive back home. It's twenty five miles one way, so we're looking at one hundred and fifty miles a day. I doubt the old buggy will hold up to it for long, but even if we baby it along it's going to kill us trying to keep gas in it. It's going to be three times more miles, and gas, than what before, and that means it's going to take the money we wanted to set aside to get the van repaired to keep gas in the Jimmy. So, now I need to get some good sleep, but with this all going on, I seem to have a headache, and I know I will have troubled sleep until a solution is found. Hopefully the insurance adjuster will be here while one of us is at home and we can get some answers. Right now, the best we can hope for is the insurance subtracts the 750 and we get enough from what's left if they total it, that we can either make repairs ourselves or put it down on another cheap vehicle. If we can find something in decent shape that's affordable. One step forward, two steps back. That's been the story around here for quite a few years now. I'm hoping it's about time we can get to a better chapter and start moving towards a happy ending. |
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