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A place for random thoughts, ideas, and fun! |
First, a prayer request, good thought request, whatever works for you . . . my friend Liz is having pain in her ribs, and had some bloodwork done. The bloodwork showed some abnormality in her pancreas, so she's having a CT scan this morning. ![]() I've been feeling myself becoming more and more fragile, over the past few months. I'm not sure why. What's tipped, what's changed, that's causing me to be less and less able to cope with everyday frustrations? I know that not getting enough sleep, or not getting good quality sleep, can affect everything else . . . but that's an ongoing issue for me. What's NEW, that's gotten me to this point? My brain is going in a thousand different directions on this one, but no one answer is helping me cope with the problem. I'll start with my day yesterday . . . just another tired day, accomplishing little, and then finding myself frustrated with the children from the moment I see them. Crumbs and spills, coats and clothes, backpacks and shoes left everywhere . . . despite the fact that I remind them daily. I feel like I repeat myself 12 times a day. Maybe that's the problem? But how do I fix it?? If I DON'T say anything, nothing happens. Sophie flips out as soon as I say something she doesn't want to hear. (ie. no, you can't use the computer. It's a beautiful day - go outside and play!) ![]() So Bob comes home from work to find me sobbing on the bed. I don't know how he puts up with me . . . WHY he puts up with me. I'm such a freaking mess, he never knows what he's going to find when he gets home. Then I had to somehow tidy myself up and get myself ready to go to a chaperone meeting for Dhoc-li Llama ![]() ![]() Ok . . . think I'll stop there. ** Image ID #1408057 Unavailable ** |
Whata night! I was so nervous when I got to the center. The woman who took care of me (Stacy) was wonderful, though. She was very chatty while she was hooking me up, she understood that I had sensory issues, and made sure that everything was an comfortable as she could possibly make it. Loosened a few things that were tugging, etc. I had electrodes everywhere, including several on my scalp with conducting gel on them. I must have looked like Medusa. I certainly did after she took them all off the next morning. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I don't know how long it will be until I get the results, but I'm really hoping there will be something in there that we can work with, so that I can get some help. ** Image ID #1408057 Unavailable ** |
Well, after years and years and YEARS of sleep issues, and never having a single doctor take them seriously enough to help me, I'm finally having a sleep study done. Thursday night. Eep! I'm relieved to finally be doing this, because I'm hopeful that we can come up with some solutions. But at the same time, I'm so nervous! It's gonna be a loooooong night, I'm sure! The majority of my sleep issues are sensory-related. I have no idea how I'm going to sleep with electrodes all over me. Oh boy. ** Image ID #1408057 Unavailable ** |
I'm sorry. I didn't get around to writing one for today . . . but I thought my readers might like to see this: http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/2008/03/elephant-paints.html One word review - unbefreakinlievable!!! Just check it out! ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Love me . . . why? William Shakespeare’s comedy Much Ado About Nothing is delightful of its own accord. When paired with the outstanding cast and interpretation of Kenneth Branagh’s 1993 film version, the story shines. Claudio is in love with young Hero, daughter of Signior Leonato. Benedick and Beatrice are constantly at odds with one another. While wedding preparations are being made for Claudio and Hero at the estate of Don Pedro, a plot in concocted to trap Benedick and Beatrice into falling in love. Don Pedro’s evil brother, Don John, devises another plot, to break up the marriage of Claudio and Hero. Mayhem and misunderstanding in the end, lead to . . . Much Ado About Nothing. Branagh not only directs the film, but plays Signior Benedick, and plays him to perfection. His then wife, Emma Thompson, plays opposite him, in the role of Lady Beatrice. Their banter and comedic timing are fabulous; I truly miss seeing them together in films. Kate Beckinsale and Robert Sean Leonard play Hero and Claudio, the beautiful young couple. Denzel Washington is a fabulous screen presence, as Don Pedro. The only flaw in the casting is Keanu Reeves as Don John. His stiff acting stands out like a sore thumb. Thankfully he does not appear in much of the film. Watch it for the dialogue – Kenneth Branagh has a way of interpreting Shakespeare’s work in such a way that the meaning shines clearly while enhancing its poetic beauty. Watch it for the story – it’s a delightful romp! Watch it for the actors – most of them are outstanding. Watch it for the setting – it’s beautiful! ** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable ** |
In my opinion, the festival of Purim is the most fun of all the Jewish holidays. The story of Queen Esther is told from the Megillah. Children (and grown ups!) dress in costumes and put on skits (or Purim Shpiels), make loud noise every time Haman's name is mentioned (Haman = bad guy in story), give gifts of food (shalach manot) to friends, and eat hamentaschen! Learn more about Purim: http://www.holidays.net/purim/story.html http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamentashen http://www.holidays.net/purim/goodies.html ** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable ** |
England has always been disinclined to accept human nature. Based on the novel by E. M. Forster, and set in Edwardian Britain, Maurice is the story of a young man struggling to find peace and acceptance in a world that views homosexuality as the worst sin in the calendar. Maurice Hall and Clive Durham meet at Cambridge fall in love. The pressures of society combine with a scandal that hits fairly close to home. Clive breaks off the relationship in an effort to conform to the social standards that his gentry position in society requires. James Wilby, with his boyish charm, is wonderful as the passionate Maurice. A very young Hugh Grant is Clive Durham, heir to Pendersleigh Hall. Durham marries, leaving Maurice lost but unable to stay away from Clive and Pendersleigh Hall. Rupert Graves is Alec Scudder, canny gamekeeper at Pendersleigh. What develops between he and Maurice will change both of their lives. Graves’ onscreen presence is powerful, though I cannot decide whether his accent is horrible, or he’s such a powerful actor that the accent serves as a stunning contrast between the classes. I first saw this film when it was released in the theaters, in 1987. The effect on me was quite powerful at that time, and I watched it several times after that. It had been many years however, and I’d forgotten just how much I love this movie, until watching it again last week, with dareng. The music is beautiful and haunting, and will stay with the viewer long after the film has ended. ** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable ** |
Well, dareng left today, for Savannah. It was so difficult to say goodbye. But I have to remind myself . . . it's not really "goodbye" . . . we'll definitely see each other, again! He's family now . . . that's not going to change, just because he's in Georgia. Got the sweetest email from my mom, a little while ago: Been thinking about you and hoping you had a wonderful day and evening with Daren yesterday... Daren thinks the world of you and Bob and he adores the kids. So when you're feeling sad about him being away and missing him, remember that you have really impacted his young life in a very important, positive way. Although I'm so sorry his plans didn't work out in Wilmington, I think he needs to be in Savannah for a while and I hope he develops a lasting bond with his niece and nephew...they're so fortunate to have him in their lives. They are, indeed. And so are we - my IRL family, and my WDC family. ** Image ID #1372237 Unavailable ** |
Today has been a totally crap day, for me. It’s been rainy and blah outside, and my mood is echoing that . . . blah, no energy . . . I just want to lay down and close my eyes. No energy, no enthusiasm, no desire . . . First, the latest news . . . for those who haven’t yet heard, dareng is leaving Delaware, for Savannah. After a month here with no job offers, and a family situation that acted as catalyst for his realization . . . he’s decided he needs to be closer to his family. Intellectually, I understand this without a shadow of a doubt, and I’m so glad that he was able to spend the time here, to get away and gain that clarity . . . but emotionally I’m heartbroken. I feel like I’m losing a son. He’s become a part of the family, and he will be very much missed. Sure, we’re going to see each other – he’ll be up here for the Gutter family Reonion in May, and I’ll definitely go down to Savannah at some point, as well. But it won’t be the same as having him here. Jakie’s going to miss him so much, too. ![]() I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’ve been feeling so blah lately . . . Sure, I’m quite sad about Daren’s leaving. But there’s more to it than that; Daren’s leaving is a catalyst for the rest of it to come flooding back . . I think about my situation – I feel stuck at home. WDC . . . this is my only adult interaction during the day. You ARE my colleagues, my co-workers. So, how WONDERFUL it’s been, having Daren right here, another person to interact with during the day. Plus, it’s Daren! So now I’m thinking about the whole prospect of going out and finding a job. Every time I think about it, I run the gamut of emotions. Hopefulness – it’s time, I can do this, it’ll be good to be doing something intellectual, and getting out of the house. Indecision – what do I even want to do? Worry – what if I put myself out there, and am rejected? What if I get a job and I have a day where I feel like I’ve been feeling today, where I can barely force myself to get out of bed? What if I get a job and I feel trapped? WOW . . . THAT was a revelation! I don’t even know where to go with that one . . . what if I feel trapped? Hey, in some ways, I feel trapped right now. Well, in many ways, actually. Stuck in the house, lonely, I’ve made no connections in our new area. I was looking forward to having Daren around for that reason, as well. Because one of my “best friends” and his wife live literally a mile away . . . and I hardly see or speak to them at all. If I got a job I could connect with new people, maybe make some new friends. I could also end up disappointed . . . oh hell, I don’t even want to go there. Enough with the negativity, damn it! That’s my biggest downfall – I get so negative . . . about myself more than anything or anyone else. It’s a self-esteem thing, but I cannot seem to get past it, now matter how much self-talk I do, no matter how much encouragement I get from others . . . it can’t be insurmountable, but it sure as hell feels like it. I’d hoped to spend some time this year just writing . . . but I can’t write with the children around. I can’t write with any noise whatsoever. I’d started this blog entry, and about 4 sentences in, I decided I had to go hide in the bedroom to write. You can see the difference in my writing. This is what I wrote, before coming upstairs: I’ve been thinking a lot about why I’ve been feeling so blah lately . . . Sure, I’m quite sad about Daren’s leaving. But there’s more to it than that; Daren’s leaving is a catalyst for the rest of it to come flooding back . . I think about my situation – I feel stuck at home. WDC . . . this is my only adult interaction during the day. You ARE my colleagues, my co-workers. So, how WONDERFUL it’s been, having Daren right here, another person to interact with during the day. Plus, it’s Daren! And it was quite difficult to get that out, even though I’d already spent about half an hour laying in bed, thinking about what I wanted, needed to write. Where am I going with this? I’m not sure. But I’m hopeful that getting it all out, rambling as it may be, will help me gain some more clarity on the situation, and figure out how to move forward. I was thinking about how nice it would be to take my computer to Borders, and just sit there and write . . . but the noise. I’d never be able to concentrate. Still, I might give it a go, at some point. What else am I thinking about? What else is consuming my mind with negativity? Oh . . . Dove chocolate. I started out with such excitement . . . but I’ve ended up in the exact position I did not want, the exact position that I’d feared – nothing is happening. I’ve put myself out there, and while a few people half-heartedly said they’d do a party . . . it’s been well over a month, and I don’t even have ONE party booked. I’m SICK of it . . . THIS is why I have the negativity, the self-doubt. It’s not without basis. I just feel like selling all of my stuff, and forgetting about it altogether. This is the crap that keeps me up at night . . . is there ANYTHING I can possibly do about that, at midnight? Nope, not a damn thing. And when daytime rolls around, I’m too flipping TIRED to do anything . . . And with that, I think I’ll close. I could keep writing, but I’ve already rambled enough for one day. ![]() ![]() |
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/idiom_shortage_leaves_nation_all?utm_source... I have no idea how we will go forward . . . it'll be like . . . like . . . trying to swim without a scoreboard! ![]() ![]() |