This book summarizes the author's research into what makes the difference between super happy marriages, so-so-so marriages and struggling marriages.

The title is catchy. What married person doesn't want to learn "surprising secrets" to make their marriage better? I liked the tagline on the cover, "the little things that make a big difference." There was indeed a lot of good information in the book, although much of it had been covered in different ways in her previous books.

My favorite part was the "fantastic five" for him and for her lists. I don't think my husband's fantastic five would be the same as the average guy's and I know mine aren't the same as the average woman's but that was a good way to start. I also liked the personal stories of the "Yes!" couples (those who are both very happy in their marriage).

Married people looking to make their marriage better or even better, and open minded couples of any kind who can adapt the message to their relationship.

The personal stories and quotes from the "Yes!" couples.

At the end I felt a bit disappointed (which is why I gave it four instead of 5 stars), partly because I never found a list of the habits in normal language. The chapter headers that should describe the habits are instead more marketing lingo feeling than actually descriptive (at least to me) of the habits. So now that I've finished the book and would like a list of the habits, I have to go back through each chapter and figure it out (when I'd rather just make my action plan straightaway and move on to the next book). But, aside from that, and being dry in places (she goes into a lot of detail about her research), it was a good read.

That some of the "little things" are actually entire mindset changes. To me, that's not a little thing. That's a huge thing. And I do suspect that it's the huge things that make the biggest difference.

Call Shaunti and ask her for a summary of the habits in normal language. Granted, I don't have her number nor would she probably take my call but that's what I wanted.

A lot of things... interested, frustrated, fascinated, bored... at different times.

Has written some even better books, particularly "For Women Only" and "For Men Only."

It does have tips and some simple (and some not simple at all) suggestions for improving relationships.

If you just want a concise list of things to do, this book doesn't have it. But you could save yourself a lot of time if you're ok with just five of the habits for each gender... in that case, don't read the whole book. Just read chapter two.

I borrowed the hardcover copy of this book from my library. I think I originally heard about it in a Christian living blog post.

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Created Jun 21, 2019 at 2:27pm • Submit your own review...