Jack and the Marshmallow Boar

Lying against the bottom of a cloud, I was
When suddenly I felt a good strong smack
It smacked me in the center of the back!
I turned to see what it was that had smacked
that had smacked me in the center of my back.

I wriggled and giggled and jumped for joy
when I saw what had hit my back
and made the sound of a smack
because it was the decapitated head
of my old friend Fred.

"Why're you so excited Jack" said Fred
"Why Fred you did startle me with that smack,
you smacked 'ol Jack, you smacked him in the back!"
I said, I said.

And with that, good 'ol Fred he rolled his head
he rolled his head he did, he did right off the bed
right off the bed and onto the floor and he said,
"Two and two and two makes four!"

And with that he rolled across the floor,
across the floor and through the door.
Now there I sat on the cheese covered floor,
and into my room tramped the Marshmallow Boar!

Now the Marshmallow Boar, you see, you see,
she was a whore and charged a mighty steep fee,
at least for me you see, you see
for that old whore, the Marshmallow Boar, was jealous of me.
Jealous of me and my extra large triple 'E' titty.

Right next to me sat that whore,
and dropped a handful of used condoms on my cheesy floor.
"You pick those up you whore, you whore,
you pick those up and go right out my door!"
I said, I said and that Marshmallow Boar,
the fucking whore, she left and didn't even shut the door!

So then I was left, with the sleazy slime
from condoms that weren't mine
that dirtied my cheesy floor
from that stupid whore
who didn't bother to shut my door.

So I grabbed a piece of balogna
from the toilet named Olie
to clean up the sleazy slimly mess
you have no idea how hard I had to press
When suddenly into my room
walks Mr. Christopher Boom

"Well, hello Mr. Boom!" I said, I said
He just smiled and nodded his head.
For you see, Mr. Boom cannot speak
for if he did my house would spring a leak.

It would leak and it would leak,
the neighbors would have to climb to their roof's peak
and still they'd not be safe
for the peak of their house is outside space!
Outside space, outside space, the peak of their house is outside space!

Suddenly Mr. Boom and I were in a race, a race!
We were racing at a mighty fast pace
when suddenly my titty hit Mr. Boom in his big fat...
"Race, it's a race!" I said to my friend Ned
who was then jogging in place!

So Ned joined the race
as he licked Bette Midler's face
We raced and we raced all over the place!

Soon the race was done
too bad it had to end so soon
I was having too much fun!

It was too much fun,
to run,
in the sun,
'Twas Ned who won for you see,
he's twelve feet taller than Mr. Boom and me!

We decided to play basketball just us three,
we decided to play basketball Mr. Boom, Ned, and me!
But a ball, a ball, we needed a ball!

Soon rolled over,
by my old dog Rover,
It was agreed that Fred,
would let us use his head!

"Won't that hurt, Fred?" I said, I said
"'Tis just my head, Jack, 'tis just my head,
besides you can't hurt someone who's already dead!"
said Fred, he said, he said!

"But Fred!" I said, I said
"You're not dead!
You've always been a talking head!
A talking head, Fred,
you've always been a talking head!"
This is what I said, I said, I said.

So as to not hurt Fred,
we opted to play catch instead!
We played until the sun turned red
and then it was time you see, to head off to bed.

So I said goodnight, to Mr. Boom,
and good day to Ned,
and see ya soon to Fred,
before I made my way back home.

When I got home
I decided to sit down and write this poem.
But you see, this tale you see,
it is not about Fred or Ned or Me!
For this tale, this tale you see
is about how people rely on me!

But you see, you see,
no one relies on me
for the bird relies on the tree
not me!

And Fred, he relies on Ned
for you see, Ned is Fred's body!
And Mr. Boom relies on Mrs. Whisper
to be able to speak,
without springing a leak!

But that old whore,
the Marshmallow Boar,
you see, you see
she doesn't rely on people
she relies on the fee.

For sex isn't free,
you see, you see
if you have sex with that whore
then you've had sex with me!

Perhaps I should explain, you see
that whore, the Marshmallow Boar
well, she's my other personality!
So I am that whore
that Marshmallow Boar!

Now get of of my face,
and out of my space,
for 'tis late and tomorrow's work is great,
so please excuse me whilst I snore!
Good night for now
as this has been a poem by
that whore, the Marshmallow Boar!