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Rated: E · Fiction · Children's · #980898
The tale of the frog prince we all know and love, but slightly skewed.
Once upon a time, there was a very handsome prince. Young women came from all over the kingdom to vie for his hand in marriage. They would line up around his family's one hundred acre castle. There would be so many of them, the line would wrap around the castle ten times. Like all very handsome princes, this prince was very vain. He would only let the pretty women into the room. He'd bow to the beautiful women, kiss the hands of the gorgeous women, and talk to the sexy ones.

One day, the line actually ended. The last woman to walk into the room was the sexiest woman the prince had ever seen. He fell over her, gushing. She put up with it for awhile, and then she let out the loudest, bone rattling cackle and turned the prince into an ugly, bald frog. The prince's parents were appalled; they demanded the woman, who had now turned into an old hag, turn their precious prince back into a prince, or at least give him hair. The hag let out a cackle and threw a rugged, moth-eaten red wig at the frog prince. The king was in denial of his son's appearance and the prince was so depressed with his looks: he ordered the frog to be thrown in the pond at the furthest edge of the kingdom. The prince was to stay there until he became a prince again, or came to terms with his baldness.

All winter, the frog prince refused to go into the pond or the ice because he didn't want to see his reflection. The other frog's made fun of him, which depressed the prince even more. He tried to tell them that he was a prince, but they just laughed even harder. "How could a frog with a bald head and an ugly wig be a prince?" they said. The prince just pushed himself further into denial.

Finally, spring came. Spring on the pond at the furthest edge of the kingdom was very beautiful, even the prince had to admit it. Slowly, the prince worked his way to the edge of the pond. The other frogs weren't laughing at him because of his baldness or his wig, just his stubbornness. He knew he'd have to endure a fair amount of teasing if he did go into the pond, but the days were getting warmer and dryer, and the frog prince was drying out. Finally, at the urge of the other frogs, the prince took one big leap and landed in the middle of the pond. Bliss, he thought. He'd never felt so good before in his life. That afternoon he had fly eating contests with the other frogs. The prince was terrible with his tongue and always lost the contests but the other frogs still loved him. The frog prince learned many valuable lessons those first weeks of spring with the other frogs. I'm still not sure what they are, but if you do, please notify me.

One day, the frog prince was practicing his fly catching when he heard a splash nearby. He jumped over to see what it was. There, he found a girl with some sheep wading into the water. She sat on a rock and began to wash the dirt off her hands and play with the sheep. The prince thought she wasn't sexy, she wasn't gorgeous, but, wash away some more of the dirt in her hair and face and she could be beautiful. He jumped over to the girl, half expecting her to jump away, but she didn't. She began talking to him, just as she talked to her sheep.

Over the course of the spring, the frog prince learned all about the sheep girl. He listened to her talk of herself, her family, and her sheep. She told him her deepest secrets--like the time she kissed the cook's boy behind the back door--and her highest dreams, since she thought he couldn't understand anything she said. The frog prince found himself in love with her by summer. It no longer mattered how beautiful she was. It mattered what her dreams were, the she cared, that she appreciated everybody. The frog prince leapt about and entertained her, catching flies to bring as presents, though he longed to bring her flowers and diamond necklaces. However, the prince knew that she could not possibly ever love a frog the way he loved her, and that he could never properly love her.

Summer came and went, and soon it turned fall. The water became too cold for the sheep girl to wade in it, and the prince could only go so far from the pond. As winter approached, the prince knew the girl must leave for the season. He had long forgotten about his baldness and wig, but this winter he planned to be in denial over the loss of the sheep girl. If he only knew all it required was a kiss to break the spell.
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