Acceptance

ACCEPTANCE

I'm beginning to come to Acceptance,
To belief in a Purpose behind my Pain:
Beyond the Evil that was done to me.
My Journey has formed the Person I am --
The Me I'm beginning to Be.
My Suffering has brought me Compassion,
My Injury some Empathy.
My Betrayal has taught me Loyalty.
And although this is NOT
How Lessons should be Taught,
My personal Hell has Tempered me:
Given me an Understanding of other's Pain.
My Past has Tutored me in Patience,
And the Denial of Personal Gain.
The Lessons I've Learned I can Pass along
To Others who make their Way
Along the Path that I have Trod,
Moving from Darkness into a new Day.
If I can help one Soul through the Morass
Of remembered Pain and Fear,
The Perhaps there is a Reason
For the Way I have come to be Here.
Though there will NEVER be Forgiveness
For the Rape of my Innocent Soul,
Perhaps there is Room for Acceptance
...For a Life that has a Goal.
My grip on this Thing called Acceptance
is Tenuous at its Best.
It is a Newborn Nebulous Thing.
It's come to me in its own Time,
And in its own Way:
From somewhere deep Inside of me
Where I can see the Light of Day.
I must Protect this Tender Shoot
From the Jungle that is my Soul.
Guard it from the Harsher Feelings
Of Shame and Fear and Rage.
I must never Deny these Emotions
That stem fropm my Inmost Core.
That would be a Betrayal of my Inner Child,
Betrayed far too often Before.
So of Forgiveness and Forgetting
This Acceptance has Naught to do.
I think it has Lessons to Offer me
And to Those whose Lives I Touch.
I wonder if Acceptance is the Secret
For which I have Longed so Much:
A way to put an Ending
To the Endless Terrors of the Night,
To the Paralyzing Daze of Flashbacks,
Of the Wanting to take Flight
In the Need to Hurt Myself.
Only Time will tell the Story,
And certainly of Time I have Enough.
This Concept called Acceptance
Is a Terribly Fragile Thing;
Like a Bubble caught on my Palm.
I'm almost Afraid to Look at it,
Lest it Burst and Slip Away.
I can see Eternity in its Prisms,
A Future near Impossible
To Imagine or Believe.
For with Acceptance of my Past
Comes an Acceptance of Life to Be.
A Life worth Living...
A Me worth Giving.
An Infinity of Possibility.
Perhaps it is not so Fragile as it Seems.
If I Breathe Life Softly into it,
And Faith and Hope and Love,
It will Rise and Float into the Sky:
Mirroring all my Past and Present
And Promising a New Tomorrow,
A Tomorrow in which I may Fly.
So I say "Hello," to Acceptance,
May you find a Welcome in my Heart
And a Home within my Soul./