Someday

         Nora sat, arms around her denim-clad knees, staring out into the East Texas night. In the distance, she could hear the occasional car fading away on the highway, but here all was still. Only the whispering crickets and the stately pines were witness to the silent tears coursing down her porcelain cheeks from her shadowed, sea-green eyes. Years ago, Nora had been one of the blessed. Pretty and popular throughout school, she had married the prom king, had two beautiful children and set up housekeeping in her small hometown, completely prepared to take her destined place as a very big fish, in a very small pond. For nearly thirty years, she had done as was expected, and done it well, Today she had reaped the reward she had earned with a lifetime of service. Today she had looked into her high school sweethearts eyes, and seen a stranger.

         At thirty years old, Oscar was still as beautiful as the day he’d run onto the football field to shine in the homecoming game. Thick, black hair waved in a perfect foil to his fair-haired wife. He’d been a good husband, mostly. Commuted the three hours to Houston on Sunday night to provide for their family, come home dutifully every Friday night to barbecue in the back yard with the boys. In the interim, Nora had tried to raise her boys. She’d done well, too. Oscar Jr and Todd were secure in their place in the world, and at eight and nine were full of laughter and mischief. She’d sat waiting every Friday night for his headlights in the driveway. And she’d accepted, if not her due, than at least her place.

         It hadn’t been enough, obviously. She could see that now, had seen from the moment Oscar stepped into her perfect home and told her about Sarah. Tall, short, blonde, dark, did it really matter? She had what Nora hadn’t had for years. She had Oscar’s attention.

         He’d tried to be kind, really. He had assured her he would continue to provide financially for herself and her children. She would keep the house, the car, all the amenities being married to him had brought. Oscar didn’t even want to file for a divorce right away. He simply would not be coming home for awhile. Maybe forever.

         Desperately, Nora wished she could have been one of those women, the kind who screamed, and cried, and shouted. She’d wanted to hurl candlesticks through the air at his smug head and tell him how she’d had given up years ago on having the kind of marriage that made her pulse race and her palms sweat. She’d wanted to hurt him, as he’d hurt her. She didn’t, of course. She’d nodded calmly, turned on heel, and strode purposefully into the bedroom they’d shared when their dreams were new. She’d helped him pack clothes, gathered the boys together into the living room to kiss their father goodbye, and watched his car drive off into the night. Then she’d gone inside, tucked her sons into bed, and wandered out onto the back deck to stare at the sky and wish she was a drinker.

         Daylight came, as it always does, without Nora’s consent. She was stiff and tired from sitting too long in the night air, and no closer to an answer than she’d been the night before, but the boys were always reluctant in the mornings, and the dog needed to be fed, and someone would have to go to the grocery store or there would be no dinner. So Nora did what she’d done every morning of her life. She got up, got dressed, and began her day.

         Sitting in her Jeep Grand Cherokee at the gas station later that afternoon, Nora was once again reminded of one of her least favorite aspects of small-town life. Every town has its center meeting place, and in Newton, it was the Conoco. Old men sat and tried to look like they weren’t gossiping, teenagers wandered in to buy Coke and stayed to congregate at the three stained tables placed strategically inside the door, and everyone in town seemed to be waiting to see how “Poor, Poor Nora” was holding up. She had smiled through the expressions of concern when she’d taken the boys to school this morning. She had answered intrusive questions in the supermarket. She’d kept her head up as everyone with a telephone had suddenly come up with a quite pressing reason to approach her this morning, but Nora absolutely could not pass through the gauntlet created by the vultures waiting casually inside the corner store for her arrival.

         Glancing back over her shoulder in preparation for reversing out of the parking place, with every intention of hiding in her house until something else arose to capture their attention, Nora was shocked to find a man standing behind her vehicle. She felt her breathing quicken as Aaron Masters wiped his hands on his well-worn and loving jeans and walked deliberately to the open driver’s-side window. Watching as he bent down to bring his electric-blue eyes even with her own, Nora was forced to remember him as he was in high-school. A sweet, shy, boy he had followed her devotedly on the first day of kindergarten. He was not the kind of boy she would ever date but somehow they had settled into an unusual, if comfortable friendship until Aaron had left town after high school. Apparently, Aaron was back and the years had filled out his shoulders and back with the quiet bulk that followed hard work. Aaron was back, confidant and sure.

         “Hello, Princess,” he drawled in a deep, quiet voice. “Weren’t planning on running for the hills, were you?”

         “I’m sorry, Aaron, I really have to go. Can we talk later?”

         Glancing up into the avid faces of the small crowd gathered, trying to appear nonchalant in the windows of the store, Aaron sighed deeply and shook his head.

         “Might as well get it done with, hon. They’re not going away until they get their pound of flesh. Get out of that thing, put your hand on my arm and put your head up. Here we go, love.”

Closing her eyes briefly in a silent plea for strength, Nora got out of the car and pasted her brightest homecoming queen smile in place.

         “Let’s go, Lancelot. Lead me into the fray.”

         Two months later, after kissing her sons goodnight, Nora couldn’t help but think about Aaron. Appearing from nowhere, just when she needed him was exactly his style. He’d always been her silent protector, the one person she could be herself with, who wasn’t preoccupied with who she was supposed to try to be, more concerned with who she hid behind her mask. She’d fallen easily into relying on his strength again, and that worried Nora. She’d done a lot of thinking since Oscar had left, and she had come to accept her own role in her life. No, she didn’t make Oscar cheat, and she certainly hadn’t deserved it, but she had let herself fall away. She had allowed him to become the center of her universe, without even fighting, had given up her own dreams without a struggle. That’s why she had taken a job as an office manager in the nearby town of Jasper. It wasn’t the career sixteen year-old Nora had secretly dreamed of, but it was a step towards independence, towards someday finding out who she would have been, if she hadn’t become so preoccupied with who she needed to be for her family and friends.

         Crossing the floor gracefully at the summoning knock, Nora wasn’t surprised to find Aaron standing on the other side. She inhaled deeply and rejoiced in the masculine scent that seemed to emanate from somewhere deep within him. He looked strong, and sure of himself, and completely capable of absorbing Nora into himself if she allowed it.

         “Can I come in?” he asked, already crossing the threshold.

         “I’m glad you’re here, Aaron. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” Nora gestured toward the overstuffed couch dominating her living room in a silent invitation to sit, as she noted nervously how small the space had suddenly become, filled as it was with Aaron’s presence.

         Leaning out casually, Aaron caught a stray piece of hair that had escaped from Nora’s ponytail and flirted with it with his fingers. He stared intensely into the green eyes that had dominated his dreams for most of his life and smiled gently.

         “Yes?” he asked expectantly.

         “I’ve been thinking a lot about how wrapped up I was in my husband. How easy it was for me to let go of everything for him. I think it’s important now to try to get some perspective on myself. I know it’s important and I wanted you to understand that. Please don’t think I’m not incredibly grateful for everything you’ve done, standing by me the way you did, but I’ve got to figure out how to do this on my own. You do understand?”

         Aaron stood and walked across the room to the fireplace. He studied the pictures on the mantle, while he gave himself time to put his riotous thoughts together into words that wouldn’t frighten the confounding combination of frighten girl and determined woman sitting behind him.

         “I don’t want to own you, love. Never have. I don’t want to tell you who or how to be, or shape you into what you think I want in a woman. I’ve watched you, these last few weeks start to maybe get your own back. I don’t want to interfere with that. I just want to watch.”

         Crossing back to the couch, Aaron folded his tall frame back onto the cushion and prayed he would find the words to make her a little less afraid.

         “I don’t want to trap you, hon. I just want to hold you. We’ll figure the rest out when you’re a little more ready to deal with it, hmmm?”

         Nora was finding it hard to think as Aaron’s fingers traced lazily up and down her cheek.

         “You can’t stay, you know. Tonight”

         “I know,” he replied, looking relieved. “Someday?”

         “Someday.” Nora twisted the word around in her head and liked the sound of it, liked the feel. More carefree than she’d felt since she was sixteen, Nora laughed into the blue eyes that had always been staring back into her own, and smiled. Settling back into the warmth of his arms, she crossed her feet at the ankles and propped them carelessly on the coffee table.

         “We’ll see.”