You Could Be That One Person

I was going through hard times. I was your typical, 14 year old girl, graduating the 8th grade, getting ready to move onto highschool. Only, I wasn't. Lately, I'd felt that there was something wrong. I constantly felt dizzy and found myself waking up in the middle of the night, sobbing uncontrollably.

I assumed that I was just having issues adjusting to this new life that lay ahead of me. I was moving onto high schoo, where there was more pressure, grades that mattered, boys, friends, and popularity. Everyone must be having this problem. At least that's what I thought.

Throughout that summer, I tried to live my life normally. My typical summer day included riding my horse, Snickies, and having fun at the barn with all my friends. But I felt detached. I felt that I wasn't there and that I wasn't liked. Worse, I never wanted to go to the barn. What used to be my favorite activity was becoming a burden.

In August, I went to camp. This was a horse camp, and I figured it would get me to love my favorite hobby again. I figured wrong. Halfway through the week, I felt like I was about to pass out. I went home and my mom took me to the doctor, who ordered what seemed like a million tests on my heart and brain.

The results were back. Everything was normal. I couldn't believe it. I started crying. I almost wanted something to be wrong with me, just so that they could fix it and I would feel okay again. This is when my doctor got the idea that I should go talk to somebody. A therapist.

I went to see this psychiatric doctor. After talking to me for about ten minutes, she knew. I had fairly bad clinical depression. Just hearing this made me cry. I felt like such a freak, like something was wrong with me. They assured me I would be okay, and that this happened quite often.

My depression wouldn't go away. I had to be put on Prozac. It was embarassing! I would tell somebody and they'd call me a freak or say that only weirdos had to be on pills like Prozac. But I had a handful of true friends, one inparticular.

I hadn't known him long. He'd gone to my school since I was three, but I don't think I ever spoke to him. One day I started talking to him online. I told him about my problem, and he cared! Right at the moment he told me that, I felt it starting to lift off of me. I had somebody who supported me! Somebody cared!

Every time I was feeling bad about myself, or wanted to hurt myself, I'd talk to him. I'd just tell him what was wrong and he'd tell me over and over again that it would be okay and how much he cared. He was my best friend. He was that ONE person, who no matter what, I knew he cared about me. That ONE person who saved my life. I never knew how much one person could do.

How do you put that into words? How do you tell somebody how much they've done for you? How do you tell somebody that you might not be here on this earth if it had not been for them at a moment that you were in need? I have yet to find the appropriate words.

It is now April. I am 15, and though I am still having some problems, I constantly feel better every day. And if I ever have a problem? I go to the one special person...