Caught in the Middle pt4

“Girl it was like a movie a swear I thought I had died and gone to heaven, I never had a man treat me so good. I love him I mean I genuinely love him and he loves me back. I never had a man treat me so good, its really like he said me and him against the world. Lisha gushed.

“Damn girl I wish my man was like that I mean I know Mack loves me, but with him it’s just business, business, and more business. He could stand to be a little more romantic. Maybe he should take some cues from Na.” Jeanie lamented.

Speaking of love what ever happened to that nigga T. I mean y’all fought a lot be he really loved you with a passion chiq.

“Yea he loved me so much that if I was even to look at another nigga he would want to whoop my ass. Mm-hmm yea he really loved me.” Jeanie said sarcastically

“Damn chiq I’m sorry I didn’t know all that, but why did you stay with him. I’m mean you’re beautiful inside and out shouldn’t no woman have to deal with that type of bullshit cause nigga ain’t worth it.”

“Shit if I knew then what I knew now that nigga wouldn’t of stood a chance with me I mean for a while I thought that was all I needed a man and I would be happy. I’m telling you girl try your damndest never to get into a situation, that was all fucked up and I took it until reality slapped me and I realized I had to get out. Remember this never settle for what a nigga just decides to give you especially nigga like that they just feed off insecurity and have you thinking they’re all you’re ever going to need. Don’t ever get stuck in that mentality that all you need is a nigga, because that’s something that you’ll never forgive yourself for. Now I’m not sayin’ don’t fall in love cause true love is beautiful I’m saying don’t fall into desperation. Yes desperation thinking that all you need is your nigga and you’ll be all right, that shit is not it please believe me. Love is wonderful, but desperation is something you don’t even need nor want.”

“Yeah I feel you on that one girl, I mean if Na were to ever act like that’ I don’t know what the hell I would do. I really can’t see no man doing that to a woman I mean my mom and pops had they little drama in the past, but T sound like he puts my father to shame in that department. Speaking of it I’m surprised they still together after all that mess, that type of shit makes women not want to have any man. True there are women out there that just take it till they drive themselves crazy with guilt, but I’ve seen both sides of the coin and love will make you do some crazy shit. I would never want anyone in love with me that much that they feel like they have to possess me all hours of the day. The way I see it is we chose each other so I would expect you to know I’m not going to pull anything on you regardless of what the situation is. Now if he cheating on me I’ll leave him, and I would expect if he ever even suspected me of cheating he would leave me, One thing I do not want is no crazy possessive man."

“Amen girl but enough of this love talk when are we going to light this spliff all this thinking is making me wanna smoke more and you know conversation gets deep when we get together. So stop yappin’ and light that.”

With that Lisha lit up and they fell into deep conversation about the world their family and their men as well as gossiping along the way.
Soon after Lisha finished chillin’ with her older cousin she said her goodbyes, and soon as she left she heard the phone ring and Jeanie arguing with Mack. Damn I’m so glad my man is in to me not just his hustle Lisha thought. The weed still having an effect made her giggle at their argument. She went down the stairs to he car only to find a BMW she recognized as Joseph’s she went over and said hello to him.

“Hey Joe what’s up what you doing over here?”

“Taking care of business you know the deal girl. Where’s Na at?”

“Doing the same as you we’re supposed to chill later, why what’s up?”

“Nothing I’m just trying to see what’s up with him and since y’all are always together I thought you would know.

“Well I don’t know but call him on his cell and you’ll probably get him iight?”

“Ok later Lisha.” he gave her a kiss on the cheek goodbye.

“Peace Joe.”

She got into her car and went home to find her mother in the living room looking worried when she saw her. Lisha gave her mother a kiss on the cheek and sat down. She asked her mother what was wrong and she said Nahsir had called and said it was urgent to call him back on his cell phone right away. Soon as Lisha heard the news she knew something bad must’ve happened cause he never called her sounded panic like her mother said. After their conversation she immediately called him and was shocked at how anguished he sounded.

“Baby I need you to get to Philly quick I need you please come down here. Please.” he said with pain in his voice.

“Na what happened you don’t sound right sweetheart what’s wrong tell me please what’s a matter?”

“My father just passed away,” with those words he started to sound as if he were going to cry and the phone went dead.

With that Lisha rushed around the room found some clothes and stuffed them in her duffel bag. She took a shower and all traces of her high vanished she was concerned about Na and nothing but him right now. She changed into a sweat suit and put on her sneakers and grabbed her keys. She went downstairs to tell her mother what had happened and told her she’s be gone for the rest of the week which didn’t matter cause it was winter break. He mother gave her blessing to leave and Lisha ran out the door and sped away her destination, Philly. She got there in record time and called Nahsir, he didn’t pick up, she found his mother’s house from memory of being there before. She went up to the door and the door was opened before she even rang the bell. She was greeted by Na’s mother and other family members.

“Lisha Na is in his old room he’s been asking for you for a while go up and see him baby, he is hurting something terrible.” His mother Veronica said.
“Ok Ms. Morris I’ll go and see if he’ll talk to me he sounded very upset on the phone I don’t know if he feels like talking,”

“He’ll talk to you chile no doubt about that go up and see him.” she gave Lisha a hug “Be strong for him.”

With that Lisha went upstairs and found Nahsir in his room looking at a picture and sitting on a leather recliner with silent tears running down his cheeks. She approached him cautiously. When he saw he motioned for her to sit on his lap, she went and sat down and looked at the picture he was gazing at. It was a picture of his father she guessed they looked almost identical except he was taller and skinnier.

“This was my father baby I knew him for only a short time but in the years I did know him we grew so close that you wouldn’t even know we were separated. He died of a heart-attack and I don’t know why he was a relatively healthy guy, he was my pops and I loved him and I’m gonna miss him a lot. I mea what do I have to live for now boo? My pops is gone and I don’t know what to do maybe I should just end it all I ain’t got shit except you and I need to know something that you’ll never leave me Lisha. Everyone in my life has left me except for you and I just want to know that you’ll continue to be there for me maybe not forever but for now. If I didn’t have you I don’t know what I’d do right now I really wanted to end it and I was just sitting here really contemplating what would happen if I acted out what I was thinking. Then I thought about it and I thought about us and I didn’t know what you would do if I would’ve gone through with it, you are the main reason I didn’t blast myself already. Baby I need you just promise me you won’t leave me right now, if you do I don’t know what I would do. I never had anyone that close to me die before it feels like I’m empty I don’t wanna feel like this anymore and I’ve been just sitting her having flashbacks of me and my pops and then I break down. I really don’t know how I’ll act at the funeral and that scars me usually I have control of my emotions. Baby I just don’t know anymore I just don’t,”

with that he started to cry Lisha had only seen one man cry before in life and that was her father when her grandfather had passed away. She didn’t have any words for Na she just cradled his head and let him cry all his pain and frustration out. Her shirt was wet when he subsided to sniffles he hugged her tight. She helped him to bed and they slept in each other’s arms that night unsure of what the future held.

Lisha woke up the next morning confused she didn’t know if she dreamed about last night or if it was reality. Realizing it was real when she felt Na’s breath on the back of her neck. She moved and stretched and Na drew her closer and she realized where she was. He was talking in his sleep,
“Don’t leave me please what will I do without you? Don’t go dad what will happen to us, why did you have to go.” he pleaded.
Lisha turned around and shook him.
“Na wake up, baby wake up.”
He opened his eyes, which were bloodshot. She caressed his face.
“You alright sugar, you were having a nightmare and sayin ’don’t go’”
“Damn I was? I’m sorry did I wake you ?”
“No I was already up. You were dreaming about your father weren’t you?”
“Yea I was tryin’ to talk to him but he couldn’t speak and then there was a flash of light and he was gone. I was left by myself.”
“Oh baby I’m sorry I am going to be here as long as possible to make sure you’re alright. I know what your going through, it was the same way when my grandfather died. The fucked up thing was it tore my family apart, I mean my grandmother still isn’t right after that. The only person I trust is Jeanie my family is still torn up over it.” her voice started to break.

“Baby don’t cry come on me and you have shed enough tears for now. Baby I’ll do everything in my power to shield you from unnecessary pain. I’ll always be there, remember me and you against the world. I love you girl.” he said with a sad smile

“I love you Nahsir, always.” With those words they cuddled closer and fell back asleep again in each other’s arms.

When Lisha awoke the next morning in the queen-sized bed she felt so small like she was the only person left in the world. She was the only person left in the world, she looked for Nahsir, but he was gone.

Damn I wonder where he went.

She went to take her shower when she emerged and went to the adjoining room in just a towel, she was startled when she saw Na and Joe on the couch talking. She gasped and ran back into the bathroom. Two minutes later Na knocked on the door she let him in and he smiled at her. Lisha was fuming as well as embarrassed.

What the hell is he doing here? Babe, I’m in my towel and he saw me like that.”

“I’m sorry boo I had to go pick him up and fill him in on what’s been going down, “Please accept my apology.”

“All right but bring me my clothes. Cause I sure as hell can’t go out there.”

He went and came back with her duffel bag.

“Why you getting dressed so fast boo?”

He went and grabbed her from behind and gently sucked on her neck, She turned around and her kissed her deep and she kissed him back with a passion.

“Wait right here.”

He went to go Joseph they’d talk later. He came back and they continued to kiss and somewhere along the line her towel fell and Na’s clothes came off. They were both caught up in passion and pain, wanting to relieve each other of their burdens. They ended up in the bed .

Na whispered, “You want me to taste you ?”

“Yes baby I want you to”

Na got up and spread her legs and started kissing her breasts, then he went to her stomach. He went down farther and began laying gentle kisses on her thighs. She squirmed with pleasure. He entered her with two fingers and she gasped, she was soaked. He started to kiss closer to her valley he kissed on it and gently sucked, he then entered her walls with his tongue. Gently probing he continued to make her moan with pleasure, when he found her g-spot she went into a frenzy. He went slow and steady flicking his tongue with a rapid pace, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Baby make love to me please, make love to me.”

He obliged and they caught a rhythm so good it brought tears to her eyes she came over and over tears streaming down her cheeks. He kissed her and wiped away her tears then he exploded himself. They laid in each others arms her head on his chest for awhile while they caught their breath. Na held Lisha tight.

“Baby I want you to honor me with having my seed, I want to be linked with you in that way.”

“Boo, I will probably have your seed in the future, but right now I am too young. No doubt I love you with a passion, but when everything is calmed down then I’ll probably have your seed,”

She kissed him and he held her , they drifted off to a peaceful sleep.


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Meanwhile back in the city drama reigned supreme and Jeanie was having her share with Mack.

“Yo why every time we get together you jump down my throat, I’m tryin to make this paper for both of us, don’ you understand?. I mean you got everything you could want a nice car, jewelry, nice apartment. I have to stay on my grind in order to have all this.”

“Nigga please, the reason I jump down your throat is we never spend time together all this shit could be gone in the blink of an eye. I never spend time with you and when we do your cell is always ringing and we start arguing. I mean I am grateful for all you’ve given me, but if I could just spend time with you uninterrupted it would mean so much. I know you’re blowin’ up, but we been together for almost 3 years. At first we spent time together, but now I’m feeling neglected, when I’m by myself and I see couples I think of us and what we used to have, each other. Before all of this hustling bullshit. I want to build with you not tear down what we’ve built. If anything you could start going legit, I know we saved some cash we would be alright. You don’t have to stop right now, and this isn’t an ultimatum, but we came into this together and I want both of us to come out together in the end.”

“Baby I understand now a little better, but you know I can’t just stop like that. I promise you eventually I will. All I ever wanted to give you everything you never had and more. No matter what you think I love you even with al our problems, I am definitely going to make an effort so we could be together more often I promise you that. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to go legit, but our future looks bright and hopefully we’ll keep it that way.
“Bey I love you and hopefully our love will grow stronger in the future,” She gave him a kiss and a hug just then the phone rung. Mack answered.

“Jeanie your cousin is on the phone she says it’s important.”

“Hello, oh my God are you serious? We’ll be right there”

“What’s wrong boo?” Mack asked.

“Nahsir’s father died and Lisha wants us to go to Philly to go see them”

“Oh word Na is my nigga, damn I know he real hurt right now. Let’s pack some clothes and be out.”

They got ready hopped in his Navigator and were out to Philly. Following Lisha’s directions they made it to Na’ mom’s house. Lisha and Na were in the living room waiting for them.

Jeanie walked over and gave Lisha a hug, “Girl you holding up? When we heard the news we rushed over here. How is Nahsir holding up?

“He’s still depressed he’s better then before when he first found out, he’s going to be alright, I’ll make sure of it.

“Oh that’s good I mean he looks like us when we found out about grandpa, just heartbroken.”

“Yea I was telling him about that, but I’m just trying to keep him calm you know?”

“Yea girl I know, well let me talk to him and see how he’s feeling, be strong alright?”

Jeanie went over to Nahsir and gave him a sisterly hug and they sat down and started to conversate.

“Hey girl long time no see, so how you feeling?”

“Me I’m fine. I’m more concerned about you though, how are you feeling?”

“Really I’m still in shock mode and sometimes I just get really angry for not even getting to say good-bye. I just say him a couple of weeks ago healthy, alive just loving life and now he’s gone. Gone Jeanie that was my father I’m his 1st born and it hurts to know the last time I’ll see him he’ll be in a casket.. I’m tired of this feeling, I don’t know if your cousin told you, but I was really considering ending it all. I don’t have no one except Lisha and my moms. I hate feeling empty like I have no spirit at all and the more I think about it the madder I get. I don’t even think that I could go to the funeral, just off the strength. I don’t know what will happen and I hate not having control of my emotions it’s killing me. Will I ever be happy, cause the way I ‘m feeling is dark real dark and I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

By now Mack and Lisha and were listening to their conversation and Mack spoke up,
“Na you my nigga, don’t get it twisted I know exactly what you going through. When my mom passed I felt the same way, dark depressed, but by some small miracle I started feeling lively again. Yes it took some time but, I grieved and now when I think about her I don’t think about her death I think about her life.”

“I feel you son, but it’s hard I try to think of all the good times we had, but all I could think about is never got to say good-bye. That’s fucking with me, hard and I know I have to get myself right with this, but it’s hard as hell. I’m gonna be iight in my own time. I just need to take your advice and think about his life and not dwell on his death. I’m gonna be okay I know I will. He motioned for Lisha to come sit next to him. Baby you know I love you something fierce and as long as you’re here I’m going to be alright. Just don’t leave me I need your support and I want you to come to the funeral with me.

“Bey you know I love you too and I’ll be here for you as long as you need me. You and me against the world.”

He kissed her sweet and simple and they knew that everything would be alright.


To be continued……..