Disappointment

Disappointment

You look so lost to me, like you've been emtied out and abandoned, left alone to deal with everything. You distance yourself from "Them", "Them"the people put here to enforce your pain. Pain showereed as love, but its rain they call it; tears fallen on us from the eyes of God. I'm sitting here, in this one room moteland I'm waiting. Waiting for what you may ask? Waiting for everyhting and anything,I'm waiting for you, cause I saw you. I saw you fall from his grace and now you seem more...Human, making mistakes and all. But still I can't help but feel the weight of you expelsion from heaven, as it hangs from my shoulder blades dragging me down on my knees. And the thoughts of "if only" running through my mind; the voice beneath me haunting me with "what could have been's" and "what never was". But like you I feel the knife as they step-up one by one to thrust the dull blade further into my spine, leaving behind traces of my open wounds.

And I feel like for all the time I've spent waiting for you, you'll never come. Maybe it'd be better to let go of this little girl dream; the dream of being saved and saving someon in return. I guess thats just too much to ask from this world, maybe it'll be different in the next...

And maybe these tears burning my cheeks will be cleaned away. Maybe "They" will just disappeared into the vast nothing thats always talked about, and someday when I'm not expecting you, you'll save me.

Or maybe someday, I'll give up on this little girl dream and let go of this life. Maybe I'll walk out of this motel room adn see the skys open up to the heavens above. Or maybe my soul will infest in these walls like a cock-roach and I'll never leave thie room again.