Broken Emotions

Looking at the silvery steel blade
Of the sharp razor
I reminece on what you told me

- ~Flash back~
"I found that you are ignoring me laterly when
I talk to you, I'm your mother. Tell me whats going on. I feel that something is wrong and we need to fix it. Your grades are not good! Whats going on? I want you to cut of all your friends..focus on school! I dont want you to end up like your brothers. I wont hesitate to throw you out the house. I mean it!"-My mother
~end of flash back~

Again with the threats
The same thing over and over again
I do something she dont like
She threatins me


She wants to know whats wrong?!?!?!
She's whats wrong. She is the reason I do this to my self-


Remembering all the threats and all the neglect when I was younger
always gone...never around
Why do you wanna be there for me now?
When I dont want you around...When I dont need you?

I put the cool,sleek blade to my arm
Draging it down i can feel myself cutting my self free
From all my troubles,my fears and hate and pain

Watching the crimson, sticky, warm liquid
Run down my arm crossing over each others path
Making it look like vains
My eyes going dull as I forget about everything
That was troubling me
I start to feel better
Like nothing was ever bothering me

I feel like I can do anything
Cutting my self free from this world
In this state I feel like nothing, Not even my mom can get to me
I feel on to of the world

I quickly bandage my arm
So no one will know whats going on
This is what they do to me
If I slip and cut something vital
At least I will be happy
Forever free
And away from this world that has done so much wrong to me
Away from my mom
The #1 reason why I turned out this way