Opal Introducing Me

I wrote this as an assignment for an online writing course in which I am currently enrolled. It was well received there and, since my portfolio is practically bare, I thought I'd post it here as well. The assignment required us to use a character from our writing to introduce each of us to the group. This was my 2nd attempt with the same character and it turned out to be really fun. Let me know what you think.


Well, ain’t this somethin’? Visitors! Here I thought Amy’d done gone and got bored with me like she duz everythin' else. She coulda given me a little warnin’, though. I must look a mess! Well, no use frettin’ ‘bout it now I s’pose. Jest git urselves comfy while I pour you some refreshin’ iced tea. So, whut should we talk about, the weather? I don’t s’pose ya’ll know anythin’ ‘bout why Miss Mary Bell had to leave town in such an all-fired hurry, do ya? What? Well, if that ain’t jest like her. She fin’ly lets me out after awl this time and it’s jest so I can talk about her.

Before I go borin’ you ‘bout Amy, let me introduce myself. I’m Opal and Amy likes ta’ make me the town busy body in her little stories. O’ course, I’m not, but I don’t really git a say as ta what she duz with me.

Well, now, as I'm shur yu'll find out, Amy is an odd bird. She’s jest a little twig of a thang, not much to ‘er at all. Bless ‘er heart. She stays shut up in that thar apartment o' hers and ventures out o' doors only when she has ta'. And that apartment o' hers? WHAT A PIGSTY! Awright, maybe that ain't entirely the truth. I reckon pigs pro'ly live cleaner than she duz. Bless ‘er heart. She keeps sayin' she's gonna' clean it up, but she keeps pro...pro...pro...Aw, shucks! She keeps puttin' it off.

She don't like people none, 'cept fer a real small handful. She won't git close to 'em and has a real problem when they try ta git too close ta her. It makes ‘er wonder whut they want from ‘er. The poor thang's had quite a few bad 'speriences with some "friends" that she's known off 'n on her whole life, bless ‘er heart, and some boyfriends too. Boy! She shur can pick 'em! The only ones that she says are "close friends" are them that she's met on that thar computer o' hers that she hides behind awl the time. Don't ya'll thank it's a might strange that these "close friends" have a great, big ocean separatin' her from them? Ya'll wanna' know whut I thank? I thank she's purty much given up on real human folk. Bless ‘er heart. With whut I've witnessed with her, I cain't rightly blame her fer it. But she really seems awright with it. She don't act lonesome er nothin' and she's fer shur set in her ways.

Now, Amy luvs ta read an' write. It's the only thang 'bout ‘er that's ne'er changed. She maybe coulda' dun somethin' with it, but like a lot o' snot-nosed teenagers nowadays, she thought she awready knew it awl an' dropped out of school in her teens. At 34, she's desprit ta git back whutever it wuz her teachers praised her fer. She feels she's dun gone and wasted everythin' good she had goin' fer her. Bless ‘er heart. She's 'specially scared that whutever it wuz, she cain't git it back. We're both hopin' that this course'll give her the little shove she needs and she's hopin' it'll help ta spark her creativity. O' course, I tried ta tell her it's sparked 'cuz here I am and I wouldn't be here without it. Since she's turned inta a stubborn, bitter, sarcastic, smart-ass she jest turns her nose up at me and pays me no mind. But, hey, I don't doubt none that ya'll 'll be able ta help bring out the good things she keeps hidden away. Bless ur hearts. I reckon there's still some good in her.

Well, bye, now and it wuz really nice meetin’ all of ya’ll. Maybe next time you can stay a little longer and I’ll try ta find out whut happened to Miss Mary Bell.