Ruby the Untalented Talent Scout

“Ruby the Untalented Talent Scout”

         Ruby the Reindeer was a talent scout. She searched all over the galaxy for only the most talented creatures. Her profession required her to scour the universe high and low for the most unique talents. Unfortunately, Ruby was terrible at recognizing talent.

         Ruby used to work for Santa Claus. You know, in the sleigh, with the Jingle Bells and all that? Well, a few years ago when technology was at an all-time high on Earth, Santa decided to upgrade, which resulted in mass lay-offs. Subsequently, Ruby lost her job.

         So, after Ruby was laid off, she searched for another job. She tried working as a tour guide for an art museum on Mars, then as a Prison Guard on Saturn. She even tried working as a hair dresser in a fancy salon on Pluto, but she failed at all of these jobs. One of her problems was that she missed Earth. Unfortunately, she was ill-suited for any Earthly jobs, or so she thought.

         Finally, after a great deal of searching, Ruby found a job that allowed her to travel to Earth. Ruby became a talent agent for the Rainbow Talent Agency, which specialized in talent of all races, colors, species, genders, etc. The agency prided themselves on their clients, from the famous opera singing ogre, to the infamous smelly teddy bear.

         Ruby was often assigned to Earth, where she frequented nightclubs and such places, looking for those few talented performers who were unrecognized for their skills. Of course, when Ruby visited these places, she had to wear a disguise. She found that most were fooled by simply a tunic and a wig. Earth was a great place to find talent because humans were so oblivious to the things around them. In fact, many humans saw strange things everyday, but they block them out; their minds refused to believe what they would consider impossible.

         Many talented performers went unnoticed on Earth until they were discovered by galactic talent agents. For instance, there once was a mosquito whose body was plated with steel. It lived near a volcano, and was protected from the dangerous lava. The mosquito was lucky to have been discovered at all! One determined and hard-working talent agent heard a rumor of the mosquito, and braved the active volcano. Others said it was suicide, but the mosquito was recruited and is now making a very decent living on Mercury.

         Ruby had been visiting comedy clubs nightly in a small town in southern Florida for weeks, and hadn’t found anyone she felt possessed talent. One night in particular, Ruby sat alone in a booth in a dark corner of the club. She sat in the dark corner because she was careful not to be noticed. All she needed was to get kicked out of another club. Ruby was sitting there peering at the stage, bored out of her mind. For some reason, most of the comedians were telling jokes about a hurricane, which she didn’t find funny at all. Ruby began brooding, instead of listening to the performers. Earlier in the day, Ruby had received a communication from her supervisors. Due to her lack of performance lately, she was close to losing her job. She had to find talent, and fast. So while she should have been paying attention to the stage, she sat brooding, and before she knew it, the club was closing for the night.

         Ruby stepped out of the club, and started to make her way to the forest just outside of town. She slept in a make-shift shack which had been constructed, then abandoned by a group of children. It contained only a roof and two walls, but it was enough for Ruby. All of a sudden, as Ruby was wallking down the street, the skies started to turn very dark and the wind picked up. Ruby knew something was amiss. By the time she reached the edge of the forest, she couldn’t see anything in front of her. In fact, the only thing Ruby could make out was the full moon in the night sky, as it shown through the heavy clouds in a blurred dot like a night-light. She pushed ahead, but quickly got lost in the woods. It was at that moment that a large branch hit Ruby over the head knocking her unconscious for the rest of the night.

         When Ruby woke the next morning, she found herself in a part of the forest she had never seen before. There was a beautiful pond with crystal clear water, and a meadow with fresh green grass and beautiful wild flowers. Well, Ruby thought to herself, at least when I lose my job, I know of a place where I might be able to live. Ruby ate some of the fresh grass for breakfast, as she observed the damage the night storm had done. She then trotted over to the pond for a drink, and that’s when she started to notice movement in the woods around her.

         Birds flew in the air, performing all sorts of acrobatics. A nimble gray squirrel pirouetted in a pink tutu around a group of trees, while a chipmunk sang a beautiful song in accompaniment. Ruby was perplexed at all of this strange behavior. She had seen strange things before, but never so much in one area. A brown donkey made its way past her toward the meadow.

         “Excuse me,” Ruby spoke to the donkey. “My name is Ruby. May I ask you a question, please?”

         “Not now!” the donkey replied. “I have to get some flowers for my fiance." With that, the donkey plodded over to the meadow and began plucking flowers out of the ground with his teeth.

         “Well, maybe I can help!” Ruby called after him. She made her way over to the meadow, and began picking flowers for the donkey, asking him questions all the while.

         “So, is there a particular reason you’re picking flowers for your fiancé?”

         “Yeah. I stayed out a little late last night with the rest of the guys, and now she’s mad at me. I’m going to give her this bouquet to make up for it. Do you think that will work?”

         “Well, I certainly can’t say for sure, as I don’t know her. But I imagine it should.”


         “Just in case, I’m going to give her a locket I found in the woods the other day, too.”


         “Um, if you don’t mind my asking, Mr. --”

         “Roberts. Sam Roberts, but you can call me Sammy.”

         “Okay, Sammy…. What is this place? I’ve never seen so many strange creatures in one place before!”

         “Oh! I guess you’re new here. This is a secret place that humans don’t seem to know about. We gather here because we’re not accepted by others for one reason or another.”

         Ruby and Sammy continued to talk as they made their way to Sammy’s home. Sammy explained that each of the animals that lived around the pond had special talents, or something strange about them that made them leave their own kind. Some were even banished by their species.

         Soon, they were at Sammy’s home, which was a cave cut into the side of a hill, with a plank of wood used as a door. Sammy led the way into his home, and called to his fiancé. “Clara? I’ve got something for you, and I’d like you to meet my new friend, Ruby. She‘s a reindeer.”

         Clara came out from the back of the cave. She was the most beautiful polar bear Ruby had ever seen. Ruby’s eyes widened in surprise and awe, as her jaw dropped at the sight of such a beautiful creature. Clara blushed and said, “It’s very nice to meet you, Ruby. I know what you’re thinking, but it’s not true. I’m not a polar bear.”

         “Then, what are you, if you don’t mind my asking.”

         “I’m an albino black bear. I was shunned by my family for my color. I came to live here, and met Sammy. Won’t you stay for lunch?”

         “Sure,” Ruby replied. “That would be lovely!”

         So, the three gathered for lunch and discussed their lives. It seemed that there was a problem arising in the forest surrounding the pond and the meadow.

         “We’ve noticed signs being put up on the outskirts of the forest,” Clara explained. “Those of us who can read were sent to decipher them. Someone is planning on tearing the forest down! They’re going to knock down the trees and build an amusement park here! I might as well beat them to it, and tear down trees to make my own coffin. I can‘t make it in the world out there! None of us can!”

         “Oh, that’s dreadful!” Ruby replied. “And bad news for me, too. I’m certain to lose my job, and I was planning on living here!”

         Sammy was curious. “What kind of job can a reindeer have?”

         “Oh, I’m a talent agent for Rainbow Talent Agency. I search all over for talented creatures to perform for the universe.”

         Suddenly, the three all had the same thought. Well, it took Ruby slightly longer to come to the conclusion. When all was said and done, however, they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

Word Count: 1546