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Rachel unexpected feelings comes to the surface. |
Chapter 3 Michael’s frequent visits, phone calls and e-mails kept the flirting between them ignited, but neither had the courage to make the first move. Words seemed unnecessary to express their feelings and desires; many times, a look was all it took. It was torture to contain feelings for fear of what people and family would say. She never understood how an older woman would consider being with a younger man until now, but she could definitely see it as a possibility. Three months later, as they walked out of the restaurant at the pier, Michael took Rachel’s hand in his. Rachel’s sensuous body moved next to him as her cream dress clung to every inch of her fit body. “Rachel, we need to talk,” he said, stopping and looking deeply into her eyes. “What is it, Michael?” she asked as she saw his anxious gaze. “Let’s go to the car.” He rolled down the windows, and leaned toward her, resting his right elbow on the back of her seat. “Rachel, why won’t you tell me what you really feel?” he asked, his sparkling green eyes disarming her as he caressed her hair which was being blown by the gentle breeze coming through the open windows in the car. She nervously looked away from him as her heart raced. “When we talk on the phone, we always say, ‘I love you.’ Do you really?” he asked, gently taking her chin in his hand and turning her face toward him. She looked down and only silence followed, unsure of how to respond. She wanted him, but did she love him? “You know I do,’ she said, “as a friend.” “I’m not talking about that kind of love, Rachel,” his look intense, passionate. “Well...” he was really getting impatient with the uncertainty. “Look into my eyes Rachel and answer me, please.” Looking shyly into his eyes, the power of his gaze grabbed her and she could no longer hold back her feelings. “Yes, I do,” she said as she felt all her defenses tumbling down. Michael’s face lit up and from his formerly serious expression emerged a broad smile. He gasped for air. “I love you too, Rachel.” Michael slowly slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her face close to him as his full lips looked anxiously for hers. She trembled from anticipation as he drew closer to her; in a split second their breath became one. To her, this was like no other kiss; the passion and the intensity of the sensations burst all her senses. Her hands ran through his thick hair and along his neck; his hands moved down her back and over her neck, causing her skin to react to his touch as he continued pulling her body closer. With each swirl of their entwined tongues, she wanted to give him her all. His lips were soft; she knew they would be, and she enjoyed the sweetness of his mouth. Suddenly she pulled away from him. “Please Michael don’t,” she said, looking around to see if anyone familiar was nearby. “We can’t do this.” Her lips were still warm and moist from his kiss. “I don’t understand,” he said, moving closer to her again, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke. Rachel looked at the gorgeous young man who had managed to make her lose control, afraid that she would go all the way with him; that’s what she wanted. Her heartbeat throbbed in her ears. “You are only twenty-six.” She tried to get away from him, but he stopped her. “And?” he asked. “It’s not going to work out,” she said as she felt drawn to his lips just by looking at them. His hands caressed her face. “You don’t know that, baby. Please don’t this,” he said, looking for her lips as he desperately moved closer and closer to her. His lips were more persuasive than she cared to admit and he claimed hers one more time. He smothered her lips with demanding mastery. “Oh Rachel, please say you’ll be all mine…” he said breaking the passionate kiss momentarily and then his mouth covered hers hungrily. “I can’t, I can’t…” said Rachel, panting, unable to brake away from his warm lips. His hands moved gently down the length of her back and she wanted him, only for herself. Deep inside it was a burden to know their feelings and even worse to renounce them. Or would she have the courage to face the whole world and act upon that love? Weeks passed by after their love confession and Rachel desperately tried to stay away from Michael in an effort to avoid complicating things further. She knew there must be an explanation for the changes she was experiencing -- the renewed desires to love again, the sleepless nights, her constant worries about her future... She continued to fight for her wholeness. She felt going through the most difficult time of her life; not only was she a widow but she started experiencing some physical changes as well. Her once dormant body while she raised her kids and built her law firm was suddenly alive. This was the worst possible time for that, after all, she was alone. By contrast her professional life was under control; at the same time that she was pursuing a new career, she continued operating her law office along with her associates. But there was something she was unable to get under control; the way she missed Michael. She sat at her desk in the office and checked her e-mails. “Here we go again,” she said looking at Michaels e-mails in her inbox. She didn’t even bothered reading them anymore. She would mark them and delete them. At the other end Michael glared at the screen hoping to get a message from her. “Nothing,” he said closing his lap top after checking daily for response to his heartfelt messages to her. “It’s useless, she won’t answer,” he said disappointed. Rachel wanted Michael to make his life with someone else, even though it would break her heart if she saw him. To think of someone else loving him the way she wanted to was unbearable at times, but that’s the way it had to be. In the meantime, Michael buried himself in work to drown Rachel’s memory. Their confession of love was the beginning of the end for them, and that hurt him. What hurt the most was that she never even bothered to tell him what she planned to do and ripped him out of her life for what seemed to be an eternity. Rachel knew deep inside that if she contacted him once, she wouldn’t have the will power to stay away from him, no matter the consequences. So she gathered strength and didn’t look back for her sake. She was hopeful that it was all an obsession that would soon go away. Michael, on the other hand, couldn’t get her out of his system; he didn’t know if he could go on with his life without her. A knock in her office’s door brought Rachel back to reality. Her best friend Melissa peered through the door. “May I?” asked Melissa in her usual happy tone. “Sure, come in,” said Rachel quickly getting up from her chair behind her desk and walking towards her. She embraced her childhood friend which seemed to know every time she needed her the most. “Welcome back!” said Rachel after not seeing her friend for five months. “Thank you,” said Melissa embracing Rachel. “Tell me, how was that time in Orlando?” “Hell, you don’t know how much time it takes to train new people,” said Melissa rolling her eyes and letting her body fall on the sofa. Rachel sat next to her. “I’m glad you’re back,” she said. “How have you been?” asked Melissa noticing the darkness in Rachel’s eyes. “I let something really stupid happen,” said Rachel. “What?” “Mel, I think I fell in love with the wrong man.” “What are you saying? You are in love and I didn’t know about it?” said Melissa putting her hands on her waist. “I’ve hide it from everyone,” said Rachel with a guilt gaze in her eyes. “And who is this man? Is he married?” “No, nothing like that.” “And what’s the problem?” Melissa’s wavy hair fell forward as she leaned towards her friend. “Mel, you know Michael,” she said. “Don’t tell me! Your friend from California?” “That’s the one,” said Rachel. “Oh girl, I don’t blame you. He is absolutely gorgeous!” “And young.” “But how in the world this happened?” “While you were away Michael was coming here frequently,” she said. “He expanded his business and I was handling all of his contracts.” “I see.” “It all started innocently but before I knew it we were flirting.” “And when did you find out about your feelings?” “He was the one demanding to know them after months of unending phone conversations and e-mails. In addition to frequent dinners together and unending nights at the office researching for property, one thing led to another. I couldn’t deny it Mel,” she said as Melissa held her hand. “Its okay, Rachel, it’s not a crime.” “The thing is that after we confessed our love for each other I got afraid and haven’t talked to him since.” “Do you think you can stay away from him?” “I will Mel, I can’t do this.” “Well, good luck girlfriend. I don’t think I would be able to do such thing.” “But tell me, how is your dad doing?” “He’s fine, I had to leave him at the nursing home while I was in Orlando, you know he is very frail. He’s happy to be back home again.” “Bless his heart, it’s been hard for him since your mom passed away,” said Rachel. “Very hard, but I’m glad we have this time to spend together,” said Melissa with a soft smile. She was daddy’s little girl and her brothers lived too far away to see him more than twice a year. “You’re a good daughter, Mel” said Rachel “and a great sister,” she continued as she winked at her. “I’m glad we’re such good friends.” Rachel held her friend’s hand and looked at her tenderly. Where would she be without her? Friendship is such an important part of people’s lives, finding good ones a real challenge by today’s standard of living. |