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Rated: 13+ · Other · Satire · #877895
Satire. When the train stops, life as we know it in small town Oregon, comes to a hault.
Living in Cottage Grove means living with THE TRAIN. THE TRAIN that stops in the middle of our town bringing life as we normally know it to a hault.

I was one of those drivers who would try to out smart THE TRAIN. I thought I could win against THE TRAIN. All that crazy driving down this street and up that one. I found myself in traffic jams with others who thought they could win against THE TRAIN.

These days if I find myself forced to wait for THE TRAIN, which again has stopped, bringing our little town to a hault, I turn up the tunes move my seat back and just relax. If it's not raining I open the top of my car. If it's a sunny day I work on my tan. Don't forget your sunscreen.

Then one day sitting, watching THE TRAIN as it slowed to a stop, I started thinking of ways to use this time. Here are a few TRAIN waiting activities.

1. Think of things to do while waiting for THE TRAIN to begin to move again.
2. Count how many people you see SINGING. 3. Work out what all those buttons on your mobile
phone actually do.
4. Alphabetize your cd's.
5. Exercise (pick up that briefcase/purse, put it
down. REPEAT!) Butt clinches.
6. Choose what type of animal other people that are
Waiting most resemble.
7. Step out of your car; yawn, and watch the chain
reaction as the rest of the people waiting begin to yawn. 8. See how close you can get to the bumper of the
person in front of you before they start inching
forward.
9. Visit with the other drivers waiting on THE TRAIN. Exchange important information (gossip). This is a small town, we all know each other.
10. Read some more of that book you hate to put down. Do put the book down when THE TRAIN begins to move again.
11. Go through your wallet removing old video library cards and receipts.
12. Honk your horn to make sure it works.
13. Write a long list about what you could be doing
instead of waiting for THE TRAIN to move.
14. Write your Congressman and/or Senator and tell them you are sick and tired of waiting for a TRAIN you are not going to ride. Blame them!
15. Knitting - very therapeutic and you could knit a gear shift bootie or a steering wheel cover.
16. Play I spy something (only if you have a passenger).
17. Detail your dash.
18. Change pantyhose and/or freshen your lipstick. That pedicure you haven't had time to do?
19. Have a playstation installed in your car. Then you could play your favorite games. Just remember that you are in your car and have to drive the real car when THE TRAIN has moved.

Who knows, if you really enjoy what it is you do while waiting on THE TRAIN, You might start looking for ward to the time you have when THE TRAIN stops.

If we had a schedule for the time THE TRAIN would be stopping in Cottage Grove, We could then decide to not be driving around town when THE TRAIN stops.
Or we could head for our favorite TRAIN waiting spot, to enjoy our favorite TRAIN waiting activities.

Just a moment. Is that THE TRAIN I hear? Where's my sunscreen? Gotta go!
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