Angryman, Misadventure #1

The Lemonade Stand-Off

It was like an outdoor oven one summer day, and just like any other neighborhood, one neighborhood particularly felt the heat. It was on Blair Street, though, that the kids in the neighborhood, led by ten-year-old Jenny Gallin, decided to pool what little money they collectively had and do something about it.

While Jenny dragged an old but sturdy table out of the garage, her ten-year-old friend Betty Barnes, who lived next door, employed her art skills to make a “lemonade” sign. At Betty’s request, her older sister made ten liters of lemonade from scratch.

The rest of the kids in the neighborhood, meanwhile, had employed their various talents—art skills and all—to advertising the lemonade stand throughout the area surrounding the neighborhood. Soon, the front of 133 Blair St. somewhat resembled Grand Central Station. By the end of that first day in business, almost every piggy bank on the block was filled with the profits—which totaled about $100. Those children slept good and happy that night.

At about noon the next day, while Jenny and Benny were manning their lemonade stand and serving customers (all under their parents’ collective supervision, of course), a big, tall man wearing a red outfit (tights and all) with a green belt and boots arrived. His size made Goliath look like one of the seven dwarfs compared to Jenny and Betty. He did not smile, though, and when he saw the little lemonade stand, he looked down at it, mashed his face, and curled up his nose. He also breathed very heavily. Upon looking up at him, Jenny and Betty lowered their jaws. Then, at the top of their lungs, he screamed at them, saying: “I am Angryman, and this lemonade stand makes me angry!”

With one hand, Angryman picked up the lemonade stand and thoroughly destroyed it. He then took the lemonade on that table and, with neither explanation nor compunction, poured it all over Jenny and Betty, causing the two girls to retreat quickly into their various homes.

The girls' parents initially came out to try to make Angryman pay for what he'd done, but--at the height of his lungs again--he shouted: "I have no tolerance for happy people! They're wimps!" The parents wre forced to back away and wave the stench of his breath away from their noses, before eventually retreating into their homes. Anyone else in the neighborhood who was outdoors before the incident immediately retreated into their homes upon witnessing it.

In the aftermath of that incident, a whole neighborhood was terrorized in one fell swoop, so much so that no one left their homes for much of that day after that incident.

What no one--not even Angryman himself--knew, however, was that not too far away, the entire situation was being watched by a group of individuals called the JRC (or Joy Restoration Crew). It was comprised of these individuals: The Glee Bandit, The Hopemaster, Wisdom Woman, Señor Bueno and their leader, Captain Encouragement...neither of whom wore any special superhero garb (or even typical villain garb for that matter).

Together, they raced to Blair Street to try to correct the situation. As they walked through the nieghborhood, they noticed that its residents were hesitant to leave their houses. Right away, Captain Encouragement assured them in a loud but encouraging tone of voice, saying: "It's okay to come out. We're not here to cause any trouble." At that, Jenny and Betty ran right out of their houses and quickly approached them. Jenny then asked: "Who are you people?"

"We're the Joy Restoration Crew, or JRC for short," replied Captain Encouragement. After each of them introduced themselves individually, Wisdom Woman asked: "Did that Angryman break your lemonade stand?" Jenny and Betty nodded in the affirmative. The Glee Bandit then said: "I know! Let's fix it for them! That way, everyone can at least enjoy what's left of today."

So, almost at lightning speed, off they went finding tools and materials needed to build a brand new lemonade stand. Wisdom Woman, meanwhile, rounded up all the wives, mothers and teenage girls living in the neighborhood together and made ten litres of lemonade. Soon, Jenny, Betty and the rest of the kids in the neighborhood were back in business.

The next day, Jenny and Betty once again manned their lemonade stand. This time, however, Captain Encouragement and the rest of the JRC hid in various different parts of Blair Street, keeping on the watch in case Angryman returned to wreak more verbal and mental havoc...

...and indeed, he did return. As soon as Angryman saw the new lemonade stand, he gritted his teeth, mashed his face, and proceeded toward it. But as he was reaching for the lemonade stand, the entire JRC burst out of hiding and intercepted him just in the nick of time. Captain Encouragement then said to Angryman, in a loud and clear voice: "Not so fast, Angryman!"

"That's right," the Glee Bandit added, "You will never again wreak any more havoc on these people than you already have."

"And you've caused enough nightmares for these children as it is," Wisdom Woman told Angryman.

"So, it's time to scram," Señor Bueno added, "Because tú es muy malo, and tú n'es bueno."

Puzzled, Angryman inquired of Señor Bueno: "What does that mean?"

Before Señor Bueno could respond, however, The Hopemaster asked Angryman: "Are you fluent in Spanish?" After Angryman nodded in the negative, The Hopemaster then added: "Well, good for you because frankly, if you knew what he meant in English, you'd be more angry than you already are."

"And unless you learn to control your anger, Angryman," Wisdom Woman warned him, "it will bite you in your posterior and become your greatest undoing."

"so, adios, muchacha," said Señor Bueno. Upon hearing that, however, Angryman sneered and growled, saying: "You did not just dare to call me a girl, did you?"

Just as Angryman proceeded to storm toward Señor Bueno, however, he tripped on something and fell flat on his stomach, missing the lemonade stand by a mere two inches. Just then, a liitle chamelion crawled out from underneath Angryman and approached Captain Encouragement, who then said: "Oops! I forgot to introduce you to our pet, The Kindness Chamelion."

After seeing the events unfold, the parents of all the children in the neighborhood came out, stood together before Angryman, and gave him everything from evil eyes to dirty looks--which, astonishingly, scared Angryman away. As he retrested out of the neighborhood, however, he adamantly warned: "I'll be back!"

As soon as Angryman was out of sight, The Glee Bandit commented: "Sadly, he's right. But with a little thick skin, he won't be back for long..."

"And if you don't let him get to you," Wisdom Woman advised the residents of Blair Street, "he won't."

"But just remember to smile," The Glee Bandit added.

"And don't forget that there is always a way out of anything that Angryman throws your way," The Hopemaster assured them.

"Just don't forget to call on us, the JRC," Señor Bueno said, "and it'll all be good."

From that day on, Angryman would never again be seen on Blair Street. Sadly, however, that is not to say that he wouldn't wreak havoc elsewhere...or on someone else, for that matter...