A Singular Goodbye

i love you with every inch of my skin.
my heart flows life through my veins because you give it that purpose.
i cant understand how you hold my soul so close,
so enamored i cant let go.
the only way to let go of you is to let you go.
i cant live to think, or see, or read, or know of you in the arms of him.
your smile is worth everything.
your smile kills me.

seems like the ones who have everything treat everything like they dont have anything...
they take for granted the fact the one special thing they have
is to someone else a life of treasure greater than all in the world.
this is what you are to me.

how it all came to transpire is an enigma to me,
as i was as blind then
as i am now when
we are together and i try to see a life outside of us two.
i cant keep being blind and i cant keep going on when i know that we can never happen.
soul mates?
no, soul mate.
you are to me,
singular
a singular feeling i get every time we separate.
its the feeling i have never been able to describe, not even to you.
you are the only one who knows, yet i still create a shroud of illusion over my truest beliefs and even i cannot fully understand...

which is why its time to say goodbye.
yet you will never know.
you are my best friend of many years,
i let emotions of jealousy and anger surface when our time together is not long enough,
which it never is and im not sure if it ever could be in the situation we are in.
then i cover my emotions by creating more emotions,
and i become an emotional person who i really dont like.
i have to convince myself you are happy with your life,
even though i can not begin to believe it.
i have to forget my fantasy of our life together.
or i will never be happy
singularly.