Greivances of a foodaholic

Have you ever wondered
what an ordeal it must be
To be unable to control your eating
and find your tummy all achy ?

I know it hurts a ton to have
horizontally challenging thighs;
That never seem to fit
into the countless jeans one buys .
And sure it pricks real bad when all and sundry
on you remark
And pull stupid jokes on your "healthiness",
all just for a lark.

But have you ever stood
behind your auntie's parlour curtain
And heard them wonder out loud
what size clothes should they buy you for certain ?
Or seen those mannequins they show
on teevee all the time
Who make it seem as though eating
must've been declared a crime .
And have you seen those shows that say "eat celery
and carrot sticks"?
I'm sure each time the spotlight's off
the host's guzzling butterscotch bricks.

Food, oh food, oh food, oh food,
the unimpeachable love of my life;
Unimaginable that you could cause such agony
and such strife.
I do love you, but right about now ,
I think I've had too much.
I'd thought anyone would have guessed that
from the first two lines as such .