confession

We spent a night together
in our underwear
on my friend's friend's couch.
We spent the whole night talking

and smoking butts--
I was charmed by her impression of
Porky Pig saying
"duh duh duh dildo."

She was part Japanese;
had wild brown eyes and
Xtra soft, brown skin;
very nice 18 yr old tits.

She mimed the words to slipknot
softly and gracefully
as we lay in her bed with Ash.

Ash was also 18,
pretty, petite, brunette,
and just as lovably insane.

OH heart!!
Two starlets in pajamas
each confessing that they were
bisexual
OH confusion of the heart!!

"Ash says you're a keeper."

The next day, as i drove home,
i thought of dying old men
whose dreams never came true.

****************************
we spent new year's eve together
b/c it was supposed to be her night.

i
made a
collection of
empty bottles and
set them on the table,
emptied out and transparent,

and she smoked a pack and a half
of marlboro reds.
we were silent as we walked into the bedroom

holding hands and i started to undress her.
her naked teenage
breasts
smelled like an ashtray
and her frightened virgin eyes
glistened
and at that moment i realized

that it was the drug
the drug that glistened in her eyes.

i think i heard her whimper
as i rolled over, leaving her topless
on the other side of the bed.

*******************************
After that,
all she ever did was cry
and cut herself.
so i stopped returning her phonecalls.

the next and
last time i saw her,
i was with my real girlfriend
and she walked up to me, drunk,
announcing that she was in rehab
and that she finally got laid
and came in chunks
and it was bomb.

she walked off, and,
turning the next chapter
in the book of my life,
i sighed.