The Day I Helped the Tooth Fairy

It was dark in my room, but the slightly parted curtains let in some of the moon's shine, and it formed a small rectangular shape on the floor at the foot of my bed. The house was quiet, except for the sudden shuffling and scratching noise that had jostled me awake. My clock radio told me that it was just after midnight, and I had been sound asleep for more than an hour. The noise was continuous, and it seemed to be moving it's way to the edge of the roof just over my window. I pulled the covers up to my neck, and my heart began to race. I could feel a cold sweat begin to form on my skin, and I was afraid. I tried once to call for Mom and Dad, whose room was down the hall, but my voice froze in my throat at the thought of being heard by whatever was making the racket. I could only hope they would finally hear it and come to investigate.
The noise turned to the side of the building, and the scratching and shuffling noise was driving me nuts. The covers did little to comfort me as the noise was now right near my window. I could only imagine what unexplained horror awaited me out there, and my imagination caused me to pull the sheets over my head in fear.
It was at my window! I could hear the whatever-it-was trying to pull it open. I cringed, and remembered the window was locked. I waited for the smashing of glass and the roaring, drooling beast to come devour me in my bed, leaving a trail of slime behind it. I bet this thing had big, fat tentacles like an octopus, with a slug-like body, and razor sharp teeth which would...knock at my window?
I heard the knocking again. It was a light knock against the glass, and it threw me off guard. I peeked out from under the sheets to see the face of a chubby guy looking in at me. He knocked again, and motioned for me to open the window.
I slowly got up and walked over, but didn't open the window just yet.

"Come on, kid, it's freezing out here!" He said in a voice that didn't scare me at all. As a matter of fact, it sounded kind of sad.

"Who are you?" I had found my voice again, and, for some reason, I was not afraid anymore. I actually felt calm, even with a strange guy looking in my second floor window.

"My name is Bernie." He began. "I'm your tooth fairy."

"What?" I was skeptical, to say the least.

"Tooth fairy, I'm the tooth fairy! Come on, kid, open up, I've got a lot of other places to be tonight."

I opened the window slowly, and as I did, Bernie's foothold let go, and he swung away from me. I was able to see that he was hanging from the roof by two ropes, and he had a large cloth bag which looked to be full.
He was also dressed as a ballerina...with hiking boots on.
Bernie struggled for a minute. "Here, kid, take this for me." He handed me the bag, which I pulled through the window. He followed soon after, grunting his way through the window and into my room. He plopped on the floor, and undid the ropes from around his waist. He was breathing heavy, and sat for a minute to catch his breath. I shut the window, and, after a minute, he stood.
"Ok, here we go." Bernie took a piece of paper from his pocket, and opened it up. He was going to begin reading, but stopped short, and thought for a minute.

"You're supposed to be in bed."

"What?"

"Bed. You're supposed to be in bed. I'm supposed to read these words as I stand over your bed, where the subject, that's you, is supposed to be sleeping."

"But you woke me up." I was confused. Was this guy for real?

"I know, kid, and I'm sorry, but really, go on, get in bed. I've got to do this right."

I climbed back into bed, and lay on my back, watching Bernie, as he started at the window and began to tip toe his way to my bedside.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Shh. You're asleep." Bernie stopped, and started reading from the paper when he was standing over me.

"Quick as a wink, Quiet as a mouse, I don't make a sound as I enter the house.."

I went to say something, but he shushed me.

"Tip-toe, toe to tip, into the childrens' rooms I slip,
Quietly speaking the words I said, I now stand by the childrens' bed.
Careful not to wake this youth, I will now take the young man's tooth."

"But.." I began speaking, but Bernie stuffed his hand under my pillow, and started to root around.

"But Bernie.."

"Hey, kid, sit up for a sec." I sat up and Bernie lifted the pillow, and ran his hand over the sheet. He then stuck his hand between my mattress and headboard, and rooted around in there for a minute, "Where is it?"

"Where's what?" I asked.

"The tooth."

"What tooth?"

"The one you lost. The one you're supposed to put under your pillow for me to take, so I can leave you a 50 cent piece."

"I didn't lose a tooth."

"What do you mean you didn't lose a tooth?"

"I didn't lose a tooth, see?" I opened my mouth, and Bernie gazed in to see all of my teeth sitting there staring back at him.

He was confused for a minute, and he took another, longer piece of paper out and looked at it intensely. "Is this 545 Elm?"

"No, it's 454."

"So you're not Billy Anderson?"

"No."

Bernie sighed, and sat on the foot of my bed. He rubbed his forehead with his hand, and I could tell he was frustrated. I felt sorry for him. "You haven't been at this very long, have you?" I asked.

"No. My sister, the real tooth fairy's at home. She broke her leg when she tripped on some kid's toy and fell down the stairs. She asked me to fill in. 'The tooth fairy never takes a day off', she said. She wrote down what I'm supposed to say, and showed me what I'm to do, and she gave me a bag of 50 cent pieces and sent me on my way. I thought, 'How hard could it be?'. I come in, take the tooth, leave a coin, and go. Easy right?"

"Sounds easy." I said.

"Well, it's not what it's cracked up to be. So far this week, I've gotten chased by three dogs, had the police called on me twice, slipped on some ice in the sidewalk and fell on my butt, and got hung up in a tree." Bernie looked at the floor in shame.

"Wow." I never thought about what the tooth fairy's job entailed before.

"When I got tangled in the tree, I dropped my bag, it burst, and teeth and coins went everywhere. It took me over an hour to get out of the tree and pick everything up."

"That's awful." Poor Bernie! I was feeling so bad for him, I almost couldn't stand it.

"It set me back on my schedule, and at the end of the night, I was missing $6.50 and 9 teeth." Bernie sighed.

"I'm sorry, Bernie. I really am. I wish I had a tooth for you to take."

"Thanks, kid. But, I've wasted enough time here. Now I'm really behind schedule. I've got 12 more houses to get to tonight, and the sun will be coming up in a couple of hours or so. I've got to go." Bernie stood up and opened the window, leaning out to grab his ropes.

"You sound like you need help. Let me go with you."

"Say again?" Bernie looked at me with some surprise.

"Let me help you. I know the area pretty well, and I'm sure you could use some help carrying the teeth and coins. We can swap off, I'll go in one house, you go in the next, and so on." I started pulling on jeans over my pajamas, and was looking for socks.

"Whoa, kid. Thanks for the offer, but I can't bring you with me. My sister would flip!"

"She doesn't have to know. As far as she's concerned, you're getting your job done, right? You need to do all this tonight, and you need help."

"But you're not covered by our insurance."

"It'll be OK. I promise. I'll be careful."

Bernie looked at me for a long moment. He was trying to decide. He needed the help, but he knew that he probably shouldn't take me along. I was pulling on my shoes and jacket while he decided.

"Ok, kid. If you really want to help, you can tag along."

The first house we came to was a single story house with two kids, the older of which, a boy, had lost his tooth. We made sure we were at the right address, and found a window that was open. This was going to be easy. Bernie handed me the bag, and took a coin out from it.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." Bernie said as he made for the window. I sat in the bushes with the bag and listened for signs of people waking up. It was quiet and cold, and I felt a shiver. I pulled my jacket around me tighter as Bernie's feet disappeared through the window. I waited for a few minutes, and finally got up slowly, and walked to the window as quietly as I could, peeking through to see what was going on. Bernie was feeling under the pillow for the tooth, which he found. Carefully, he placed the coin under it, and turned to face the window, where I waited. As he turned, his elbow bumped the lamp on the bedside table. It rocked for a moment, then fell to the floor, in spite of Bernie's attempt to catch it. It rattled off of a large plastic fire engine, whose siren went off when the lamp hit it. The piercing whine woke the child up, who, noticing that there was a big chubby guy in his room, screamed at the top of his lungs.

Bernie ran for the window, and dove through, scrambling his way to the ground, and landing in a belly flop. He jumped to his feet and we ran as fast as we could. Lights came on in the house, and there was a lot of commotion to be heard as we ran down the street and behind a patch of shrubbery. I peered through to see a man out in the street in sweat pants and sweatshirt looking around, up and down the street, before going back in the house.

Bernie and I walked through a small playground and to another street. We were quiet for a while, then Bernie broke the silence.

"Maybe I'm just not cut out for this. I can't be a tooth fairy. Look at me!"

I looked. He did look ridiculous in a ballerina outfit and hiking boots. The leg of his tights was ripped, and he had skinned his knee trying to dive out the window, or maybe it happened when he hit the ground. His outfit was dirty, and he had to be cold.

"Look, Bernie, you can't give up yet. We still have a bunch of houses left to visit. You just need to be more careful, that's all. Don't try to rush, just take your time. Don't bother with the stupid words you're supposed to read. Just get the tooth, leave the coin, and go, right?"

"I guess. Maybe I should just bring you back home, kid."

"Don't be silly. I told I wanted to help, and I still do. Now come on, let's go, I'll take a crack at the next house."

The next house was also one story, and the only window open was through the bathroom. The window was too small for Bernie anyway, so I went in. He hoisted me up, and I slid through feet first, coming down gently in the tub.

"Be careful kid." I nodded, and tip toed through the bathroom and out into the hall. The house was silent, except for the ticking of a clock on the wall. I moved towards the child's bedroom, and crept through the door. Bernie was at the window, watching. I put my finger to my lips to shush him, and he nodded briefly. I carefully slid my hand under the pillow, brought the tooth out, and replaced it with a shiny new 50 cent piece. The kid never stirred. I crept back to the bathroom, where I went back out the window into Bernie's arms, as he was there to catch me.

"Good job, kid! This is the best one I've had all night! Let's go!" Bernie was so happy, I thought he was going to burst. He was a lot more excited now, and we had a little more energy as we went to the next one, which was a two story house.

Bernie looked at it, worried. The child's bedroom would be on the second floor, no doubt, and knowing what happened at my house, I'm sure Bernie was not too excited about coming down off the roof again. He looked at me, and I gave him my best encouraging look. Then we took to the trees.

Climbing on the roof from a good, sturdy tree limb, Bernie wrapped the ropes around the chimney, and the other end around himself. He started to walk towards the edge, his shoes scuffing, when I stopped him. He understood, and tip toed his way to the edge, barely making a sound. Then he pulled the rope taut, and lowered himself over the edge with a thumbs up to me.

I climbed back on the tree and down to the ground. Waiting in the bushes, I was there for what seemed to be a long time. I had a worried feeling in my belly that he'd get caught again, or knock something over, or hurt himself or...

"Hey kid! I did it! I did it!" Bernie suddenly appeared next to me, tooth in hand, and if I didn't know any better, I'd think he was a kid himself. He bounced happily, and gave me a big hug. "I finally did one right! The kid even rolled away from me when I touched his pillow! He never woke up!"

"That's great Bernie!" I said, happy for him, and relieved at the same time.

"...And there were toys EVERYWHERE!"

"Great job, Bernie! Where to next?"

One by one we arrived at each of the remaining houses, and one by one we succeeded in trading a 50 cent piece for a tooth. Bernie and I made a great team, and before we knew it, he had climbed out of the window of the last house on the list.

As we approached my house, I could see that, just behind the trees, the sky was beginning to turn pink. I yawned. It had turned out to be a great night, but I was tired, and I started to get cold again. I bundled up in my jacket, as we approached the tree which would get us up on the roof. Bernie boosted me up to the first branch, and we made our way up. Ropes secured around the chimney, Bernie lowered me to my window, where I climbed in, untied the ropes, and watched as he pulled them up. I never heard him on the roof, but I saw him get to the tree and climb down to the ground. He was gathering up his bag, which we had left at the base of the tree.

I put my jacket away quickly, and took off my outerwear until I was back in my pajamas again. I went back to the window, but Bernie was gone.

About four months later I lost a tooth. It was loose for a while and I liked to bat it around with my tongue. I finally knocked it out when I was brushing, and I almost lost it down the sink. Saved in a paper towel, I waited for bedtime, and shoved it under my pillow. I laid awake for a long time before sleep finally won me over.

The next morning, I woke up quickly, and tore away my pillow from its resting place. My tooth was gone. There was no coin in it's place. I frowned for a minute, and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, and put my feet down......on a bag. It was Bernie's bag. I opened it up to find handfuls and handfuls of shiny 50 cent pieces, and a note from Bernie:


To my newest friend, and business partner,

Thank you for all of your help that night, and for not letting me quit.
My sister's doing well, and has retired to Florida,
where she's in business with the local Easter Bunny.
I couldn't have done it without you.
You helped make me what I am today.

Signed, Your Friend,

Bernie, the Tooth Fairy.