O-Chem Anxiety

Now I sit me down to take
this O-chem test, my brain to break.
I know I studied hard and true,
But I can't help wishing for the flu.
It would be better being ill,
Than to write reactions of the carbonyl.

So here I sit, I think and fester.
Is that a ketone or an ester?
Oh, help me, Lord, I don't know the Claisen,
It's almost worse than a firing squad facin'.
I squirm and sweat and start to freak,
How I wish I was a chem science geek!

I hear the clock, it's ticking, ticking, ticking,
Minutes passing, it's time to be panicking!
Scribble and scratch, oh no! Erase!
I hang my head and rub my face.
I just can't get this pesky structure!
At this rate, I'll need acupuncture.

Is that an acid or a base?
I have electrons pushing all over the place!
Do I rip off a hydrogen? Or protonate?
Is that acetic acid or an acetate?
So many things, I'm so confused!
In four hours, I'm gonna be boozed!