Wanna Be A Poolgirl

"Good afternoon, Wet Dreams pool management. May I help you?"

"Yeah, like I'm calling about your ad in the paper for a lifeguard." a very young female voice replied

"Well yes, we are hiring lifeguards for the summer."

"Cool! I'm like a totally good swimmer and I look totally hot in a two piece." The young girl says.

"AH, well do you have any experience?" I ask.

"Well I'm a totally good swimmer and my mom always makes me watch the kids in the pool."

"I mean have you ever lifeguarded before?"

"Totally, I just told you."

"Ah, have you ever been a lifeguard for anyone besides your mom?" I ask, looking around for the
Advil.

"Oh sure, like my aunt and my neighbor totally let their kids swim while I babysit. I totally watch them, it's really cool."

Giving up on this line of questioning I decide on another.

"What makes you want to become a lifeguard?" I ask.

"Well you get a totally great tan."

"Is that the only reason you want to be a lifeguard?" I say shocked.

"OH NO, no way."

"AH" good I'm thinking "What else makes you want to be a lifeguard?"

"Well all the totally fine guys are always at the pool." she replies with a giggle.

"So you just want to get a tan and meet cute guys all summer?" I say as I rub my temples.

"Totally."

"I don't think we are hiring anymore lifeguards right now but can I interest you in a summer pass to the pool nearest you?"

"But like, I don't get paid if I'm not working there." she says.

"No, no you wouldn't get paid just to lay out all summer."

"Right, so that's why I want to be a lifeguard." she says.

"I'm sorry, I just don't have any openings right now. Maybe if you call next summer."

"But like next summer I'll be a senior and all my friends will be at the beach so I can't work then. I have to be available, it's my last year with them."

Thinking quickly I say

"Well if you start this summer you will have two full summers instead of one to do all you want to do before you are out of school."

"Cool! I like totally didn't think of that. I have to go, I have to call Missy!" she replies excitedly.

"Thank you for calling Wet Dreams pool management.

CLICK

RING....RING....RING

"You have reached Wet Dreams pool management. If you only want to become a lifeguard to sit by the pool and get a great tan or like just meet a cute guy or girl we have no positions available. If you <CLICK>


RING....RING....RING

"You have reached Wet Dreams pool management. If you only want to become a lifeguard to sit by the pool and get a great tan or like just meet a cute guy or girl we have no positions avail <CLICK>

RING....RING....RING

"You have reached Wet Dreams pool management. I hope you all DROWN!!!! CLICK

"I QUIT!!!"