My World

Shit. That happens a lot. Sometimes I’ll just be sitting there and I’ll mutter, “God damn it,” for no real reason. Then I’ll say, “Oh, man I’m tired.” What I’m really trying to say is, “Wow, I’m bored. The conversation’s really quiet. Since no one’s saying anything I feel like there’s a void in the conversation. So I think I’ll fill it by complaining.” And then other people go, “Yeah, dude. I hear ya. I was up till one o’clock last night doing work and I’m tired as shit.” In reality, they probably weren’t awake past twelve, but it makes for a more interesting conversation if everything is to the extreme. Actually, nothing is ever to the extreme, but if people didn’t pretend it was, their lives would be so dull, they could drool during work and their bosses wouldn’t reprimand them because they would understand the cause. Honestly, when was the last time you actually saw something really amazing or an act that personifies an abstract quality so accurately you could cry at the beauty of it? It doesn’t happen. That’s for Hollywood. The real world is actually quite dull. And then you collect a group of people who aren’t interested in impressing each other with lies of stupendous feats they did or saw, and they’re just bored. And then someone says, “Shit, I’m tired.” Because they are. They’re very tired. Tired of the same shit day after day. And then all of these curse words flow into their conscience because it makes them feel good to have something to reprimand for their boredom. But they don’t know what to blame. And curse words are so vague, it could be anything they’re blaming, so curse words fit just the meaning of discontent and restlessness they’re trying to convey. And then curse words really are just an expression of the frustration someone is feeling. In this case, it’s the expression of absolute boredom and sickness with the tedium of life. And that’s why the person’s mind fills up with curse words. Because they can’t sit and figure out why they’re so pissed at the world. It’s because they’re bored. They don’t have anything to do except work. And work for what? So they can sit around and say, “Shit, I’m bored.” Now, that’s something to work for, lemme tell ya. And this overall discontent with life is cured with a simple device – the television. People sit for hours in front of that dumb screen and stare, wide-eyed or crusty eyed, depending on when they started watching. Incubus describes it quite well in their song: “Idiot Box.” Because that’s what it is. An idiot box. It’s a bunch of discontented people sitting around and trying to live vicariously through the rapidly shifting lights and the special effects displayed by a group of cords, circuits, and a big, black box. Television is the ruin of society. Movies are the same thing. People want the life of the characters in the movies and they get a vague wisp of it by watching someone else – even if it is fictional – accomplish what they never could. Mind you, I love movies, and I watch a shitload of television, but I still have to admit that’s what they are – idiot boxes. And then the show ends, and the restlessness returns, and the people wait for the next show to come on. Because the only alternatives are work and eating. And bored people eat a lot. Eating is another great cure for boredom, because it fills up time, it’s not work, and it tastes good. So people eat. Or they sleep. People sleep to get rid of that awful feeling of “Why the hell am I working so hard?” People aren’t bored when they’re asleep. And that’s why people are always saying that they’re tired. Because they want to sleep to get rid of that awful feeling. Damn, it really its amazing the ruin our society has fallen to. People are so damn lazy it truly is amazing. People just don’t have exciting lives. It’s a tough truth to face. And then they go to work and wish they were somewhere else, and the movie or program ends and they wish they were somewhere else, and they finish their meal and they wish they were somewhere else, and the game ends and they wish they were somewhere else, and they wake up and they wish they were somewhere else. And their thought finishes, and they say, “Damn, I’m tired.” I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one in America that functions this way. But who knows? Either way, it doesn’t matter. I’m hungry. Maybe I’ll set up a TV table and heat up some leftovers.