Nutcracker, Schmutcracker

I'm sitting here at the
Nutcracker, Buttcracker
in a stupid tie.
This SUCKS.

I can't poke my sister
cuz I'm next to mom
and she said she'd spank me
if I even thought about kicking
the seat of the crusty old lady
in front of me.
Nutcracker, Suckcrackers

Fluffy pink girls dancing,
guys in tights who's moms
probly made them come too.
Nutcracker, Duckcrapper

This might be cool
if the rats were huge lizards
and that loser prince could
be a dark ninja knight.

Then it could be the
Nutkicker, Buttkicker
and girls would be
forced to come instead!