A misguided and confused young lady attempts to correct the past. 1994 |
My heart is racing wildly I can hardly breathe Closing in around me As I roll my sleeve Razor poised abve my wrist My life strolls past my eyes Throbbing heart pounds in my ears A tremble in my thighs Reflections of my memories The times in days behind Review the life that's stored away Locked within my mind Mistakes were far to numerous To re-play them all The failures draw forth agony As they leap into recall A child conceived through circumstance The source of great debate A night of fear and shattered trust A date that led to rape A baby born to unwed child Though great and high the cost A moment gazed upon her face And then the child was lost A parade of failed relationships Now march past my eyes The highs and lows, the pain that grew The beatings and the lies The close out of the human race Was something I could boast But, sadly, lost along the way Were the ones that mattered most My mind jumps back to present And to my deed at hand With sweaty palms, I swallow hard My wrist looks oddly tanned My mouth feels dry, tastes salty As I climb into the tub I seat myself and draw a breath Banging knees, I pause to rub My thoughts start spinning wildly As I struggle for more time I pause again, begin to think Without a reason or a rhyme I arrive upon a topic My Regrets, I have a few I close my eyes and lean back They weave by, as if on cue Of tattered life and innocence The intensity undiminished A journey lost, a sight unseen The things I never finished A book of many pages Sits incomplete in dusty case The daughter lost so long ago I've not chanced to see her face I'll miss the wind Bright stars at night The flowers and sparkley things The poems I've yet to write My few friends and family The goodbyes I never said But most of all my beautiful cats I'll miss when I am dead I draw the razor straight and true And blood spurts from my arm With a lump in my throat and tear in my eye It's time to buy the farm Blood gushes out, with a gurgling sound As it trickles down the drain My head feels light, my skin grows cold As the life ebbs from my brain A dizzy swirl of faces past Collide with words unsaid And dimly merge with deeds undone Inside my groggy head It's far to late to turn back now Icy chills run down my back And life once known and treasured Slowly fades to black |