Brokenhearted

Describing how brokenhearted I am and asking Jesus for help

Brokenhearted

I have loved you for 25 years
But now I face my biggest fear
Losing you permanently, forever
Wondering now if you loved me ever, or just stopped caring. If the latter is true, our lives we won't be sharing…How could you say you love me forever, but never say goodbye. For a long time now I have outbursts of anger or I cry.
What happened to the “you” who loved me? I've been abandoned to live in misery. I feel alone and completely unloved. Now more than ever I need Jesus’ love from above. I need His love down here on Earth…for in Him, I find my true worth. Jesus please heal my broken soul and heart. I'm sorry for constantly acting like a bitter tart.
You said he and I are meant to be
Please open his eyes so he can see. Open his heart to your love and forgiveness. Please help clean up this awful mess. Please bring us together again. Let him see the Truth about me, and the Truth about You. Help him see what is genuinely true. Heal his broken heart and soul too. Jesus, please do what only You can do…to heal us both completely and bring us back together again, this time forever, for on You I depend. Dark clouds above I need to be lifted, and his heart needs to be shifted. My innocence, I need You to defend, so this is not truly the end.
Only You can help us work things out. Only You can erase all doubts.
But if it will never be, erase him from my mind and heart please.
You know no one will love him as much as I do. So why do I feel like I am the one to lose? Why is it me left feeling so blue? Jesus, I desperately need You. I need help doing things Your way. I need You every second of every day. I gave him the better part of 25 years of my life. Please Lord, end this strife, so I may become his wife. Let Your way shine ever so bright. For You, O Lord, are The Light.