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Turns out, Heaven and Hell aren't exactly like you thought they were. |
| [Introduction]
Think of this story as kind of like a sitcom, following three friends as they go about their day to day lives at their job. Said friends just happen to be a trio of newbie succubi, and their job happens to be obtaining fresh souls for the underworld, typically through seducing their "clients" into agreeing to infernal pacts that grant them what they desire most in exchange for their soul upon death. Their job isn't particularly difficult, either. As it turns out, most humans will give away pretty much anything they own to get what they really want. Even their very souls. It's their competitor, Virtue Inc., that really has a hard time. They especially have a hard time recruiting, as almost nobody, especially humans, seem interested in working from basically no reward other than the satisfaction of doing good deeds. |
| In a seemingly innocuous waiting room, there sits three young, and admittedly very attractive women. One might think they were just unusually beautiful humans, if not for their strange skin tones, horns protruding from their heads, and pointed tails. One of them, the one with bright red skin, turns to the blue one sitting to her left and asks "So I take it you two are here for orientation as well?" The blue and purple skinned women nodded. "I'm Jezzabelle, by the way. But you can call me Jezzy."The red one says, extending her hand. The blue and purple shake it, introducing themselves as Desdemona and Valencia respectively. "Nice to meet you." They all say, before Jezzy asks "So, I'm guessing you're both fledgelings too?" "Uh huh." Desdemona replied, nodding excitedly. "I used to be a cheerleader as a mortal. Made a deal to become the most popular girl in my school. It lasted for about a week before the accident, and I woke up here. But hey, I try to see the positives in everything. Now that I'm like this, I could have any guy I want! Seems like a good trade to me! You can call me Dezzy, if Desdemona is too formal for you, by the way!" Valencia sighed " I was an outcast in my mortal life. Men would barely even acknowledge me, and women would mock me. Say I was a freak. I made a deal to be admired and loved, then came the gas leak. But now, here I am with the body of a Playboy model. I hope I get the opportunity to reap some much deserved vengeance of the ones who made my life miserable." She said that last part with a growl, clenching her firsts before turning and smiling at Jezzy and adding "You can just call me Val, if you'd like." Jezzy couldn't help but have a hint of sadness on her face as she heard the other's stories. "I wish I could say I relate to you. I was from a rich family and had a pretty good life. Then my father was diagnosed with an inoperable tumor. I was desperate to save his life, and no doctors could help my family. So, I made the deal, and here I am." Before Dezzy or Val could offer their sympathy, the door on the other side of the waiting room opened. There stood a most voluptuous woman with dark red skin, dressed in a business suit and tie. "Ladies? You may come in now." The three newbies entered the woman's office and stood before her as she sat behind her desk. "I have no formal name, but you may refer to me as Lilith, or Lily if you prefer. Welcome to Temptation Corp., I shall serve as your supervisor and boss during your employment with our company. While you're here, I encourage you to think of myself and your co-workers as not just contemporaries, but family. I think you'll find working for us not just profitable, but enjoyable as well." Dezzy raised a hand. "Yes?" "What exactly will we be doing here, Ms. Lily?" "Your jobs are quite simple. Whenever we are contacted by a prospective client, you answer their call and fulfill whatever it is they request. Their subsequent payment for your services will come in time. Now, I won't lie to you ladies, most of our clients will probably request to sleep with you, or otherwise wish for you to fulfill some deep desire of theirs. Just remember, you may as well try to enjoy it as much as them. That's part of the fun of this job, after all. Any more questions?" |
| "How about possible downsides?" Jezzy asked. "I mean, what sort of things will we be learning that might be usable in other jobs? Likewise, competing businesses that might try to pouch our talents and such." "Depends on the situation," said Ms. Lily. |
| "Does our work also involve the seven deadly sins?" Valencia asked. "You know, they include wrath, sloth, pride, envy, greed, lust, and gluttony." "Now that you mention it," Lily said. "There was a client who exhibits these traits who we've been trying to help for days. Do you girls think you can accommodate his request?" |
| The trio looked at each other and shrugged. "I guess we can give it a try." Val said. Lily smiled. "Excellent! However, that particular client is more of an advanced case, and seeing as you're all new here, I think it would be best if you got some real work experience first. So, I'm assigning each of you an easier task before I give you that case." She handed them each a portfolio from her desk, containing info on their first missions. "Now, you have your assignments, so get out there and make us proud! Across from my office door is an elevator. Simply enter it one by one, and it will take you to your respective client." The trio exited their boss's office, and approached the elevator in question. Jezzy entered first, and pushed the up button. The next thing she knew, she was standing in the center of what could only be described as a rather nerdy boy's bedroom, with various pop culture figurines and posters adorning the walls. Before her stood pretty much a walking stereotype of a nerd as well. Glasses, braces, freckles, the whole shebang. "It actually worked?!" The young man exclaimed "I didn't really expect the ritual to succeed! I sort of did it as a private joke. But since you're here now, how about we have some fun?" Jezzy sighed. Something told her she didn't want to know what this guy's definition of "fun" was. Still, it was her job now to fulfill her client's desires, whatever they may be. "My name is Jezzabelle." She said "What is it you desire?" To her surprise, the young man didn't immediately try to pounce on her. "I was thinking we could have a nice time together before we get down to business." Jezzy was visibly shocked at this request, not that she was complaining. "What did you have in mind?" The young man reached under his bed and pulled out a long carboard box. "I've been working on my own homebrew D&D campaign, and need someone to help me test it out." Dungeons and Dragons?, Jezzy thought. This guy really is a walking stereotype. Regardless, she agreed to his proposal. At least he has the decency to treat a lady to a sort of date before trying to bed her, she thought. Not that D&D was exactly her idea of a first date. "I've never actually played this game." she said "So you'll have to walk me through it." The young man smiled, his braces shining in the room's light. "I'd be happy to! I'm Martin, by the way." |
| "Jezzy is mine." She looked at the books. "This is interesting." "You shall not-." a voice began intoning, from behind a bright light. "Wait! Do I know you?" The light dimmed, and Jezzy found herself looking at a young woman about her age, one that was familiar to her. "Crystal?" "Jezzy?" "It's good to see you, situation withstanding," said Jezzy. "I was at the funeral. The guy that ran you over got 15-25. Seems that, among other things, they were drunk and had stolen the car, in addition to running you over. Whole class was shook up over your death." "I saw," said Crystal. "What about you?" "Father had cancer," said Jezzy. "I made a deal." "I see," said Crystal. "Hey, do you know how to play D&D?" Martin asked. Crystal looked at him, and then back at Jezzy, and then back at Martin. "Never played that game." |
| As Crystal and Jezzy settled in, Martin gathered up as much junk food as he could find. "Shall we get started?" Crystal asked as Martin stuffed his face with potato chips. "I guess so," Jezzy said. Just then, a large, chunky cat came into Martin's room. "That's my cat, Rick," Martin said. "We both love to eat." Rick walked up to Jezzy and brushed up against her leg. "He must like you," Martin said. |
| A few hours later... "Well, not bad at all for beginners!" Martin said as the two succubi had just completed helping him test his campaign. Jezzy had to admit, she always thought D&D was for geeks, but she actually found herself having fun. "So,what did you think?" Martin asked. The two demons looked at each other. "Honestly, it was kind of easy." Crystal said. "Yeah, maybe a little too easy." Jezzy added. "Maybe consider making the encounters somewhat more challenging? Other than that, it wasn't bad." "Okay. I appreciate the feedback." Meanwhile, Dezzy had appeared to a shy, but not bad looking young man in another city. "Hi there!" She said "I'm Dezzy, from Temptation Corp. How many I service you today?" The young man seemed rather bashful, unable to stop himself from blushing as he took in Dezzy's alluring appearance. "Um...hello. I kind of...just...wanted an escort for a party?" He finally managed to say. Dezzy giggled. "Sure thing, big boy! I'll be your plus one!" |
| (Actually, Crystal's part of Virtue Inc, not Temptation Inc - the bright light and angelic intoning should of been a clue - I'm trying to pull off a little scene or two from Good Omens.) Jezzy and Crystal were outside of Martin's place, invisible to most. Demoness and Angel looked at each other. "So, how have you been?" Jezzy asked. "Doing good, mostly," said Crystal. "Gets annoying dealing with the egomaniac sorts. At least he just wanted some players to give him feedback." "It's funny how D&D got an early bad rep due to over-zealous priests and the like to find things to blame on dwindling church attendance," said Jezzy, as she looked up the info on a tablet. "You'd think that they'd welcome a game where folks were able to kick ass in the name of the Lord." Crystal chuckled. "I know. So, how have you been?" "Honestly, first gig, so, there's that," said Jezzy. "Still, got an idea on this. I'll say that I tempted him, you say that you brought him back towards the light." "It's not too far off," said Crystal. "See you around?" "We'll see." Both went back to their head offices. |
| As for Val, she was dealing with a married couple, both of whom were men: Sam (the rounder of the two) and Eddie (the thinner of the two). The two were trying to have a child of their own, but there were a few bumps in the road for them. For one, their house wasn't big enough for three. "I think you may want to consider this," she said to them. "Ever thought about getting raises in your respective jobs to expand the house?" |
| "We've tried that already." Sam replied. "We actually work in the same place, but our boss is too much of a tightwad to give anybody a raise." "Think you could help us?" Eddie asked hopefully. Val sighed. "I suppose it's my job to do whatever it is you wish. Maybe I can "convince" your boss to increase your salaries by greasing the wheels a bit. If you get my meaning." Back with Dezzy, she and her impromptu date had just arrived at the party. Fortunately, it was a costume party, so nobody would really care about Dezzy's appearance. Her date, whose name was Tom, came dressed in a vampire costume. Albeit a rather cheaply thrown together one. "I love parties!" Dezzy said excitedly, grabbing Tom's hand and dragging him toward the front door. "This should be fun!" But to her disappointment, it was incredibly dull. Everyone was in costume, but they mostly sat around, chatted or played cards. After about an hour of boredom, Dezzy declared "Okay, enough of this! Time to really get this party started!" |
| Jezzy was back at head office. "How were things with the D&D guy?" Lily asked. "Um, good, I guess," said Jezzy. "I think I tempted him." "You met with one of the Virtue Corp," said Lily. "Yes." Lily looked at her. "You did well," the head demon said. "Clearly it wasn't one of the sanctimonious asshole sorts that thinks that they are holier than thou. Those ones are a real pain in the tail, and wings, and more. "I wonder how those ones enter Heaven." |
| "Martin wasn't even a problem," Jezzy said. "Even his cat, Rick, was a treat. I don't know why, but I've always liked cats." "I understand," Lily said. "I happen to have cat allergies myself." "That's so sad," Jezzy said. Meanwhile, back with Val who was working with Sam and Eddie... |
| Val stood outside her client's workplace, sighing to herself. "I can't believe I'm gonna do this." She had altered her clothes to look like a business suit like Lilith, and temporarily made herself look more human. Even so, her figure was still very clearly noticeable through it. She stepped inside and made her way to the boss's office. She entered to find him sitting behind his desk,. "Who the hell are you?" He half growled when she entered. "Let's just say I represent two of your employees, who are in desperate need of an increase in their salary." The boss scoffed. "Oh really? So they hired some broad off the street to try and bribe me? Well forget it! I haven't given anybody a raise in twenty years! If they don't like it here, they can work somewhere else." Val was increasingly disliking this man with every word he said. She had thought she would have to butter him up sexually to get Sam and Eddie that raise. But now, she was having a different idea. Maybe she'd have to teach him a lesson on respecting his employees. A very painful and humiliating lesson. |
| "If you think that I'm some sort of hooker that's going to use my sexual wiles to blackmail you into giving my clients that raise, you'll be wishing that I was that by the time I'm done with you," said Val. "I'm actually in charge of a rather large investigation against you. A joint-operation, if you will, involving, at the very least, the IRS, OSHA, EPA -" "What does Environment Protection have to do with this?" the boss asked. "I saw that you got two pairs of very rare eagles repairing what looks like a well-used nest on your windowsill," said Val. "I hope that you don't tell your workers to destroy it when they clean the windows. After all, those nests are protected by law. $50,000 fine for destroying the nest, and three hundred thousand for destroying each egg, and three years probation per egg, minimum." At this, the boss turned his head, and saw a bald eagle pair, and a golden eagle pair, working beak and talon together, putting together a huge nest on hid windowsill. "They weren't there this morning!" he exclaimed. "Ah, but I'm sure that if I were to ask anyone else, those four strange birds have been nesting there, for years," said Val. "But, how?" the boss asked. "Haliaeetus leucocephalus alascanus and Aquila chrysaetos canadensis don't like each other, and never share nests!" "Maybe, but the Public loves a good story, and a story where some bigot keeps trying to destroy a communal nest, all while being oppressive to their workers, is one that will get you booed all over." |
| "What are you suggesting I do?" The boss asked. "I've prepared a little graph that might set you straight," Val said. She pulled a blackboard out of thin air and started writing with a piece of chalk. Soon, her graph was completed. "This line shows how many employees have been unable to keep a good home because of their employer's avarice," she explained. "And this line shows how many have been able to keep a good home because of their employer's generosity. Say you were going to have a child, how would you keep a healthy home?" "Who cares?" The boss said. "I've always hated children!" "Then I believe you need to do something humiliating for me," Val said. |
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