The Past Haunts Me

I had never thought that my childhood was how I reflected when I grew up. I never thought it would affect me, thought that was until I started having memories, back to when I would get slapped or yelled at. I always thought my childhood was normal. Never seeing a reason why it should of changed. Not even a reason to stand up for myself. The silence had always haunted my mind.

Yet as I'm grown I see myself now acting like how I was treated. Like a constant reminder that if I would of grown up in a loving household maybe I would of been better. A chance that my parents would of cared or seen me as their daughter. Not some screw up that failed getting into college. Though now as I'm sat here writing in my diary I see myself thinking about myself in the way I was treated.

Haunted by the names I had been called, my mind constantly yelling at itself's that it can do better. Cursing myself like how my parents used to do. I never saw it before yet my past seemed to slowly be haunting my mind. Unable to escape it but slowly succumbing me. Changing how I treated myself and others. The little girl who thought it was normal now seeing how much it affected her.