Anxiety

I have spent the whole week nauseous
I don’t even have to make myself throw up
It just happens with ease

I hate feeling like this
Everything I say is wrong
Everyone I touch I hurt

I want to die

My mood is no longer in my control
I feel like crashing out
Or drinking until I’m numb

The self harm is coming
One way or another
Can’t even trust myself

I want everything to stop

I can’t let myself be happy
It always breaks
So what’s the point anyway

My thoughts spiral me
I’m never actually still
Even when not moving

I’m not worth loving

I keep having nightmares
And lost the ability to fake a smile
Even music is losing its appeal

I haven’t been this low in awhile
But it still feels like home
Maybe soon I’ll be able to let go of this world that holds me