The Reflection I Can't Stand

I look in the mirror
and see someone I don’t recognize—
a face that has hosted too many tears
holds too many unspoken words.
I can’t see the good,
not today,
not in this moment.

I hate the way I smile—
how it feels forced,
like an apology I never gave.
I hate the way I speak,
as if my voice is too loud,
too much,
too wrong.

I hate the person I’ve become—
someone who hides behind walls
and pretends to be okay,
someone who pushes people away
because it’s easier than explaining
the mess inside.

But there’s this quiet voice,
buried under all the hate,
saying, maybe you’re not as broken as you think.
Maybe you’re just scared,
just tired of trying to be perfect
in a world that doesn’t know
how to accept what’s real.

I hate myself,
but I also know that I don’t want to stay here.
I don’t want to stay lost in this mirror,
fighting a reflection that isn’t truly me.
Maybe, someday,
I’ll learn to look at myself
without the weight of regret
or the heaviness of self-doubt.
Maybe, someday,
I’ll see the person who is worth loving.