Elsie's Dilemma

Elsie fought hard to keep the tears from falling. She had learned that crying didn’t do anything, so why do it??

She was almost sixty, had three adult children and five wonderful grandchildren. She had so many blessings to be thankful for and she was.

Thinking back, she had lived a good life. She didn’t remember much of her childhood but most of what she did remember were good memories. True, like everyone, there were some that would haunt her until she took her last breath.

Though she had made many wrong choices she had worked through and accepted that she made them. Over time the guilt had become regret and that was easier to live with. Her choices no longer ate at her heart, they simply existed.

Why life was hitting her hard today she was unsure. It’s not like she had never wondered where her next meal was going to come from or if she’d end up losing a place to live. This had been an ongoing theme since she got married at nineteen. So why today??

Elsie had been working on finding inner peace for about a week. The music and chanting were helping and yet old habits died hard. She would be feeling calm and then suddenly her brain would betray her and feeding her negativity.

“Why are you waiting anxiously for a call or a text?? You should just learn to let it go.”

The worst one was when her brain told her that her feelings were dumb and that she should be stronger and just not care. What would be would be. Just fucking accept it!!

Elsie knew that she would eventually get used to the new way of life. Things would work out and her and her daughter wouldn’t starve. As for getting money it would happen like it always did. She just had to wait and be patient.

All would be okay.