Trouble in Paradise

Arc Angel Michael: God, I've got an emergency situation on Earth that requires your immediate attention!

God : Oh Me! It's Sunday, Michael. I've told you not to interrupt my Sundays. What has Putin done now??

Arc Angel Michael: No, Lord. This affects the whole globe!

God: I haven't released a new plague have I? My next one is only scheduled for next year I'm sure.

Arc Angel Michael: It's worse than that I'm afraid. The world is burning. Literally the whole Earth is on fire!

God: Those idiots! How many scientists and liberals have I given them - and they've ignored them all! My beautiful Earth, destroyed by my most beloved of the apes. The fools. Remind me next time to make my chosen creatures a touch less hedonistic.

Arc Angel Michael: Lord. It's not the humans this time. That would be Gabriel's department anyway. No, this is the work of an angel!

God: I think they prefer to be called demons actually, Michael.

Arc Angel Michael: No Father, it's one of ours who did it. He's not happy with the humans Lord. He's set the Earth on fire as... Well as a sort of protest I suppose.

God: ...... Which of you flying POSTMEN had the AUDACITY to do this???

Arc Angel Michael: It was Cupid, Lord. He's unhappy because his job has been automated by something called Tinder.