My Name is Joan

Melanie Palmer nervously stood in the office of her sister in law Joan Garland whose plump little frame lolled in a black leather swivel chair. Joan's stoic expression not giving anything away as she rubs her double chin in thought and then adjusts her gold rimmed glasses "Explain it to me one more time!"

Melanie sighs in anguish, this was the third time to repeat but has no choice "So on leaving the restaurant for nans birthday, I accidentally put my hand in your handbag and not thinking I put your purse into my handbag".

Joan gives a sarcastic grunt as she removes a hair from the left lapel of her black suit jacket. She claps her hands together and rests them on her corpulent tummy "Continue!"
Melanie fought the urge to put her in a head lock "I went home and thought oh there is a sale on in Macys and I accidentally used your card, then the ne-"
Joan makes a stop motion with her hand, her tone sarcastic "The card states my name clearly"
Melanie laughs nervously "I forgot I wasn't Joan"
Joan extends out her hands her tone animated "so you forgot you weren't Joan when you booked that nice holiday and appliances, maxing out my card!"

Melanie looks around nervously "Yeah I didn't realise until the police called".

Joan crunches up her face, her plump cheeks burning with anger. "Turnaround and tell me how many people you see working on the floor". Confused Melanie glanced "eh fifty"

Joan grunts in disgust "two hundred and they all work for me in my business!"
Melanie looks away disinterested.

Joan adjusts her glasses again. "You may be taller, stronger and prettier than me but you certainly aren't smarter so don't take me as a fool".