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Rated: 18+ · Essay · Experience · #2326877
And now I talk about 25 of the least attractive Pokémon in my world.
Backup Links: DeviantArt  Open in new Window.Google  Open in new Window.MediaFire  Open in new Window.MEGA  Open in new Window.

I do have a more foot-focused post I’m releasing next week, but I wanted one more with this series to complement another post.

Pokémon are neat, but some of them are ugly AF. That’s what today’s post is about, a contrast to my Top 20 Most Breedable Pokémon list  Open in new Window..

It should be established upfront that if you think I’m taking this too seriously, it’s probably you who’s angry or distressed, not me. This list is going to have some exaggeration, naturally, even if my opinions are true. I’m all happy writing this. Furthermore, if you’re sensitive about fictional monsters being shamed, the exit is one click away.

For those of you who have a backbone, let us proceed.

Before we begin, let’s go over some honourable mentions.

Zigzagoon doesn’t do anything for me. I’m not a fan of the spike patterns here, even if it’s the point of the appearance. It’s one of my least favourite “region rodents” of the series. Though I’ve had to use it more in my second Emerald playthrough and my current XY playthrough, so I’ve kind of grown used to its ugliness. At least the Galarian version upgrades it.

Get fucked, Litleo. I hate this dumbass’ stupid circular face, I can’t stand its derpy sounds, it looks pathetic… I’d grill it some more, but we have bigger fish to fry.

The eighth generation of Pokémon has really underwhelming starters on the whole, and Grookey’s line is the worst of them. I would say Rillaboom is my least favourite, though. I’m not someone who goes crazy just because a Pokémon looks humanoid, but I don’t think it came out well in this design.

No. 25 – Ampharos
This thing is stupid.

Mareep was a nice sheep. Then Flaaffy came along, and while it got rid of some of its wool, it was very recognisable as a sheep. A beautiful ovine creature who I probably shouldn’t be left alone with.

Ampharos? I don’t know what the fuck happened. It looks like somebody was told to draw a sheep, but they never actually saw one, so they ended up drawing this pencil-necked kangaroo. I think it’s meant to have influence from dragons, as the Japanese name uses “ryû” for both electricity and dragon. But even if that’s the intention, how does this jackass look like a dragon? Unless it went to the Dragonite school of looking dopey as hell.

This one was actually designed in 1997. It shows perfectly that even if ‘90s Pokémon had some amazing designs, it could have abysmal ones too.

Ampharos’ saving grace is that it isn’t unbearable to look at like some others.

No. 24 – Tangrowth
Tangela was so sweet. It was such an adorable bush monster.

Then it had to evolve.

I despise Tangrowth’s look. Tangela had this mysterious element to it, and Tangrowth removed the concept entirely. All they did was take Tangela, smooth this motherfucker out, make it bigger and called it an evolution. Now I can’t imagine what Tangela looks like underneath its vines. I know it’s just a black dummy thanks to this beast.

I don’t like how lazy it is on the whole. Tangela’s vines were all properly depicted, but Tangrowth is missing an insane amount. The idea was the show how dense it is, but this does not come across in either 2D or 3D.

It looks like a shitty Happy Meal toy.

No. 23 – Magmortar
I’m not gonna act like Magmar is the symbol of beauty, but it’s way better than what we got here.

Magmortar bothers me for similar reasons to Tangrowth, in terms of going against the original concept. Magmar is a duck monster. Yeah, it’s one of the weirdest creatures in the Kanto lineup, but its design is organic.

What is with these arm cannons on Magmortar? Seriously, is it a robot?

Then again, it probably needed another practical way because its mouth is now stupid. Why did they turn the beak into a pair of lips? The confused fuck looks like Semi-Perfect Cell from Dragon Ball.

Plus, while Magmar already had the issue of having a fully rounded body, it’s so much more obvious on Magmortar. We’ve got a walking Easter egg here, and making matters worse is the lacklustre fire effect. It looks bad in the games and the cartoon. Magmar looks like it’s on fire, whereas Magmortar looks like it’s got two bits of rubbery skin on its shoulders.

This is a design where I can see how others think it’s cool. It’s not working for me, simple as that.

But you know what? Generation IV is gonna get better from here. These two evolutions were just flukes. Every little thing is gonna be alright.

No. 22 – Sunkern
Allow me to go off-topic for a bit. What is the point of Baby Pokémon?

Other than to look cutesy for the Japanese market, what did they contribute to any of these games? They only got added in bulk in two generations, and there are so many regular Pokémon that look like they should be babies, but they’re not.

Sunkern is one of them. Especially since it came out in Johto, I constantly think it’s a Baby Pokémon. No, it’s not. Sunkern is a regular Pokémon that just happens to look very young.

Neither Sunkern nor Sunflora is a winner, but between the two, I’d say Sunkern is worse. It looks far creepier than it does cute, kind of like Igglybuff.

No. 21 – Diggersby
I’m surprised that so many people like this thing.

Genuinely, I was met with some surprise when I ranked it as one of my least favourite Pokémon in the Kalos region. Diggersby? Is that the big hill we’re dying on now?

Like Sunkern before it, it’s creepy. Although with Sunkern, that is clearly an accident. With Diggersby, it’s like the designer wanted it to look as predatory as possibly. Nothing about this design screams friendly. It looks like it’s gonna snatch your kids and bring them to its underground lair to pleasure them with its grabby ears.

“Come let uncle Diggersby give ya a rubbin’, babe…”

It’s a shame that a cute creature like Bunnelby has to evolve into this monstrosity.

No. 20 – Gallade
Fuck Gallade, honestly.

First of all, it’s pointless. Gardevoir was already strong in the metagame of Generation III. What was the point of adding a fourth member to the Ralts family and making it male-only? I have no proof, but it feels like a desperate solution to please fans who couldn’t handle the thought of their beloved Gardevoir wife being a man. That is the only explanation I can think of for why Gallade exists.

I mean, I’d let a male Gardevoir give me a footjob. Just accept the bi tendencies.

Even on the large chance that it isn’t true, I have other qualms with this dumbass.

Ralts, Kirlia and Gardevoir all have a certain elegance in their designs. Gallade? It’s as janky as you can get. That fin on its head, those arms, those awkward feet—none of it is working. And I know Ralts has those weird feet too, but they look worse on Gallade due to it having a more humanoid body.

The less said about the crotch, the better. Seriously, it looks like Gallade swallowed Mr Krabs’ morning pill and got it stuck in its crotch forever. The Mega form, by the way, doesn’t improve Gallade in the slightest. If anything, it makes it weirder by stripping it further.

While there are uglier Pokémon, Gallade is one of my least favourites of all time.

No. 19 – Ambipom
Remember all that gushing I did about Aipom? Yeah, you can replace all of that for Ambipom.

It makes sense why they wanted Aipom to evolve. While cute, it was a very underwhelming Pokémon, even for single-player events. But Ambipom isn’t much better; it only has one niche usage in Generation VII. And the design of this creature is a complete mess.

I’d say it’s the creepiest on the list so far, which is shocking considering how it’s not too different from Aipom. Every tiny tweak they made just made it worse.

The hands on the tails don’t look like hands. They look like swollen udders. Aipom’s eyes look somehow more uncanny when they’re vertically elongated. And they gave it a nose! Why is the nose purple!? Why does it have fur for its nose!?

Shit, maybe that’s why Dawn gave it up. Girl didn’t want to keep having nightmares.

I’m not sure how exactly I would improve Ambipom. Honestly, making Aipom a little bigger and giving it a second tail would be good enough. Sometimes creatures don’t need drastic visual changes. Ask Dudunsparce.

No. 18 – Meowth (Galarian)
I don’t have much to say about Galarian Meowth. I guess my first point is that I find it obnoxious how Meowth got two regional forms in the span of two games. We get it, Game Freak; Pikachu, Charizard and Meowth must get all the love.

But whereas I have no problems with Alolan Mewoth, Galarian Meowth is just not appealing to look at. I find it forgettably repugnant. I don’t even understand why it’s connected to Meowth other than for Kanto pandering, as it has nothing in common with either version of this cat.

No. 17 – Conkeldurr
I didn’t include it in my positive list, but I really like Timburr. It’s one of those creatures who looks forgettable at a glance but has an adorable design. Definitely stands out more in drawn animation compared to its blurry BW sprites.

Too bad this cute nature got lost in the evolution. I get why they went the masculine route for this line, as it’s a clone of the Machop family. But I feel like the Machop line has more solid designs, whereas Timburr’s evolutions… Sorry, I’m not feeling them.

Conkeldurr just looks like a clown bum, a description I usually save for Oshawott, but it really applies here. I don’t like the pink vein-like things on its body especially. I know Timburr also has them, but it looks a little less awkward on that one.

Not much to add with this one, other than it’s certainly a Generation V design. Very mixed generation on the Pokédex, even with the games being great.

No. 16 – Weepinbell
Originally I had put Victreebel here. But that was only because I forget Weepinbell existed.

Yeah… Oof… I actually had a lot of praise for Victreebel, as while I deem it ugly, I do like it as a Pokémon. I feel like its ugliness is intentional. But Weepinbell looks more or less like a mistake.

The Pokémon itself is whatever. It works as a middle form for Bellsprout, especially due to the fact that it is a pitcher plant. It is appropriately horrifying, seeing as it hangs on trees waiting to spew poison onto people. But still, ew… I don’t know what I hate most about its design. The eyes, the mouth, the fact that it is a severed head that can move on its own…

Shit, I’m typing this journal in Word, and even the automatic text mistook it for a fish. Even computers look at this thing and go, “The fuck even are you?”

Keep being weird, Weepinbell, but you are one ugly motherfucker.

No. 15 – Exploud
I really have little to say about Exploud. Whismur’s line isn’t great in general aside from the little one, but Exploud’s design is… I guess too cluttered. I know, that’s a word more befitting of that CLOWN, but that’s how I feel.

No. 14 – Jynx
Oh boy… This thing…

Let’s get the juicy part out the way first. There is still discussion on whether Jynx’s original design is racist or simple misinterpretation. Game Freak has never given an answer to this question. As someone of mocha descent, I’ll give you my view.

I think Jynx’s original design is problematic and very likely racist. But it’s hard to know if it was intentionally meant to look that way or if it was ignorance. It’s incredibly difficult because Japanese culture, even in 2024, tends to be unbelievably ignorant on any aspect of cultures with darker people.

With someone like Mr Popo from Dragon Ball, it’s easy for me to say that’s a very offensive portrayal on Toriyama’s part. He may not be human Black, but he is designed like a racist caricature, and more damningly, he talks like a very dim-witted person in Japanese. Combine that with him being in a subservient role, he carries too many racist undertones for comfort, even being strong.

Jynx has no proper voice like Popo, but there is an episode in the show where it’s depicted as Santa’s helper, which is eerily similar to the Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) tradition in the Netherlands. In the Dutch culture, Santa’s subordinate is this helper character, whose skin is as dark as coal.

That alone would make me think it was intentional, but it was also cartoon writers who made that decision, not the artists. I’m still going to call Jynx was a racist design, be it intentional or ignorant. Knowing Game Freak, it could be pure ignorance. It only came to bite Pokémon when GF learnt it was coming to North America. Had it been a Japanese-only series, Jynx might’ve still looked like a racist caricature to this day.

Now, while this was a blunder, I don’t think it’s problematic nowadays. Really, not since 2002, when they changed Jynx’s colour to purple across the board. You can even argue they learnt their mistake with Smoochum in 1999. It is kind of a shame that they’re now scared to touch Jynx, such as not giving it an evolution with its friends, Magmar and Electrobuzz. But it’s what it is. As a regular Pokémon, Jynx is fine now.

But now that we’re past the history lesson, Jynx is one ugly-ass bitch.

Even with the purple skin, I don’t like any element of Jynx’s design. People complain about Pokémon looking more like humans as the generations go on, but I think they must be forgetting how Jynx is so close to a human in design. A very short, neckless human, but a human nonetheless. They even give it human feet in the show. It’s so awkward, especially with the dress and those implied tits.

Jynx’s design doesn’t flow well either, in my opinion. The dress contrasts too hard with the arm gauntlets.

I can’t even say I’m a fan of the lips, even as someone who likes kissing. Very odd how despite liking that element, characters with pronounced lips just have a history of looking hideous (see Flurrie from Paper Mario).

So yeah, even if Jynx hadn’t had the controversy, I would still call it horrible.

No. 13 – Crocalor
All the starters in SV are lame in my opinion. There is not one that I can give a super positive outlook one. Of them all, I think Crocalor is the worst.

But I can’t really go into detail on why. It’s just the in-between stage of its two other members, and yeah, it looks like a bad fusion of them.

No. 12 – Roserade
Hey, look, another retroactive Generation IV evolution.

I hate these evolutions. So few of them feel like they properly connect to the previous member(s) of their line, and all of them are so simplified. It’s why I say that I believe the true art shift in Pokémon happened with Generation IV. Generation III was an in-between period, but Generation IV feels far simpler. It’s not a bad style across the board, but it does not work when they’re evolving creatures from the previous three generations.

Roserade is almost an insult to Roselia. Let’s begin with the face.

Take off the fucking mask! What is with that dumb accessory? It doesn’t look clean; it looks like a cheap piece of plastic hanging off this plant’s face. I get they wanted to give this thing a mysterious vibe, but they could’ve put in more effort instead of having it wear this stiff-ass vegetable skin.

Speaking of more effort, check out those Fisher Price flowers on its hands. Roselia has these excellently drawn roses, and meanwhile, they gave up with Roserade. If they didn’t feel like drawing six unique roses, maybe they should’ve kept it to two.

I’m not a fan of that pussy slit in the middle of its body, either. Man, it feels like I’m looking at a green jackass the entire time.

And while it has nothing to do with design, Roselia is better animated in the games. Roselia’s always dancing, meanwhile Roserade is stiff like it has a stick up its ass. Even the games don’t think it deserves love.

I really want to like this thing. I love Roselia. But every single time I give Roserade a chance, I’m reminded of just how godawful its design is. Doesn’t matter who draws it.

Again, we’ve got more designs to get through, but like Ambipom, Roserade is one of my least favourites. It really downgrades this line, and frankly, I feel Roselia was brought down on both sides. I don’t hate Budew, but it is so unnecessary.

The only relative positive I can think of for Roserade is that it’s actually useful, unlike Ambipom.

No. 11 – Raticate (Alolan)
I’m not a fan of either version of Raticate, but the Alolan version is considerably less attractive. Not much more to say about it.

No. 10 – Granbull
Same thing here. Not much to say, as I don’t even like the pre-evolution. I think Houndoom was a better dog representation for Johto.

No. 9 – Seismitoad
I really love Tympole, so it broke my heart in BW to find out that both of its evolutions turn it into an ugly beast. Now, like Victreebel, I do thing Seismitoad’s design is intentionally meant to look gross. So it doesn’t frustrate me like it does Roserade or Tangrowth.

That said, it’s still one unattractive son of a bitch. I think it really comes down to the “lumps” on its body. If those were removed, it’d probably look a little nicer. Then again, maybe it’d look too simple.

That’s the thing: I’m no expert in character design. I’m sure a lot of things are done for a reason. I just know what I like and what I don’t like.

No. 8 – Watchog
I would say I’ve grown a little fond of Patrat. It can still look bizarre, but I think it’s cute in a number of a drawings.

I can’t say the same for Watchog, unfortunately. This thing sucks. It already is on my bad side for being one of the most annoying creatures to fight in Unova. Seriously, like Zubat, fuck any creature whose first move involves confusing the player. It’s not hard; it just wastes time.

Past that, I mean, look at it. I feel like if it kept Patrat’s colour scheme, it wouldn’t be as terrible. But the oversaturated maroon and yellow keep me far away from liking this thing.

Interestingly, I was told by resident TheJesterMime that Watchog ranked as being the ugliest Pokémon by fans in general. I’m not sure what his sources were, but while I think there are worse creatures, I can see this easily being in the Bottom Five.

No. 7 – Stunky
Fuck me, we’re at Stunky, the one with a baboon’s ass for a face. Or two swollen nutsacks.

This is a particularly shitty Generation IV design. All the others mentioned above ranked worse with me because they’re part of established families. Stunky was new for this era, and it still looks so out-of-place. The way it is drawn, it almost feels like it was plucked from a different series. Who else feels this way?

I believe it is meant to be a counterpart to the Glameow line, but Glameow has so much more style than this. This is just disgusting.

I was debating on whether to place it or Skuntank, as both of them are hideous. But Skunank has a slightly better face. Still, this is one of the worst Pokémon lines of all time from a visual perspective. I know I shouldn’t have expected much from a skunk, but goddamn!

No. 6 – Tinkatink
One, again, what the fuck was the point of Baby Pokémon when regular Pokémon so often look like babies? This looks even more infantile than Mime Jr.

Two, ew… Just ew… Tinkatink is one of the nastiest Pokémon I have ever seen in my life. With most the other designs on this list, I can see the appeal for some other people. Some don’t care about Roserade’s mask. Some can actually see Ampharos as an adorable sheep. But if you tell me you unironically like Tinkatink, I am concerned.

There is nothing appealing in this piece of shit’s design. That lump on its head is sickening. At least this is a line that improves on each evolution, but it starts from the deep bottom.

No. 5 – Lopunny
Buneary was so cute… Then it evolved. What generation is Buneary in again?

Oh, that explains it.

Lopunny is total ass, man. My problem is straightforward: this thing is one of the most disturbing Pokémon I’ve seen. It doesn’t look like a normal bunny to me. It looks like a human wearing a bunny corpse and trying to masquerade as one.

Yeah, I guess I have to talk about the sexual aspect too. I try to ignore how fans interpret creatures when judging their designs, but it’s impossible in Lopunny’s case because this is the creature’s official look. And they really hammered it home with its Mega design. Eh… I don’t like it.

I get that being stylised in a sexual manner is less controversial in Japan, and honestly, I think that should be the case here as well. But when you consider Pokémon isn’t a series aimed at older kids, but rather younger ones, Lopunny is fucking weird. It’s like having a sexy beach episode when you’re trying to watch Dora.

I’m not offended by the sexualisation, but it also doesn’t bring this design up from being as corpse-like as it is.

I will give Lopunny one thing: it can still be a male. That is cool.

No. 4 – Feebas
Just like Victreebel and Seismitoad, it’s pretty clear to me that Feebas is intentionally ugly. It’s to contrast it with Milotic, its evolution.

The only thing I can add is that I think it’s lazy to pull this trope again so soon. The surprise worked with Magikarp into Gyarados because it was the first. For Game Freak to try and do this again within just six years is lame.

No. 3 – Impidimp
This is supposed to be Hatenna’s counterpart, so I’m not surprised they designed it to look pretty. A wee bit annoying there. Girl creature gets to be pretty, the boy one has to look like shit. But whatever.

I didn’t like this thing when playing SwSh, and looking at it later still doesn’t improve my opinion on it. I don’t care that it looks silly, but it just looks so lame.

I think Morgrem is an improvement and the best of this family.

No. 2 – Binacle
“Radda, radda, radda, radda!”

So Schnitzel over here is terrible. It’s not even a matter of me being grossed out because it’s based on barnacles. There is just so little to this design that I can like. I guess it’s a little interesting how these two aren’t bound together, instead being their own separate individuals that can be plucked out of the rock.

But still, I just feel disgusted look at this one. And more than that, even a bit bored. It’s not interesting. I’m not a huge fan of the evolution either, but I think that one uses this gimmick in a much more creative manner.

It makes you wonder how many first forms are intentionally gimped in order to make the next forms look more impressive.

No. 1 – Toxel
Toxel is the only Baby Pokémon to be introduced after Generation IV. This thing. I will reiterate for the last time that this classification makes no goddamned sense. And of all the things they could dedicate to being a Baby Pokémon, they made it this purple abortion of a creature.

I mean, with other Baby Pokémon, they tended to still look normal. With this one, they really dove into the baby element, having it throw tantrums and crying. It might be a more accurate portrayal, but it does not make it endearing.

Moreover, just like real human babies, this thing is so unbelievably ugly. I don’t know where to even begin. Whether it be the tongue that always sticks out, those eyes that always look droopy or that bottom half meant to resemble a diaper… None of it is working for me.

Some of you might be confused because I’m not being as harsh as I have with some others. But that’s because on top of being unsightly, I simply don’t care for this. The evolution is okay, but this isn’t a family I was hyped to see return in SV.

Toxel is hands-down the ugliest Pokémon in my opinion.

Conclusion
Here is how each generation got represented:
Gen I: 2
Gen II: 3
Gen III: 2
Gen IV: 7
Gen V: 3
Gen VI: 2
Gen VII: 1
Gen VIII: 3
Gen IX: 2

Despite Sinnoh itself being a nice region, so many of the creatures it brought to the table are complete shit. And you’ll notice that of these seven I listed, five of them are evolutions tacked onto earlier creatures.

My guess is that with the art direction of Generation IV being so different from the first three generations, this is what causes the evolutions to feel so unnatural. There are good ones, like Mismagius, but the majority are terrible. I feel like if Roserade or Tangrowth had been designed in Generation III, they would have looked much better.

Or if they had been standalone designs, I wouldn’t dislike them as much.

The new Pokémon art style isn’t bad, but when they try to make modern evolutions to the oldest creatures, it fails more than it works. And this is why I like the addition of regional forms in concept, as having a line dedicated to a new spin-off design works better. Of course, you have dumb cases like Pikachu evolving into Alolan Raichu rather than there existing an Alolan Pikachu, but it wouldn’t be Game Freak without half-assing.

It’s impossible to have a roster of over 1,000 Pokémon and have every single one be a winner. These 25 aren’t appealing to me, but that doesn’t mean I think most Pokémon have garbage designs. Generally speaking, they’re decent. And hey, at least for most these families, they have one member who is amazing to look at. Isn’t that right, Kirlia?

Do you share my disgust for any of these creatures? Do you want me dead? How are you feeling?
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