TGGW(The Great Ginger War) Side stories.

==> Homosexual

Mother sighed, drinking her generic liquid as brisk wind flew by. A newspaper shot through the window (why was it open again?) and mother picked it up in her fingers. She read the title.

"Navigating a homosexual child?!?! IT SEEMS THEY ARE THE NEW TREND?!?!?! I GUESS I HAVE TO GET OVER MY FEAR OF HOMOSEXUALS!?!?!" Mother gets apprehensive. The plot thickens.

Charles shuffles in his chair, not because he was afraid of his mother learning of his homosexuality, but because he hadn't worked up the courage to say his 3-page "I'm gay" speech and didn't have the flashcards presently.

A few hours pass. Mother returns to the kitchen where Charles, James, Unnamed Female Child, Zucorpes and Sprinkles the Cat are.

"Which of you are prepared to be my homosexual child!" she stammers but loud in volume.

Charles becomes frightened, the sunlight wasn't shining at a 90-degree angle! She mustn't know yet.

"Erm, none of us are homosexuals Mother," Charles lies.

"Well, I guess one of you is now. Don't worry Charles. Due to you being straight as a ruler, you will not be designated as my homosexual child. Unnamed Female Child, as you are the only option, will you be my homosexual child?"

Unnamed Five-Year-Old Child eye rolls in sass. "Mother I am already canonically/implied to be asexual."

"Oh, I forgot that piece of information. I guess Sprinkles the Cat is gay now. I CAN'T BE THE ONLY MOTHER WITHOUT A HOMOSEXUAL CHILD. I NEED TO GO TO PRIDE PARADES AND LISTEN TO CHAPPELL ROAN IN PEACE."

Sprinkles the Cat meows in decline.

"Mother.... I am a homosexual," James says deceiving her deceivingly.

"Oh James, I forgot you exist due to you being written out most of the time. Of course you're a homosexual, you're British; causing you to talk strangely and have a largely sized obsession with Jack Frost!" Mother replied.

Charles growls gayly at his twin brother, who smirks evilly in response. HE KNOWS. Charles gasps. James was.... devious?!?!? Everyone thought Sprinkles the Cat was the only devious one.

Mother sends the children back to their quarters. Charles followed James back to the mines because he stole his spotlight by pretending to be gay. Charles could not stand for this, causing him to sit in the mines with James.

"I see you've decided to sit," James spoke, "but, I know your secrets, this is because you decided to share them in the middle of the dining room, and also I have really good hearing. You are a homosexual and Unnamed Five-Year-Old Child is a 42-year-old witch stuck in a five-year-old's body. But I always knew you were a gay. I heard you attempting to hit Renee Rapp's high notes while watching But I'm a Cheerleader on an illegal website."

"Well James, I did in fact hit the Snow Angel high note pleasantly and I bet you can't because your voice is somehow affected from being in the mines. I hope you trip and bruise your knee as well as your ego later on," Charles replied.

Charles felt angst toward James so he went to Unnamed Five-Year-Old Child for moral support because she had a strong hatred toward James for no apparent reason.

"What is it, Charles?" Unnamed Five-Year-old Female child asked, looking up at him from her undisclosed location.

Charles cleared his throat.

"James is....devious." He whispered, glancing around nervously.

Unnamed 5-Year-old female child suddenly had a very silly and devious expression on her face. "Ho ho ho," she chortled. "Yes, I am planning deviously at this present moment."

Charles nodded, rubbing his hands together deviously. "Very good, yes." He says wisely. "We shall reveal his true nature."

And so they did just that, but made sure to plan off screen.

Charles walked into the room Mother was in and gasped very loudly and dramatically. This startled Mother, her war times reminding her of the constant gasping.

Unnamed 5-Year-Old Female Child walked in soon after, smirking evilly before she dramatically tripped and pretended to bruise her ego.

Mother gasped, "Child, are you okay? You tripped and bruised your ego, and Charles...gasped!"

Unnamed 5 year old female child and Charles shared a devious eye contact moment, before both sighing very loudly.

"You see," Charles began wisely, "there is...." He shared a nervous glance with Unnamed 5 year old child, who got the message and began to speak.

"There is an imposter among us!" She exclaimed loudly, "it's legit messing up our groove!"

Mother gasped again, even more loud. Unnamed 5 Year Old Female Child stifled the need to turn this into a gasping competition, the war taught her not to meddle in such gasping witchcraft...just other types.

"Among us...." Mother whispered, "..the groove!!" She shook her head violently, but didn't make any neck music, to the relief of everyone. "No, this will not do!!" Mother yells.

Unnamed 5 Year Old Female Child and Charles shared a knowing look before nodding and agreeing with mother.

They all head to the study to work on the among us groove lying gasp defense plan.

"What is the plan of action?" Charles said seriously, wearing a rather dapper hat.

Mother looked at the large painting of four squares and a triangle. She could never figure out what it meant, but she looked at it as if it held the answers of every thing that had an answer ever.

Unnamed 5 Year Old Female Child scratched her chin, despite not having a beard. She suddenly had a devious look on her skull skin, she smirked. "Hm...maybe...James, the 'homosexual' will know..."

Mothers eyes lit up, "thank you, abstract square triangle painting..." she whispered, before addressing her two spawns. "Children, we will interrogate my new favouri- James."

Charles and unnamed 5 year old female child secretly share a 'fist bump.'

James is called down to the study, where a large light is shined in his face. He writhed in agony, before it is turned away by mother, after she realised he has sensitive eyes from always being underground in the mines.

"James.....do you know...there is a..." Mother wept a little bit. "Imposter among us...messing up grooves?"

James looked very suspicious, he gulped. "That's wild, chap." He stammered out, sweating.

"You look...sweaty James. Why are you n-n-nervous?" Mother asked with narrowed eyes, slowly becoming suspicious of the suspicious looking man. "Do you have any....information?

Unnamed 5-Year-Old Female Child took this tense moment to steal the floor. "Well Mother....according to my calculations...James lied about his...homosexuality."

Mother gasped, looking scandalised. "This can't be! Charles, you and James are twins, I think. Use your magical straight person judging to decree!!"

Charles wept at being called straight, but agreed. "Hm....it appears...I agree with Unnamed 5 Year Old Female Child's verdict!! He has the stench of...LIES!!"

James squirmed, the light being shown upon him again. "Tell the truth, child...or else your darkness accustomed sinful eyes will be blinded with gog!!!!" Mother exclaimed.

Charles and Unnamed 5 year old female child nervously inched out of the room as they expected her to rampage.

"Fine!" James relented, "I'm...not gay," he whispered. Mother gasped, eyes watering. "I'm..." James continued. "Actually just questioning...!"

Mother fled to the river, and began to weep. James also fled, this time to go to the mines and do whatever he does. Mining, being British, LYING ABOUT HIS SEXUALITY, Jack Frost stanning.

Unnamed 5 Year Old Female Child and Charles high five, suddenly, Charles notices that the sun is at a 90 degree angle...it's perfect!!! He ran away elegantly, ignoring Unnamed 5 Year Old Female child's confused glance.

Charles looked around everywhere, his 3 page coming out speech...it's time! He barged into his own room, and gasped at the sight...Zucorpse?

"Zucorpse! What are you eating?!" Charles asked, scandalous, wondering why Zucorpse is in his room.

Zucorpse swallowed the paper and scurried into the vents..it was at that moment Charles realised...that was his coming out speech!!

Charles fell to his knees. "nooooooooooooooo"

Sadness filled him as he cried homosexually.

==> Halloween Special

The Family giggled and frolicked in the fields they illegally entered, all dressed up in their scary costumes as it was spooky day. Originally, they weren't going to go, but an anonymous witch has appeared to curse the entire family, turning them all into their worst fears.

Mother looked at her family, disgusted by how they looked because she felt judgy today, and for some reason loses her attraction to men and gains an attraction for dark magic. Mother was also a ginger, but it was okay because she was also lesbian now.

Unnamed 5-year-old Female Child felt true fear for the first time as she realised, she had social cues and the instinctual urge to conform, and on top of that, the worse thing to ever happen to Unnamed 5-Year-Old Female child in all her 68 years of life, she had casual interests.

Charles gasped as he tried to think about men and only found women, and gasped once more when his Spotify wrapped was ruined by some random man, he maybe would've found attractive before today, singing terrible rap songs. he gasped trice as he felt the comforting weight of his sin leave him.

James wept as he was forced to become Elsa, that homewrecker!!! He fled into the depths of the Field they all are trespassing on and starting singing opera.

Zucorpse felt enlightened in ways he didn't know Ze could be, as Ze was now Jesus Christ. Unfortunately for Zem, Zucorpse was now also Jeffree star. Ze seems to have inherited Zes fears from Satan and Trisha Paytas.

Sprinkles the Cat stared somberly into the distance, but as a bald 40-year-old man. This was truly the worst fate to come.

This is awful, they all thought collectively.

"This is awful." Sprinkles the 40-year-old bald man spoke, now having the proper vocal chords to do so.

Charles nodded, "Yes, Sprinkles the 40-year-old bald man, you are correct." he then decided to flee just like James did because we need to remind the audience that they're actually twins.

Much to the horror of Unnamed 5-year-old Female Child and Mother, Unnamed 5-year-old Female Child found her walking casually up to Mother and striking conversation about the weather. Mother found herself, though typically able to speak of the state of the heavens with a curated ease, unable to contribute to this little conversation because of the sheer disgust she held for the thought of Unnamed 5-year-old Female Child being able to make small talk.

"Wow, the sun sure is hot today!!" Unnamed 5-year-old Female Child says, enthusiastically.

Mother faints.

Zucorpse stares at the sun, no longer burnt by its harsh gaze. "It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God. I am the living barbie doll."

Sprinkles the 40-Year-old bald man sighed, "I hate when Zucorpse is an amalgamation of Jesus and Jeffree star instead of the weird rotting Zucchini we love to hate."

In the distance, a Fight Song and Let it Go remix was sung, courtesy to James and Charles.

Mother rose at this, and nodded. "So true, Sprinkles the 40-Year-Old Bald man, So true."

Then the episode spontaneously ended!! Like in one of those cartoon shows where the screen goes black except for a cut out circle of the characters face looking into the camera (mothers face) before it all becomes the everlasting abyss!



anyways, heres the costumes and reasoning.

Mother: A witch and a lesbian, referencing a previous episode.

Charles: straight people.

Unnamed 5 year old female child: Neurotypicals

Sprinkles the cat: A 40 year old bald man

James: Elsa, because he is afraid of the elsa x jack frost ships.

Zucorpse: A mix of Jesus and Jeffree star. (Fears of satan and trisha paytas)

==> Harry Potter??

"Ronald!!" Harry called nervously, "I thought you were copper! Not...g-ginger!!!"

Ronald scowled, his ginger hair barking at Harry Potter. Harry gulped audibly. Nothing was scarier than a barking blot of ginger hair.

"Silence, British boy!!" Ronald exclaimed loudly, pointing his gnarled fingers at Harry, who thought they looked disgusting with their dirtied yellow nails and greenish greyish tinge. Ron quickly recognised his expression, as it was one that he had seen multiple times in the past. He quickly became insecure and put his hideous hands away.

"Anyways!" Ron(ald) screeches, "I know you may not see it now, but I will ensure you become a ginger!! Even if Voldemort, a loyal disciple of Ed Sheeran couldn't curse you, I'm actually more evil and also stronger than that no-good no hair having freak!"

Harry shivered, having no hair was almost a greater shame than having ginger hair! Almost. But, lucky for him, Harry was somewhat an intellectual. "Oh, my goodness gracious, Ronald, your m-m-m-m-more eviller that void mort???"

Ron(ald) scoffed at Harry, "Of course, I'm ginger after all! Vancouver Morgan is bald and weak!"

Ron then decided this was the perfect time for a hate speech. "I hate you orphans. The reason the Orphan nation got quickly overcame by Gingers and forgotten by all history except for me, the gingers, and you, the last known surviving orphan, is because orphans SUCK!! And I, Ronald Weasley hate people without parents!!"

Harry was too flabbergasted to come up with a proper reply to the hate speech. In his stupor, he managed to say, "What the 7#%& Ron"

"Don't swear in the language of gods, Harold!!!" Ron instantly shrieked, covering his ears and spasming violently.

Harry raised his hands up placatingly, which calmed Ronald. "My mistake."

Ronald let out a breath of relief, then inhaled, Harry gasped, reaching his hands up to cover his ears...but it was too late. Ron began singing The Ballad of Jane Doe from Ride the Cyclone.

Harry screamed as the normally pretty good song grated his ears with the taint of ginger, he covered them, but the sound waves seemed to literally slip past his fingers like his parents' lives. He scratched at his ears, anything to get that horrendous noise away from him. He must protect his weave!!!

In a blind fit of song induced rage, Harry threw his pocket bible at Ron. The song hitched, and Harold was finally able to open his eyes. Ronald screamed and flung the bible off of him, but the damage was done.

Ronald was bald. a bald ginger, the greatest shame.

"Ron- I didn't mean to-" Harry began, reaching out to Ron.

Ron slaps his hand away, "Heh...I guess I deserved it..."

"Ron nooooo," Harry says, tears filling his green/blue orbs.

Hermione walks in.

"What is goodie my esteemed scholars!" Hermione says, gladly, before noticing the current predicament.

"Oh goodness, Ron, you're ugly as shit!" Hermione notes.

"Arghhh," Ron wines, "you know I am insecure about my looks!"

"You should be. Where is your hair?" Hermione spits Britishly.

"Arghhhhhhhh," Ron wines, again. "Get out of my headdd," he yells, shaking vapidly.

"Ron, listen. It's ok to be insecure of your looks," Harry starts. "I've always been."

"Yes. I understand why you would be insecure. You have a massive scar on your face," Ron says Britishly.

"No, my looks are impeccable," Harry says in solemn, "but imagine being as special as I am and having a ginger and now bald ginger best friend. It is embarrassing."

"Arghhhhh," Ron screeches quite loud.

"Guys, we forgot the plot. Did you forget about the deceased consumers?" Hermione reminds.

Suddenly, a large green cloud of smoke fills the room as a figure of darkness and evil pops out.

"Arghhhh, not Viking Mold. Is he going to diss my looks too?!?!" Rons screeches, in fear.

Voldemort chuckles in an evil manner, bald head gleaming dangerously in the dim lighting. When he turns around, expecting to see a twink, a redhead, and some nerd, he is surprised by a twink, a BALD HIDEOUS UGLY DISGRACEFUL GINGER, and some nerd.

Villainous mort cackles at the sight, "Oh Ronald, you hideous beast! What happens to the hair you were so proud of?"

Ron turns a shade of red bright enough to rival what used to be his hair. "Why you-!"

Vantasia Mirada flicks his hand, as if waving away Ron's words. "While the tables of the turn is quite funny, that's not what I'm here for. I'm actually feeling misogynistic today."

"Goodness gracious me! It's he-who-wasn't-loved-enough-to-get-a-name!" Hermione squeals, grabbing Harry's shoulders, "quick, Harry, let me tell you some plot relevant and life changing information!"

Then she dies. Vote More points his wand towards her head, and it simply explodes. Blood spewing out like a faulty volcanic science experiment, Harry watches in horror.

"Hermione!" He yells, but it's too late. Hermione can't hear Harry because her head is physically detached from his body like Jane Doe (oh the unplanned foreshadowing). It is obvious really. Harry doesn't realise this because he keeps screaming, and because he is stupid.

Ron watches, and growls lowly, like a furry.

Volcanic Man laughs sickeningly, looking upon Harry and Hermione, then turning his attention to Ron. "Wow, now that that's over, look at you! How the high king becomes but a lowly peasant." Vintage Mall runs a hand through his newly owned hair, that spawned between Hermione's death and his rant. "And look at my gorgeous locks! You are truly-"

Video Maden inhales sharply, falling backwards.

Ron stabs him with his wand multiple times, unable to find satisfaction as he repeatedly dives his makeshift weapon into Volva Marriage's torso, only rage. He continues long after Vile Mould's chest has stopped rising, and long after he has stopped gasping and screaming.

Red stains the Ron's hands and coats the ground, a rapidly growing pool from both Hermione and Vinegar Mutant.

Ron finally stops, chest heaving and nostrils burning with iron. He turns to Harry, a crazed look in his eye. Harry has stopped screaming over Hermione's death, only looking upon his other best friend with an emotion close to fear.

Ron wipes blood off his face and flicks it to the floor. Offering a hand to Harry.

After a beat of silence and no movement, harry takes Ron's hand and hauls himself up.

Ron coughs into his hand, looking around awkwardly as if on a bus stop searching for a bus that crashed miles away from where he is standing and simply will not come.

Harry just had the worst day of his life since his parents death.

"Soo... Harry, gang, we gotta go." Ron says, breaking the silence.

Harry stares at Ron.

"....before the ginger and non ginger cops just got here? I just killed a guy, who was on the same side as me, a non ginger is also dead, we are both covered in blood. Plus you're an orphan so you are already a fugitive." Ron explains.

Harry blinks, before nodding, and letting out a shaky breath. "Right." He mutters.

Then they skip into the sunset, hand in hand. Not before Harry gives Draco a little smooch on the cheek because why not. As they skip merrily and not so merrily on their way, they forget to look behind them.

Knife guy was there.

==> To be continued.