2022 Monopoleague Season

1/31/22

Let's Talk About It Over a Couple Monopolies

Monopoly may not at first seem like a game that "sustain[s] close and repeated attention", however, I assure you that it does. On the surface it seems like a long-winded and monotonous board game reserved for unimaginative families who are trying in vain to achieve a sense of cohesion and bonding, but it is more than that. Monopoly is an untapped goldmine of metagaming. Get the boys together, get out the bottle of good bourbon, and if you can roll you can roll.

Our first week of the Spring 2022 monopoly series begins with a group of three, one of the core groups of monopolizers I frequently play with: myself, (names changed for privacy) Jake the Snake, and Em Dog. To set the scene, the three of us are in an attic on the North Side, space heater, bottle of Knob Creek, and 1 (one) game of The Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly.

First things first, establish who is the banker (always me, service industry and a lifetime of Monopoly has given me impeccable quick math skills) and the property manager (ideally you have two separate people doing these tasks). Banker deals $1500 (2 $500's 2 $100's 2 $50's 6 $20's 5 $10's $5's $1's) to each player, then each person rolls one die, highest roll goes first, then the turns go clockwise from there (we tried anti-clockwise this time around and it was just too much of a headache to remember and it affected the pace of the game).

Most of us have played this game before so I won't rattle on about too many minute details each week, rather, I'll dive into an aspect of the game that was perhaps highlighted during that playthrough. And this week, it was total domination with railroads by yours truly. Right off the bat I collected the four Holiday Towns (equivalent to the railroads in the original game), evenly spaced as they are across the board, which result in an opponent relieving themselves of $200 each time they land on one of them. I was able to clear out Jake and Em Dog before they were able to acquire any monopolies, and one in record time. Is this a sign of things to come? We'll see. The 2022 Monopoly season has me at 1-0 and I'm feeling hot.

2/07/22

Variants: Do they Count?

I've played a fair amount of different Monopoly boards before and they are all pretty much the same game with minor rule variations and aesthetic differences, however, this week, I'm going to be flipping the script (already) with a game that turned everything I know about monopoly upside down: Animal Crossing Monopoly.

Yes, you read that right. And it is about as close to an actual video game as I will probably get for this class, I apologize in advance. I loved these games as a kid and when the new Switch came out, you bet I played the heck out of that game for about a month before setting it down indefinitely, leaving my poor island to go to seed.

Now, I need to start off by saying that Animal Crossing Monopoly is not at all like regular Monopoly. And while there is a marginal level of crossover (there's a Go and a jail space and that's about it), the rest is an entirely different game with different rules and goal. The board is only 8x8 spaces rather than the original 10x10, but that is nothing. What I definitely was not prepared for was the astonishing number of tiny cardboard cutout pieces that the game comes with. Rather than a bank with paper money in various denomination, ACM has about seven thousand cutouts for coins and items. There are also no properties. Instead, the players, in this case, myself, my sister Sadie (thanks for the great Xmas gift we finally got around to playing), and our mom, go around the board shaking only one die, trying to pass GO in order to amass seven items from the bank. Once a player collects seven items from the bank, which are purchased by selling off resource tokens (these spaces take the role of property spaces), then the game is over and the net worth of each player is calculated, the one with the most assets and coinage being the winner.

Now the concept makes it seem like a more contained and time-limited version than the original, however, I will say the sheer number (about twelve thousand) of tiny pieces and figures that go into this game make it prohibitively cumbersome and does not necessarily lend itself to replayability as the other traditional varieties allow. Therefore, the old standby of "let's talk about it over a couple monopolies" will probably not be applying to this game.

As far as gameplay goes, it was an interesting and novel experience. It definitely has a "video game feel" to it rather than a traditional board game. Our mom was the winner of the gamer, being the first to collect seven items as well as having more money than us. I will not say too much more on gameplay as I do not consider this game canon. It was a complete surprise, and it took about thirty minutes to set up. This falls into a category of its own and will not be a part of the overall 2022 Monopoleague. It will probably remain on my shelf until my son, Dexter, is around seven years old, and we play it one more time only to have it sit for another seven years.

2/14/22

Monopoly is Absolutely a Date

Playing with members of the official Monopoleague, and playing with people who either, a., have never played before, or b., haven't played since childhood, are two completely different experiences. First of all, the pacing is much different. With initiates there are often breaks, pauses for explanations, confusion about the semi-arbitrary rules (e.g., do you put $500 in the middle?). It is a process. So, this week's session was a(n) (failed) exercise in patience.

Again, for the sake of privacy, names will be redacted or changed. At the monopoly table we have the love interest, we'll call her Queen B, her cousin Dante, and his girlfriend, Carolina, and me. I am the only one who is a frequent player of Monopoly and a good portion of what should have been quality playing time was spent clarifying the rules, as well as attempting to invoke what I believe to be the most important element of Monopoly: the spirit of the game.

Yes, there is more to the game of monopoly than going around the board and amassing a fortune. There is a pace to it, a cadence, there is a spirit. Sure, you can wheel and deal, calculate, plot, but a good and true game of monopoly flows in an almost deterministic manner. If you can roll you can roll. I'm not just here to play with little houses and take all of your money (though, I certainly will), I'm here to have a conversation, to share my time with you.

My victory this round was not a happy one. To my dismay, my rivals had decided to forfeit, citing the length of the game and the time of the evening (it was not even 11:00 p.m.). As I was the player with the most assets and cash at the end of this premature game, I was crowned winner by default. This game was a way to introduce each other to a new relationship, to get to know one another and see if we are a good fit (we certainly weren't eight years ago, but hey, what could go wrong?). I have learned over the years that not everyone shares my enthusiasm for Monopoly, and that when playing with people who are not in the league, it can be expected to have games cut short due to frustration or fatigue. This week was an exercise in patience and acceptance. However, I am not sure if I will be breaking out the monopoly board at the next get together.

2/21/22

Adventures in Dating: A Monopoly (Love?) Story

"We used to meet every Thursday, Thursday, Thursday, in the afternoon... For a couple of beers... and a game of pool..." John Sandman ever so sweetly delivers the narrative of a clandestine romance, only in this case, we aren't gathering at the Wagon Wheel for a game of pool, we're playing Monopoly.

I decided to give Queen B another chance at the game, assuming that last week's aborted disaster was a fluke. We got the Silver Line edition out on the table. I'd like to make a note on the variations of the game. I do not know when they stopped doing this, but in the newer editions and variations of Monopoly, they changed the tax spaces. Income Tax used to be pay 10% of overall wealth (including assets!) or $200. That meant that if you were just starting out or reeling from landing on an opponent's properties, you wouldn't get completely wiped out. Somewhere along the line they simplified it to only pay $200. And the Luxury Tax space went up from $75 dollars to an even $100. This does not affect gameplay too much, but I am worried about a slippery slope effect. One thing I will say about the Silver Line Edition that I do like is that on the back of the property cards it tells you what the mortgage buy back price is. In many editions this is not clearly stated on the card that when you mortgage a property, if you want to buy it back you have to pay half of its value + 10%. That is a deep cut rule that many people either don't know about or simply ignore.

Moving on, while this game can seem like a deterministic charade, there are in fact various different play styles. One such style is what I call, "Playing Like a Terrorist". This is when in order to purchase properties from the bank, you mortgage properties you already own, due to lack of liquid assets. Playing this way does not really feel like it keeps in line with the spirit of the game, however, it is a common tactic in the Monopoleague. I, however, opted not to play that way this week, perhaps out of embarrassment, pride, or maybe chivalry.

It did not matter either way, though. The game had to be cut short. I, once again, won by default, and it was not a happy victory.

"I was feeling so nervous, so nervous, you know I couldn't really quite relax... 'Cause I was never really sure... When her husband was coming back... (sax solo)"

2/28/22

Enough Messing Around: Back to the League

In 2015, there was a period of about a month or two when I would do nothing except go to the beach during the day, then come home and play Monopoly with my friend, Stan Chordy (name changed for privacy). I had always been a player of the game, but this time really helped me understand the "spirit" of monopoly, that it wasn't all about winning and losing, but about the friends you make along the way.

Stan and I are still great friends to this day. I was glad to get back to canon this week after my foray with non-league members the past couple weeks. Even though we play monopoly together quite often, we still like to reiterate the rules we will be playing by each time. For instance, though not a constitutional practice, we put $500 dollars in the middle of the board (aka "the Pot"), which can be collected, along with other taxes and fees, by a player landing on Free Parking. This can be a game changer. Another rule we discuss but never follow, is the practice of having to go around the board and pass go once in order to purchase properties, rather than being able to purchase them right out of the gate. We do not care for this rule, so we ignore it.

With the game underway, we could tell it was going to be a longy. It was one of those games where we each had at least one property of the same property set, impinging on our ability to acquire a Monopoly without wheeling and dealing (trading). That was fine, however, as our main goal was to talk about it over a couple monopolies. Played properly, and with the right people, Monopoly can be more effective than therapy or medication.

Getting restless from the stalemate, we decided to make some moves. Typically, when I play, I have this quirk where I do not like to make trades until every property has been purchased. It can make for longer games, but why are we playing? We made a few conservative trades then began building up our empires. I, having fewer liquid assets, was not able to purchase as many houses on my orange properties, and was quickly swept up by a number of unlucky rolls, repeatedly landing on the reds. Not being able to recoup my losses, I eventually was wiped out, my first loss of the season. With the night still young, we decided to play another round, this time an overwhelming victory on my part, leading to an overall draw with Chordy.

3/07/22

The Band's All Here

We had another Monopoleague sanctioned match this week with Em Dog, Jake the Snake, as well as our good friend and bandmate, Nelson (names once again changed for privacy). In our downtime from music projects, we get together and talk about it over a few monopolies. I have mentioned before about the semi-deterministic way this game can go. This is true for some players; however, this week highlighted the creativity that is possible within this game.

Jake, Nelson, and I were initially playing fairly conservatively. Nelson and I were stuck with only a couple of properties, while Jake and Em Dog were amassing the majority of the board. The four of us entered stalemate territory relatively early on in the game, leaving our only recourse to be wheeling and dealing. Now, typically, in a Monopoly game there is an unspoken rule, or rather, just plain logical pattern to trading. Two players who each have one or more properties, of neighboring values, that another player needs, will swap them in order for each player to have a monopoly. Following the spirit of the game, it is good practice to not make ridiculous trades. That means, when a player is proposing a trade, it is good sportsmanship to offer the higher value property set in exchange for the lower one. There are other factors at play, too, such as location, other properties owned, etc., but generally it is good practice to not try to swindle people. That being said, Em Dog is the Joker of the pack, and is known for making anarchic and nonsensical trades. His sometimes-self-sabotaging moves lead to interesting gameplay. At first, as banker and unofficial gamemaster, I tried to keep the silly billies to a minimum, getting frustrated having to explain why trading Park Place and $400 for three railroads and Water Works, when the outcome would not result in a monopoly or be advantageous for either player, is an obnoxious move. But I realized that the spirit of the game should allow for creativity and self-expression. Otherwise, we're just four guys sitting around a table playing The Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly on a Friday night, going ring-a-round the rosie, rolling dice and plodding along the board in a doomed predetermined fashion, leaving one unlucky player to achieve an empty victory, before putting it all back in the box,

A few obnoxious trades later left Em Dog and Jake ruling the board. Nolan was out, only having a few properties, and eventually, despite having a large amount of liquid assets for a large portion of the game, getting whittled down, without having a substantial income stream to recoup the losses. I was hanging on by the skin of my teeth, having a few lucky moves, avoiding danger zones, but I too, became a casualty to the two empires. It was a heated battle between Em Dog and Jake the Snake. Jake was getting fatigued, I could tell, and was not playing as aggressively as Em Dog, who was on a mission to either win, or make the game a living hell for Jake. He succeeded in both goals after a lengthy and chaotic game and achieving his first victory in this year's Monopoleague.

3/14/22

Introducing New Players

This week, we inducted a new player into the Monopoleague, Em Dog's lovely Minnesotan girlfriend, Leslie. She does not have the same level of Monopoly experience and fanaticism as we do, so it was interesting introducing the rules and gameplay to a civilian. I was initially nervous, and proved to be rightly so, due to Em Dog's erratic play strategies. What followed was pure anarchy that tore a hole right through the spirit of the game. As per usual at Em Dog's house we were playing Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly, however, not in the attic, on a respectable table in the dining/monopoly room.

After a brief explanation we were underway, preferring to just have Leslie learn along the way, from the pan to the fire, so to speak. She played conservatively, not sure what strategy to go with, amassing every property landed on, or biding time and saving money for the big ones. Em Dog and I, as veterans, more often than not snatch everything we land on. The more players there are, it behooves one to play more aggressively, as there are fewer opportunities to attain properties, or at least more competition. As what often happens in games of three, gridlock soon presented itself and it was looking like there were not going to be any naturally occurring monopolies (those attained without trading with other players.

Now, I have a strange quirk, I do not like to start wheeling and dealing until the last property is purchased. I know it is not necessarily a logical move, but to me it is keeping with the spirit of the game. While I was orbiting around the board with modest capital and a few scattered properties, the maniac, Em Dog, decides to start proposing bizarre trades with Leslie. We're talking, I'll give you $300 and a uitilty for two Holiday towns (railroads), that would result in absolutely nothing for her, and railroad dominance for him. I tried to chime in and offer advice, but Em Dog had referenced a (what I believe to be made up) rule saying that players cannot offer advice to sway the result of a trade. This did not feel very in line with the spirit of the game, and I thought Em would try to play like a gentleman today, rather than his usual Joker-esque performance.

I won't go too much more into detail, but after a series of nonsense trades, it was down to Em and me. As I had no monopolies, and was not yet in a mood to trade, I was swiftly ground down to a pulp, resulting in Em Dog's second victory of the season. I guess chivalry is dead afterall.

3/14/22

What in the World did we just Play?

This week, Em Dog and I played a bizarre bootleg version of monopoly: Real Tree-opoly. I have no idea how he acquired this sketchy item, but alas, we decided to give it a try. We were initially amused by the boards tacky design, obviously based on our beloved Monopoly franchise games, yet also so wrong in other ways. Besides technical errors such as spots being in the wrong place (most likely to avoid getting sued), the pricing was all sorts of bass-ackwards. Things were being charged and sold in strange increments of five, or other odd numbers. As the banker, I was not even sure if we were supposed to start with the usual $1500 dollars, or if there was something in the radioactive waste that was the rulebook (which I absolutely did not bother with looking at) that indicated otherwise. The spots on the board were grotesquely amusing. The usual property spaces were all different kinds of animals you could hunt and presumably kill. And the railroad spaces were different weapons, three types of guns and a crossbow. Lovely.

We decided to put our reservations to the side, suspend our disbelief, and get the game going, playing our usual way, clumsily translated to this contraband Real-Tree-Opoly board. To be sure, Em Dog and I spent the entire game complain-laughing at how sketch this game was. Prices on cards were not accurately reflected on the board, animals were not correctly labeled (the moose and the caribou were switched around for some reason), and one card actually had corrections written on it with what looked like marker. We were unsure if this was done by the developers or if this game was pre-used, its unknown provenance leading to a sort of mystique.

The Caribou and the Moose corresponded (we think) with the big ones, Park Place and Boardwalk, but it was hard to tell which were the big ones, because the property sets did not all follow an even progressive price increase. So, a few spaces down the board, with the black bear and grizzly bear (poor guys), seemed to be the highest priced items. Oh, and another side note, houses and hotels were deer antlers and treestands. Yep. I ended up acquiring the Caribou and the Moose, which I thought meant that I was in good shape to sweep this game. I was not. There was also an elk on the board too, which confused me because I thought caribou and elk were the same animal, but at this point I just stopped asking questions and tried to get this game over with.

Anyway, my top prize monopoly proved to be useless, as Em Dog acquired a couple lower tier monopolies which in this game, were not as low paying as in canon. I was paying what I thought was way too much for what translated to the light blue spaces. Another point of contention I had with the game was the weapons. Not just my bleeding liberal heart, but the spaces cost as much as in the real game ($200) but owning all four only yielded a payout of $100. So, when I acquired all four, I was swiftly disappointed by their lack of utility.

We plodded along in a less frantic pace than usual. And Em Dog did not play in his usual chaotic style, as it turned out not to be necessary. I lost fair and square. 3 up Em Dog. This game was infuriating, but so hilarious that I would play it again only to show people how ridiculous it is.

3/21/22

Philip Glass

Stan Chordy and I got together for a classic two-person Monopoly get together this week. Unlike the mayhem that the games with Em Dog can be, our games can take on a robotic, almost deterministic character, in which the pace and the rhythm take precedent over the outcome. Minor interruptions such as getting up to go to the bathroom or looking at your phone are viewed with contempt.

I decided to put on some music. On my YouTube playlist there was a Philip Glass collection. Before we knew it, we were swiftly and silently going around the board, in deadlock, for an unknown period of time, as a hypnotic and repetitive motif went on indefinitely. Our play style began to match the music, endlessly spiraling with only minor deviations occurring here and there. I like minimalist music, but after around twenty minutes of this motif I was starting to get nervous and decided to break the lapse in conversation with something along the lines of, "this music is wild, you know Philip Glass?" Which Chordy replied to with, "uh, yeah. I studied his music at NYU."

The game went on like this for some time before the next album came on, Kind of Blue. This was a little more conducive to active gameplay. We toiled on a little further before deciding to make some conservative trades which ultimately led to my demise. It was interesting to note the effect that music can have on a game that does not seem inherently musical. But if you get two musician/monopoly fanatics together wonderful things can happen. This highlights an aspect of the game that I feel many people overlook, the rhythm and pacing. At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself why you're playing monopoly in the first place? To be a greedy capitalist and send the world into a depression, or to roll around the board, talking about life and music with friends?

3/28/22

One Game to Rule Them All

When I was a kid, my mom, sister, and I played Lord of the Rings Monopoly almost every day. We still do on occasion, if we get together over the weekend. Now, years and years later, the board is quite worn, and most of the money is completely crumpled due to irresponsible money handling practices that was definitely not me. As well as having different properties, spaces, and characters (I'm always Frodo, obviously), the game has an optional "short game". The short game involves taking the "one ring" to Mount Doom (i.e., Boardwalk), by rolling a specially marked 1 on one of the dice, which is the Eye of Sauron. When the ring goes around the board and lands on Mount Doom, the game is over, and the player with the most money wins. This can lead to some interesting ramifications if you choose to have the rings final journey be the determiner of the end of the game rather than being wiped out by another player's monopoly. When my mom and sister play (I don't care for this rule), if all your money gets taken by someone's property, they grab a calculator and start calculating how much in debt they are. There have been some comically large sums of debt amassed playing this way.

Over the years, my sister and I have developed additions to this quickplay version that could cause the game to be semi-unrecognizable to other Monopolizers. For instance, instead of only moving the ring to the next property space upon the rolling of the Eye of Sauron, we have it stop on every space on the board. The ring acts as a sort of doubler, in that if you land on a space that someone owns and the ring is on that space, the player is owed double the amount. If you land on a card space, and the card says to pay $100 (in LotR it's power instead of dollars for some reason, but I have no idea how you pay 100 power for anything so we use the colloquial dollar), the player has to pay $200 (which goes into the free parking pool in the middle, no $500 dollar starting pot, however). Another way to make the game interesting is if a player lands on a space they own and the ring is also on that space, the player must relinquish that space to the middle pot, potentially upending a monopoly, or having it get snatched up by an opponent.

This weekend, the three of us got together for a game of LotR Monopoly, quickplay ring version. We selected our avatars, mine being Frodo, Mom as the elf lady thing, and Sadelyn as Aragorn. Sadelyn and I decided that we were going to play the game with the additions that we normally do when we play one on one, which led to our mom getting upset and accusing us of making everything up as we went along, which to be fair, does kind of look that way. Playing in the strange way we do leads to many questions from people who normally follow the given monopoly standard. For instance, "what happens if the ring is on the jail space? Do you have to stay twice as long?" The answer to this, and all other asinine questions, is simply to consult the spirit of the game. So, no. You don't stay in jail twice as long. That's ridiculous.

The railroads in this version are four different horses from the books/movies. Our mom gathered a couple of them, but to her dismay had to lose one due to the ring, which led to an extensive argument about our made-up rules. Tensions only increased when I landed on Free Parking and acquired said horse along with upwards of $1000, leading me to be able to purchase more properties, acquire a monopoly (the Reds), without having to mortgage any of mine.

Before I get into the details of my overwhelming victory, it should be noted the difference in play style that our family has compared to others in the Monopoleague. Our games turn into semi-serious screaming matches where we say things to each other that would normally not be acceptable at a family get together. For instance, calling your mother a "f*cking b*tch" is not normal, or at least shouldn't be in any context, but in a game of Monopoly it is common practice. In reference to the pacing of other games this season, when the family plays, we encourage a brisk pace, only instead of a natural progression, each turn is usually prefaced by the other players yelling "Go! Go, go, go!" which can lead to frantic gameplay.

With my four valiant steeds and now two monopolies (Orange and Red corner), when the ring finally made tis way to Mount Doom, I had the most capital and liquid assets (and I didn't even have to lose a finger!) Winner packs up the box, then we went back to having a relatively peaceful afternoon together, no hard feelings. This helped me regain my spirits after a few humiliating losses I sustained this season.

4/4/22

Loose Ends

What happens to all the aborted games that never get finished? Do they languish in purgatory indefinitely, never to be granted solace? She said she wanted a game night. We made chili, watched some bad TV, then set up the Silver Line edition, with me as the new game piece, the kitty cat, and her, my prodigal friend, Clara (name once again obscured for privacy), as the busker's upturned cap. I had been looking forward to this game for weeks ever since Clara returned to my life, and I had thought that she would be a welcome, if not a bit late, addition to the Monopoleague. The story of a game like this can only start at the end, as it was doomed from the beginning, much like our relationship.

The game started with me as the banker (obviously) dealing out the $1500. While a new edition to the league, Clara was familiar with the game already, so we did not have to have the slow and awkward re-hashing of the rules like previously mentioned to other recent initiates. We were off to the races, and I wasn't about to go easy on her, perhaps letting past emotions influence my playing strategy. That and I was in serious need of a win to get my shameful numbers up this season and redeem myself from recent upsets by Em Dog and Stan Chordy. With some clutch properties sealed off in my first tour around the board, I was feeling like I was in good shape to secure a win.

It was around the second or third lap passed Go that I noticed Clara was displaying some dramatic signs of drowsiness; yawning, slow reaction times, and finally, being asleep. I was nonplussed. Here, I thought I had a chance at redemption, and now I have a so-called friend pretending to be asleep in order to get out of playing what looked like would have been a losing game for her. Well, I don't know about you, but an incomplete game neither counts as a win or a loss in the league, so when Clara suggested that I won by default, I responded by leaving the board exactly where it was and saying that we would finish this later.

The game lay there in its state of suspended animation, for a shamefully long eleven days before giving up the ghost, putting it back in the box, and having a long think about life and Monopoly.

4/11/22

Saturday Night with the Boys

Another week of monopoly with a core grouping of Monopoleague members, Em Dog, Jake the Snake, and Nelson. Perhaps it was the weekends blow to the head (I was randomly violently assaulted, in a non-Monopoly related incident, leaving me with a concussion), but I found myself introspective about life and Monopoly--why is it that we are so drawn to this game? It also left me wondering how this game ties in with everything we have learned so far this semester.

For one, while it may not seem like it at first, there are endless possibilities for meta-gaming with Monopoly. For a depression era board game with a seemingly straightforward intent and purpose, this may seem like a stretch, but from its inception we can see the possibilities. Do you choose to engage in a financial dark triad of behaviors, crushing your opponents and sending shockwaves through the housing market, or do you plod along in your Hooverville just trying to get by? The film series Zeitgeist has one of my favorite takes on Monopoly. I forget the exact quote, but the message is that at the end of the game, it all goes back in the box. It doesn't matter how ruthless or cunning you were, how much money you made or properties you bought--it all goes back in the box. So maybe it really is all about the friendships you made and conversations you had along the way.

After playing so many games this season, I also began to pick up on fellow league members' playing styles. Nelson plays the most conservatively, tending to bide his time waiting for the big properties, and tending not to go for trades. Em Dog is the resident wild card, making bizarre propositions and opting to go for the more entertaining, rather than pragmatic decision, and Jake tends to be along for the ride until the first sense of defeat, in which he will either bow out, or humor Em Dog in his antics. I, myself, have my rituals. I do not engage in trades until the last property is accounted for. Also, I usually strive to make equitable trades without trying to pull a fast one on unwitting newbies. All in all, I try to keep my play style in accord with what I deem to be the "spirit of the game", a nebulous term which pretty much means whatever I say it means at any given time.

The game board we used this week, which is the one we usually use at Em Dog's house, The Nightmare Before Christmas Monopoly also alludes to IRL meta-gaming on the part of Hasbro. The core concepts of the game, financial gain and market dominance are somehow translated to any type of theme imaginable, whether it is beloved television shows (e.g. Bob's Burgers, The Walking Dead), videogames (Animal Crossing), or literature/film (The Lord of the Rings, The Nightmare Before Christmas).

With that in mind I tried to think about how conducive a game like Monopoly is to a world like Halloween Town. Certainly, Christmas and capitalism are inextricably linked in our world, but in-universe greedy landgrabs do not particularly seem a propos in a world where Jack is trying to capture the spirit of Christmas. What would a game of Monopoly be like where all the players strive for altruism and equity rather than individual gain?

We did not have that kind of game this week. Despite my condition, I capitalized on Em Dog's poor decision-making, and obtained high profile monopolies which quickly swept the other players. Never trade cash for properties. That is a rookie mistake. I finally got that win that I was robbed of last week.

4/18/22

A Family Affair

Easter was this weekend which meant that we got to have a family game. My sister, Sadelyn, and two of our teenage cousins, Lawrence and Brendan (collectively we are known as "the kids table"; why I am still at the kids table when I am 30 and have a child of my own is beyond me) decided to split off and play a game of Lord of the Rings Monopoly. My son Dexter joined us as well, but as an observer, as he is one and not capable of grasping the spirit of the game.

The four of us have been playing a yearly game of monopoly since the cousins were in grade school. A common tradition then was to try to get them to say curse words and other hilarious phrases. It is where the famous, "you play Monopoly like a stroke victim" and "if I had a child, I would make its first word be 'chodestroker'" came from. We selected our characters (I, Frodo again, obviously) and we were off.

Now, time is limited, and it is generally understood that we may not finish a full game during these family gatherings, so we opted for a speed run. Lawrence and Brendan were skeptical of the new rules that Sadelyn and I had posited in our previous game with our mother, namely the double everything and lose your property if you land on it with the One Ring on it rules. But after some Talmudic discussion we were underway.

I was surprised to see how conservatively Lawrence was playing. Rather than try to snatch every property up, like Sadelyn, Brendan, and I, he opted to save his money for the Blues and Greens. This strategy, while not uncommon, is often a foolhardy one. The other three of us were rampaging through, picking off property after property, even after certain ones lost their utility (i.e., two of three in a set were already accounted for, but, hey, you never know what's going to happen). I went for my textbook "play like a terrorist" approach. That means, if I land on a property, I'm buying it. It doesn't matter who owns what, or even if I have the cash to do so. I will mortgage off properties, if need be, to purchase anything in my path. This strategy proved to be my undoing.

My rituals seem to have gotten the better of me this week and while I had obtained Barad-Dur and Mount Doom, I had no money to afford houses or hotels (in this iteration they are called strongholds and fortresses, but the jargon among league members remains the same). Sadelyn managed to eke out a victory with the meager Magenta monopoly, due in part to my foolish behavior, and due to Lawrence and Brendan not owning anything of consequence. With four players, it really can be difficult to obtain properties as they all get accounted for rather quickly. But time waits for no man, and when the One Ring to Rule Them All came marching past the finish line, Sadelyn had the most money, and another victory this season.

4/25/22

"You Sure Like to Play Monopoly"

I am told this rather regularly and I suppose it is true. Sometimes I wonder myself, for someone who really does not enjoy most games, whether it be tabletop, cards, video, or otherwise, why is it that I am so drawn to a game that centers around another thing I do not really like, capitalism. It really is the perfect mix, though, from a game maker perspective. And if interpreted correctly, it is cleverly subversive. The point of the game is to screw over your loved ones and selfishly amass a fortune. It's also a great meta-game. A game about capitalism, which is already essentially the gamification of human interaction. But while this is all fun pseudo-philosophic musing, it really isn't why I like playing the game.

The truth is, I like Monopoly because it allows for a space where I and a friend or a couple of friends can just sit and spend some time together. It doesn't matter who wins or loses, the whole point is to enjoy each other's company and have some good conversation. That's why this week was so disappointing.

Stan Chordy came over for a game of Monopoly--a rather common occurrence. And while there is typically a lot of good-natured banter (e.g., "if you can roll, you can roll", "look alive, asshole") this week was not in keeping with the spirit of the game. For one, the rule about not being on your phone was being excessively and egregiously breached. I would periodically ask, "playing'?", which started jovial at first, then progressively got more and more agitated and passive aggressive. I did not like the person I saw myself becoming; it was as if I was a spurned lover, and I was starting to resent the man I married, who jokingly refers to me as his husband, which the more time we spend together, the more I cannot discern reality.

I have a flashback to 2015, when we were young, had no cares in the world. Every day was spent at the beach, every night in my ex-girlfriend's apartment playing monopoly. It is a fool's errand to chase those halcyon days. The law of diminishing returns will leave us as strung-out nostalgia junkies. No, things are different now and we can either keep our heads up on the horizon, looking ahead to different, yet potentially better Monopoly games ahead, or we can recoil inward, becoming husks of who we used to be. We press on.

Chordy, at least temporarily, puts his phone down and apologizes for his cell phone use, and I too, for what was admittedly an inordinate reaction. As we move our pieces around the born, with clearer air, I the kitty (new player character in the Silver Line edition) and he the wheelbarrow (presumably for his anticipated windfall of cash), we begin to discuss the project that I am working on. From the outset, I confided in him my concerns over the nature of my project, that it isn't a video game, that it does not sustain close and repeated attention. We arrive at a stalemate with all the properties accounted for. We press on, regardless, the nature of the game has changed somewhat.

We both know that this game could go on indefinitely as we both do not have any monopolies. Trading would easily ameliorate this, but we tacitly agree that is not what we need right now. We alternate turns silently and in a timely manner. Once we have gotten to the somewhere in space and time where we needed to be, we make the decision to follow through and set the game into its mortal fate. I trade a yellow for a red, a gentleman's wager. We spin around the board a few more times, our rule of an ever-present $500 bill in the Free Parking shaking things up from time to time and extending the game's artificial lifespan.

I decided to go down with the ship. This may have resulted in a loss of a game. But also, a mending of a friendship, which is what this game has always been about.

5/2/22

Maypril

So far this year, what is usually my favorite season, Maypril, has been cold and gloomy. I yearn for warm sun and blooming flowers.

Until then, there's Monopoly. I meet up with Em Dog for one of the final matches of this season's Monopoleague. He was alerted of my last game with Chordy, only I left out some of the sentimental details. He wouldn't understand. Em has been a bit confused into the nature of this project that I am working on, but always eager to help out if it means playing Monopoly.

We opt for The Nightmare Before Christmas over the absolute abomination that was Real-Tree-opoly. Honestly, those people should be in jail. I'm playing as Jack Skellington, because my various neuroses require me to always insert myself as the main character, Em Dog is the car, which is like the car from regular Monopoly, except Halloween-y. We put on some 90's hip-hop, our usual soundtrack to our Monopoly games, and we set off for another league match.

I was determined for a win. The irony of this whole project is that I was on a hot streak before I started playing this game for class. And after sustaining so much repeated and close attention to these games, reality was starting to become blurry. How much can one extract from this game? At least playing with Em keeps things exciting. But that is one thing about this game that alarms me. By all accounts I should be completely sick of it by now. But I'm not. Each time I open the box I am just as excited as the last time. The question comes up once again: what is it about this game that my friends and I love so much? Are we strange? It is probably best not to think about too much, but then again, the nature of this project is having me think about things I normally do not think about. I decide I'm going to loosen up and play like a wild card.

$300, the utilities, and a pink. This is what I traded the Holiday Town/railroads that I had for. Neither of us had a monopoly from the deal. Our remaining properties were still in the bank, but we decided to play like drunk gamblers with someone else's money. It was liberating. Why hadn't I thought of playing like a maniac before? I have my rituals, my code of conduct, my spirit of the game. None of it means anything, though. For instance, why do I stack my money on top of itself in one neat, yet apparently unorganized, pile instead of separated by denomination? Why do I insist on waiting to make trades until the last piece is accounted for? The answers to these questions will have to be saved for my therapist some day when I am ready. For what was supposed to be a fun pickup game between friends turned into a philosophical quagmire. But I was determined to have a good time and not betray my inner turmoil to a friend who would probably understand, but I did not feel like bothering.

Well, naturally Em Dog ended up snatching the pink one that I needed from that ridiculous trade I needed, and shortly after his necessary railroad (Easter Town). He mentioned something about giving him $1000 and a light blue for it and even though this seemed like a lopsided trade against him, I suspiciously declined. What kind of maniac plays like that? The worst part is that he does not care. He can play with no logic, no rhyme or reason, and still have a good time. Me, I play like a mechanical man, insistent on following the game in a deterministic pattern, preordained by the big bang. My obsession with true randomness in an ordered universe coming out into everything I do. I am not a player of Monopoly; I am a vessel through which reality experiences itself. To play as I do is to become one with the magnificent unfolding that is life itself.

I lost. Swept by the railroads and the light blues. I was dejected, but not so sure I was ready to break out of the mental prison that is my Monopoly playing cycle. To me, this didn't feel like a real game. The spirit of the game felt like it was tampered with. But finding creative expression in a semi-deterministic game developed as a Depression era critique of rampant unchecked capitalism seems like the last true bastion of genuine artistry. Why does it feel so wrong?