Grief and Healing

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/qNVtDeffUw7UWP31/?mibextid=qi2Omg

Sharing this post as it really resonates with me. I think it is a great reminder to be gentle with others who have experienced great loss and trauma and are doing their best to hold themselves together and carry on living.

My grandmother, who raised me, died on 13 May 2017. There is an online memorial site for her here:
https://www.dignitymemorial.com/en-ca/obituaries/victoria-bc/dorothy-smith-74102...

I have shared stories about her through my social media posts and comments, and I have also written a bit about her life, her death, and my relationship with her in one of my book entries (paragraphs 5-9):
https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/1040940-Background-Information

After she died, I kept "hearing" her voice in my head saying over and over again, "Are you happy Chan? I just want you to be happy." I "floated" around after her death performing my duties at work and at home, but I didn't feel like anything really mattered anymore. Nothing in my life felt truly real anymore or sincerely connected to my spirit or to my humanity. After a few more months I finally realized that no, I was not happy at all and I hadn't been happy for many, many years. I just acted out a part and allowed myself to be steered by other people into jobs and relationships that didn't resonate with my soul, with who I am, and with what I envision for my life.

I made the best out of these situations, including a miserable marriage because I thought that was what I had to do, what I was obligated to do, what I was "supposed to" do. So, I left my marriage and eventually my "career" that was not even of my choosing.

Today, I have much less "stuff" than I had back then, but that doesn't bother me very much. I actually feel much lighter and happier now than I have in many, many years. I do hope to someday soon have a place to stay where I will be allowed to have autonomy over my own body, and a quiet and private area to read, write, meditate, and exercise. I do not currently have a job, nor do I have a source of generating any income for myself. I do not receive public or private financial assistance either, despite all of that, I do find great purpose and meaning sharing my testimony online through artistic expression. I also share witness statements and testimony from others—especially focusing on human rights violations, sexual violence, genocide, war/conflict & other "difficult topics" and "sensitive matters".

I also ensure to never forget to remain thankful and appreciative of those who work and make great concessions in their own lives—often at the expense of their families—and sometimes even sacrificing their own lives, to maintain peace, order, freedom, and democracy in our communities and in our world. I also love to show my support and solidarity with women's rights on an international scale, the fight against terrorism and authoritarian rule in Iran and the rest of the axis countries. I also know that it is vitally important to show my support for all the political prisoners, activists, and others around the world who continue to advocate for freedom and democracy, and to stand up and speak out about human rights abuses, violations of charter rights, and other crimes against humanity, often at great risk to their lives and their livelihoods.

And, throughout it all, I maintain that it is still of utmost importance to notice and appreciate the beauty of the world around me, no matter how dark and hopeless things are, or appear to be, and to share it with others around the world through social media. ❤

Chantelle Marie Smith

I acknowledge Israel, and the entire city of Jerusalem, as the traditional and unceded homeland of the Jewish people who have lived on the land since time immemorial.
#StandWithIsrael 🇮🇱❤️✡️
❤️‍🔥✊️ زن زندگی ازادی ✊️❤️‍🔥
متحد علیه دیکتاتورها
متحد علیه تروریسم
متحد علیه اپارتاید جنسیتی