Letter to the Child within

Dear Child,
You don't know me. at least not yet. Now I know your not scared of who or what it is talking to you, you probably guessed. What you haven't guessed is that this is what I turned out to be. Don't feel bad, none of this matter anymore. I know you want to avoid it, I'd avoid it too, and I can't anymore, you do. You've been through a lot already and you're aware of what's ahead. Don't get discouraged by it, none of it is worth it. What's worth is your dreams. You may not have any yet, that's okay. You're so young and not ready to have a clear view. It seems hard at times, but what's important is to live, truly live while you're at it. You don't owe anyone anything yet, so don't go on looking for debts already. Don't be afraid to show who you are, who you truly are. Everyone will talk behind you, in front of you, and so what? People talk anyway. You already know that, I'm sure. Doesn't hurt to be reminded. I'm sitting here in the night withing these four walls, at this witching hour, reminiscing, overthinking, with an overcooked soul, so I guess I have no right to tell you what's wrong and what's right. That's up to you buddy. But I can tell you one thing, it's not your fault. You know what I mean, exactly what I mean. It never was your fault. So don't let that be the end of it, because often than not, you will make mistakes, and when you do, make sure to be better. I don't know what better is, no one does, and who tells you otherwise is lying. Stand up for what you think is right even if it's wrong. And when you do realize it's wrong, and key word is when YOU think it's truly wrong, don't be scared to admit that. That's how you'll learn. I think you've noticed already that you learn best by experiencing and choosing what feels right and what doesn't, don't let that end there. A failed experience is nothing to be ashamed of, you're not God. And if you think success will make you worthy in the eyes of others, worthy of the love, it doesn't. no one has the right to tell what you deserve or don't. nobody is deserving of anything, and that's exactly why you should give it and received. Life is a give and take only when if it was black and white. Sadly, everything is gray. Do what feels right and good when you feel it. You'll end up alone, lonely. But we are borne alone, and we die alone, you only got yourself. Don't get guilted into other's biddings, we're all guilty, none of us is a saint. be kind and most importantly be kinder to yourself because nobody will. I guess this sums up pretty much everything we were led to believe. Scratch everything up, all that is some toxic positivity bullshit. Life is messier and harder than this. The complexity of it isn't something to recon with. Paradoxes are everywhere, and logic only helps with the math problems you're acing. Life is but a boat in the middle of a sandstorm probably somewhere in Siberia. Your job is to be able to dodge its waves, surfing on them at best until you get slammed at the sidehill of the mountain and there's nothing you can do about it except enjoy it will it lasts, enjoy the achievements, enjoy the ride, enjoy the company, and just chill will it passes. All I can assure you is the rollercoaster will end sooner than you think. You're smart, nourish that, and tend to your body too because you'll need it for the babes. Stay weird youngblood, no force on this earth can bring you down, and if there is and it does, make sure to hit up the sickest drift down. By the time you're reading this it's too late, you're writing it, in that dark four walled room, at the witching hour, wondering, excited for what's to come. It'll be fucking glorious.
Sincerely yours, young adult.
P.S: this was the letter left by one of our mental institution patients, who's been struggling since a very young age of major depressive episodes, and extreme mood swings and peculiar behavior consistent with borderline personality disorder among other things. Sadly, the patient managed to slip out our surveillance and security and put a tragic conclusion to his days. All was left behind is this letter and a sea of broken and saddened hearts.