Then and Now (actively editing)

THEN AND NOW



Then

As a little girl, misunderstood (9)
it was tough to act as a child should ... (9)
happy, social, and eager to play (9)
they weren’t the normal parts of her day. (9)

Serious, shy, and hiding her face (9)
made it hard for her to find a place (9)
where she felt normal, part of the crowd (9)
not left out and muttering aloud ... (9)

"What's wrong with me, why don’t I fit in (9)
why can’t I ever chalk up a win? (9)

She always thought there should be a rule (9)
like "It's not allowed to be so cruel (10)
to sensitive souls who tend to cry (9)
tears of hurt in the blink of an eye (9)

She longed to be more like her brothers (9)
out having fun with all the others (9)
but all too often, it was her fear (9)
that



they avoided her like they were afraid (10)
of how different she was; how uniquely I was made

she mostly thought of herself as broken
because of words that she heard spoken
behind her back but even to her face
they formed thoughts she could never erase

so she went it alone pretending all was okay,
in her make-believe world where it was safer to play.


Now

Older and wiser; misunderstood still
it’s hard to respond as most adults will

to being social, well-adjusted, and eager to engage
I still find it difficult, even at this age

though somewhat less serious, I sometimes still hide my face
and find it hard to locate a place

where I feel accepted and part of the crowd
not left out and thinking aloud

after all these years, I still don’t fit in
but at least now I know, it’s okay, I can win

at this wild and crazy unpredictable ride
with its ups and downs; I just have to decide

will the status quo win or will I fight
to escape from the darkness in search of the light

the answer is easy, I’ll fight all the way
when where I’m at isn’t a good place to stay

I’ll open the door and step inside
where deep down I know my soul will provide

a way back to that girl who will play a big part
in guiding this woman back to her heart

and on to a path that will lead to such growth
that she’ll finally learn how to love them both.

LC: 74